Lauren Conrad is not dead, despite what MTV wants you to think, you know with the whole cancelling the show she was the focal point of, that at the time was over-exposed and irritating, but now, a few years later feels like it never happened, unless of course you are Lauren Conrad, in which case it is all that you’ve ever done that matters.
Apparently, she has a fashion line and a series of books, but I’m more interested in her series of boobs, even when wondering why Marie Claire is doing this fashion spread on her, it just doesn’t make sense…like the dlisters die with the vehicles that made them dlisters. That’s what I say, but no one ever listens to me.
OMG! Lauren Conrad exists….she didn’t blow up with the rest of the cast of the HILLS like she should have…but I guess that’s because she’s gone onto bigger and better things….like posing in LUCKY magazine 5 years later, a magazine with a readership of at leaser 200 women at the gyno office….and she’s even showing a little bra to really set off fire alarms….letting us all know she’s not dead…even though she might as well could be….considering how much she matters now that her pollution has been taken off TV…..
And the real question is…how many dudes do you think have jerked off to her? I’m thinking not that many…
The Hills aren’t alive with the sound of music…they are dead…but unfortunately…not the kind of dead I want…cuz the trash on the show live on…even thought a plane crash woulda been a much welcomed series finale…there just aren’t enough plane crashes with young starlets this generation….we need are Richie Valen / Buddy Holly….and these idiots woulda been key players…perfect for the job….peaked after selling their souls….something some of them are struggling with that.. HEIDI MONTAG ROCKING STRIP CLUBS WITH HER SHITTY FAKE TITS CUZ IT IS ONE STEP AWAY FROM DOING PORN but this Lauren Conrad character seems to be doing just fine…..
Lauren Conrad is a useless reality star from a few years ago and has since done pretty much nothing…..and when you’re a useless reality star…..from one of the worst fucking shows to ever be on TV…..you have limited options of what you can and can’t do for exposure, attention or to get noticed…because you still have that itch of having people watching and talking about you that you need to get scratched…..
Sure, there’s porn, sex tape and playboy, which are the obvious options for someone who has ran out of money, but Lauren Conrad’s not there yet, so she hasn’t got that desperate yet, and luckily there’s always Glamour, other fringe magazines that consist of low grade commentary or articles…and shitty photoshoots….that are willing to do a photoshoot with her…probably cuz she’s advertising some shitty product she’s a spokesperson and insisted this be part of the deal…..and so here she is, topless, showing tits you didn’t know she had cuz you don’t know who she is…..and that’s real fucking life changing….isn’t it.
I am only posting these because I like standing at the bottom of stairs where girls who are dressed trendy in little skirts walk down because a good percentage of the time, you see pussy or at least pussy in panty and shit is almost exciting, even if the pussy or panty covered pussy you see belongs to a fat chick.
I am not posting this because I am a fan of Lauren Conrad or anything MTV and The Hills gave birth to, if anything I wish they got a fucking abortion when pregnant with these ideas, but I can’t control these things, I can just look at this pictures and dream about how these should have ended better, kinda like how I dream Audrina’s career ends better than it started, you know face down in a gutter.
Bonus that’s not really a bonus pictures of Lo Bosworth’s fat lets….
Phony actress Lauren Conrad brought her boyfriend out to the beach and shit changed my fucking life. Actually it didn’t. It just reminded me that someone so much more useless than pretty much anyone I know can be so much more successful and well-received by the general public, despite being average at best in looks and substance, but I guess that’s just the world we’re livin’ in, at least it’s going to end in 2012, at least that’s what I read, and that means I only have a couple more years before seeing all these fuckers die, because as you know, I will survive the apocalypse, because I’m a cockroach, I just don’t have much of a cock.
The Hills is such bullshit, I know everyone is onto them at this point, because I was having coffee at McDonalds earlier today and saw Pratt and Montag on The View and they were fucking struggling. Their fake marriages, to their called off marriages, to the fact they live together and that they have seperate rooms in the house, and Spencer stumbling how to answer questions, made me believe shit is sinking fast. Whoopi Goldberg wouldn’t even give them the time of day, because they are fuckin’ jokes, and I guess since Lauren Conrad is on the show, she’s just as full of shit as they are and here she is showing off some leg because it’s a slow hungover day….
If you know anything about young girls in Hollywood, you know that when they are wasted, they always leave the club with their head aimed to the ground and their hair in their face. I guess it’s because no matter how fucked up their insecure selves are, they always manage to remember to never let a paparazzi get a shot of their face, because when a girl is drunk, she ususally isn’t lookin her best. Which is weird because young girls in Hollywood never seem to remember to use condoms when they are drunk, which I guess is good news for the manufacturers of the Valtrex and the morning after pill,
Unfortunately, the drunk girls I know are a little more embarrassing than their Hollywood counterparts. You know, if they aren’t passed out in the fucking corner letting me finger bang them because they don’t know I am finger banging them, but technically, I’m not violating them, since they never say no and we all know that if they don’t say no then they aren’t totally against what you’re doing to them, then their causing scenes, screaming at bouncers or random people, pissing on the side of the street, or desperately trying to get their fat asses fucked by any guy willing to take them home and when their puke covered dresses get ignored, they end up crying and hating themselves more than they did before they started drinking.
Either way, it’s not news that Lauren Conrad likes to drink, I mean if you were here, you probably would be medicated too, it’s pretty much the only way you could live with yourself for being a lying joke of a celebrity and I call this drunken celebrity dance The Lohan.
People say Lauren Conrad is useless, and I say that’s bullshit, her show is useless, there’s no doubt about that, butaccording to these pictures she’s got a decent set of legs, both feet, both arms and both hands. I mean I’ve met amputees and they don’t really give a very good handjob, if you know what I mean…..
She’s also got a mouth, tits, an ass and a pussy. Making her as useful as any girl can possibly get. So stop hating on her, while I stop posting on the site, because this post was a fucking travesty and I think I’m better suited to go out drinking because I need new material and it is Wednesday night afterall….
Everyone hates on Lauren Conrad and the cast of The Hills for making shit loads of money for being useless cunts, but the real person to hate, is yourself. What it comes down to is that you or people you know watch the show and get caught up in their fabricated lives and feed into its success. That is the reason why she gets paid enough money to buy herself 115,000 dollar cars, while the rest of America is going bankrupt and losing their houses, and I feel like she deserves it because she’s the one on the fucking show and if she was getting paid any less, that money would be further lining MTVs pockets and their already making enough off this scam. So here she is in her nice new car she recently had delivered while I’m about to go out on a drive on my mismatched running shoes I got at the Salvation Army.
I came across this video of Lauren Conrad leaving a club and the paparazzi is a really nice guy. He calls her sweety and he tells her to be safe about 50 fuckin’ times like he is legitimately worried the paparazzi are going to Princess Diana her, except for the fact that no one gives enough of a fuck about her to run her off the road and into a cement wall. Maybe the dude was making reference to the sex she is going to be getting from the coat tail celebrity riding dude in the video, and the paparazzi doesn’t want her to get STDs or pregnant.
Speaking of unprotected sex, I wanted to message a friend of mine who knocked up a girl a couple weeks ago and who has been fighting with her to get an abortion and who actually won the battle yesterday, something nice. So I congratulated him on his abortion by asking if it turned him on. The problem is that I accidentally sent the message to a random hot girl, who like all girls older than 21, has probably had an abortion and she went nuts. It’s like shit struck a nerve, she got defensive, asked who told me about it and now thinks everyone knows she’s a fetus killer. I told her that the message was meant for someone else, and she wasn’t having it. Now she’s probably going to off herself because of the shame. Oh, the fun that is the internet.
Who fucking, knows, but I think this is the kind of game that made Britney Spears fall in love with her very own sweet talkin’ charmer of a paparazzi and again, who really gives a fuck.
I went through a period of time where I acted like an obnoxious artist. I wouldn’t watch movies, TV or read the paper because I didn’t want the outside world influencing me or my writing on the site, the truth was I was just poor, couldn’t afford TV, movies or books and it made for a good excuse to get my wife off my back when she wanted to go on dates or spend time together, not physically off my back because if she was on my back, I’d probably be hospitalized, but you know what I mean. I recently started re-integrating into society by listening to Ryan Seacrest’s weekly top 40 in the pharmacy on the weekend. I just send an hour roaming the aisles and not buying anything because they don’t care if I window shop. Last week, he was interviewing lying whore Montag and they were talking about Lo and Lauren from The Hills and since I will never watch the show I had no idea who she was, until coming across these pictures of her in a shitty see through shirt, being ugly and escorted out by Lauren Conrad. I don’t really know why I am posting this shit, but I’ve gone this far so will finish the job, I guess I’m just doin’ it for the drunk chicks out there, because one day this could be you and your Lauren Conrad will come in the shape of a random dude you don’t know who will have unprotected sex with you making you think you have AIDS and a pregnancy to deal with for the next few months. Oh to be young again.
I like drunk chicks, so seeing a drunk Lauren Conrad with her natural tits hanging out of her shirt makes me happy. I am tired of The Hills and the ugliness it produces and despite being average at best, Lauren Conrad is hotter than any of her costars. Heidi Montag is just horse-faced and ridiculous in her bible thumping bullshit lie of a life, and Audrina is a mutant who distracts you from her mutant face with a set of fake tits that I could have if I had 10,000 dollars to spend on tits, and last time I checked, if you can buy it, shit’s not representative of how hot you re.
I guess it doesn’t matter, mainly because The Hills don’t matter and soon enough the world will catch on and shit will be nothing more than something in the MTV archives no one really remembers enough to do a reunion special for and maybe I just like Lauren Conrad cuz she’s drunk and drunk girls have always been a crucail component in my getting laid….and here she is in low cut outfit busting out.
So Lauren Conrad’s not famous and either are her tits. She’s not like her reality star friends, who aren’t even reality stars because shit is scripted harder than my prescription pill popping friend, but reality stars because MTV wants you to think it’s real because that makes it more exciting to watch. Either way, she’s bending over and giving your ass a peek at some tit, which brings back memories of every time you leave your house, because you are a pervert and scope out everyone around you out so hard, hoping just one of them will be a woman slippin up with her low cut shirt bending over to pick up her purse, or her lipstick that she dropped so that you have something to jerk off to later and the good news is that you won’t get caught like I always seem to be every time I get caught checking out a girl, but that’s usually because I am hiding in their closet and can’t seem to hold myself back from jumping into the bath or in bed with them when they least expect it. It turns out that not everybody likes a good surprise and that’s all I have to say about that.