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Archive for the Sofia Vergara Category

2016

23

Sep

Sofia Vergara Doing Helium of the Day

I guess I should do posts, even though all this content is available everywhere on the internet and I am a day late on fetish videos for the juvenile and annoying schoolyard freak Jimmy Fallon….where he gets big Colombian tits to speak after huffing a balloon like it was Nitrous…or something that actually fucks her up enough to a state of date rape…because Jimmy Fallon is a fucking creep being that dancing monkey approach to late night tv…

Posted in:SFW|Sofia Vergara

2016

20

Sep

Sofia Vergara is a Cultural Appropriator of the Day

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Sofia Vergara is Colombian…turned American TV star after being an illegal smuggled in like a kilo of cocaine her family probably made her bring into the country…the same stock of cocaine that led her career because hollywood loves good coke…and Sofia Vergara is a passionate latin woman who like good cock…they are all emotional and shit…

But she’s not a Mexican, so dressing like one in a sombrero eating tacos is cultural appropriation. If she was white and this was a college campus..they’d torch her..before hearing her accent and not quite knowing how to handle it…because white social justice warriors struggle when questioned…

But I heard one on the radio yesterday – because I still listen to the radio…and she was going on about asian food and the right way to eat asian food and that white people can’t dictate or change or define asian food…without realizing it’s just fucking food…and white people have slaughtered the taco forever…

Nice mom tits…

But wearing a sombrero..that’s like blackface, or wearing a headress to Coachella…and for that..she should be destroyed…as a Mexican I want a personal apology…but I guess to some of you virgin losers…her Wonder Woman fetish pic is enough of an apology…

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Posted in:SFW|Sofia Vergara

2016

22

Jul

Sofia Vergara’s Tits on Set of the DAy

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Sofia Vergara is some hooker – who tricked the right client to give her a shot in the entertainment industry – under what I assume was extortion…thanks to the help of her Colombian team of drug cartel gangsters who helped her orchestrate it…

Because…Sofia Vergara and her hypnotic tits were once ILLEGAL immigrants that Donald Trump would have married if he was into Hispanics more than Eastern Euros….she smuggled herself into Florida with her kid in tow…and now..in her 40s she’s a superstar actress who can barely speak english…and it’s not because she gets nudes – it’s because she’s tactical…and what Trump is warning you about illegals..they get into your economy and just take it over…

She’s in lingerie on set, her fans love it, I’d prefer seeing her earlier porn or exposing her story – for what it actually is – but that we’ll never figure out because as we know – people take what they are told at face value – instead of researching……but maybe no one would care – since her tits is all that matters…

All I can think about when seeing her in her expensive shaping lingerie, is that 87 percent of Muslim these fundamentalist Muslim women who are in Hijabs, you know full bed sheets, actually wear really slutty lingerie, sometimes with anal beads inside them, because they are only human…even if you don’t think they are because you’re racist.

Posted in:SFW|Sofia Vergara

2015

23

Nov

Sofia Vergara Got Married of the Day

A video posted by Sofia Vergara (@sofiavergara) on

Sofia Vergara married some actor…because she is also an actor…and I guess it is a reminder to instagram whores everywhere, especially the immigrant, hispanic, fresh off the boat in the Miami Port ones, that if they stick to showing their tits, partying with the rich guys, they too may be typecast for what ends up being a massive fucking show…and all it takes is fucking strategically…it can even happen if you’re a single mother…but may help if you’re Colombian and have access to all the right cocaine channels to help the rich guys have even more fun than just your tits when they roll through Miami..before one falls in love and drags you to LA with them…to make everyone a lot of money…

You know, as well as I know, that Sofia Vergara’s story of being that single mom, who smuggled herself to America…pulled some shady non-status things…possibly even an anchor baby or two…all while being hot enough to pull it off..reminding us that maybe, if all the illegals looked like this…people like Donald Trump, who is married to an immigrant..would be more tolerant…because of her tits..

I mean…this is a “fairy tale wedding” at 45….and a reminder…anything can happen…but it usually requires being hot with huge tits…

I think she’s overrated –

Here she is for some wedding magazine….

Posted in:SFW|Sofia Vergara

2015

15

Sep

Sofia Vergara’s Peggy Bundy of the DAy

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Sofia Vergara brought her old Botox face to Jimmy Kimmel, where she continued to fool the world into thinking she’s a comedic actress, because she is a comedic actress, on one of TV, yes TV, it is still around’s most prized show I call…Sofia Vergara’s tits and accents while Sarah Hyland learns how to slut…but to America it is Modern Family…

I mean I guess comedic acting, which apparently requires little to no talent, just tits, if the role is written for you, thanks to using those tits on one of the producers, making it seem like a lottery win…

In her 20a, when you’d expect tits like this to really be at their best, she was half naked and hosting cheesy latin shows after she escaped Colombia due to either being rich from drug and/or coffee money….or as a refugee…the kind of migrant you’d want to take in and take advantage of…even if she came with a kid in tow…because she’s just that good…

I guess what I am getting at is that sometimes tits carry a girl into their old age, sometimes using those tits as a bikini clad host of cheesy shit in the 90s as a vehicle to get to this superstar celebrity status as an actress..because acting requires very little talent, just access…and access can come by giving accsss to a motherfucker to your pussy to cum…it’s what I call raw talent…since no one uses condoms..

Either way, she’s keeping the sex appeal alive, fit and with botoz…and she’s on Kimmel…with that voice…that she plays up aggressive as I’ve never met a Colombian who sounds quite like this cartoony, fetish version of a Colombian…she knows how to seduce…

Here she is on Married with Children…

Here she is on people flirting with her husband

Posted in:SFW|Sofia Vergara

2015

09

Apr

Sofia Vergara Nipple of the Day

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Possible drug lord, or daughter of a drug lord who supplied all of hollywood with their cocaine…because hollywood fucking loves cocaine and as a thnak you they made her the highest paid actress on TV…Sofia Vergara…who I guess could just as likely be really good at seducing men with her massive tits…is in Vanity Fair…or some other magazine…shot by the legendary Annie Lebovitz….and apparently..who happens to be the photographer who hired the photographer who shot for me when I was in Maxim Magazine in 2007 when I was at the point of maybe becoming relevant, only to fall off the fucking map…as her assistant….making me feel really emotionally connected to both her lesbianism and Sofia Vergara, since it’s practically as if she shot me…right?

I don’t know why I am making this about me, I should make this about Sofia Vergara, the tits, who’s nipple you can see in the bath, because Annie the Lesbian likes bath tubs, she’s used them before in shoots…namely with Whoopi Goldberg…in what scarred me in my youth…because Whoopi Goldberg is a monster…

WHOOPI

Anyway, I posted the cover yesterday…and here are the rest of the pics…because people love Sofia Vergara, maybe because only Hispanics watch network TV, or maybe becaue girls over 30 watch network TV and wish that their life turns around at 40 like it did for this one…she’s like an aspirational guide…to middle age…maybe there’s still hope…bitches everywhere…

Posted in:Sofia Vergara

2015

08

Apr

Sofia Vergara for Vanity Fair of the DAy

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Sofia Vergara makes me laugh because she went from Colombian border jumper, who may not have really jumped the border, but who was a single mother who ended up in Miami at a very young age, and was forced to fend for herself, even though I assume she comes from Money to begin with, as there is money in Colombia…where she’f rom….

But she’s now the highest paid talent on TV, that every over 30 actor who hasn’t made it, of every ethnicity, references when you aske who’s career they want…

It’s like from zero to fucking hero, and all it took was awesome tits and the right strategic moves…that I assume involve no gag reflex…because why the fuck else would she end up at the top when so many other Hisapnic imports end up as chambermaids…

It just doesn’t make sense, but she’s topless in Vanity Fair…and that could be glimpse of where it all began…a little book ending…or something…

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Here’s the video:

Here’s her ass in jeans for instagram…unrelated to Vanity Fair..but totally fine to stare at…thanks to being a hot old lady with a hot fucking ass…

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Posted in:Sofia Vergara

2015

07

Jan

Sofia Vergara’s Ass in Tights of the Day

Here’s Sofia Vergara’s ass in fitness gear, because I guess she’s getting ready to get married, or maybe she realizes she’s 100 fucking years old and that she needs to go to the gym to maintain that sex appeal that too her 20 years of hustle to finally land the right part, on the right show, to suddenly validate everything and everyone she did along the way to the top….

I am not overly excited by 45 year old strippers who never were, because they were smart enough to get to Miami, date rich, get into the right circles, make money…and it all paid off…

But I know that people are, especially 35 year old aspiring actors, not just hispanics trying to border jump, but every 35 year old who hasn’t made it says “Sofia Vergar only got Modern Family at 37, it could happen to me”…not that I like 35 year old aspiring actors, but I do like their desperation…


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Posted in:Sofia Vergara

2014

09

Oct

Sofia Vergara Lies for Shape Magazine of the Day

There are paparazzi pics floating around of Sofia Vergara leaving the Botox clinic, which would be more shocking if she didn’t look like she got Botox, or more importantly, if everyone didn’t get Botox. I’m talking there are 25 year old girls getting Botox, so for a 45 year old starlet who only got famous at 40 getting Botox, it almost makes sense. It’s all part of the lie that is Hollywood….

To perpetuate that lie, here are some pics of her for Shape Magazine that apparently hits news stands November 17…because I’ve been to the future and now I’m back to deliver these to you…because it’s important to stare at Shape pictures that have historically been the worst or most obvious photoshoppers.

You know taking girls are rebuilding them into something that isn’t’ the middle aged, single mother, who fucked her way to a hit show thanks to the help of her drug running family from back home…because hollywood loves a few things…tits and coke..and she comes with both…while making you come…

Good girl.

Posted in:Sofia Vergara

2014

27

Aug

Sofia Vergara Nipple Slip of the Day

Comments Off on Sofia Vergara Nipple Slip of the Day

I saw this earlier and didn’t really care, before realizing that everyone fucking loves Sofia Vergara and I would not be doing my service to you assholes if I didn’t post it, even though we all know that showing her nipple is the least of things she’s done to be celebrating at these post-Emmy Party, while all the shameless shady things she’s done over the years to get from the ghetto to this level…make showing her nipple in a celebratory dance tame as fuck. I’m imagining cocaine bribes, blowjobs, gangbangs – maybe even her getting shit on…because hooking is how success happens for most immigrants I know…and it would only make sense if that applied to this lottery winner too….even if she wants you to think it’s all her hard work. Bullshit.

Posted in:Sofia Vergara

2014

04

Aug

Sofia Vergara’s Bikini Bottoms of the Day

Sofia Vergara posted this picture of her in bikini bottoms – wearing the most ridiculous heels possible because they lean her out – make her seem sexier than she is – when the reality is she’s pushing 45, is a mom of at least one, and despite maintaining a hot body until she fucked the right producer to land the right show to be at the top of the food chain…but this right here is smoke and mirrors…living the luxury life…but rocking’ angles, so many angles and filters…to make you think she’s still as hot as she once was…as hot as she needed to be to seduce all the people who hooked her up…and really I don’t care what she looks like under a spotlight – with flats and no filter or make-up – with her belly hanging over her bathing suit…I care about the content she’s producing of herself for the internet…because that’s what I get to look at…

Now I am not a fan, but I like that she gives so many 30 year old failures hope….that if they sleep with the right people they could be her too…cuz sometimes it takes being a failure at 30 to really realize what is important….

Posted in:Sofia Vergara

2014

02

Jul

Sofia Vergara Instagram Cleavage of the Day

Sofia Vergara posted some cleavage pics to the internet…cleavage pics that would be more exciting if she wasn’t 100 years old. I mean sure, ever since noticing my grandmother’s old ladies tits, I thought old lady tits were fascinating…so big and juicy….but not in an erotic way, more like scientific researcher researching the slow death of sex appeal…

I figure the only good Sofia Vergara has done in the world is proved that you can exploit your ethnicity, if your coke smuggling drug lord family are working with hollywood people…who love coke…you don’t need talent, just tits to get work…

From immigrant to famous at 40….lots of dicks were sucked in the making of this ,but who has the last laugh….

Life lesson, always suck the right dick girls.

Posted in:Sofia Vergara

2014

18

Jun

Sofia Vergara for Kmart of the DAy

There was once a time when single, immigrant, South American Sofia Vergara, floated into Miami on a raft, where she was forced to either work at Kmart, or shop at Kmart with her stripper money, to clothe her bastard baby, who I assume is in his 20s now…and now she’s peddling her own line of clothes at the discount retailer.

That was, unless she was rich, or fucking rich dudes early on, hence why she’s now living the hollywood fuelled American dream…but I don’t like that storyline as much…

I prefer the rags to riches to drug cartel cocaine trade stories of owning hollywood because hollywood runs off cocaine…it makes her tits more desperate, or more icons of the desperate girl out there in her 30s, who uses her to remind them that it’s never too late to make it…

Posted in:Sofia Vergara

2014

16

May

Sofia Vergara for Kmart of the Day

The Sofia Vergara backstory confuses me. I assume being Colombian, there are a lot of drug cartels involved in her rise to fame. I feel like writing this may even get me shot, because most South Americans with an American dream, who come to Miami at 20 with a kid in tow, don’t end up being huge stars on huge TV shows 20 years later.

Not only is she a huge star, she’s also one of these girl who women love, and men love, marketing perfectly…where even doing a campaign for Kmart, a cash grab since you know she doesn’t shop at Kmart, doesn’t turn people off…but instead makes the middle americans shop at fucking Kmart….

I just know that producers were paid off, dicks were sucked, some Scarface shit went down…because so many other people wish they were her…I’m talking actual Americans, but I guess they just didn’t have the drive…or the titties…

Either way, here she is cashing out…

Posted in:Sofia Vergara

2014

16

Apr

Sofia Vergara’s Women’s Health Shoot of the Day

Sofia Vergara has a great scam going on. She was a single mother from Colombia, who managed to work her way into a sitcom where she plays herself, which requires no talent, not that being on a sitcom really requires any talent, just look at Jennifer Aniston and all the other overpaid idiots from the history of sitcoms, but this Sofia chick has it pretty good, it’s like they wrote the part specifically for her, and that’s safe to say, happened because of either really good blowjobs, even though girls in Hollywood are already giving really good blowjobs, it is the land of eager as fuck….or some weird drug cartel affiliation muscling the right people to make shit happen…since LA is the land of cocaine too…

Either way, she’s 100, still looks good, and is in Women’s Health for you to masturbate to, because you are too lazy to masturbate to footage of her from when she wasn’t 100 years old

Posted in:Sofia Vergara