I know Lohan isn’t from New Jersey, but she is from Long Island and I can only assume that Long Island is like Jersey, only there’s more new money in the shit, but it’s equally as trashy, or maybe Lohan’s just jealous that Snooki is getting all the attention and decided that it’d make sense to swagger jack her.
You know the dyed black hair, the tits busting out of the shit, the making out with random old men who give her attention because they are huge fashion designers and convincing herself she’s friends with him by hanging with him, and making it look like they are best buddies by raping his face, making her feel better about the direction her career has taken, you know, like she’s still relevant….and as long as I am alive, she is still relevant, she is everything I like about the American Dream….the only thing I hate about her is that she’s not raping my face…
Here’s some footage from the new Kardashian show and it’s fucking miserable to watch. A lot of emotions are running thru me right now and all of them end in suicide. I don’t understand how America allows trash like this to have a show, like they are relevant or have anything to offer the world other than leasons in how to make your dead father regret leaving anything to your cunt ass in his will. The show should change its name to “The Kardashian Sisters Hang with Black People” and the highlight of it is when he asks if she dates athletes cuz they are taller than her, which was the soft way of asking if she only dates black people cuz with a monster head like that, she’s gotta have a pretty seriously large gaping pussy to fill. True story.
Hey look a girl you’ve jerked off to many fucking times is in love with another guy, unfortunately for you, this is something you’re getting used to. It all started when you were a 12 year old boy and the pretty girl in your class went off with someone else, even after you reached out and wrote her a love letter and before you spat in her face, called her a cunt and got suspended and issued a restraining order against her from the school, pretty much starting a common theme in your life, that you probably will never be able to live down.
Here’s Heidi’s fake tits, to match her fake hair at her fake Finale party, with her fake husband that she has been fake dating for the last few years in her fake life. The only thing real in all this is that the dress is probably designer, and not a fake imitation, because it turns out the public like lies and lies make people very fucking rich.
That’s not to say it’s a nice dress, I don’t know this fashion shit, but this is Heidi Montag, so I can only assume it is some tacky trashy stripper shit you’d find at a sex shop, but it is to say that all this combined makes this bitch a lot smarter than you and me and that’s pretty fucking depressing.
When Brody Jenner was in town, someone gave me his manager’s number, so I called asking to hang with Brody and his entourage for stepTV, but his manager didn’t get me into his event, in fact, he didn’t call, email or respond to me reaching out. I guess they all think they are too good for me, you know with their huge success on shitty reality shows they only got because of a rich stepfather.
So despite having a deep hatred for him and his lover Spencer Preatt, I figured he was enough of a no name to have someone like me follow him around, considering I follow girls around all the time, and they don’t always call the cops on me, but then again, they have a lot more going for them than this Jenner motherfucker, mainly a pussy…..but pussy is my vice. It was the main reason I even bothered emailing him and putting myself out there in some kind of selling my soul to the rich kid devil, feeling like someone who actually thinks this cocksucker is relevant enough to hang with, because I thought it would be a good opportunity to get some sloppy second pussy he turned down while I was out with him, because pussy Jenner rejects is pussy that is far better than any pussy I’ve seen.
You know, being in his entourage for just one night, wouldn’t be as bad as you’d expect, i figure dealing with his ego, his hair maintenance and his arrogance, while wasted, isn’t as gut wrenching as considering girls love him, sure they are girls who like dudes who wear Ed Hardy, but girls who like dudes who wear Ed Hardy don’t usually like me, and are pretty high maintenance, dolled up, and keep their pussy nice and shaved, in case of a slip up when dancing on tables after one too many bottle pours from a magnum of Goose, while ignoring my requests to finger bang them on the dance floor….
Either way, this video is of the asshole Brody kissing some chick, I don’t know why I am posting it, because I think he’s useless, but I guess I did it because I have a story about him, not a very good story but a story nonetheless….
Blake Lively is the star of one of those teen targeted shows that ends up turning them into materialistic, money grubbing, wallet fucking, gossiping, scenester, bottle whore sluts called Gossip Girl that I have never seen but know it has that kind of power because teenagers are pretty easy to influence. I know that people have been giving her all kinds of credit for being hot, but I just don’t see it and figured I’d post these pictures of her just to say that and to say that I am a pretty big asshole. A group of kids were in the back alley behind my shit hole apartment and were doing some kind of lame teenage drug deal and were smoking what was probably one of their first joints and were looking over their shoulder constantly to see if anyone was going to catch them and arrest them and just when they decided to get comfortable, I pulled out my camera and snapped off the flash, making them all panic and run, while I sat at my command center laughing to myself, that may have nothing to do with Blake Lively, but I heard them say they can’t wait to go home and watch the new episode of Gossip Girl that they TIVOed, so maybe it does.
I just wanted to post these pictures of Kate Beckinsale kissing her boyfriend or husband or whoever the fuck this is, because I don’t really know, but I do have a feeling that you do, because you view him as the one great obstacle between you professing your love to this bitch and riding away into the sunset on a white horse. Without rationally breaking it down to the fact that you are a nobody, you are ugly and you work a menial job, or no job at all, shit, I don’t know what you do, we’re not friends, but I do know the kind of person you are, and that is someone who has watched Underworld numerous times, at various speeds just to get a better angle of this girl. She is a hero to the comic book crowd and she’s not ever going to fuck one of the comic book crowd, so you should really move on and ask that fat girl in the back of your class out for a cup of coffee, maybe she’s got a good sense of humor and a high sex drive from never being given the opportunity to get cock, that may be exactly what you’re lookin for. Sure she’s no Kate Beckinsale, but I think we have to manage our expectations a little if you ever want to find happiness….
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Here are some pictures of Hayden kissing some gimpy dude with a big nose who has to be Jewish on set of something she’s filming. Shit reminds me of a t gay experience that happened a couple of days ago. I was on the bus, exhausted and past the fuck out. I woke up leaning on the shoulder of some brown dude who was sitting next to me, I looked at him, he smiled, I apologized and he stroked my hair with his hand and said “anytime”. It was a little awkward and I got off at the next stop, even though it wasn’t my stop and I am hoping that’s the last time I see that dude, like I am hoping this is the gateway to seeing Hayden shoving her dick in a gay dude, not because I am into Gay porn, but because I want proof that this bitch doesn’t own a pussy.
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Seeing Kelly Osbourne kissing anything reminds me of the first time I walked in on two guys kissing. It was I was just loitering around a college dorm in hopes of seeing a free show in the coed bathroom, when I walked into the shower, not knowing it was an all male shower, thinkin’ I’d see a scene out of Debbie Does Dallas, when instead I saw two naked men kissing and jerking each other off. It kinda tarnished my sex drive for about a month because thoughts of that shit really threw me off since it was a time before gay was an everyday thing and drinking did a good job making me forget and get over it and accept it as not being such a big deal, but I will say it put an end to my quest to find entertainment in the coed dorm.
I guess what Kelly Osbourne proves is that even really ugly, sexually ambiguous, fat chicks you would assume are lesbian because no cock wants them, can find love, especially if their parents are rich, famous and big in the music industry, something any aspiring musician would see as a golden opportunity. Work your way into a solid career by fucking the ugly daughter no one wants, then making her fall in love with you and wanting the best for you, leading to her constant whining to her parents to give you a record deal until they agree to shut their little baby they feel sorry for bringing into the world because she looks like shit up.
So maybe this love isn’t real, but the fact that it is hideously disgusting is, and I guess it’s nice to know that Kelly Osbourne can be blinded by this beautiful love she feels to not realize the truth behind it, but the real tragedy is that she doesn’t respect the truth her mirror tells her everyday and that is to stay the fuck inside like the freak that you are because no one wants to ruin their day by lookin’ at that face.