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Archive for the Kate Upton Category

2016

03

Feb

Kate Upton’s Humping the Air of the Day

This is pretty disturbing….I mean when you think of Kate Upton as the pig with sloppy tits that she turned herself into…before being mocked by everyone enough that she looked in the mirror and said “I guess my tits aren’t enough for these bastards, I better use my millions to get toned”…

I like to think this is a win for Body Shamers everywhere, and for Kate Upton, because she’s got the audience, she might as well be hot as fuck for them, and embracing her body for the obesity and broad back she was in unacceptable…so let’s just let her hump it out…hump it out…hump it out…

I guess this isn’t as funny as Rihanna only selling 460 copies of her album no one knew she released…which seems like a set up….or a lie…or intentional…obviously…this is Rihanna…

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2016

15

Jan

Kate Upton’s Fat Ass of the Day

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Piggy….Kate Upton…the fat rich kid model who was marketed as a normal sized rich kid model…before rich kid models were as obvious…and when big tits didn’t make the viewer discriminate against sloppy fat bodies…because the tits in and of themselves were so substantial…at least that’s what I assume happened…even though her tits weren’t even that great, they were sloppy soft and gross looking, but idiots just eat up what is fed to them…and apparently…Kate Upton does too.

Here she is pulling off some “she’s an actor now”…getting in the car in leggings…so she doesn’t need to be fit, since actors get paid more and there’s less pressure for her too look good and the fact that this is working out for her, instead of her being laughed out of offices for the talentless hack she is…is beyond me…

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I went to her instagram and saw this picture of her with Whitney Cummings – who I guess they famewhore off each other…together…reminding me that mainstream comedy is so fucking shit…and that I still hate when girls make stupid crass fart jokes…like the camption Kate Upton wrote: “Are we being serious or figuring out who farted?”

Not that I like pandering to this kind of bad joke, but I think it’s safe to say if it smells like CUM it’s Whitney Cummings farting out the air jacked in her ass when she sold her 4th show to hollywood…if it smells like food, it’s Kate Upton…she’s gotta release that pressure build up somehow…fat chick problems.

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TO SEE THE REST OF THE LEGGINGS PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2015

30

Dec

Kate Upton is Great At Eating for Harper’s Bazaar Singapore of the Day

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“Pose with puppies, they won’t know you’re fat”

Kate Upton is a very large model turned actress who can’t act, but who gets cast in movies, because producers don’t realize that no one actually cares about her, and that she was virally famous on the internet like Tila Tequila got famous on the internet, it’s flimsy, not real, and people aren’t engaged or really that into her, but if her tits are out there, they’ll look “excitedly” at them…enough to click “follow” on social media…

There’s very little exciting about her, even in her nude leaked pics, I was like, “Damn that’s one sloppy bitch, how does she get work”….but I guess when she was freshly 18, and a set of huge tits, before her body caught up with her, she was an interesting biological anomaly.

She’s still got some level of celebrity, this stuff has a legacy or lag, and when you know she should be done, she can still milk it a few more years, and I guess she is, like the cow that she is…not quite ready to be put out to pasture…

And the real impressive thing about her is how magazines and brands edit her photos or shoot her so that she doesn’t look like the Monster she is built like…

In this case, they used puppies…and had her giggling…because when a girl smiles large with puppies, in a lot of clothes, you don’t notice her belly, or in Kate Upton’s case, her massive back…used to support those sloppy tits…

Here are the pics…

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2015

26

Nov

Kate Upton or Amy Schumer Playing Some Tennis Porn of the Day

Kate Upton is not porn to me. I didn’t like her when she was big and 18, busty as fuck, with a body I knew would catch up with her tits by 20, because I’ve seen hot girls fall apart since I was 18 and realized the hot girl in my class was no longer hot…or that the girl with tits at 14 was no longer the hot one….and I knew that by 30…when the metabolism actually slows down…Kate Upton is fucking done…

But tennis is porn to me, so anytime a girl in her skirt hits the ball, making those sex sounds, I get excited…

Now mixing the two, a doughy Kate Upton, all hanging over her outfit….and tennis, a sport I love girls playing…is not necesarily something you can jerk off to…even if she’s got big tits…

But it is something you can laugh to…and laughing is good for the soul on Thanksigiving…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2015

23

Nov

Even a Dog with Balls Won’t Look at Kate Upton’s Ass of the Day

I make fun of Kate Upton for being the most overrated, pig of a model, who is plus sized but in denial..because for some reason the industry forces some girls to starve themselves, other girls to call themselves plus sized, yet Kate Upton, who is huge, even monster sized, gets the cover of magazines like Vogue, and is jerked off to by many because she’s got huge doughy tits, that match her doughy body, but that are so doughy, people eat them up like cookie dough, that’s probably what they are made of….despite her not even being hot…

She’s in movies, she’s rich as fuck…and she’s gross…especially in her leggings…that even a dog, who normally eats garbage and panties, sniffing old periods and yeast infections on the laps of women everywhere…but wants nothing to do with this…

I guess in a lot of ways…this dog is the oracle…it just gets it..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2015

16

Nov

Kate Upton Flashes Her Bra To Distract from her Belly of the Day

Kate Upton knows one thing about how the world works and that one thing is that the world fucking loves huge tits…

The world’s love for huge tits is the only reason she exists, and with her huge tits, the world has ignored the rest of her that is big…from her back to her awkward shaped hips…something that she really grew into as she filled out…after making it as a model…all while confusing the world…into a “how is she a model”…before being replaced by another rich kid, GIGI Hadid, who doesn’t have stupid huge tits, but who is now what Kate Upton was….

So I guess she’s up to her old, because she’s old, washed up and boring…but still getting work because Hollywood sticks to the people they know…tricks…and she’s busting out tit getting out of a car…in hopes no one notices her gunt…so clever….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2015

13

Nov

Kate Upton for Harper’s Bazaar Australia of the Day

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Big Momma Kate Upton is looking older, more sophisticated…like a mom of 5 who lives in a mansion up the hill…and who is walking around the grocery store with her two maids…pretending to be a mom…you know dignified…

I guess it would make sense for Kate Upton to look 40 and like a mom by the age of 25…because at 16, her tits were bigger than your fucking head. Freaks of nature that hormonally, made you think, she’s probably going to be fat as fuck, this is unnatural, but that her parents figured they could use to set up her life and future….and they did…

Despite, being huge, fat, disgustng, sloppy, broad as fuck…..she still never became a “plus sized model”…and despite falling off the radar, not really be anything special…she still managed to make 3.5 million dollars last year…in what I would have assumed was her worst year ever, as no one cared about her tits anymore…because new big natural tits took her place..

Kate Upton…pulled off a great scam…isn’t that hot, never was that hot, just busty…then fat…now this…a mom..and or a barn animal in a dress..for Harper’s Bazaar…

If you care about the Top Model Earning List…. Here it is:


1. Gisele Bundchen: $44 million
2. Cara Delevingne: $9 million
3. Adriana Lima: $9 million
4. Doutzen Kroes: $7.5 million
5. Natalia Vodianova: $7 million
6. Miranda Kerr: $5.5 million
7. Joan Smalls: $5.5 million
8. Lara Stone: $5 million
9. Alessandra Ambrosio: $5 million
10. Candice Swanepoel: $5 million
11. Karlie Kloss: $5 million
12.Carolyn Murphy: $4.5 million
13. Kate Moss: $4.5 million
14. Liu Wen: $4.5 million
15. Daria Werbowy: $4.5 million
16. Kendall Jenner: $4 million
17. Hilary Rhoda: $3.5 million
18. Kate Upton: $3.5 million
19. Jourdan Dunn: $3.5 million

Insane when you know as well as I know that people don’t care about these models, that people will still look at the campaign with no name models, that so many girls will model for free….who are hotter an more interesting and that paying models…especailly this kind of money is just a scam ad agencies do to keep the high budgets coming in from the brands…because if brands didn’t spend their 20% of earning on marketing, the economy would explode and they would just pay it to taxes, so you might as well go for the gold..or in Kate Upton’s case…the monster model who costs a lot…

Posted in:Kate Upton

2015

28

Oct

Kate Upton Pig in a Blanket / Bra in a Shirt of the Day

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Her name is KATE UPTON and she’s a movie star now…I know what you’re thinking….that she’s most likely a pie eating Walmart cashier making money for her black mold infested trailer park…but you’re wrong, she’s a huge (literally), relevant (barely) star….who everyone loves, despite being overweight, when everyone knows fat girls shouldn’t matter…or exist in entertainment…we have enough of those in real life…but I guess we need one to represent the Walmart cashier to make her relatable in the industry…to make it more relatable to the common man because not everyone needs to be unattainable hot…we need that one fat chick to make it seem real..

Here she is pretending to workout – it’s so funny…

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Here’s her tits in GIF

KATE

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2015

22

Oct

Kate Upton Pretending She’s Working Out of the Day

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This is the most hysterical, insane picture, set by her PR team…so fucking staged that it is a fucking joke….it’s almost more staged than any paparazzi set of pics I’ve ever really seen and I’ve been doing this forever…

I mean, she’s rich, her husband or boyfriend who cheats on her and leaks her nudes is rich….they have gyms in their houses, and at their hotels, and they can train anywhere….

But girl, who is ripped apart like she rips apart the pizza and cake she devours, before and after the gym….on the daily for being a top model, not being considered a plus sized model when her body caught up to her tits…and has since gone onto acting in movies…despite having no talent…because you don’t need talent…when you have big tits…

She’s a monster, but people still humor her…and I guess this is her way of showing the world she’s fit…full squat…let’s call the paparazzi because clearly, based on everything about her…it doesn’t happen too often and it should be news….now where are all the donuts? hiding in her stomach? right..

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TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2015

15

Oct

Kate Upton Lies of the Day

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TELL HER TO TURN SIDEWAYS!!! TELL HER TO TURN SIDEWAYS!!

I know this party trick, so many fat people do it, I used to have a fat uncle who would take off his shirt and start fleing like he was a body builder before molesting us…

As long as he stood straight on, he almost looked like he was fit…up on some Vin Diesel shit….but the second he turned sideways, you’d see he was just a fat fucking slob…and that was without photoshop…something Kate Upton can’t go without…I mean I’m sure she’s even taken on her grandfather, who invented the washing machine’s inventor lead in trying to design a way to look like you’ve been photoshopped in real life…

But I don’t think it’s working for her…at least not in these ill fitting shorts you know could house a scout troop on a camping trip….

Disgusting, sure…but people love her…and it’s all because of her tits…if only life was that simple for every girl with tits…since every girl has tits…just not quite as flappy as Kate Upton tits…

KATE-UPTON

TO SEE HER IN SHORTS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2015

09

Oct

Pregnant Kate Upton Leaves the Gym is the LOL of the Day

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This is the LOL of the day….

First…fat girls who get cast as regular sized models..and not plus sized models even though she’s huge.hitting the gym..because she probably never has hit the gym…unless there was an all you can eat buffet attached to it..

Bitch is a rich model…but is looking like they are Roseanne at the peak of her fatness on the way to make a tuna casserole in her trailer park home…rocking her fitness gear from Target because it’s all she can afford, it makes her feel fit, and a medium is very forgiving…

The reality of it is is that it is a joke on another level too…and that level is how funny it is to watch fat people to work out, and sure she’s not working out here, even though she’s probably burning more calories than her actual workout, by walking a block…lazy bitch…but the idea of her trying to do jumping jacks or squats..is just hysterical..som eclown car level funny..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PIC CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2015

05

Oct

Pregnant Kate Upton Left the House of the Day

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When you’re too fat to live….as a model…but you like your celebrity…that you bought cuz your family is rich…you have limited options…to justify your existence…because you don’t want to be called plus sized…no one wants to be called plus sized…even when plus sized is in trend…because fat girls never shut the fuck up and make us think they are legitimate people..

I called Kate Upton out when she launched, she was 18 years old…I could tell by her weird hips and back, that it was a matter of time the belly would catch up…and it did…but she still gets work…America loves fat tits…so much they’ve accepted her…because fat is the new fit…

That said, the best way to justify the fat…instead of just working out…is to blame it on pregnancy…and based on her leaked nudes…she’s slutty enough to take loads inside her….and I guess this is her big reveal…literally…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2015

22

Sep

Kate Upton Works Out in W Korea of the Day

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It is safe to say that this is some sort of “artistic” interpretation of Kate Upton, you know some sort of Banksy, making fun, being sarcastic or facetious, of modeling by throwing the celebrated fat girl into a gym to pretend she works out, when we all know the only working out she does is putting on her fat chick bra or trying to bend over to tie her shoe…cuz that’s just the kind of fitness she is…

I guess along with Fashion “artistic” nudes….comes fashion “artistic” social commentary..and this is a joke…obviously…because Kate Upton working out…is a joke…

I love the on her back pose…like a turtle on it’s shell trying to flip over…Legendary…breaking the internet…and any chairs she sat on in the making of this…

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2015

17

Sep

Kate Upton Awkward Tit of the Day

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There’s a difference between fat tits and big tits…

Fat tits just have a mind of their own, maybe it’s the diabetic neuropathy…

Maybe it’s the hypo gylecia or glandular issue that makes them so obese..they’ll tell you it’s medical and genetic, as no fat person has ever admitted to it being their fault, or their overeating and not working out…they are the victims who like to pretend they love their body, because it allows them to not do anything about it, and keep consuming…until they are too sick to move or fight authority on real issues….the government wants you fat..

That said…

Fat tits just have a mind of their own, they are spilling everywhere…

A photo posted by Kate Upton (@kateupton) on

So here’s Kate Upton, the biggest model of our generation…literally….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2015

15

Sep

Kate Upton Big Tits of the Day

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As America gets fatter and fatter, plus sized is all the rage…and who better to celebrate being Plus Sized than Kate Upton, who is clearly Plus Sized, so Plus Sized she’s even bigger than most plus sized models, only she books jobs and works as a regular sized model, which makes no sense, but I guess it’s just the professional version of “Secret Internet Fatty”…with a team of experts made to make her look skinny and to pass her off as a bikini model….and not a new wave bikini model…where they are all plus sized…but a traditional bikini model…and people fucking love her, give her work and make her viral..it’s weird…so weird…but I come from a school of thought that the fat girl is only good at 3 am when drunk…

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TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

If you don’t like that…here’s the other Kate Upton, Rich Girl only famous for her tits…Charlotte Mckinney, Who doesn’t deserve a post of her own, but we likes to piggy back on Kate Upton…because I guess Kate Upton is too big to piggy back on anyone…they’d break….

She’s in a Sports Bra…trying to tame / suffocate / draw attention to them tits..

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TO SEE THE REST OF THE CHARLOTTE SPORTS BRA BECAUSE SHE’S THE NEW TITS ON THE BLOCK DESPIRTE HER OLD FACE CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW