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Archive for the Paris Hilton Category

2008

26

Nov

Benji Madden Leaves a Party With a Guy of the Day

5 Comments »

Benji Madden was seen leaving a club with his new fuck toy, who is some guy he put in a silly had to make look like his one true love, his brother. I mean it was kind of expected, since he’s been circle jerking with another man since the womb, even if they are twins and sex with each other isn’t considered homo, but masturbation, since they are the same fucking person. You know that whole if you had a clone of yourself would you let it suck your dick debate you’ve been having in you head since you first heard about Dolly the sheep, or whatever the fuck that cloned sheep was named.

So Benji isn’t talking much about Paris Hilton, their break up or any of that juicy shit that is her vaginal infections, because if you were famous and had the option to bang real chicks, you wouldn’t be down with admitting the dark time your judgment got the best of you because you were emotionally in a bad place since your one true love ran off with a troll and had a baby with her, you know leaving you forced to get with her best friend because it forces you to spend time together and it’s better to have something that keeps you tied to him, besides family functions or Good Charlotte reunion tours, you wouldn’t want people bringing it up or even admitting that it happened to yourself.

The truth is that Benji isn’t the first guy Paris has helped bring to his homosexual calling, she’s got those big feet, fake hair, lots of make-up and obnoxious outfits that would be encouraged at a gay club on tranny night, so I guess after fucking Paris the only place for you to go is Gay, especially since there’s a whole group of fags who aren’t scared of a little herpes, you know, since they have Aids.

Posted in:Benji Madden|Paris Hilton

2008

24

Nov

Paris Hilton is Out in Latex of the Day

1 Comment »

I guess it’s only natural that when you have spent the last 10 years not using condoms, and suffering the burning, itching, bleeding consequences, that when you’re fresh out of an abusively controlling 9 month long relationship with a man who made you role play as his one true love, his twin brother, by dressing you up in mainstream skate gear and spending hours trying to replicate his tattoos, like a nerd painting his Starship Enterprise model, you’d try to over-compensate to not scare off potential dick.

I am not sure if she’s telling the world she is the kind of girl who will show you a good time, like a clip from a fetish movie, with whips and production value of a Cirque du Soliel event, in efforts to make people ignore what they’ve seen in her sex tape, or if she confused doctor’s order to use latex when in state of outbreak, but not quite getting it because she never got that “sex ed talk” and to her condoms are a foreign thing commoners use, like panties, so a stylish latex outfit with her name sequined in will just have to do and so will the tranny vibe she’s given off, because when dealing with Paris Hilton, that’s just the way it is…..

Posted in:Bondage|Latex|Paris Hilton

2008

20

Nov

Benji Madden’s Gone Gay Since his Breakup to Herpes of the Day

1 Comment »

I heard that Benji and Paris broke up yesterday because Paris Hilton went off and fucked Stavros the other night and it was all over the news and Madden had no choice but to break up with her to keep his manhood, a manhood that Paris Hilton has murdered, or maybe it was because Benji was caught jerking off to pictures of him and his brother in concert, or some shit, but like his suburban tattoos, Paris left her mark on him for life and that mark is herpes.

I guess, dude was hoping to marry her because like any guy who gets a permanent STD off a chick, he throws in the towel nd doesn’t want to have to go back into the market and have to tell the new girls he gets with that he’s tainted and will not only tickle their pussies but also make their pussies itch for the rest of their lives, because it is embarrassing, not that any of his groupies would really turn him down, because the chance to get his herpes would a fucking dream to them and they’d take pictures of the scabs and frame them on their wall or post on their Myspace, like the girl I used to know who collected used untensils from a guy she was in love with but who wouldn’t love her, because she was ugly….

Either way, breaking free from that cunt is a fucking blessing and it’s nice to see that he’s moved onto new prospects, like going home late at night with Steve Aoki, but in his defense, bending Aoki’s skinny asian body over the couch isn’t all that gay, you know he does have long hair and all…but it is the gateway to accepting that Paris Hilton helped him realize his true love for cock, because after being with her rank pussy, there’s really no fucking way you’d ever see pussy the same way again…..or want to see pussy again.

I hate Paris Hilton, but texted Stavros this message, because someone sent me his phone number years ago:

Stealin’ Benji’s girl man? She’s got a lazy eye! Is Paris a better fuck than she is in the movie?

I was drunk and I am sure could have come up with something better, but I didn’t and he never answered me! What a waste of a celebrity or a rich kid who fuck’s celebrities phone number, if i was smarter, I’d call him and fuck with him like those French Radio hosts did to Palin, and not send a weak text message because I have nothing to say about Paris or Stavros but I do hate myself.

Posted in:Benji Madden|Break-up|Paris Hilton|Steve Aoki

2008

13

Nov

Paris Hilton Causes a Riot Outside Some Skin Care Spa of the Day

2 Comments »

I’ve just spent the last 30 minutes on the Kim Sommerville Clinic Paris Hilton was seen leaving, trying to figure out what she had done. I originally thought that it was an abortion clinic, or an Aids walk in center, but then I used google. After realizing that she wasn’t getting the herpes scraped off her cunt, or her tubes untied, and that this was a place of beauty, I started thinking that maybe she got some kind of skin peel, because like a common coke addicted whore, 10 years deep into being a coke addicted whore, your skin on your face starts to fall the fuck off. Then I thought maybe she got some hair removal, but figured she would have got that shit laser therapy earlier on in her coke addicted whore days, because when you are high and fucking all the guys you can find, you don’t have time to shave your legs or pussy. Then I thought maybe they were helping fix her lazy eye, you know with her wearing the sunglasses out of the place, and then I realized why the fuck am I trying to figure out why Paris Hilton was at a fucking day spa getting whatever treatment she got, because originally when I saw this video, I was wondering why the fuck people cared enough to riot outside the fucking place, but then got sucked into the fuckin’ hype that is her vagina. That’s kinda its trick.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Skin Care|Spa

2008

04

Nov

Paris Hilton in her American Flag Dress Cuz She’s Trendy of the Day

2 Comments »

McCain just said at some Election Day Rally today that Sarah Palin’s husband is ready for Washington because he is a champion snowmobiler, who once broke his arm with 250 miles of the race to go and still came in first. Is he fucking kidding? He also said it’s going to be a late night for him, because you know being 80 years old makes staying up past 8 pm a late night, I guess he’ll have to wait til tomorrow for the diner’s early bird special. The truth is this guy is a beast, I can’t handle writing a shitty website from a shitty couch and he’s out there campaigning and is twice my age and I think he’s likable, despite his shitty smear campaign and his repetitiveness of fluffy issues, and jokes discounting how serious issues are, it’s just that Palin idiot who will ruin him and I guess that works for those Obama communist supporters.

I really have no idea which way it is going to go, the polls are not accurate and I guess it’s anyone’s crown, and I just can’t wait for this bullshit to end, who cares if the election is making history, it’s dull.

On a side note, Paris Hilton didn’t vote in 2004 after wearing a Vote or Die shirt like she actually cared because she’s a vapid full of shit (cum) whore, and I heard she’s in the UK shooting her bullshit show and assume she won’t be voting today, despite all the coattail publicity stunt shit she did to promote herslef on FunnyorDie about the election and she is even wearing the American Flag, because being full of shit is her right and if she was in any other country, they’d execute her.

Here’s a quote representing her delusion about where she fits into the world and her impact on the vote all while not bother voting….

“It’s exciting to be involved in the biggest election in history. It encourages a lot of young voters to speak their voice and to vote. I was talking about issues and actually making sense but still playing with my image at the same time. Doing it in a ditzy way, but actually saying things I think can really help it along . . . Whoever becomes the next president has a lot on their hands. It’s going to be hard for anyone.�

I assume burning this thing wouldn’t be considered a crime because it’s in the World Health Organizations Center For Disease Control’s best interest….

She may have big cleavage that match her big feet but a face like that is one you’d see at a drag show and not on the Letterman show….these are some pics…before the paparazzi agencies come after me.

Posted in:Election 2008|Paris Hilton

2008

03

Nov

Paris Hilton’s Got Her Crazy Push-Up Bra Again of the Day

7 Comments »

Paris Hilton may be dull in the bedroom, dull in her everyday life, useless and not attractive. She may have no talent and she may be a genius playing stupid, but I like to think she’s actually a stupid person with a smart team of advisors who spin her stupidity to work in all of their favor to make them money like the tool that she is. She may be have sold her soul, intergrity, vagina to the devil and she may be shameless and totally irrelevant now. She is a has-been who’s milked us for as much as she’s going to get, and she may be better off dead, but damn, this girl knows how to make A-Cup tits look like C-Cup tits better than anyone I’ve seen in my everyday life.

I don’t know what straps and harnesses and gel filled cup she’s using, but it’s definitely something she can sell to seventh grade 12 year old girls, maybe it’s already in the works as her next product line and I am sure all those girls are as excited for it to hit as they are for their period to hit, because this will revolutionize girls being teased for being flat, feeling insecure for being flat, and will put an end to them having to wait until they are 15 to really get the male attention they are craving….I figure since Paris Hilton already made the youth vapid little sluts in training, she might as well give them the tools they need to really maximize it and that’s the end of this post.

Posted in:cleavage|Paris Hilton

2008

22

Oct

Perez Hilton On Paris Hilton’s TV Show and God Didn’t Strike Them Down of the Day

3 Comments »

So Perez Hilton is supposed to be some unbiased newsreporter, at least he’s made himself famous reporting “exclusive” celebrity stories as a third party outsider, who can’t get laid and who makes way too much fucking money by owning the celebrity gossip world because people his 15 year old girl commentary and I don’t mean commentary on their budding tits, but commentary that would make anyone thing someone with budding tits was writing it and it turns out he is Paris Hilton consultant on her show no one watches, or at least the show I hope no one watches because it looks like shit.

I don’t understand how this obese man has enough time to travel from event to event, do radio shows, jerk off on chat with gay boys he’s picked up because they want to be featured on his site, and film shitty segments on Paris Show. All they need is to throw David Blaine on this and it will be the worst thing to possible pollute your TV.

I hear they are working on a Sitcom called “When Aids Meets Herpes”.

I don’t know why I posted this, I blame just waking up and having it be the first thing I’ve seen today, and considering that little fact you should be happy I am posting at all, and not trying to drink to forget this garbage ever happened…..and that God and by God, I mean the Mexican PA I know who works the show, didn’t take advantage of the opportunity and accidentally drop a lighting fixture to maybe accidentally catch the set on fire so they both go down in a DJ AM caliber blaze of annoying. Riding the world of 2 diseases that are far worse than any actual disease.

Ok.

Now It’s time to get posting the serious stuff. Stay tuned. That is if this didn’t make you kill yourself…

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Perez Hilton

2008

01

Oct

Paris Hilton’s Shit Song of the Day

5 Comments »

Paris Hilton has a new song. Someone emailed it to me. I assume it is the theme to her shitty new show that I will never watch, becasue the only BFF Paris derserves is a punch to her cunt. I don’t know if that made sense, but it doesn’t have to. Paris should stick to what she’s good at, which is having no shame, getting naked on camera and annoying the fuck out of the rest of the world for having a total disregard and no respect for pretty much anyone who doesn’t have a trust fund.

Either way, here’s a little music video that I put together for the song.

Posted in:New Song|Paris Hilton

2008

29

Sep

I was Right About the Good Charlotte Sisters of the Day

2 Comments »

I have been saying that these two have been fucking since they were in the womb and dating girls is just a distraction from the fact that they can’t be together, it just isn’t socially acceptable. I also defended them by saying they aren’t fags for wanting each other’s dicks, because they are identical twins, so it’s like masturbation, but the truth is that masturbation or not, they just can’t get married to each other like they want to and sometimes that truth too hard to accept that they slip up in public and here is the picture. But in their defense, if you were the idiots who were dating Paris and Nicole…a pile of dog shit would start to look like a good fuck.

Here is one of the Good Charlotte Sisters out with Paris Hilton and someone who has Aids, who I guess has decided to start showing her bird face again, but is wearing her Center for Disease control issued condom pants so that she doesn’t spread her shitty vagina sauce all over public places like it was peanut butter and the world was one giant piece of toast. You know like chairs in restaurants, public washrooms and anything else her vagina could possibly touch as it hangs out of whatever pantyless outfit she’s wearing.

Posted in:Benji Madden|Joel Madden|Paris Hilton

2008

26

Sep

Paris Hilton’s Grabbing Some Vagina of the Day

3 Comments »

This lesbian movement is getting out of han. Pairs is copying Lohan’s flow by getting with Ronson’s twin sister, oh, right, that’s not a Ronson that’s one of the Good Charlotte Twins, but since they are both androngynist identity crisis try hards, I figure they are pretty much the same fucking thing and they both do a good job ruining the idea that twins fuck each other because it is like masturbating fantasy that has carried me through the hard times because I am weird.

Here she is trying to find his penis because it isn’t decided whether he has one or not and I am not really ready to find out because seeing penis isn’t really my thing, especially post Paris Hilton vagina penis because I hate being reminded what herpes looks like, not because Paris Hilton herpes jokes are old and tired like her vagina, but because it is the truth and sometimes I’m just not down for the truth.

Posted in:Genital Grab|Good Charlotte|Paris Hilton