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Archive for the Paris Hilton Category

2009

20

Jan

Paris Hilton on the Beach of the Day

Here is something that pretty much amazes me. Fila, an athletic company has hired Paris Hilton to be a spokesperson for the brand. She’s not a model, she doesn’t have model appeal, she’s just a slut who does nothing, especially when it comes to fitness. Is the company’s mission statement to spread STDs, laziness and being a disgusting human being? Is their slogan, “Exploit your family name, release a sex tape and ride the wave that causes”. Are they telling us to fuck working out or taking part in sports unless that sport is sucking dick, huffing coke and hosting celebrity events?

Is Fila telling me to drive drunk, convince little girls that being a vapid stupid piece of shit the disgraces humanity and makes a mockery of Hollywood, fame and celebrity is a reputable goal in life? Are they trying to move away from being an sportswear company and moving into prostitution apparel? I don’t fucking know or care, but I do know that FILA is from South Korea and Korea loves tall blonde American sluts, so maybe it’s just the CEO’s way of getting into Paris Hilton’s pants…which is really the only thing that makes sense.

Posted in:Beach|Bikini Top|Paris Hilton

2009

15

Jan

Paris Hilton is Offensive of the Day

Paris Hilton makes me sick. These pictures of her in her pink Bentley I’ve written about before and it pretty much represents everything I hate about her. She is a tacky bitch who tries to fill the void that is everything about her by buying expensive things that mean absolutely nothing to her because she’s never had to work for anything in her life. She’s taken a nice car and ruined it, like she has to so many things, from teenage girls to Benji Madden not that he was ever a nice thing, but you know what I mean, because she’s a fucking devil. She’s fucking trash, she’s fucking tacky and when people are losing their houses, and so much bad is happening in the world that she could step out of her little princess life and actually do something to help, this kind of behavior is insulting. Let’s hope she drives that shit off a fucking ravine.

Posted in:Disgusting|Paris Hilton|Tacky|The Devil

2009

14

Jan

Paris Hilton’s BFF is Fucking Trash…Obviously…of the Day

I am not even going to bother researching this girl’s name because I have absolutely no fucking respect for her.

She won some contest to be Paris Hilton’s BFF, which is fucking ridiculous to begin with because Paris Hilton is an irrelevant, washed up rich girl with bad parents. I will argue that even if you’re aspiring to make it in the entertainment world and this is the only way you know how that is accessible, it’s not going to work for you because the whole concept of being anything that belongs to Paris Hilton is not only embarrassing, but degrading which means there’s no self respect, and despite no self respect usually leading to letting the right guy cum in her ass, if he promised to put her on TV when her contract with Paris Hilton is done, it’s still not going to get you work outside of porn and prostitution.

The fact that she has paparazzi pics of her is just another example that Hollywood is mocking us. They are producing shit and we are eating it up, because we all know that in reality, it takes years to develop a friendship you’d label BFF, not that you would because that would be fucking gay, so this is just another example of Paris Hilton playing some flakey bullshit that people seem to buy the fuck into, making her tons of money, and making me hate humanity, because that’s pretty much how she’s gone this far. It works for her….

I will argue that she knows exactly what she’s doing, and that this dumb ugly barbie shit is just a character people expect from her so the post isn’t about hating on Paris or her song and herpes filled lap dance, but it is about the poor confused irrelevant girl who has no concept of anything because to do this to yourself, you’d have to be a fucking retard, and I feel even retards wouldn’t do this to themselves and would rather be sitting in the corner hitting rocks together for hours on end.

The worst thing is that I know she is basking in the glory of following Paris around like her little fuckin’ pet. You know she’s bragging to her friends and going to sleep at night thinking she’s made it so far, even though it took zero fucking skill or intelligence to pull off. She’s just a fucking tool that Paris using to make more money with and after she’s thrown this moron to the fuckin’ curb when Season 2 of this garbage starts, I guess her eyes will finally open up, because spending a year hanging with Paris is bad enough, but trying to live down the title of Paris Hilton’s bitch without the money and trips to Australia and VIP entrance to clubs, is going to be a hell of a lot fucking worse….

I predict drug use and suicide, or a career in porn that leads to drug use and suicide.

Posted in:BFF|Paris Hilton|Trash|Underwear

2008

18

Dec

Paris Hilton’s Bff Gets Slammed of the Day

In totally uninteresting news, Paris Hilton’s New Bff got slammed in the car following Paris Hilton around. Sure, it’s not the way you’d expect anything remotely close to Paris Hilton to get slammed….but it’s still funny to see her get her leg slammed by the car door and seeing her hurt, because you’d figure competing to be Paris Hilton’s best friend would be a painful enough experience and leave you hanging from the attic rafters once you realize what you just won, even if getting paid to hang out with Paris is probably better than her previous job, but I know that no money in the world would convince me to spend time with Paris Hilton, unless that time was spend hurting her. I’m crazy like that and lying, because if she paid me 1,000 dollars a week, I’d fuckin’ be by her side every fucking time she called on me, defending her honor, but that’s only cuz I prostitute my integrity for drinking money pretty much all the time….

Posted in:BFF|Paris Hilton

2008

05

Dec

Paris Hilton Almost Died of the Day

Well unfortunately she didn’t die or almost die, but she is a rich kid and the kind of person who doesn’t leave the hosue for a week if she’s got a pimple. Unfortunately for the guys who have got herpes from her, she doesn’t take the same approach to pimples in her panties, but that’s just because the world doesn’t stare at them when in her party dress. What happened was she made a Grandiose Spoiled Cunt Who Thinks She’s Royalty exit from a club, as she does, without realizing she was walking into a brawl and she ended up getting pushed as some dude went nuts on a paparazzi, throwing punches because I assume he got sent an invoice for 50,000 dollars for posting their pictures like I did. Or maybe he got mad because the paparazzi got footage of him cheating on his girlfriend, like some guy who tried to fight me a few years ago while I was walking down the street video taping people and stopping on the slut he was with’s fake tits. Dude grabbed me by the throat, his group of 8 guys and 8 hookers circled around me and tried to break my camera, but we agreed to just delete the video because I wasn’t in the mood to get beat the fuck up by crazy guys I could tell like UFC who were drunk and jacked on coke and they weren’t in the mood to be made internet famous for their wives to figure out what the boys to when they go to Montreal for the weekend. The good news is that the video I deleted wasn’t even worth jerking off to so I guess I won in the end, at least that’s what I tell myself….as for Paris Hilton, it’s pretty unfortunate this wasn’t a gun fight and she just happened to get JFKed, not because I hate her, because I really don’t give a fuck, but because she’s pretty much better off dead.

Posted in:Fight|Paris Hilton

2008

02

Dec

Paris Hilton’s Push Up Bra Magic of the Day

The single Paris Hilton is really out on the prowl, you know with wearing latex every chance she gets, trying to convince us that she’s this outrageous fuck, but like every slut who dresses like she’s in some kind fetish club chained to a fucking wall getting gang raped, she’s just fronting for the laziness that we’ve all seen and know, because she’s the kind of girl who loves herself so much, that she thinks just being present while getting slammed is enough fucking effort in making the sex a good experience. The truth is, a lot of people have taken her on a ride, but just because she’s got herpes, doesn’t mean she knew what she was doing when getting it, like this dumb bitch I know who got drunk and let her first boyfriend go down on her when he had a coldsore, not realizing that coldsores are fucking herpes and can scab your shit up and was now tainted and still a fucking virgin and who didn’t get it by being strapped to a fucking wall getting gang raped, like a real sexual liberated deviant who earned her herpes would.

Either way, she’s really got some skills in making her tits look bigger than they actually are and I guess that should count for something, even if that something is trickery that pisses me the fuck off because I like knowing what I am getting myself into, even if it’s in my imagination, because I’d never fuck Paris Hilton, mainly because she’d never fuck me, but also because it’d end up being a story that inspires an episode of CSI, because I hate her and hate fucking usually ends up in a crime scene, and I’d just plead self defense, cuz that pussy is a biological weapon.

Posted in:cleavage|Paris Hilton|Push Up Bra|Tits

2008

26

Nov

Benji Madden Leaves a Party With a Guy of the Day

Benji Madden was seen leaving a club with his new fuck toy, who is some guy he put in a silly had to make look like his one true love, his brother. I mean it was kind of expected, since he’s been circle jerking with another man since the womb, even if they are twins and sex with each other isn’t considered homo, but masturbation, since they are the same fucking person. You know that whole if you had a clone of yourself would you let it suck your dick debate you’ve been having in you head since you first heard about Dolly the sheep, or whatever the fuck that cloned sheep was named.

So Benji isn’t talking much about Paris Hilton, their break up or any of that juicy shit that is her vaginal infections, because if you were famous and had the option to bang real chicks, you wouldn’t be down with admitting the dark time your judgment got the best of you because you were emotionally in a bad place since your one true love ran off with a troll and had a baby with her, you know leaving you forced to get with her best friend because it forces you to spend time together and it’s better to have something that keeps you tied to him, besides family functions or Good Charlotte reunion tours, you wouldn’t want people bringing it up or even admitting that it happened to yourself.

The truth is that Benji isn’t the first guy Paris has helped bring to his homosexual calling, she’s got those big feet, fake hair, lots of make-up and obnoxious outfits that would be encouraged at a gay club on tranny night, so I guess after fucking Paris the only place for you to go is Gay, especially since there’s a whole group of fags who aren’t scared of a little herpes, you know, since they have Aids.

Posted in:Benji Madden|Paris Hilton

2008

24

Nov

Paris Hilton is Out in Latex of the Day

I guess it’s only natural that when you have spent the last 10 years not using condoms, and suffering the burning, itching, bleeding consequences, that when you’re fresh out of an abusively controlling 9 month long relationship with a man who made you role play as his one true love, his twin brother, by dressing you up in mainstream skate gear and spending hours trying to replicate his tattoos, like a nerd painting his Starship Enterprise model, you’d try to over-compensate to not scare off potential dick.

I am not sure if she’s telling the world she is the kind of girl who will show you a good time, like a clip from a fetish movie, with whips and production value of a Cirque du Soliel event, in efforts to make people ignore what they’ve seen in her sex tape, or if she confused doctor’s order to use latex when in state of outbreak, but not quite getting it because she never got that “sex ed talk” and to her condoms are a foreign thing commoners use, like panties, so a stylish latex outfit with her name sequined in will just have to do and so will the tranny vibe she’s given off, because when dealing with Paris Hilton, that’s just the way it is…..

Posted in:Bondage|Latex|Paris Hilton

2008

20

Nov

Benji Madden’s Gone Gay Since his Breakup to Herpes of the Day

I heard that Benji and Paris broke up yesterday because Paris Hilton went off and fucked Stavros the other night and it was all over the news and Madden had no choice but to break up with her to keep his manhood, a manhood that Paris Hilton has murdered, or maybe it was because Benji was caught jerking off to pictures of him and his brother in concert, or some shit, but like his suburban tattoos, Paris left her mark on him for life and that mark is herpes.

I guess, dude was hoping to marry her because like any guy who gets a permanent STD off a chick, he throws in the towel nd doesn’t want to have to go back into the market and have to tell the new girls he gets with that he’s tainted and will not only tickle their pussies but also make their pussies itch for the rest of their lives, because it is embarrassing, not that any of his groupies would really turn him down, because the chance to get his herpes would a fucking dream to them and they’d take pictures of the scabs and frame them on their wall or post on their Myspace, like the girl I used to know who collected used untensils from a guy she was in love with but who wouldn’t love her, because she was ugly….

Either way, breaking free from that cunt is a fucking blessing and it’s nice to see that he’s moved onto new prospects, like going home late at night with Steve Aoki, but in his defense, bending Aoki’s skinny asian body over the couch isn’t all that gay, you know he does have long hair and all…but it is the gateway to accepting that Paris Hilton helped him realize his true love for cock, because after being with her rank pussy, there’s really no fucking way you’d ever see pussy the same way again…..or want to see pussy again.

I hate Paris Hilton, but texted Stavros this message, because someone sent me his phone number years ago:

Stealin’ Benji’s girl man? She’s got a lazy eye! Is Paris a better fuck than she is in the movie?

I was drunk and I am sure could have come up with something better, but I didn’t and he never answered me! What a waste of a celebrity or a rich kid who fuck’s celebrities phone number, if i was smarter, I’d call him and fuck with him like those French Radio hosts did to Palin, and not send a weak text message because I have nothing to say about Paris or Stavros but I do hate myself.

Posted in:Benji Madden|Break-up|Paris Hilton|Steve Aoki