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Archive for the Kate Upton Category

2017

20

Sep

Late Upton Models Without Her Tits of the Day

Kate Upton in a black gown

Kate Upton was this cocky little / massive rich twat who bought a career because at 18 she had monster tits and I guess figured she could monetize the monster tits – as the rest of her weren’t monster sized yet – and she had the resources to get to the top of titty modeling – at least the top to basic thinking half retard girls – Sports Illustrated – who I assume are easy to get to as they are slowly becoming irrelevant – and you’ve got tits and viral appeal..you know clickbait….instead of working a rub and tug where she belongs..

Well, she had a few years – probably 5 years of real relevance thanks to the media investing into content based on her since it got clicks…making her think she could finally start eating again…just as her metabolism was slowing down and her genetics wanted her gut to catch up to the monster tits…you know estrogen…

Most of those years were her as a fat chick, pretending to not be a fat chick, booking non-fat chick jobs, while being a fat chick, you know modeling shoots where she’d get on set and all the same sizes of clothing were forced to be size 14…a fucking monster…but everyone turned a blind eye to it, no one told her she was fat, she went through life clueless about how disgusting she was, until she reached a breaking point, when no one wanted her anymore, because she was too broad backed to fit in the frame of the image…they’d have her 1/2 a mile away posing just to get both shoulders in the shot…SHE EVEN GOT INTO MOVIES…based on big tits..what a world we live in…

So she got in shape, spent a couple of years getting in shape and I guess this brand is using her in a campaign like she matters, probably for some clickbait, without her tits, because she’s still trying to polarize that she’s not a fat chick…CLEVER.

YOU Can lose the gunt, but you’ll always have the gunt to me…

I don’t understand the Re-Brand-but it happened…so sophisticated and older…like a granny who will always be a shameless look at my titties whore to me…so regal…like American Royalty…the heiress of WHIRLPOOL APPLIANCES…what’s up you lil toaster over…

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2017

24

Aug

Alexandra Daddario in a Swimsuit for the Layover of the Day

Some garbage movie called The Layover is coming out soon, and the promo pic they used to promote Alexandra Daddario and her big tits is a bikini shot with her bikini jacked up her pussy, and I guess that is hot enough…except when you look at her at the premiere with Kate Upton, her co-star….

The girls in the movie, Kate Upton and Alexandra Daddario at the premiere looking like fucking school buses, or middle aged moms on their way to a friend’s second marriage….because her husband left her for the babysitter.

NEITHER look hot and you can’t look at these pics and think “UGHHH SO HOT”….

You can however look at both of them half naked and think…”big tits i want to suffocate on”…because the thing about fat, thick, big girls..is that I love the idea of suffocating on their tits…

Here’s Kate Upton doing fitness..

Posted in:Alexandra Daddario|Kate Upton|SFW

2017

09

Aug

Kate Upton Pretends to be in Shape in Shape of the Day

Kate Upton is in SHAPE Magazine, but not necessarily in SHAPE, even though she’s been working out like a crazy person with an Athlete person to try to be as fit looking as possible, because when you have tits like that, you’re predisposed to be a fat chick, and it’s a constant battle to maintain the tits that are also the only thing people care about and a figure that’s still decent to look at and not broad, boxy, thick, or sloppy…something she hasn’t managed too well in the past, despite being a Swimsuit model, but that I guess is trying to polarize because if you’re in SHAPE magazine, you’re programming people to assume that means you’re in SHAPE…but it doesn’t…

She does look better than she has in the past, so it’s nice to see a girl keep up the tits…so athletic..you can tell cuz there’s a basketball in the pic.

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2017

29

Jun

Kate Upton’s Big Titties in a Photoshoot of the Day

Kate Upton is taking on some fashion shoots, you know more high concept fashion editorial shit to show the world how diverse a model she is, and that she’s not jusst some sloppy titty bikini model the average American man loves as she spills over her bikini top setting off warning signs that she is in fact a fat chick in training…to not be a fat chick yet still a fat chick because her body is a fucking wreck if she doesn’t train…

She went viral, she go so fucking popular, all for having massive tits, and that is a good reminder to all girls out there that if you have small tits, you are nothing. You don’t matter. No one wants you. You don’t stand a chance….all the money out there for marketing will be sent to the girl with the big tits….

Well, she’s trying to get her name back out there now that she works out and the whole thing is magical..only because of her sloppy tits spilling out of her shirt…right…

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2017

15

May

Kate Upton Hard Nipples of the Day

I haven’t jerked off to hard nipples in a white t-shirt since High School gym class, when I was 15 years old, and bras didn’t have the same level of padding they do today, and girls who happened to have big pre-hormone in the foot tits, had the big nipples to match, which was hard to take as a budding young pervert….who’d have to run to the the bathroom for a quick jerk off session hoping not to get caught…

I am not about to jerk off to hard nipples now, like that virgin 15 year old, but I will still look at them, as Busty, boxy, big overrated Kate Upton walks around shamelessly with them knowing that’s all anyone cares about when it comes to her…this is her marketing campaign….cuz the rest of her is pretty shit.

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2017

18

Apr

Kate Upton Big Tits in a Bikini from the Right Angle of the Day

Kate Upton POSTED a bikini picture, because she’s hard at work in Turks and Caicos…wearing bikinis with confidence, which she did when she was 40 pounds heavier…because that’s what delusional, “I can’t do wrong”…”I’m so hot, the world loves me”…does to a set of huge tits…because she know as long as the huge tits were there, she’d be good…

Well, she works out daily now, her whole instagram feed is her working out, and she’s still doughy, but knows her angles, she’s been faking not being doughy her entire career….I guess the fear is losing the tits, you can’t lose the tits, the tits are what the world is obsessed with, even if they are likely terrifying when unleashed…and I guess you can cross reference her leaked nudes for that…

I encourage all girls to post their bikini pics from whatever angle they choose…because I think half nakedness is all that matters…oh and know your angles, I like being lied to in photos if it makes the fat bitch a hotter bitch.

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2017

17

Apr

Kate Upton’s Britney Spears Lip Sync of the Day

I hate that I am posting or promoting the new episode of Lip Sync Battle for Spike, who have done zero to nothing to ever promote me, at least not that I remember, I feel like they have never done anything for me…

Well, they have one show that works still, in an era where TV is dead, and they milk the fuck out of it, like you’ll want to milk the fuck out of Kate Upton’s tits, while she’s on all fours…because as fat as Kate Upton has been, despite it being ignored, her tits have always been why she matters, I mean that and her family fortune because one of them invented the Washing Machine, but that doesn’t matter..when you put a bitch with fat tits on all fours…the people who like fat tits, which is every dude everywhere, will like watching…it’s her best angle…thanks to her push up bra..

YES this is Spike pandering for views..but sometimes…you just got to give motherfucker the views they want…because there’s a fat bitch with big tits on all fours showing off her tits..

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN…

Sure, shameless, low hanging fruit, but that’s what life is about and I am glad to see people branded as Men’s tv are still bringing the misogyny in this patriarchy…

We as men need wet t-shirt contests, growin women in girls in school girl outfits and really all slutty costumes…it is what makes us work, and what gets girls work…without us being so basic…so many of these women that are millionaires today – wouldn’t exist…because so many women who are millionaires did shit like this…magic…so simple…but the male mind is simple..quit trying to fuck with it and make us a bunch of girls.

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2017

04

Apr

Kate Upton Monster Tits in Vogue Thailand of the Day

Kate Upton’s monster tits are in Vogue Thailand, a very prestigious bootleg that is usually full of Lady Boys used as a menu for the british Tourists coming for to come in Lady Boys…idea children…at least that’s what I assume goes on a VOGUE Thailand, because that’s the only thing that really goes on in Thailand…the latest fashions aren’t that interesting to locals…but rather the latest ways to see your children to tourists is…

DOESN’T MATTER…..what does matter is that Kate Upton is still as prestigious as she once was – after buying her career with her Washing Machine inheritance – her great – grandfather invented the washing machine – so that she could have a career as the monster mid-western 17 year old tits dudes jerked off to…before the rest of her caught up with her by 19…and she was forced to live fat in shame in the corner..until realizing “My boyfriend is an athlete and we have a gym in my house, maybe I should use it, so that magazines like VOGUE THAILAND feature me like I matter”….all while trying to continue her acting career that only happened because she was viral internet popular…you know…but her tits…they are bigger than my head and that is always fun.

Here’s a video.

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2017

28

Feb

Poking Kate Upton’s Tit of the Day

Apparently this is video of someone named Erin Foster poking Kate Upton’s big sloppy tit – and people are pretty excited about it……because Kate Upton, rich kid, has been milking her tits forever, like the cow that she is, and she’s not about to stop now…they are her only real asset, the only thing going for her, I mean other than her trust fund she’s got from her rich family who invented the fucking washing machine, probably thinking “when we’re long dead, I hope our patent allows our HEIRS to use their tits for fame”….FINGERS CROSSED..

Her tits are sloppy and for someone who likes sloppy things because they are disgusting they are great…even though I find her pretty fucking disgusting.

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2017

27

Feb

Mariah Carey’s Nipple in a Bra too Small for Her as Kate Upton’s GUNT Meets Walken at the Vanity Fair Party of the Day

Mariah Carey and Her Monster Tits were also at that very same event…..all crazy looking….but busty…in a bra too small for her because she’s crazy…but not too crazy to expose the nippple…

Kate Upton was also there…

I feel like this is the kind of picture some of the worst nerds out there would fucking love to jerk off to, so that’s my motivation in posting it…

Kate Upton, big girl marketed as a skinny girl, despite being a big girl, because she’s rich as fuck and could create or buy her own destiny / career…who has been starving herself and working out hard the last two years to be less fat….showed up to an Oscar Party…with her gunt in tow….where she met who I assume is Chistopher Walken….but who really could be anyone she’s trying to suck up to to further her career….

And Nina Dobrev…who looks like she’s dying of AIDS was there, but should probably have been over at the Elton John AIDS event…due to her looking like she’s got AIDS…but I’ve heard she’s got herpes…not AIDS…what do I know..

Nina Agdal was there in a sheer dress – and all it took was fucking Leonardo DiCaprio to get her there…good strategy…

Hooker Rat Cow was at the Vanity Fair event, because this bitch and her social media account money, have milked as many opportunities as fucking possible. She goes to every single event she can get into – to be some socialite – or to reposition to polarize herself as a legit celebrity, or model, and not a low life naked for attention gutter slut….that we now this famewhore is….trying so hard…while being garbage….amazing tits though…that’s all that matters…

Sofia Vergara brought her ass out to an event…sure she’s from TV…but she gets it done girl….

Katy Perry was there…not hot…but trying to be hot…making for a very weird face that has one at life in a push up bra….less fat than she used to be…but equally annoying I’m sure…

Thandie Newton Dressed Like Michael Jackson…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE OSCAR PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2017

15

Feb

Kate Upton’s Sports Illustrated Covers of the Day

So the biggest news on my social media – as of last night was that Kate Upton is the covergirl of this year’s Sports Illustrated issue that doesn’t matter, that no one cares about, but that the idiots at SI SWIM think is a sure shot, that will get press because there is a story and she’s gone onto be their saving grace the last 10 years as their beach gets flooded from the melting ice caps, which to them is instagram…a place where anyone can imitate their “prestigious” and “expensive” shoots with a fucking iphone…where the girls…so many girls are as hot if not hotter than the models they use…because let’s face it…they aren’t innovative, interesting, and the proof is in the big titty pudding…

I will assume that Kate Upton’s rich family either owns the magazine, or is fucking the publisher, or was just their meal ticket and figure – let’s take the press…we know we are only selling 10 issues anyway…

The good news is that she’s not as fat as she was in her fat years…she works out now….and her tits are still big…but photoshopped catalog bathing suit pics of a tired bitch, instead of hunting and finding a new hot bitch, is just not sustainable…it’s a flawed business…because sure it’s “trending” on Facebook…but because SI SWIM has good PR and the Media is a fucking scam…it’s not because people like it, think it’s hot, or care…

Awesome photoshopped bikini pics of bitches we are tired of us and can see naked on google…

THANKS FOR THAT BRO….

What garbage…garbage they hope saves their business…they even call her “Kate The Great”….which is more like “Kate the One White Trash Who Buy Our Bullshit Like Cuz She’s Been Marketed Right”….

I mean I guess SI has always fucking sucked…

Here she is on the promo tour…

They paid Jimmy Kimmel to announce it like this bullshit matters…

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2017

12

Jan

Kate Upton Big Tits for Love Magazine of the Day

Love Magazine is still putting out this shit….because it was the like the single greatest thing that’s every happened to the magazine…and they even got to do a video with Kate Upton’s tits in lingerie- because all they do is content with this well followed people – that they keep repurposing – and I’m surprised this one didn’t make the Christmas cut…she got the early January treatment…all busty…

She’s less fat than she was…

Sylvestor Stallone’s daughter – Sistine Stallone also did one – because like all celebrity daughters – she’s trying to be a Hadid, Jenner, Model, Social Media whore…

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2016

22

Dec

Kate Upton’s Big Tits Did a Love Magazine Video of the Day

screen-shot-2016-12-22-at-11-11-26-am

I guess Love Magazine is running this right through Decemeber, with 31 videos, so we’ve got 9 more to go.

Thanks to trolling Instagram and following 7500 people like a loser who doesn’t care about his instagram ratio – since none of the people I follow follow me back…hell you don’t even follow me…you cocksuckers….and I get it, I’m not good a social media, I don’t hire “social media managers”…I just fucking randomly upload bullshit pretending to do my part to stay competitive and relevant in this shitty dialed in – online world…

Well….thanks to trolling instagram I’ve seen a few upcoming video behind the scene pics…and the biggest breasted of the bunch is Plus Sized model, big titty, Kate Upton….what day will they have her? Probably not Christmas…because everyone knows she’ll be eating all the goddamn food….too busy to post to her social media…which is the whole point of Love magazine recruiting all this heavily followed social media stars to be in their videos…

I assume Fat Ashley Graham will be in it also, because she’s everywhere, so dynamic and mobile for an obese women, but Kate Upton, is the plus sized SI model I am more Nostalgic about, because despite being fat…she was never marketed as fat – and thus…LESS annoying..

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2016

09

Dec

Kate Upton’s Fitness Ass That Isn’t Very Fit of the Day

kate_upton_hits_gym_hollywood_oi26hea3wb6x

I am not buying into the heiress of WHIRLPOOL’s attempt to advertise that she’s being working out or going to the gym, because I remember a time when bitch defended being fat, plus sized, because she was getting work….all cocky, they are all cocky when they are a getting work..but when the work dries up, they start to realize “shit, maybe I should stop the emotional eating”…..not because she needs work, she’s got a huge trust fund..WHIRPOOL people – it’s an actual company people…but it’s nice to feel wanted…and to feel wanted…sometimes tits aren’t enough when her gut catches up with her…

Well here’s her more recent attempt at fitness ass….for Hollywood…because being a movie star is her goal…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2016

05

Dec

Weird Kate Upton’s Flat Square Big Ass of the Day

kate-upton-1

Kate Upton’s been working out….or maybe she just wants you to think she’s been working out because she calls the paparazzi the occasional times it happens….but she does look better that she used to because I guess she was tired of being called fat…body shaming works….

I guess being with a pro athlete, if you consider baseball a sport, and being a working titty model who doesn’t fit into the standard sizes for brands, made it pretty rough out there, you know because brands like girls the media talks about, and the media talked about her tits, because dudes love tits…because big tits are a lot of fun….especially on 18 year olds, who eventually turn 20 something and her shit slows the fuck down, thanks to metabolism….but she’s taking life by the balls…and hitting the gym…but her broad back, and her big square ass…something I guess her Grandfather’s who created WHIRLPOOL – money can’t really fix…but look at those upper thighs battling each other…it’s almost better than looking at her big sloppy tits…at least to explain how money can buy a career….because this shit wouldn’t fly with any poor Russian model Brad Cooper was trying to fuck….they have strict standards to adhere by…rich American bitches, as long as they got tits…it’s good…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW