Jesus, this South American bitch has some big fucking eyebrows, I mean these are some serious eyebrows, and by eyebrows, I mean eyebrows and not some clever way of saying tits, cuz you see we all know she’s busy as fuck, it’s why she is on TV, I mean better to get have a token middle aged hispanic woman in hollywood to be busty as fuck than not…..

But these eyebrows, they are distracting, all up on some Andy Rooney fucking caterpillars crawling on her face….

I guess they are better to soak up all the cum she’s had ejaculated on her face as she climbed the ladder in her career…

It all makes sense now, these eyebrows were just as important to her success as the titties that lead to all the blowjobs, because it acted as a much needed mop. I’ve seen how they clean up oil spills. I get what’s going on here….

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Sofia Vergara got herself some more acting work…because despite being 60 fucking years old….she’s still in high demand….for reasons I can only assume involve being from a Colombian drug cartel that feeds the execs in Hollywood….so that they have no choice but to hire her otherwise she will expose them….I mean that or it’s cuz she’s got ridiculous titties…and the movie maker’s know 50 percent of America are hispanic…and in being Hispanic need hispanic characters to relate to….so they might as well cast the best one…even if she’s better suited to be stripping like most single mom immigrants….

Well the acting work in the new Robert Rodriguez movie, Machete Kills….also staring Mel Gibson, Vanessa Hudgens, Jessica Alba, Charlie Sheen, Amber Heard, Alexa Vega, Lady Gaga….but none of the others made the first movie poster…cuz they don’t have tits they can sensationalize with guns…like he did to Rose McGowan’s leg in that Grindhouse shit…

Either way, here’s the poster, I hope it speaks to your inner nerd, which in your case is also your outter nerd…you’re just lucky nerd is still trendy and doesn’t result in getting beat the fuck up….

Guns for tits…on a girl known for her tits…so fucking clever/comedic/obvious/who cares…oh right, you do.

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Sofia Vergara posted this picture of her on set Roller Skating in a compromising position…..wearing tight enough pants for all her fans that like middle aged Latinas so long as they have massive tits and access to a serious cocaine supply…cuz cocaine is awesome…and so are massive tits…especially on broken women, who despite having already made it, all rich and famous, probably have a lot of battle wounds along the way….cuz going from single mother, immigrant who couldn’t speak english to Emmy Award winning actor….instead of stripper married to a drug dealer…makes me think she gives awesome blow jobs….and even though I’ll never find out, I don’t mind staring at her doin her thing…cuz guess what…I have nothing else to do….

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Sofia Vergara has big tits..and she’s not naked for Glamour Mexico…because like all South Americans, she thinks she’s too good to get naked for Mexico….you know all elitist and Hollywood now….probably with a deep rooted hatred for her spanish speaking southern country neighbor cuz in America.. where she’s paved her way….she’s probably been called a Mexican way too many times that whenever she hears Mexico she spits on the fucking ground in spite….or maybe I’m just getting a little too carried away on this….when I shouldn’t have even bothered noting these pics since they aren’t nude.

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This must be a fetish somewhere…

Sofia Vergara has two people working her face to make her look like she’s not a 50 year old single mom of a 25 year old….you know when you’re not looking at her breasts…..and take the time to see what her face actually looks like…which I assume only happens sometimes….like right now when she’s not showing off her tits…even though showing off her tits is the whole reason she exists….making the whole thing so backwards…

Most girls hide their smoke and mirror secrets, their SPANX, their EXLAX and whatever else they use to make themselves look hot….but this girl’s putting this out there….making me think is just a front for the other 3 dozen other people she has airbrushing her into looking like a babe….but we don’t care about that…we just care that she’s making everyday 50 year olds feel inadequate….cuz an inadequate feeling woman is one who gives good head….

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Here’s a clip from 1994, when Sofia Vergara was just 40, posing her smaller than now, but still big single mother trying to make it as hard as she can tits. Fun.

Apparently her tit falls out at some point…but I didn’t notice it becasue I was too busy trying to figure out what the hell I was watching, this low budget TV shit, that you can produce better quality productions on your iPhone, make me laugh, from the voice overs to the actual footage, is fucking genius, and should make a comeback because let’s face it…it’s a fucking joke in and of itself….kinda like this 90s hair….

Hispanic people are funny. That said, I am sure if you looked deep into the archives on the internet -even though she was struggling before the internet….there’d be a ton of her nudes….somewhere….cuz you don’t get famous keeping your clothes on especially when you’re a single mother!

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The most irritating thing about the Golden Globes is when the blogs write shit like “the best globes at the golden globes”…or “look at her golden globes at the golden globes”….it is obvious…lacks creativity…is not funny…and if anything…it offends me….

I mean that and that Tina Fey chick hosting it with her awkward girl humor…

The least irritating thing about the golden globes all the big titties I avoid calling Golden Globes so that I’m not like everyone else…

Here’s Sofia Vergara feeding her Tits after midnight in preparation for the Golden Globes cuz we have big expectations for these tits…since they are the reason she’s even going to the Golden Globes….and as much as I don’t like watching girls eat….some girls gain weight in the right spots….and that makes it perfectly ok…

I am not committing to watching to Golden Globes cuz I hate that award shit…you know celebrating our industry ourselves…..It’s masturbatory and I prefer my masturbation videos to have pussy in them….

But I will say…I may…. TWEET IT cuz twitter is my friend….

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Sofia Vergara has big tits. She’s in a one piece bathing suit. She’s pushing 50. She’s scammed the system. Who cares. You do…because your moms didn’t breast feed you, or because the media and porn has made you tit obsessed, or maybe you’re like me, and realize that a Colombian who has made it to the top, unlike all the other Colombians, probably has some amazing cocaine ties…you know so good they open the back door to hollywood….and that…I guess makes her worth her titties weight in semen….cuz a girl with free coke….no matter what she looks like….is my kind of vagina….I’m a hooker like that…

UPDATE – HER TIT FELL OUT ON NEW YEARS EVE ACCORDING TO TMZ AND THEY POSTED THE NON NIPPLE VERSION – HOARDING IT FOR THEMSELVES – YOU KNOW MAXIMIZING THE MONEY THEY MAKE ON THIS SHIT…..OR NOT RELEASING IT – NOT TO MENTION HER TITS LOOK OLD LADY AND LIKE SHIT……AND HER NUDITY IS PROBABLY AVAILABLE ONLINE FROM WHEN SHE WAS AT HER PRIME

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Sofia Vergara’s rocking some optical illusion bathing suit for twitter that I assume she has scientists working for her to decidethe best way to package her old lady ass and huge titties for the public…an investment she doesn’t mind splurging on because she’s been using her tits since her teens to get knocked up….and now that she’s not forced to lick brass poles to pay the rent as a hard up immigrant in miami…and is in fact rich…she can splurge on those important things….and I for one thank Santa for that….

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Sofia Vergara has come a long fucking way from being a broken down 20 year old single mothered faced with stripping or re-marrying rich….so she gets the importance of her ridiculous tits…and how at 40 and an Emmy winner…she owes a lot to them…so she might as well celebrate them and put them on blast on set…cuz really they are all that fucking matter….and I’m thankful for that….

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Sofia Vergara is filming some movie with Sharon Stone and since she’s Sofia Vergara she’s showing off some tits…because without her tits….she would never have been an Emmy winning actress who snuck her way into the bed of the right producer…cuz there are so many other Hispanic women..or even white women who can put on a believable hispanic accent to take her place…

It makes absolutely no sense to me how someone who was a single mother at 20, living as a refugee in Miami…made it to Hollywood star status by 40….her story should have ended drug addicted stripper…..there’s more to this story than we’re being told…but I can tell you one thing…no matter what that story is…it all starts with her tits…

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I have already posted and showcased Sofia Vergara as my favorite thing at the Emmys for some sick reason…..

I genrally hate over 35 year old women, no matter how curvy, exotic, busty, or accented they are…..I can only assume I was won over by her latina spell that I can only assume she had some witch doctor make in some Colombian lab….that lead to this career, and by witch doctor I mean a member of her family who was supplying Hollywood with all its cocaine opening some pretty important doors….it doesn’t matter…because I’m hooked…and that was before I saw thesee pics of her dresse ripped open, busted at the zipper, because her ass is just that fat and tasty, you see cuz even if this shit looks like it was maid for a tacky hispanic graduation, it was probably 10,000 dollars and hand crafted, making the zipper break that much more substantial, cuz if it was some Walmat prom dress shit that it looks like it is, I’d expect this….but the fact that it isn’t just shows how much power that ass has…an ass I want to eat….in hopes of getting some of its powers….

The only unfortunate thing in all this is her underwear….no one wears underwear to these things….unless they are in a mini skirt…so maybe just maybe it was staged….or she’s drippy….

Sexy as fuck regardless.

If this post teaches us one thing….you know one valuable life lesson…is that I can turn hate into love just by seeing a little nudity….that’s all it took for me to change my opinion of her…a broken zipper and a golden fucking ass.

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I am the best anti-celebrity celebrity site on the internet…and in keeping true to my self given title of not giving a fuck about celebrities….except maybe for staring at their tits….not because I am bitter about their fame, fortune, success, or lifestyle….or because i am mad I don’t know them, they don’t know me, or that people aspire to be them and not me….or even because I hate that they don’t fuck me….but because my own life keeps me fucking busy…and real life girls are hotter than actors and just as insecure and striving to succeed at having people watch them…but more accessible…

So I had no idea the Emmy’s were last night…..I am sure I didn’t miss much…

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All I am thinking when watching this bikini video of Sofia Vergara Pepsi back in 1990 when she was 17 is not how hot she was as jailbait, but that she was jailbait in 1990….that’s a fucking lifetime ago….a lifetime that has brought her fame and fortune and some Emmy’s and has brought me pretty much nothing but some STDs and horrible memories, sure…but still a fucking lifetime ago….

I dont even remember 1990 and most girls I have sex with were born in 1990…..making this Sofia Vergara character seriously fucking old….not to mention…I guess she was a late bloomer, or maybe just rockin’ awesome South American discount implants cuz her tits at 17 are not thee tits she has today…

I have no idea why this is hitting the internet today, it’s been on Youtube since 2010 and I am sure I’ve even posted it before , but whatever, I go along with the trends cuz I am a follower…..

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I have no idea what these pictures are from, I just know they were emailed to me claiming to be of Sofia Vergara in her underwear painting a dude, and since I have facial recognition blindness, and everyone looks the same, not just black people, cuz I am not racist….I cannot confirm or deny that they are of her, but I can say they seem fun…

Sure it may be a little too much fun for someone this old…I mean maybe this should have been left in for her 20s, but I guess she was two busy sleeping her way to the top as a single mother with Colombian coke ties that financed her shit….

Becasue she is pushing 50 and that’s a good time to spend napping, knitting and betting on the horses or whatever it is 50 year olds do….but I guess you’re never too old to get half naked if you got a hot body like this….

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