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Archive for the Girlfriend Category

2009

02

Dec

Luisana Lopilato is Michael Buble’s Import Girlfriend of the Day

Her name is Luisana Lopilato . She is some model from Argenitina. He met her on set of his last music video. I am sure it was a real hard pick-up on his part… a real serious hustle to get in her pants on his part, you know being Michael Buble, the star of his music video that she was jumping up and down weeks before shooting because she got booked on the job to begin with, pretty much having all the groundwork done for him before ever showing up on set….

You see, bitches love money, celebrity and power and when bitch is an immigrant with a dream and he’s a multi-platinum selling artist no one really cares about, but who makes huge fucking money and can offer her the life she always wanted, without having to do much work other than a few blowjobs to completion every so often, which she doesn’t mind, cuz sucking dick is something she’s into….and he gets to fuck some seriously hot piece of ass…it all works out in the end….for everyone except us.

Here are some pictures of some of her work….

Here She is in a School Girl Strip…..

Posted in:Girlfriend|Luisana Lopilato|Michael Buble

2009

24

Sep

Kevin Federline’s New Girlfriend Legs of the Day

Her name is Victoria Prince and her claim to fame is that she is dating Kevin Federline and I wonder how that shit happened. I mean we all know the story of the man with the potent sperm and ability to get anyone pregnant, that he practiced on some black chick before perfecting on Britney, you know cuz when he was in there he didn’t want to fuck up the lottery ticket god had given him and his piece of trash self.

Was she a Britney fan and wanted all things Britney? You know that everytime his dick slides in her she hears the faint sounds of “hit me baby one more time” playing back in her head.

Was she swept up my K-Fed’s charm that landed him the biggest popstar in the world, and did she believe that he would amount to something huge in the music industry since he already mastered being huge filling out his XXXL t-shirt. Hoping that K-Fed would make her famous….

I guess what we do know for sure is that she will end up fat, pregnant and alone and the weridest thing in all this is that I just wrote a post about this bullshit.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Girlfriend|Kevin Federline|Legs

2009

31

Mar

DJ AM and His American Apparel Model Girlfriend Celebrate his Birthday of the Day

It was DJ AM’s birthday the other day and he went out for dinner with his girlfriend, American Apparel model I make fun of, because the only thing my wife ever modeled was a shit stained mattress for some art project I did when I took an adult ed course for my Welfare program. So everyone go wish him a happy birthday, I hit him up on Twitter, just to say “hey man, let’s laugh about all that mean shit I say about you, cuz it’s just jokes, and happy birthday, send me nudes of Jessica Stam, Cuz I know you have them”, and he just ignored me and I take that shit personal. I was trying to reach out, make good and use his birthday as a jump-off to a long lasting friendship, and he just shunned me and that would hurt if I had emotions.

I know, there’s no pussy in this post, but I am just wakin’ up and working on it. Relax you fucking pigs.

Posted in:Birthday|DJ AM|Girlfriend

2009

16

Mar

Russell Simmons and His Girlfriend Playin’ On the Beach of the Day

So very rich Russell Simmons was spending some time kickin’ it in Miami and he brought out some new girlfriend, who I am sure is dating him for his cute his adult lisp and his Earthworm Jim face and not becuase he’s got a pile of money.

They were doing some Yoga on the beach, actually he was doing Yoga, she’s just a lazy cunt who wallet fucks to get everything she wants, because why work or put effort into anything, when you can just give up your pussy for personal gain, it’s a hell of a lot easier.

Not to sound gay or anything, but based on the positions Russell’s in, I gotta get myself in a Yoga class, to ideally see chicks doing this because it’s like fucking porn….no wonder Yoga’s taking over the motherfuckin’ world.

Posted in:Beach|Girlfriend|Russell Simmons

2009

25

Feb

Michael Phelps’ Montreal Girlfriend of the Day

I was eating a sandwich the other day and overheard the staff of the sandwich place talking about how Michael Phelps was there over the weekend with some local chick he’s dating. I started casually asking some people I know about it, not because I care, but because I wanted to know who would see past that dude’s mangled face for the American hero with fish-like stamina he is, because I had a feeling pretty much any girl would see past his mangled face to get with America’s boy wonder.

Some dude I know, claims he knows the girl, he told me they met in Florida but didn’t know if they were serious or not, he didn’t even know if they were fucking or not, but as far as I’m concerned, if you’re flying into Montreal during the winter for a girl, when you have the option of pretty much every girl out there, shit’s probably pretty serious or at least pretty fuckin’ good.

Here are some pictures that may be of her, that are ripped off her Facebook. I don’t even know her name, so they really could be anyone, or at least someone who worked her way into hanging with T.I., Young Jeezy, and Phelps. Probably making it the best vacation ever!

Let’s just hope she doesn’t get soft and trust him too much. You know, believe the lies he tells her about being the one and their future life of luxury, you know blinding her from getting some some artistic nudes of him that she can use for blackmail down the road after he cheats on her, because you never let a hope and fantasy of what you wish will happen, make you turn your back on opportunity that presents itself today. At least that’s why my grandmother always told me along with other life lessons like “never suck dick for free” and “condoms are for pussies” and most importantly…I never had a grandmother, but you get what I’m saying. Right?

Posted in:Girlfriend|Michael Phelps

2009

23

Feb

John Legend’s Girlfriend is Worth Fucking of the Day

I want to fuck John Legend’s girlfriend. I don’t know who she is. She looks Asian, but she may be some kind of mix breed, because she’s more brown than yellow, but none of that matters, I’ll let her pick my rice any day, and by pick my rice I do mean jerk me off, because my dick’s about that big…..It’s sad, but I’ve come to terms with it.

Either way, someone ID this bitch.

Posted in:Girlfriend|John Legend

2009

11

Feb

Zach Braff Has a Girlfriend with 12 Year Old Lookin Tits of the Day

I used to know a socially awkward kid I was forced to work with who was doing some sort of interning at some shitty company I worked for and all this dude would talk about was Zach Braff. He was so hard for this motherfucker, because I guess he related to his weak chin and pathetic demeanor.

One night I bumped into him on the street and he was heading to a Zach Braff movie on opening night, I had nothing better to do so went. Now if this wasn’t some masturbatory bullshit, I don’t fucking know what it was. It was some emo Jewish neurotic shit that made me want to kill myself just being there, all while this ugly motherfucker got some skinny brunette to want to fuck him, that was totally unbelievable and written by him to fill his perversions.

I think the guy I worked with started crying and left the place glowing like he just lost his virginity, even though we all know he didn’t.

A few months later, I heard that Braff was in Montreal filming that Rachel Bilson movie and the dude I worked with finally got to meet him and got his autograph before getting arrested for being parked outside his hotel for 7 days.

Either way, this is the girl that’s fucking him in a see through, showing off her non existent tits.

Posted in:Girlfriend|See Through|Zach Braff

2009

21

Jan

DJ AM’s New Girlfriend of the Day

DJ AM, Hayley Wood, Girlfriend
DJ AM’s New Girlfriend of the Day

If you are wondering who Gayer Than Bicycle Shorts and richer than he should be DJ AM is fucking now that he and Mandy Moore have broken up, and I know you are, it’s some American Apparel model named Hayley Wood.

I emailed Dov Charney, the guy behind American Apparel to tell me stories about this whore, because I know from some of the girls who have modeled for him for free over the years, that he normally gets them naked, sometimes makes them use sex toys and often times jerks off with them. I was looking for some exclusive Hayley Wood smut and stories, because I figure if DJ AM gets to see her pussy, so should we. He didn’t answer me.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think she’s worth bringing home to your parents, I don’t even think she’s worth dating or admitting to your friends that you know her, but she’s definitely the kind of hipster girl who is so hungry to get ahead and seen, that you could easily make her take it up the ass for promises of a legitmate career or some recognition. All so that she can get out of the retail world and into the celebrity world she’s tried so hard to get into…so hard that she’s even lowered herself to fuck DJ AM and that is some fucked up shit.

If you’re wondering why I am writing about DJ AM, it is because I have a long running hatred for this cocksucker even though he’s a fucking joke he can’t seem to take one.

Here are some straight from Facebook pics….

If you want to see this slut in American Apparel glory, follow this link and scroll down until you find “Hayley”. Their shit is ghetto and you can’t zoom in to see the real goods, but it’s good enough for you to get the idea of what’s going on…
GO

If you want to add her to myspace and send her hate mail, I assume this is her profile, I mean unless some kind of loser faked a nobody’s myspace…
GO

Posted in:DJ AM|Girlfriend|Hayley Wood

2009

20

Jan

Paul Walker and His Girlfriend Do Hawaii of the Day

I don’t really know much about Paul Walker other than every girl I have ever met has wanted to fuck him, I am talking every girl, even toothless inuit prostitutes have told me how they want me to fuck them fast and furious, but it turns out that he wasn’t nice enough to bring them with him to Hawaii, but instead brought this whore, who all you catty bitches can start hating for being skinnier than you, and rocking the dick every night that you want to rock, but if this guy’s like me, he’s probably already bored of her pussy and lookin’ out for someone good to cheat on her with, maybe one who’s hot ass doesn’t look like it lost a fencing match to stretch marks, and that should bring you hope on this historic day for America.

Posted in:Bikini|Girlfriend|Paul Walker

2009

15

Jan

Elijah Wood’s Girlfriend of the Day

If you’re wondering who Elijah Wood is fucking, and I know you are, this is her. I love the picture of her patting him on the back like a big brother would after losing the game. I wonder if this kind of thing happens when her pre-mature ejaculates during sex, or when he can’t get it up because his troll ass drank one too many drinks for his little liver to process, you know where she get’s up and pats him on the back, gives him a simulated punch to the jaw and re-assures him that there will always be a next time and that he tried his best and that’s all that matters buddy. If you know what I mean….

Posted in:Elijah Wood|Girlfriend

2009

12

Jan

Brody Jenner and His Slut Girlfriend of the Day

Brody Jenner is dating some porn looking bitch, at least that’s what I think she is based on her shitty whore outfit that she looks like she may have fought a stripper in the sex shop on boxing day for. I guess dating a porn looking bitch is the way to go when force the world in on his deep dark secret, and that secret is that he wraps he belt around his neck while jerking off to a pair of Spencer Pratt’s dirty underwear. Either way, she probably gives good head and when you’re scared of vagina, head is a good thing, cuz you can always imagine it’s Spencer’s Gag Reflex spitting back up on you.

Posted in:Brody Jenner|Girlfriend|Slut

2008

09

Oct

Randy Spelling and His Dog of a Girlfriend in a Bikini of the Day

Every time I have dreams about being a multi-millionaires son, who flies to exclusive events on a private jet and who dines in the best restaurants in the world, stays in the best hotels in the world, visits the most beautiful places in the world. The girls by my side and in my bed never look like the slob that’s with Randy Spelling, Tori Spelling’s brother, in these pictures. It’s safe to say that either motherfucker is one of those fucked up rich kids with major emotional issues and who can’t really live a normal life, because of his fucked up upbringing, leading to hot girls to stay the fuck away from him for fear he’ll have another one of his episodes, or he’s gay, because the only person who can love something that looks like this, is someone who is scared of admitting his sexuality and who can see past her disgustingness to really embrace the beautiful person she in on the inside, while straight dudes just go for the tits and pussy.

Posted in:Fat|Girlfriend|Randy Spelling

2008

30

Jun

Ronaldo’s Girlfriend/Fiance/Model/Front in a Bikini of the Day

Thank fucking god the Euro shit is over, now honking immigrants with flags on their cars can be put to fucking rest and I can go about my daily activities of doing nothing without getting annoyed by honking immigrants.

Here are some pictures of soccer prodigy Ronaldo and his model fiance, or what I call his front to convince the world he’s no homo by hanging out with her, when in reality he’s probably talking about crushes he has on his team and which of his guy friends have the hottest cocks from the locker room. Sure it may not be a fact that he’s a poofter, but his shorts come as pretty strong evidence, and I know that when the picture of him taking a piss was taken, he was standing there wishing that his hand was on someone elses cock and not on his. I guess life is unfair even to those who seem like they’ve got everything.

Either way, her Nereida Gallardo and she is hot….

In Black:

In Gold:

Posted in:Bikini|Girlfriend|Ronaldo

2008

03

Apr

Hulk Hogan’s New Pussy of the Day

Tanning expert Hulk Hogan has a pretty good deal. He’s sitting on a fat bank account while all the other trash from Tampa who he grew up with are collecting welfare checks or working shitty jobs to pay for their shitty trailer park homes. Now he decided to take the attention away from his rich brat of a son’s almost murderous car accident by staging a divorce from his useless ex-stripper lookin wife, who pretty much let him do whatever he wanted before the accident because she doesn’t want to lose that meal ticket. But now he gets to do it in public and that makes fucking new pussy all the more exciting.

Anyway, in making their story more believable he’s gone out and got himself a girlfriend who looks like she could be his illegitimate daughter with another stripper he spent his first wrestling check on 30 years ago, which would explain why she’s so fuckin’ clingy. It’s one of those “daddy where were you all my life, you asshole, but I am so happy to have you back in it, because mommy fucked so many dudes during that period of her life that we never knew we’d track him down, but sure glad we did because it turns out you have lots of money you’ll be forced to leave to me cuz of genetics” situation, only this time instead of the usual giving her the last 30 years of birthday and christmas gifts that most dads who get tracked down with paternity test technology, he’s giving her his cock.

She’s ugly, has fake tits and looks like an older version of his daughter and younger version of his wife, making Hulk feel like he’s living the good life he could only dream of back when he was growing up wrestling alligators at Busch Gardens..before he was the Hulkster….

Posted in:Bikini|Girlfriend|Hulk Hogan

2008

31

Mar

Hulk Hogan’s Dating His Daughter’s Twin of the Day

It’s pretty clear that Hulk Hogan likes a big woman who can handle being thrown around in the bedroom like the men he used to throw around in the ring. He also seems to like fake blonde hair, fake tits and a fake tan. It seems like his wife fit that description, then he bred his daughter to look that way and now the girl he is fucking as a distraction from his son being a murderer looks that way too.

Now, I have heard of girls dating dudes who remind them of their dads, or girls who get off to dudes who look kinda like their brothers and I’ve always been pretty uncomfortable with that but I figure when you’re from Florida trailer parks it’s pretty much par for the course, not to mention every piece of trash who works in the dinner on the interstate or at the local strip club fits the criteria so I guess it’s just some kind of creepy coincidence.

Either way, here are some pictures of Hulk and his girlfriend who looks like a younger version of his wife and an older version of his daughter and the real sad thing about the pictures is that her dick is bigger than yours.

Posted in:Brooke Hogan|Girlfriend|Hulk Hogan