Latex Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2010

24

Feb

Olivia WIlde’s Fat Ass in Latex Gloves of the Day

If you’re like me you love when a female doctor puts on her latex glove when you’ve gone in for a routine check up cuz you ass has been bleeding for 3 weeks and you think you are either dying or dead, because it means “FULL CHECK UP” and as uncomfortable as getting two fingers in my ass on a cold doctor’s table after bleeding out of my ass for 3 weeks is, I’m just happy the doctor’s got a pussy, cuz it is less homo if I get hard during the process, which I don’t, but also nice to get female attention from someone other than a 300 pound white trash wife, but mainly because women have easier fingers to handle…..

I guess other good memories that involve latex gloves is when you got with that germaphobe hooker who only gave handjobs with latex gloves and blowjobs with condoms on the day you realized that the Latex gloves were previously used on other clients giving you scabies that took 6 months to get rid of…..or the time you realized your college girlfriend had a latex allergy cuz her pussy swelled the fuck up and you jumped at the chance to raw dog her accidentally getting her pregnant before realizing she was some Christian who didn’t believe in abortion, forcing you to move and chance your name so that they can never come after you for child support or to call you dad…..

So we should thank Olivia Wilde, despite not knowing who she is, for bringing back all the great memories we’ve had with surgical gloves, latex, latex allergies and most important illegitimate children.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Gloves|Latex|Olivia Wilde

2009

29

Oct

Pamela Anderson is Too Old For Her Short Whore Outfit of the Day

6 Comments »

I am not sure if constipation is something older women have to deal with when they are going thru menopause, because the whole menopause thing, or what I like to call a woman’s transformation from woman to man, is not something I really like, except when having sex with older women who would otherwise be the needy bitch you fear flips the used condom inside out to get pregnant with your baby, because they can’t get pregnant anymore.

And I am not sure if this stomach issue has something to do with her hepatitis or her uterus on some kind of revolt from all the dirty cock it’s had to taste.

I am sure that Pam Anderson is too old to be dressin’ sexy. It’s really at the point of sad and desperate and sure sad and desperate women are the key to a lot of our sex lives, it’s kinda depressing to see, provided you aren’t already at rock bottom.

It is time for her to hang up her weathered labia and trashy lingerie credit card to focus on her kids and normal shit 45 year old women deal with…

And now for a costume change…here are some more pics of Pam Anderson showing off her Gunt, also known as her FUPA, also known as her Menopausal Panty Pillow, also known as her muff gut, also knows as her too old to be eating out…..and too old to be wearing tight clothes!

Pics via PacificCoastNews and Pics via Fame

Posted in:Latex|Pamela Anderson|Short Dress|Slut

2009

28

Sep

Kelly Brook Slutting Out for Heels that Heal of the Day

3 Comments »

I am a fan of charities that pressure women to get naked or half naked for the cause in efforts to generate buzz. The ones that real strike a chord with bitches and makes them think they are heartless cunts if they don’t get naked for the cause. At least that’s what the pervert who runs the shit tells them, when in reality he’s just some foot festishist who jerks off to the pictures too racy to make the campaign and pulls a huge salary off his “Not for Profit Organization” cuz everyone knows charities are a fucking money makin’ scam that works because veryone is too nice to question their intentions or target them as being con artists and the people behind charities are usually smart enough to keep the books clean as to not ruin a good thing they have running, like having the power to get celebrities in lingerie.

The highlight of this Kelly Brook campaign is that she brags about being a gold diggin’ whore who dates a rugby player who pays her for sex with expensive shoes, I mean besides the latex thigh highs…..

Posted in:Heels that Heal|Kelly Brook|Latex

2008

23

Dec

Pussycat Dolls Doing a Wholesome Christmas Performance for the Kids of the Day

3 Comments »

The Pussycat Dolls brought in the Christmas cheer, by dressing up in latex and corsets and showing off their tits and asses as they danced around simulating sex. Sure that may not being a conventional Christmas for you, but you’re probably the kind of motherfucker who goes home for the holidays to re-connect with family and friends and relive your beautiful little picture perfect childhood, and not the kind of guy who goes to the strip club for lap dances, because without the strippers in your life, you’ve got no one else, because you are all alone and no one called you to invite you to spend the holidays with them and you have no choice but to go the only place you know someone will badly pretend to like you and not your wallet so that you can sit down with them for a nice Turkey Dinner and gift exchange for 10 dollars a dance in the booth, with contact. Tis the fuckin’ season for suicide… ya know.

Posted in:Christmas|Latex|Performance|Pussycat Dolls

2008

09

Dec

Nicole Scherzinger’s Got Some Rubber Pants to Match Her Rubber Tits of the Day

No Comments »

Nothing says Christmas Spirit like throwing some Christmas themed event and booking the Pussycat Dolls to perfom in their PVC outfits that you wouldn’t see at a fucking strip club, mainly because strippers can’t afford these expensive constumes, but also because the shit is a pain in the ass to peel off and the only thing it’s really good for is festering some interesting rancid smells from a sweaty pussy in a fabric that doesn’t breathe, and I know that’s been on the top of my Christmas list for years, tis the fucking season…..

Posted in:Latex|Nicole Scherzinger|PVC|Tits

2008

24

Nov

Paris Hilton is Out in Latex of the Day

1 Comment »

I guess it’s only natural that when you have spent the last 10 years not using condoms, and suffering the burning, itching, bleeding consequences, that when you’re fresh out of an abusively controlling 9 month long relationship with a man who made you role play as his one true love, his twin brother, by dressing you up in mainstream skate gear and spending hours trying to replicate his tattoos, like a nerd painting his Starship Enterprise model, you’d try to over-compensate to not scare off potential dick.

I am not sure if she’s telling the world she is the kind of girl who will show you a good time, like a clip from a fetish movie, with whips and production value of a Cirque du Soliel event, in efforts to make people ignore what they’ve seen in her sex tape, or if she confused doctor’s order to use latex when in state of outbreak, but not quite getting it because she never got that “sex ed talk” and to her condoms are a foreign thing commoners use, like panties, so a stylish latex outfit with her name sequined in will just have to do and so will the tranny vibe she’s given off, because when dealing with Paris Hilton, that’s just the way it is…..

Posted in:Bondage|Latex|Paris Hilton

2008

28

Aug

Emmy Rossum has a New Blackberry of the Day

6 Comments »

I don’t know who Emmy Rossum is but I do know she dresses pretty inappropriate to Blackberry launch parties. Bitch is rockin’ some kind of dominatrix outfit you’d expect to see on Rihanna when performing or in the underground clubs I’ve always wanted to frequent but always get turned away at the door because I am alone and not in a pair of chaps. I mean it may be the tamest latex outfit I’ve seen, but like my pervert friend who always talks about this 300 dollar PVC outfit he bought a girlfriend a few years ago and who he has since then passed on to every girl he’s fucked because he can’t cum unless he gets to see it drip of the girl he is with’s slicked up bodysuit, it’s good enough to generate some dirty thoughts and that makes it good enough for me, which isn’t saying much considering I can turn a grandmother grocery shopping into a sexual experience, like last week when I almost got hard over a 90 year old with a walker because I liked the way it made her stick her ass out like she wanted it. I’m not necessarily normal though, and I guess Emmy Rossum is trying to break free from being labeled normal in this small step towards sluttiness that I approve.

If you’re wondering where people go after running over kids while talking on their cellphones, it turns out they hit up the Blackberry launch, because it’s really only normal for murders to always keep their murder weapons up to date. Like when a hunter buys a special edition just released gun or some shit, only the running over kids version…

Posted in:Blackberry|Emmy Rossum|Latex

2007

29

May

I am – Rihanna Performs in a Sexy Latex Outfit of the Day

1 Comment »

If I knew concerts were like stripclubs, I would have saved my lap dance budget for tickets to this show. Rhianna is looking pretty fucking tight bodied in this getup and the fact that I can’t grab her tits for 10 dollars is the reason why I will never bite into my lap dance budget….

I will say that everyone gives her a hard time for having a big forehead and lookin’ like an alien and shit, but when a girl dresses like this, her forehead is probably the last thing I am looking at. I am the kind of guy who girls love because I never look them in the eyes when I talk to them, I go straight for the tits because I figure there is reason to pretend I care what they are saying and I like to stick to the point of our conversation…I guess that’s why I don’t have any girl friends.

I remember a time before being married when I would try to get laid. I was never good at romance. I was the kind of guy who would just try to grab at her box when I had an opening or when she was least expecting it, mainly because if a girl wanted my dick, I’d expect her to just grab at it to give me the green light. That move never really worked and is probably why I always stuck to hookers, they were a lot less work and I didn’t have to tell them what they wanted to hear. All I had to do was give them the money they wanted and they’d let me grab at them as much as my money allowed for.

Enough of my stupid story of how I have shitty game, look at these pics of Rhianna giving me something I want and that’s a mainstream latex show for all the young girls who will be taking her lead in 5 to 10 years making the world a happier fucking place….

Archive for the Latex Category