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Archive for the Paris Hilton Category

2007

01

May

I am – When Paris Hilton Meets Someone Uglier than Her She is at Her Happiest…

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I came across this picture on the internet this morning and figured I’d post it because it is Paris at Coachella and not in a hotel room sucking cock. I say that like I know the bitch personally and sit with her over pancakes and lattes while laughing at the cum shot that still clumps up her hair from the night before, but I really don’t know what make Paris her happiest, I just like to pretend I do.

I do know that this herpes ridden whore loves to be in pictures with girls who are uglier than her. That’s why she did the Simple Life with a fat Nicole, that’s why she was always seen partying with Kim Kardashian the Fat Armenian fashion accessory and now it looks like she’s pulled some broken down little rat out of the orphanage and brought her along with her to this concert as part of some make a wish foundation for orphans who don’t shower, or from broken homes with deformities inflicted on their face by their foster parent throwing beer cans at her as a baby. My guess is that it’s some PR move to make us think how good bitch is, when in reality all she had to do was not breathe in through her nose for the 2 minutes as to not get sick by the dirty rat’s stint, just to snap this picture.


Update -
The ugly girl in the picture is some hipster named Cory Kennedy …. Not a Ratty Kid Kid From an Orphanage with no showers, just a normal girl with a fucked up upper lip making her ugly enough to share the picture with Paris according to Paris’ people. Cuddles.

Picture via – TheCobraSnake

Posted in:Cory Kennedy|Hipster|Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

18

Apr

I am – Paris Hilton’s Fake Tits of the Day

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The funny news of the day is that Perez Hilton was paid by Paris Hilton’s people to not talk shit about her. I think that’s called selling out, but that’s not really surprising considering this fucker was hated so much growing up that he was a gun short of a school shooting. instead he took the high road and through years of self-hatred ended up with a shitty site that everyone started reading, god fucking knows why, because it was pretty clear to me that motherfucker was too ugly to listen to, but on his quest for acceptance he took the first offer than came his way from a real life celebrity and that was to pay him to keep his mouth shut. He’s a fucking pussy, even though he doesn’t have one, he’s just rocking a man cunt that I am sure a whole lot of young big dicked fags have cum inside many times, while doing meth they bought with Hilton’s money.

Point of the story is that I’d probably take Paris’ money too, but only because I am poor but I’d still say she was a worthless washed up cunt subliminally. Censoring yourself for dollars is pretty fucking weak and since I hae no respect for motherfucker, I guess I couldn’t lose respect for him, but I did get to remind myself why I have no respect for him.

Either way here are some pictures of Paris Hilton that made their rounds yesterday, I guess it’s the only way her herpes ridden ass can stay in the public eye, because it seems like mainstream guys like big tits enough to ignore a busted, broken down haggared face with nothing to offer, but a weight gain, a muff gut and face that’s going to look like a fucking catcher’s mitt in a couple of years, cuz cocaine’s no substitute for Oil of Olay, not to mention her push up bra with rubber inserts to make her look like she isn’t as flat chested as her fat ass is.

I am nice, now go fuck yourself, if you’re a chick, do it on camera, I am a dirtbag and have no standards.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

18

Apr

I am – Paris Hilton's Fake Tits of the Day

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The funny news of the day is that Perez Hilton was paid by Paris Hilton’s people to not talk shit about her. I think that’s called selling out, but that’s not really surprising considering this fucker was hated so much growing up that he was a gun short of a school shooting. instead he took the high road and through years of self-hatred ended up with a shitty site that everyone started reading, god fucking knows why, because it was pretty clear to me that motherfucker was too ugly to listen to, but on his quest for acceptance he took the first offer than came his way from a real life celebrity and that was to pay him to keep his mouth shut. He’s a fucking pussy, even though he doesn’t have one, he’s just rocking a man cunt that I am sure a whole lot of young big dicked fags have cum inside many times, while doing meth they bought with Hilton’s money.

Point of the story is that I’d probably take Paris’ money too, but only because I am poor but I’d still say she was a worthless washed up cunt subliminally. Censoring yourself for dollars is pretty fucking weak and since I hae no respect for motherfucker, I guess I couldn’t lose respect for him, but I did get to remind myself why I have no respect for him.

Either way here are some pictures of Paris Hilton that made their rounds yesterday, I guess it’s the only way her herpes ridden ass can stay in the public eye, because it seems like mainstream guys like big tits enough to ignore a busted, broken down haggared face with nothing to offer, but a weight gain, a muff gut and face that’s going to look like a fucking catcher’s mitt in a couple of years, cuz cocaine’s no substitute for Oil of Olay, not to mention her push up bra with rubber inserts to make her look like she isn’t as flat chested as her fat ass is.

I am nice, now go fuck yourself, if you’re a chick, do it on camera, I am a dirtbag and have no standards.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

13

Apr

I am – Paris Hilton Upskirt of the Day

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I was talking to someone today about how the older this bitch gets the more she looks like a dude. She always had the feet the size of a basketball player and I never really bothered taking it as a sign, but now it’s hard to miss, especially when she’s got more bulge in her panties than I do when I wear women’s clothing. I don’t do it because I get off to it, I do it because times are tough and my wife got fat leaving all kinds of panties that are in my size, so being a practical person, I figured why the fuck bother buying new shit when we had perfectly good ones lying around, not to mention they make me feel pretty and a guy is allowed to feel pretty sometimes by my rules.

Either way, here’s a Paris upskirt to get you through your day. Cuddles.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

11

Apr

I am – Paris Hilton and Her New Boyfriend of the Day

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I read somewhere that Paris Hilton sues websites that say she has herpes. I want to get sued by Paris Hilton because it will give me something to do with myself, a purpose. So here are pictures of Paris and some punk she gave herpes. It’s apparently defamation of character to say that, even though we’ve all seen pictures of her Valtrex Herpes medication and her get fucked without a condom on.

I know for a fact that bitch has herpes, I used to have a text message relationship with Stavros and he pretty much implied it when he accidently wrote me saying “Where you at?” thinking I was someone else. That’s one of my arguments if bitch comes after me, my other argument is that dude’s a total frat boy cunt proven by he’s lame t-shirt and stupid hair, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to get sued by the stars because I am a fucking loser.

Bonus – Paris Hilton Modeling Her Own Tacky Piece of Shit Clothing Line. Her Hips are Lookin’ Like She’s Been Eating Too Much Ice Cream With Fat Dudes…and Hips Don’t Lie.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

10

Apr

I am – Paris Hilton Eats Ice Cream With Fat Dude of the Day

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I always knew Paris liked to surround herself with ugly fat bitches like Nicole Richie before the drug induced eating disorder and Kim Kardashian before the sex tape scandal that she staged to break free from being Paris’ fashion accessory or sidekick, all to make herself look prettier and skinner by comparison.

It looks like she’s replaced those whores with some fat motherfucker who should probably be eating lettuce and water and not ice cream even if it is trendy fat free shit, if he wants to live to see 40. The picture is kinda fucking trippy and makes me think that I am watching a cartoon, when in reality I am looking at a shitty picture on my computer screen.

It reminds me of the Get Along Gang or some Fat Albert shit but it also reminds me of the time I snuck into Universal Studios and ended up on a phone the size of a car. The tour guide took a picture of me and a couple of kids I was walking around with because I thought looking like I was with the kids was a little less suspect than being alone… Either way, it made me look like a midget so maybe Paris is putting some of her hard earned sex tape money to good use by surrounding herself with oversized things to maintain her dainty look without all the effort of cocaine, starving herself and working out.

I don’t fucking know what I am talking about, I am drunk but I do know that I want some ice cream right now, but can’t keep it in the house or my wife will eat it all in one sitting. She’s bigger than the dude Paris is with, I guess the biggest joke would be if this is what her sex life has come to..digging for buried penis making every time they fuck a pirate treasure hunt and this is survivor, which it probably would be cuz once the dick is found there’s all kinds of risks like the suffocation of him getting on top or the bio hazard that is Paris’ cunt…I am stopping this right now.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

09

Apr

I am – Paris Hilton's Ass of the Day

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Paris Hilton still has an ass that she feels the world needs to see because I guess the buzz around her has died down the last couple of weeks and the best way for her to draw attention to herself is to expose herself. I don’t have anything wrong with that strategy because you gotta do what you can to get noticed and she’s just better at it than I am. If showing my limp tiny penis meant getting some fucking money, I’d do it, but no one cares enough about me because my parent’s don’t own a hotel chain and I don’t have tits. I mean I do have tits, but not the kind of tits you want to see. I only realized I was insecure about being a fat slob recently. I was walking down the street with a slice of pizza and a milkshake and realized that everyone was thinking to themselves “no wonder he’s fat”, the reason I know that, is because whenever I see a fat guy with a bag of food from a fast food joint, that’s what I think to myself. I am like a black dude who hates on other black dudes because he doesn’t realize he’s fat. I may have man tits that are bigger than Paris new tits, but less full than when she rocks a Wonderbra, but I will still laugh at fat people with the best of them. That’s just the kind of hypocrite I am. Cuddles.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

09

Apr

I am – Paris Hilton’s Ass of the Day

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Paris Hilton still has an ass that she feels the world needs to see because I guess the buzz around her has died down the last couple of weeks and the best way for her to draw attention to herself is to expose herself. I don’t have anything wrong with that strategy because you gotta do what you can to get noticed and she’s just better at it than I am. If showing my limp tiny penis meant getting some fucking money, I’d do it, but no one cares enough about me because my parent’s don’t own a hotel chain and I don’t have tits. I mean I do have tits, but not the kind of tits you want to see. I only realized I was insecure about being a fat slob recently. I was walking down the street with a slice of pizza and a milkshake and realized that everyone was thinking to themselves “no wonder he’s fat”, the reason I know that, is because whenever I see a fat guy with a bag of food from a fast food joint, that’s what I think to myself. I am like a black dude who hates on other black dudes because he doesn’t realize he’s fat. I may have man tits that are bigger than Paris new tits, but less full than when she rocks a Wonderbra, but I will still laugh at fat people with the best of them. That’s just the kind of hypocrite I am. Cuddles.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Paris Hilton Does Perez Hilton of the Day

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My 37th birthday is in a couple of weeks and I won’t have Paris Hilton at my party, mainly because I am not having a party. My 4 friends are too poor to go out and like chilling in parks and bus shelters, while my wife is too fucking fat to leave the apartment. I am not really complaining because I’d rather wipe my wife’s ass, which I do have to do often and hate every fucking second of it, then have to have an event that Paris goes out of her way to show her cunt face at.

I guess this post is a testament of where my priorities lie, as well as some confusion of why Paris’ tits are lookin’ so big even though I don’t really give a fuck about them. What I do give a fuck about is why Perez Hilton annoys the fuck out of me.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

20

Mar

I am – Paris Hilton With Cee-Lo's Dick of the Day

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I wasn’t on the computer all day, I was too busy doing nothing and realized that I missed some pretty important shit like this picture of Paris Hilton playing with some black dude’s dick. In reality, I really think you guys missed out on not having a new Day Dream, but I haven’t got any emails begging for more, I actually haven’t got any emails period, so I will just run with this Paris bullshit a day late.

The rumor is that it’s Cee Lo from Gnarls Barkey who she was supposed to be remixing or some shit, but I think it’s pretty obvious that it’s a total fucking fake. I feel like fake or not, I am one of the original celebrity sex blogs out there and by default I have to post this shit even if it is a day late and not real. Maybe what it really comes down to is that I am just a closet case who loves throwin eggplant cock on the mainpage of my fucking site to further turn off potential advertisers, readers and deepen the rut I’ve dug for myself as a banned in every office and school pornsite.

Point is, who gives a fuck who or what Paris is really sticking up in her. We’ve all seen this shit over and over again, she fucks dudes, she does drugs, she documents it all and has no shame, and when there is no shame in her actions there’s really no fun in posting this shit. I like to out people or being sluts, I don’t like to support them…otherwise I’d be writing on pornstars everyday….

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

20

Mar

I am – Paris Hilton With Cee-Lo’s Dick of the Day

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I wasn’t on the computer all day, I was too busy doing nothing and realized that I missed some pretty important shit like this picture of Paris Hilton playing with some black dude’s dick. In reality, I really think you guys missed out on not having a new Day Dream, but I haven’t got any emails begging for more, I actually haven’t got any emails period, so I will just run with this Paris bullshit a day late.

The rumor is that it’s Cee Lo from Gnarls Barkey who she was supposed to be remixing or some shit, but I think it’s pretty obvious that it’s a total fucking fake. I feel like fake or not, I am one of the original celebrity sex blogs out there and by default I have to post this shit even if it is a day late and not real. Maybe what it really comes down to is that I am just a closet case who loves throwin eggplant cock on the mainpage of my fucking site to further turn off potential advertisers, readers and deepen the rut I’ve dug for myself as a banned in every office and school pornsite.

Point is, who gives a fuck who or what Paris is really sticking up in her. We’ve all seen this shit over and over again, she fucks dudes, she does drugs, she documents it all and has no shame, and when there is no shame in her actions there’s really no fun in posting this shit. I like to out people or being sluts, I don’t like to support them…otherwise I’d be writing on pornstars everyday….

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

16

Mar

I am – Paris Hilton's Mysterious Stain of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton with some stain on her dress, it’s obviously not some dude’s nut on her, because nobody has a load like that, not even the kind of guy who would let this bitch with herpes at his dick. It’s just an easy joke waiting to happen and I’ll leave it up to the other blogs because today I have decided I like Paris because Paris fucks and not enough girls let random men up in them, at least not enough girls I know.

That said, I wish more girls were whores like Paris. I remember when I was about 18 before I found the right kind of women who actually liked to have guys cum on their faces, I was hanging with some prude religious bitch who I thought wouldn’t be a prude because all the fucking bible shit parents feed their tight little school girls usually means the girl’s got no limits like the one I met later in life who would only fuck me after I pulled an exorcist on her and shoved a Virgin Mary statue in her box. She’d always tell me about how her mother gave it to her on her communion and that shit was pretty fucking twisted but not as twisted as my dick after the prude Christian started dry fucking me with a pair of cords on. I am telling you that this girl had a high school, pants-on rule and those fucking brown cords were not coming off. I don’t know if you have ever had had a girl in brown cords grind your cock, but my shit was fucking ripped up for a month and while other people were getting blowjobs, I was tending to an infected cock…What I wouldn’t give to have those days back again…that’s how much my life sucks…

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

16

Mar

I am – Paris Hilton’s Mysterious Stain of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton with some stain on her dress, it’s obviously not some dude’s nut on her, because nobody has a load like that, not even the kind of guy who would let this bitch with herpes at his dick. It’s just an easy joke waiting to happen and I’ll leave it up to the other blogs because today I have decided I like Paris because Paris fucks and not enough girls let random men up in them, at least not enough girls I know.

That said, I wish more girls were whores like Paris. I remember when I was about 18 before I found the right kind of women who actually liked to have guys cum on their faces, I was hanging with some prude religious bitch who I thought wouldn’t be a prude because all the fucking bible shit parents feed their tight little school girls usually means the girl’s got no limits like the one I met later in life who would only fuck me after I pulled an exorcist on her and shoved a Virgin Mary statue in her box. She’d always tell me about how her mother gave it to her on her communion and that shit was pretty fucking twisted but not as twisted as my dick after the prude Christian started dry fucking me with a pair of cords on. I am telling you that this girl had a high school, pants-on rule and those fucking brown cords were not coming off. I don’t know if you have ever had had a girl in brown cords grind your cock, but my shit was fucking ripped up for a month and while other people were getting blowjobs, I was tending to an infected cock…What I wouldn’t give to have those days back again…that’s how much my life sucks…

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2006

12

Dec

I am – Random Message to Paris Hilton of the Day


I Am – Random Message To Paris Hilton Number 2 Of The Day – video powered by Metacafe

The joke in this feature is that we call Paris Hilton and pretend that we don’t know that it is her. Leave an awkward and embarrassing message to some other person so that when she checks her message she’s all like “what the fuck is this” provided she is smart enough to check her messages. I got this idea when I was text messaging her a few months ago, because I didn’t want to do the typical “Paris you have herpes” dis, I thought it would be funnier to confuse her. This is the phase 2 of that concept.

This is the first Random Message I sent her GO

I have no idea where my text message history with her is, but it’s on the site somewhere.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|stepEXCLUSIVE|stepSTALKER|Unsorted

2006

22

Feb

Paris Hilton's Underwear Pic of the Day

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Paris is showing her panties. She wears panties to keep her uterus from falling out. Like a person wears a sling when they dislocate their shoulders. Paris has a dislocated uterus and I would have no problem trying to mend it with my tongue, cuz I am like coke heads, I don’t think of the consequences when pussy is involved. Cool people everywhere have no care about their underwear, they just show the fuckin world. I like that trend. I remember in highschool, trying to get a bitches jeans off was the biggest fuckin deal. Now I can finger some stranger on the bus and she won’t even notice. The world is an exciting place.

Posted in:Panties|Paris Hilton|Unsorted