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Archive for the Paris Hilton Category

2009

04

Feb

Paris Hilton’s BFF Whoring Up for the Cameras of the Day

Paris Hilton’s fabricated friend who will remain nameless because I figure learning a new useless whore’s name is unnecessary when it’s pretty obvious that once the contract is up will fall back into obscurity in her hometown, or maybe back into obscurity in Hollywood chasing that 15 minutes she once had, auditioning for parts, going to events, addicted to a camera that’s not that into her anymore, but I will post her pictures, because watching her pose for the camera and take it in alone on the red carpet, without her boss who owns her, enjoying every second of it like each flash bulb going off is a winning lottery ticket makes me laugh because I know all that’s coming to an end….I guess she can use her new useless whore camera working skills at her family’s Christmas party, because I feel like soon enough, that’ll be the only people who want pics of her and that’s just because they made her and not because they’re proud of her useless accomplishments…

The whole thing may be fucking pathetic but what do you expect from someone who auditioned to be on washed up Paris Hilton’s show, a level of desperation a starving homeless man addicted to crack unable to scrounge up a dollar doesn’t even understand.

Posted in:BFF|Paris Hilton|Whore

2009

29

Jan

Paris Hilton and her Hard Nipples of the Day

Sure Paris Hilton having hard nipples isn’t hot, because she’s a cold bitch who is dead to me. But these girls talking about the cause of their hard nipples is porn to me.

That’s all I have to say about this, but I guess you could write your STD jokes in the comments because that’s never been done before….

Posted in:Nipples|Paris Hilton

2009

28

Jan

Paris Hilton Interviews Lady Gaga and I survived of the Day

So Paris Hilton is a huge fan of Lady Gaga’s, which means you need to stop listening to this cunt now. It also turns out they went to school together and I am sure Paris Hilton didn’t give her the time of day back then, meaning that her giving her the time of day today is some fake shit that you’d expect from Paris. But since Gaga was always seeking approval of her peers, proven in how she tries so hard to be different because they didn’t let her in their circle, she’s probably got a fucking female boner now that she’s made it. Who knows, maybe Paris helped lauch her career, maybe they are actually friends, but I do know that 5hiw interview is fucking tedious to watch and that Gaga’s one single is her only fucking single because I hate her and her rich kid trying to be different by pretending to be a fucking artist bullshit, not to mention, she’s fucking disgusting looking and I expect more out of the girls I see on TV walking around in their underwear. If I wanted to see a fat half naked ass in action, I’d just pull out my mirror and drop my pants and start my fucking jig I’ve been practicing all day, so I don’t need to see hers.

Sure, I’m all for people ripping off drag queens by dressing like assholes to get attention. I am also for people ripping of Christina Aguilera’s singing style and putting it to hipster shit, but bitch needs to take some fucking ownership to the fact that she’s just another mainstream popstar and not some revolutionary fucking artist paving the way for the next generation of artists. Real artists don’t host parties with Paris Hilton. Ever. They are too busy being crazy in their basements cutting their ears off and sodomizing themselves for creative inspiration. Maybe Lady Gaga would be better off in a fucking gag, unfortunately, the only thing she’s gagging on is her fucking chin because that’s the only explanation as to where it went. She needs to be working at American Apparel with the other try hards, pretending she’s so unique, instead of on the radio ruining my day, becuase that way only her immediate friends and the suck ups who suck her dick and feed her that false sense of confidence would have to hear her talk about how cool she thinks she is and how she’s on the next fucking level…so different that her fuckin creative venute is going to take the fuck over…..instead she’s just a fucking cookie cutter popstar who I want to see disappear.

Here are some pictures of the night at PUNK which is probably anything but PUNK, you know with a VIP list and security that won’t let you in with cameras and shit. I am posting them because I have them, not because I think they are worth lookin’ at. This girl is a waste of space, but at least the world’s given her the stamp of approval she’s always been lookin’ for….even if it only lasts a few months….she can always say she made it….that she was an artist and a talent and the world recognized it.

Here is some Paris Hilton at the event because she is just a fucking monster and her black panties probably smell like pure shit.

Here’s some Chick Named Mutya Buena Showing Off Her Panties Leaving the Event….what kind of name is Mutya…You know sure she’s a fucking dog, but do you have to drive the point home by naming her that Mr and Mrs Buena?

Here’s the Only Good Coming Out of Gaga’s Clown Costumes, and That is the follower whores who may or may not be famous because I am not good at recognizing this shit…

Posted in:Lady Gaga|Paris Hilton

2009

28

Jan

Drunkenstepfather’s Fashion Report of the Day

Today’s fashion report is about leather leggings. The reason you see whores in the shit is because it turns out to be the only fabric that prevents them from being forced to smell their own rank pussies everytime they sit down. This shit may not be indistructable and probably has to get thrown out after being worn once because of the acidity of their cunts burning holes in the shit, but latex is what condoms are made of, the shit fight AIDS, PVC is what pipes are made of the shit prevents shit from ending up all over your fucking basement and leather is what cows and motorcycle saftey gear is made of, so when cotton can’t stand the heat of a rotting vagina, these pants come in fuckin handy.

They also do a good sturdy job of supporting the vagina and keeping everything in place like a second skin when the first skin is too battered to do it’s job. You know like duct tape on the hole in your couch because nothing is more embarrassing than when a loose whore’s uterus falls out of her gaping hole and drags behind her like some kind of unwanted fuckin’ tail, especially in public.

Here are the whores in question for today:

Nicole Scherzinger:

Paris Hilton:

Posted in:Leather Leggings|Nicole Scherzinger|Paris Hilton

2009

20

Jan

Paris Hilton on the Beach of the Day

Here is something that pretty much amazes me. Fila, an athletic company has hired Paris Hilton to be a spokesperson for the brand. She’s not a model, she doesn’t have model appeal, she’s just a slut who does nothing, especially when it comes to fitness. Is the company’s mission statement to spread STDs, laziness and being a disgusting human being? Is their slogan, “Exploit your family name, release a sex tape and ride the wave that causes”. Are they telling us to fuck working out or taking part in sports unless that sport is sucking dick, huffing coke and hosting celebrity events?

Is Fila telling me to drive drunk, convince little girls that being a vapid stupid piece of shit the disgraces humanity and makes a mockery of Hollywood, fame and celebrity is a reputable goal in life? Are they trying to move away from being an sportswear company and moving into prostitution apparel? I don’t fucking know or care, but I do know that FILA is from South Korea and Korea loves tall blonde American sluts, so maybe it’s just the CEO’s way of getting into Paris Hilton’s pants…which is really the only thing that makes sense.

Posted in:Beach|Bikini Top|Paris Hilton

2009

15

Jan

Paris Hilton is Offensive of the Day

Paris Hilton makes me sick. These pictures of her in her pink Bentley I’ve written about before and it pretty much represents everything I hate about her. She is a tacky bitch who tries to fill the void that is everything about her by buying expensive things that mean absolutely nothing to her because she’s never had to work for anything in her life. She’s taken a nice car and ruined it, like she has to so many things, from teenage girls to Benji Madden not that he was ever a nice thing, but you know what I mean, because she’s a fucking devil. She’s fucking trash, she’s fucking tacky and when people are losing their houses, and so much bad is happening in the world that she could step out of her little princess life and actually do something to help, this kind of behavior is insulting. Let’s hope she drives that shit off a fucking ravine.

Posted in:Disgusting|Paris Hilton|Tacky|The Devil

2009

14

Jan

Paris Hilton’s BFF is Fucking Trash…Obviously…of the Day

I am not even going to bother researching this girl’s name because I have absolutely no fucking respect for her.

She won some contest to be Paris Hilton’s BFF, which is fucking ridiculous to begin with because Paris Hilton is an irrelevant, washed up rich girl with bad parents. I will argue that even if you’re aspiring to make it in the entertainment world and this is the only way you know how that is accessible, it’s not going to work for you because the whole concept of being anything that belongs to Paris Hilton is not only embarrassing, but degrading which means there’s no self respect, and despite no self respect usually leading to letting the right guy cum in her ass, if he promised to put her on TV when her contract with Paris Hilton is done, it’s still not going to get you work outside of porn and prostitution.

The fact that she has paparazzi pics of her is just another example that Hollywood is mocking us. They are producing shit and we are eating it up, because we all know that in reality, it takes years to develop a friendship you’d label BFF, not that you would because that would be fucking gay, so this is just another example of Paris Hilton playing some flakey bullshit that people seem to buy the fuck into, making her tons of money, and making me hate humanity, because that’s pretty much how she’s gone this far. It works for her….

I will argue that she knows exactly what she’s doing, and that this dumb ugly barbie shit is just a character people expect from her so the post isn’t about hating on Paris or her song and herpes filled lap dance, but it is about the poor confused irrelevant girl who has no concept of anything because to do this to yourself, you’d have to be a fucking retard, and I feel even retards wouldn’t do this to themselves and would rather be sitting in the corner hitting rocks together for hours on end.

The worst thing is that I know she is basking in the glory of following Paris around like her little fuckin’ pet. You know she’s bragging to her friends and going to sleep at night thinking she’s made it so far, even though it took zero fucking skill or intelligence to pull off. She’s just a fucking tool that Paris using to make more money with and after she’s thrown this moron to the fuckin’ curb when Season 2 of this garbage starts, I guess her eyes will finally open up, because spending a year hanging with Paris is bad enough, but trying to live down the title of Paris Hilton’s bitch without the money and trips to Australia and VIP entrance to clubs, is going to be a hell of a lot fucking worse….

I predict drug use and suicide, or a career in porn that leads to drug use and suicide.

Posted in:BFF|Paris Hilton|Trash|Underwear

2008

18

Dec

Paris Hilton’s Bff Gets Slammed of the Day

In totally uninteresting news, Paris Hilton’s New Bff got slammed in the car following Paris Hilton around. Sure, it’s not the way you’d expect anything remotely close to Paris Hilton to get slammed….but it’s still funny to see her get her leg slammed by the car door and seeing her hurt, because you’d figure competing to be Paris Hilton’s best friend would be a painful enough experience and leave you hanging from the attic rafters once you realize what you just won, even if getting paid to hang out with Paris is probably better than her previous job, but I know that no money in the world would convince me to spend time with Paris Hilton, unless that time was spend hurting her. I’m crazy like that and lying, because if she paid me 1,000 dollars a week, I’d fuckin’ be by her side every fucking time she called on me, defending her honor, but that’s only cuz I prostitute my integrity for drinking money pretty much all the time….

Posted in:BFF|Paris Hilton

2008

05

Dec

Paris Hilton Almost Died of the Day

Well unfortunately she didn’t die or almost die, but she is a rich kid and the kind of person who doesn’t leave the hosue for a week if she’s got a pimple. Unfortunately for the guys who have got herpes from her, she doesn’t take the same approach to pimples in her panties, but that’s just because the world doesn’t stare at them when in her party dress. What happened was she made a Grandiose Spoiled Cunt Who Thinks She’s Royalty exit from a club, as she does, without realizing she was walking into a brawl and she ended up getting pushed as some dude went nuts on a paparazzi, throwing punches because I assume he got sent an invoice for 50,000 dollars for posting their pictures like I did. Or maybe he got mad because the paparazzi got footage of him cheating on his girlfriend, like some guy who tried to fight me a few years ago while I was walking down the street video taping people and stopping on the slut he was with’s fake tits. Dude grabbed me by the throat, his group of 8 guys and 8 hookers circled around me and tried to break my camera, but we agreed to just delete the video because I wasn’t in the mood to get beat the fuck up by crazy guys I could tell like UFC who were drunk and jacked on coke and they weren’t in the mood to be made internet famous for their wives to figure out what the boys to when they go to Montreal for the weekend. The good news is that the video I deleted wasn’t even worth jerking off to so I guess I won in the end, at least that’s what I tell myself….as for Paris Hilton, it’s pretty unfortunate this wasn’t a gun fight and she just happened to get JFKed, not because I hate her, because I really don’t give a fuck, but because she’s pretty much better off dead.

Posted in:Fight|Paris Hilton