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Archive for the Alessandra Ambrosio Category

2010

26

Jan

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Hot Body in her Bikini Top of the Day

It doesn’t really make any fucking sense to me that a woman who just had a kid looks like this. I know I’ve gone over this at least 10 times but life is repetitive and apparently so am I. I figure she really just couldn’t afford to let herself go after pregnany like all the other North American lazy mothers, because bitch sold her soul to the Victoria’s Secret devil and contractually she has to get back into fighting form, or they won’t release her family they’ve held captive all these years she’s been working to get them back, a risk she wasn’t willing to take because she was loose in the hips and let a dude cum in her and make her debate abortion versus her catholic upbringing.

We’re so use to our bitches getting sloppy and fat after pregnancy, that we’ve just pretty much accepted our fate, especially since we’re overtaken by depression of the fact that we’re now fathers, and our fun is over, so it is just amazing to see Ambrosio and gives us hope that our women take the same commitment after we show them these pictures and make sure she understands that we know she’s a fucking lazy slob making excuses and that bouncing back is possible and that the pact her and her other pregnant friends who gave up on being hot after 9 months of bitching and complaining made, is busted and has no validity…..making women hate this bitch and makes me love the bitch, even though I have no idea what condition her pussy is in, or how much plaster, papier mache and paste has been used to make it look like it is in one piece while wearing a bikini….

That said, here are the pics….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini Top|Hot

2010

25

Jan

Alessandra Ambrosio Paddle Surfs in a Bikini of the Day

Some people save up their money all year to get the chance to go on some really shitty, yet affordable All Inclusive resort. The kind of 2 star resort that has shittier conditions thatn Haiti. I’m talking run down, filled with racist trailer trash, with hepatitis ice cubes in the watered down drinks, only to get diarhea the first day of your trip and all your worldly possessions stolen the second day and a horrible sun burn the third day, setting you up for the worst fucking trip in history, but you won’t admit it because you saved all your money to go on this shit and there’s no way you’ll admit you had a bad time.

Other people get paid 5 times your yearly salary to do a photoshoot in the nice islands that don’t smell like AIDS, that also includes 5 star accommodations, gourmet meals and everything else that you could imagine on you dream vacation….because those people look like Alessandra Ambrosio and not like your wife or any of the trash that has let you put your dick in them. Life is unfair, get over it….

Here she is doing a little paddle surfing…..cuz she’s clearly a faggot….you know since paddle surfing was invented by faggots for faggots like Fubu but less black…even though the only people I knew who ever wore Fubu were white poor kids who got made when I’d tell them shit was made for black people…but you get what I mean….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini|Paddle Surf

2010

15

Jan

Alessandra Ambrosio Lingerie Catalog Pictures of the Day

If you can jerk off to these pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio’s hot mom body in lingerie, you’re either a 14 year old, or a fucking skilled masturbator, because in this era of internet porn I need a hell of a lot more pussy lip to get me going, even if that pussy lip was ravaged and beat the fuck up by passing a baby through it… This photoshopped bullshit just leaves me unsatisfied and annoyed because I want to see what her actual body looks like, because I know shit is pretty fucking good without the bullshit post production shit that makes it look like she’s a fucking plastic sex doll….that said here she is in some lingerie for some catalog….

Bonus – Here are some pictures of Miranda Kerr for what I can only assume is the same catalog and she’s lookin’ alright….

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Catalog|Lingerie

2010

13

Jan

Alessandra Ambrosio in Some Candid Bikini Pics of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio is just one of those girls who really has it going on, she still looks more solid than pretty much any girl I’ve ever seen, except maybe the bitch with the eating disorder and speed addiction who had a real solid body, but her yellow skin, lesions and missing teeth kinda lose out to Ambrosio in the beauty pageant…

I just can’t believe she recenlty shat out a kid and maintained a body like this, it goes again my theory that babies ruin pussy, but then again, we don’t know how much tape she’s got holding her uterus in place….

So here are some candid pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio for some test shoot before the actual photoshoot and the bitch looks amazing.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini

2009

23

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio Practices Bikini Modeling of the Day

The say these are personal pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio, but I doubt the shit. I mean it is possible that Victoria’s Secret has programmed this immigrant to only know, understand and execute model poses the second she gets in a fucking bikini as it is all she knows, and it’s also possible that she’s got a sense of humor about how much of a joke her job is, because even the people paying her can’t believe the price they gives these cunts to just put on a bikini, or maybe these aren’t personal pictures at all, but are just a virgin’s collection of various pictures of her throughout her career, and none of that matters, becaue I’m only posting it because I like bitches in bikinis and never really care about the motivation why they are in a bikini….so here are the pics…

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini|Model

2009

14

Dec

Boring Bikini Model Party You Weren’t Invited to of the Day

Doutzen Kroes and Alessandra Ambrosio were kickin’ it after their really stressful day standing around in a bikini and getting paid hundreds of thousands of dollars, so they hit the bottle….and shit looked really fucking boring. I prefer model parties to end with lesbian sex orgies because they had a little too much to drink….

My only really question is what happened to Adriana Lima? She was always my favorite one and her wholesome viringity was a lot more fun than watching washed up mothers drinkin’ themselves stupid cuz they’ve got nothing better to do with their time while the baby is with the sitter and they’ve got 5 minutes to their fucking self to let loose and play charades or whatever the fuck she’s doing…all this party is missing is for one of these sluts to bust out the Scrabble board….cuz they’re so fucking wild.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Doutzen Kroes

2009

14

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio One Piece Bathing Suit Photoshoot of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio brought her disgusting mom body out in a bathing suit because I guess Victoria’s Secret is contractually obligated to give her work and the whole thing makes me feel really sorry for her husband and his poor planning. He thought he was locking down Alessandra Ambrosio, the hugely successful bikini and lingerie model, but instead he turned her into this. Disgusting.

Here’s the proof that karma’s a fucking bitch…and it is really pictures like this that make me really happy to be me and good about myself…you know with my obese wife and poverty cuz it coulda been worse…I coulda married a supermodel who ended up like this…and by this I mean pretty fucking hot. I suck at life…

BONUS – Here are some actual BIKINI pictures to show you how GROSS she is and really drive my point home….

Pics via Bauer

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bathing Suit|One Piece

2009

10

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio in her Bikini of the Day

Don’t let these pictures fool you because under those bikini bottoms lives a grey, stretched out, used up, thick and calloused, stiched up , wounded and dying vagina that only a new mother can really appreciate, because it is a sign of her new joy.

Sure her body is rockin’ and looks tight, but it definitely doesn’t mean the rest of her is. It’s all some strap and duct tape to hold things together. The same white washin’ trannies use to make you think they don’t have a ball sack, something ambrosio’s vagina now looks like…

Sure this is all assumptions, because I’ve never seen her twat, but it’s truth to me and that’s all that matters.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini

2009

09

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio Doing Victoria’s Secret Photoshoot of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio doing yoga is a pretty good thing, but I find this shit disappointing. This is a Victoria’s Secret shoot but last time I checked Victoria’s Secret made panties and lingerie and shit and bitch is clearly not wearing a fucking see through thong while in her the downward dog or whatever the yoga position so long as I’m under her and she’s using my face as the fucking yoga mat you know just to see if I can still taste the remnants of the baby she just recently birthed…..or at least guage the damage the baby caused with my tongue and loving every fucking second of it.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Photoshoot|Victoria's Secret

2009

30

Nov

Alessandra Ambrosio in her Bikini for Some Magazine of the Day

I know Ambrosio had a baby over a year ago, but she seriously bounced the fuck back. I get that we have no idea what kind of damage the baby actually did to the parts that count, like her vagina and whether fucking her is like fucking a plastic grocery bag, not quite as tightly wrapped as needed to stay fresh, but her body is fucking solid and here she is in some Magazine, because apparently people still read magazines, despite the whole internet thing, probably because cleaning cum off your computer screen is a lot worse and leaves more damage than cumming on a magazine page, taking a picture of it, and putting it on the internet for those weird cumming on model picture fetish sites, before throwing it away, or licking it clean, cuz you don’t believe in waste and because you’re weird like that……and here are the pics.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini