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Archive for the Kate Beckinsale Category

2010

07

May

Hot Mom Kate Beckinsale at the Doctors of the Day

I have a thing for hanging outside of the Doctor’s office down the street from me because I don’t have a TV and I can let my imagination go wild as bitches roll through the fucking place. I see them in the waiting room and I try to determine why they are there. Is it because of a yeast infection, or a horrible STD, are they spotting, or late on their period, do they feel a lump in their tit, or are they getting an aborition, is there a pregnancy exam going on, has she accidentally lost a condom or dildo inside her, or are they there for an innocent ailment but the doctor steps up the creepy and insists on digging through their pussy for answers….as far as I’m concerned it’s never because of a flu, cold, cut that needs stitches, sprained ankle, or shitting issues or even medicinal marijuana prescriptions cuz that would make my afternoons at the walk in clinic way more fucking boring than they already are….not to mention far less sexy….

So I don’t know why hot mom Kate Beckinsale is at the doctor, but I think it’s safe to assume it’s got to do with her hot mom pussy….cuz why else would a bitch go to a doctor….Seriously….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Doctor|Kate Beckinsale

2009

03

Dec

Kate Beckinsale and Zooey Deschanel for Absolut Vodka of the Day

Two of my favorite things in life is booze and useless pussy. Here are a few ads for Absolut Vodka that are pretty fucking boring to me, because I like usually like drinking my booze and not looking at pictures of my booze, and I definitely prefer real women to pictures of women posing, and I really prefer those real women to be fuckin soaked through proper in booze, because historically, drunk bitches are easier to fuck, especially if you slip some shit in their drink and drag them out by their hair….

Either way, I don’t drink Absolut and I’m pretty much willing to drink everything, even rubbing alcohol if it’s cut with enough juice so that I don’t go blind, and maybe they should fix their formula before paying big money for this fancy art fag campaigns….because when I think of alcohol and women together, I usually expect to be slipping my hand down her fucking pants as she’s passed out in the corner….

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Here’s Zooey Deschanel….I don’t remember what she does…But now she has the credit of being in a boring Absolut campaign to add to her already very impressive resume……I don’t know what I am talking about.

Posted in:Absolut Vodka|Advertising|Kate Beckinsale|Zooey Deschanel

2009

04

Nov

Kate Beckinsale is the Hot Mother of the Day

Kate Beckinsale’s a mom. That always amazes me because the mom’s I know just don’t look like this. She’s got a hot fuckin’ body and her being worth fucking is the one thing I can agree with those virgin comic book losers who buy multiple copies of the movie Underworld, you know one to keep in the package, one to use to watch, one as a back up because virgin comic book losers are good collectors, excpet when it comes to collecting memories of all the pussy they’ve fucked, I mean that and that masturbation rocks.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Hot|Kate Beckinsale

2009

29

Sep

Kate Beckinsale Brings the Donuts of the Day

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I have a fat wife. Like a real fucking fat wife and donuts played a large part in her obesity due to her donut obsession. Seriously, She would go out with friends at 10 at night, usually at the local Dunkin Donuts and I'd be out drunk and come home at 4 in the morning drunk and she would still not be home, so I'd walk to the 24 hour Dunkin Donuts and she'd be there on her fourteenth donut and fifth hot chocolate and I'd have to drag her home. It was like that period of time I would see her get fatter and fatter everyday, and after you see something pretty much murder someone's sex appeal, not that she was hot to begin with, you can never really look the same at the thing again, especially when I'm stuck married to the bitch with no sex appeal...

So everytime I see donut shops or people eating the shit, I feel sick to my fucking stomach, but for sme reason when Kate Beckinsale does it, I get fucking hard, and getting hard to being with is a struggle for me, especially with the one thing I consider my enemy, which are donuts.

That said, I am so fucking shocked by this girl and her body, I do not understand how she has a kid, cuz kids normally ravage a woman like donuts ravaged my wife, clearly she's from a super genetic code, or maybe she's just the God Mother and the kids parents died in a fiery car accident or somehting, cuz it's just not human for her to be this good. Not to suck up or anything....cuz that's really not my style....I can't help but appreciate her....don't judge.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Donuts|Kate Beckinsale

2009

17

Jul

Kate Beckinsale and Her Leggings of the Day

I am always amazed when I remember that Kate Beckinsale’s got a kid. I’m sure she found the shit on the side of the road, or maybe it was her dying drug addict sister’s who needed a home, because it makes no sense to me that shit grew inside of her and ripped its way out of her, her body is too tight.

My only issue with Kate Beckinsale or giving her love for lookin’ good is that it makes me feel like a virgin werido who collects action figures because she did some movie that I’ve never seen called Underworld, but apparently every dude who can’t get pussy has and have since plastered their walls with her picture and name their pet iguana after her and shit.

Here she is leaving the gym in leggings or some shit.

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|Leggings|Mom

2009

20

Feb

Kate Beckinsale and Her Leather Dress of the Day

Kate Beckinsale shoulda have been wearing this dress the night she got pregnant, because instead of bustin inside her, baby daddy would have taken advantage of this special occasion outfit to see his seed roll down off it, at least I hear that’s what people who fuck people in latex are into, meaning like every other time he had sex, shit wouldn’t have stuck on the womb, but it really doesn’t matter because I think she’s bounced back from that pregnancy shit quite amazingly and if only more mom’s were like her, maybe the world would be a better place and men wouldn’t resent their wives for giving them a life sentence with a fatter ass than they married…..

Posted in:Dress|Kate Beckinsale|Leather

2008

23

Sep

Kate Beckinsale is Kissing a Dude and It’s Not You of the Day

I just wanted to post these pictures of Kate Beckinsale kissing her boyfriend or husband or whoever the fuck this is, because I don’t really know, but I do have a feeling that you do, because you view him as the one great obstacle between you professing your love to this bitch and riding away into the sunset on a white horse. Without rationally breaking it down to the fact that you are a nobody, you are ugly and you work a menial job, or no job at all, shit, I don’t know what you do, we’re not friends, but I do know the kind of person you are, and that is someone who has watched Underworld numerous times, at various speeds just to get a better angle of this girl. She is a hero to the comic book crowd and she’s not ever going to fuck one of the comic book crowd, so you should really move on and ask that fat girl in the back of your class out for a cup of coffee, maybe she’s got a good sense of humor and a high sex drive from never being given the opportunity to get cock, that may be exactly what you’re lookin for. Sure she’s no Kate Beckinsale, but I think we have to manage our expectations a little if you ever want to find happiness….

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|Kissing

2008

20

Aug

Orange You Glad Kate Beckinsale’s Got an Orange Bikini of the Day

Here’s some more Kate Beckinsale bikini pictures because she’s in a different bikini and I know her fans are pretty fucking loyal to her, so why not help them out considering they probably need all the help they can get.

I went into a DVD store about a year ago, I don’t really know why I went into a DVD store, but I was looking around and had nothing better to do and figured chicks would be there going crazy over Zac Effron for the High School Musical DVD release, I was wrong.

What I did find was some weird tall awkward lookin’ guy who was fishing through the Underworld director’s cut DVD. He spent about 10 minutes looking at each and every box, lookin for the best one, with the least amount of damage and was doing it in some OCD way that made me feel uncomfortable because all the DVDs were brand fucking new and it wasn’t like it would make a difference. He eventually went up to the clerk and nervously told him that he needed 2 copies of it because he needed it for his collection and that he wanted to keep one of them wrapped and needed it to have no stickers on it because it ruins the packaging or some shit and I chimed in and said something like “wow, you must really like that movie” and he went off….what felt like 3 hours later, but was probably more like 5 minutes, I had learned everything about the fucking movie as well as that he already had the original DVD at home and that he wants to marry Kate Beckinsale. The whole experience left me feeling creeped out and uneasy and hating virginity….

So I am posting these pics for that guy.

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|Orange Bikini

2008

19

Aug

Kate Beckinsale’s Snorkeling of the Day

I know that Kate Beckinsale has a huge fan base and that fan base is probably so excited to see her in her bikini that they have already jerked off to these before I’ve even posted them, but in their defense, I am pretty slow moving on posting new content.

Well here she is going for a little snorkel with some dude I assume impregnated her, I guess it’s a nice change of pace for her to have something in her mouth, instead of in her vagina, proven by the fact that she has a kid. I guess she wasn’t aware that if you finish a dude with your mouth these kinds of things don’t happen, or she just totally disregarded that and got to into it, begging him to cum inside her without realizing the consequences…..

Either way, She’s got a great body for someone who has a kid, it’s like a rare phenomenon that rarely happens unless the person pumping out the baby has them before they are 20, or if they have an eating disorder or budget to hire personal trainers to get in shape like shit’s a full time job. Another rare phenomenon – me being funny when tryng to write about some chick I don’t care about in a bikini….

Posted in:Bikini|Kate Beckinsale|Snorkeling

2008

18

Aug

Kate Beckinsale Bikini Pictures are a Scam of the Day

So the paparazzi are psycho cocksuckers who try to rape me everyday for posting pictures they claim belong to them, despite having written consent from the people in the pictures and they are making a fuckin’ killing cashing in on being the scum of the earth. When they aren’t in trees snappin’ off shots that they are going to turn around and sell for fucking millions, they are on my fucking jock about posting their pictures without paying, while threatening me with law suits, claiming that they will ruin me and destroy me. Really not the kind of people you’d want to invite to your family Christmas dinner at the homeless shelter.

Either way, they released these pictures of Kate Beckinsale, that could be of anyone, because the quality is so bad, and are selling this pixelated shit that reminds me of when I used to jerk off to scrambled porn, because she’s in a fuckin’ bikini and asshole fan boys are paying the price because all they need is someone to tell them it’s Kate Beckinsale in a bikini to cum themselves as they close their eyes and imagine them walking down the aisle with her before spending their first night with a woman in their honeymoon sweet with her.

In their defense, they are the same people who have been dressing their vaccuum cleaner as Kate Beckinsale for the last year so that they have something to cuddle in bed with at night, so I guess jerking off to these pictures isn’t as disturbing as what they are used to, but all I see is a scam from the photo agencies, who have been scammin’ longer than these virgins have been masturbating and I hope they eat shit and die.

Posted in:Bikini|Kate Beckinsale

2008

02

Jul

Kate Beckinsale’s Tit Falls Out Of Her Dress And No One Gets The Nipple of the Day

I never saw the movie Underworld, but I know that is the only reason why virgins and losers everywhere want to get in Kate Beckinsale’s pants. It’s pretty standard for the geeks of the world to be obsessive about things and have trouble letting things go, because they just sit around all day alone thinking too much, without the distractions normal people have, like girls they are fucking, sports they are playing, or booze they are drinking. Geeks just sit in their superiority complex room, looking down on those of us who have fun, dreaming that one day all the money they make will sweep the girls in movies they love off their feet, I guess it gives them hope to keep on living.

Here are some pictures of Kate Beckinsale, with her husband, grabbing at his cock and falling out of her dress, to taunt you with the harsh reality that bitch will never be yours no matter how many fan letters you send her, or how many pictures of her you print and cut out for your Kate Beckinsale scrap book, or how uncanny the resemblance of your sex doll you designed and her really are. I think she’s boring as fuck, but then again, so are you and that’s probably why you are convinced you are soul mates, you weird motherfucker.

TO WATCH THE VIDEO YOU’LL HAVE TO GO TO THOSE COCKSUCKERS AT TMZ WHO I HATE
GO

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|Tit

2008

14

Mar

Kate Beckinsale Hangs With a Homeless Lookin’ Dude of the Day

I know the dude with Kate Beckinsale is being photographed with is younger, cleaner, more attractive, less creepy, richer and has way more style that any of your virgin creeps, but the reality is that he’s not the conventional kind of person you’d expect to see hanging out with a celebrity you want to fuck. I know he’s not fucking her, or ever going to see her again brings hope to you.

Hope that all your cards play out the way you want them to and the you will one day you be next to Kate Beckinsale too, because cumming in your pants while she signs an autograph for you is a hell of a lot more exciting than jerking off on her printed up picture like you have been doing since you first saw her in underworld and realized she’d look great nice to your Star Wars action figure collection….

I guess if hope is what keeps you from killing yourself, then I am glad that I saved yet another life. I’m a modern day hero…..send nudes.

Posted in:Homeless|Kate Beckinsale|Tits

2007

29

Mar

I am – Kate Beckinsale's Underwear of the Day

kate_beckinsale_pantiestop.jpg

I used to try to get in girl’s pants by telling them that I wanted to be the smallest cock they ever got. For some reason, most girls thing that’s a lie and that anyone who brags about a small cock usually has a big one and they end up giving you a chance to prove yourself. It’s pretty simple maneuver but in my case 98% of the time it worked, they realized that I was the smallest cock they ever got with. Lucky for me, I never really got ashamed about it, I still got to bust my load and felt like the king, even if it was for only a 15 seconds…

Speaking of 15 seconds, here are some pics of Kate Beckinsale on the set of some movie showing off her underwear in a pair of jogging pants that remind me of the fifth grade or at least part of her underwear, is about as sexy as watching me take a shit, which is saying a lot, because me shitting is pretty fucking sexy, aside from all the blood.


Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|Unsorted

2007

29

Mar

I am – Kate Beckinsale’s Underwear of the Day

kate_beckinsale_pantiestop.jpg

I used to try to get in girl’s pants by telling them that I wanted to be the smallest cock they ever got. For some reason, most girls thing that’s a lie and that anyone who brags about a small cock usually has a big one and they end up giving you a chance to prove yourself. It’s pretty simple maneuver but in my case 98% of the time it worked, they realized that I was the smallest cock they ever got with. Lucky for me, I never really got ashamed about it, I still got to bust my load and felt like the king, even if it was for only a 15 seconds…

Speaking of 15 seconds, here are some pics of Kate Beckinsale on the set of some movie showing off her underwear in a pair of jogging pants that remind me of the fifth grade or at least part of her underwear, is about as sexy as watching me take a shit, which is saying a lot, because me shitting is pretty fucking sexy, aside from all the blood.


Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|Unsorted

2007

01

Mar

I am – Kate Beckinsale's Erect Nipples of the Day

katebeckinsale_nipples.jpg

I can’t believe that my life has come to me posting a picture of girls with erect nipples. I feel like I am that comic book, video game playing pervert who can’t get pussy. Reality is that I do it for traffic. I can’t convince people to read my site unless I have something as lame as a bitch I’ve never heard of pokin’ out of her shirt. To say that I am tired of this kind of content is like saying that choir boy is tired of being raped by the priest. Shit’s pretty fucking obvious, but here I am writing this post to these pictures and you’re not even reading this because all you care about is the next set of celebrity erect nipples to hit the internet.

I have to admit that erect nipples are a total turn on. When I was in grade 8, I used to jerk off to this fat chick in my classes hard nipples, because they were always hard and it was a new and fascinating thing to me. I remember later in life landing a girl who had inverted nipples and shit scared the fuck out of me because I didn’t know what I was supposed to be gently pinching with my tender touch….Now I am married to a fat chick who I don’t think has nipples as they spread the surface of her tit the fatter she got. I try not to looks but memories of the inverted nipples I was once scared of bring make me realize how stupid standards are. Take what you can get and love it when it’s happening because one day you may end up like me… That’s the end of this post, thank fucking god…

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|Unsorted