Some perverted friend of mine went to see Machete, and called me 4 times to tell me how you see Lohan’s amazing tit and some Alba strategic nudity, so I figured it was just a matter of time before some virgin loser with a lot of time on his hand and an iphone and a love for celebrity tit went to the movie a few times to capture the perfect split second you see nipple.

I have looked at these pictures, and I am still not sure what is going on in them….but apparently you can see Lohan’s tit with nipple and sometimes that is good enough for me…even if this is some bootleg style piracy where a motherfucker on his iphone needed this as a souvenir of her comeback by bringing it home to jerk off to…because you can’t jerk off in the theater….it’s illegal….at least that’s what my friend learned when he was caught in the backrow at “Stick It”

We all know Lohan has awesome tits, some of us know better than others. She is not afraid to hide the perfection and I’m not scared to look…unfortunately, this isn’t really good enough quality for me to be satisfied, I can’t jerk off to scrambled porn anymore and I’ll have to see the actual movie, which is buying into the bullshit I didn’t want to buy into, but tits, especially nice starlet tit, have that effect on me…

Point of this post…the world needs better pirates.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

Lesbians have a way of turning me off. Even bullshit lesbians who are just lesbians cuz they ran thru their dick supply at a young age and had limited options of where to take their pussy.

The deal lesbians is that they are either rape victims, child molested victims, or fat chicks who can’t get dick, so in turn go to women, cuz women are less judgemental, making them real fucking bitter…and willing to rip off and stomp on any cock they come across, no matter how big or how small it is, they equally discriminate. These are the lesbians behind the feminist movements, the knitting parties in the park, and pretty much embody everything unsexy about lesbianism

Then there are the hot lesbians, who have given up on cock cuz they are either too objectified by cock, they find cock too easy, or in Lohan’s case, they’ve had too much fucking cock and it hasn’t worked out for them….These are the lesbians who are only lesbians because they like masturbating cuz they find themselves really hot, they like getting their pussies eaten cuz it requires little work for their lazy asses, and they like sucking on tit, cuz it reminds them of sucking on their own tit….These lesbians although not real lesbians, but lebsians by choice are not hot cuz lesbian sex is anti-climatic, and because they are generally self-involved cunts….

So seeing Lohan, doing some lesbian bullshit, in no make-up but some trendy lesbian clothes, like the modern take on Lumberjack/construction worker fat lesbians have been rockin’ forever, and sexing it up just doesn’t do it for me, cuz I can smell the pussy juices on her face and hands from here, their whole lesbian cause irritates the fuck out of me…

Girls should only smell like pussy juice from group sex experience, or from their own pussy juices either during masturbation or sex….but not from relationships with other girls who look like Sam “Dog Killer” Ronson….

Lohan needs to go back to flashing cunt and fucking the cast of That 70s Show….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

Lohan’s full beautiful tits look like they are sad…I guess jail and rehab will do that to your soul. Her nipples are doing what happens to every full beautiful tit as it ages, has babies, or gets too fat for its own good…and that’s nipples aimin’ the ground.

I guess on a less important level, she’s still got her PR people pushing her on all of us, and at least they are going with the sheer top while all eyes are on her and she knows it…but like any useless celebrity, washed up and damaged, she’ll eventually disappear…at which point in time…the Ronson/Lohan sex tape will be released, because both those cunts will want to feel what they once felt, when everyone gave a fuck about them….

I shouldn’t be complaining, cuz nipples are nipples, and Lohan nipples although not better than other nipples, are still nipples I have fond memories of, thanks to that late night spent in her hotel room.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

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Lohan’s publicist is probably one of the top in Hollywood, cuz this is Lohan and Lohan has a budget for the shit, despite what people say about her being broke, cuz royalties alone on the work she has done probably makes her a fucking killing and there is no need for her to ever work again. This is Lindsay Lohan, one of the biggest celebrities in the last decade, just not the busiest one when it comes to work…

So I know that everything she does is staged, set up, planned, coordinated, she’s a brand who probably doesn’t even own the rights to her own name anymore….

That’s why this whole Jail thing happened. Did anyone bother looking into whether the court was actually a court and not just a rented courtroom set up to look like an actual courtroom with actors and media outlets paid off to make the lie a reality….seems a lot more likely than going to jail and forced 3 month rehab treatment for a fucking DUI.

It’s all strategy to get her an Academy Award, and here is a recent part of that strategy with some Maxim pictures of her big fat lesbian that aren’t really lesbian titties that were taken right before all this went down, cuz when you are on your way to prison, you gotta make sure you do spreads in dying men’s magazines so that when you’re away, people will have somethingto talk about.

All this to say, she’s got amazing tits….

[IMAGES REMOVED DUE TO COPYRIGHT]

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

I am convinced that Lohan’s team are crafting a strategy to win her an Academy Award. I am convinced the jail and rehab are just tactics to get the bitch in the news and to strike a chord with the public into thinking she’s getting her life together and that the poor girl has a fucked up family and upbringing…..and here she is doing what she can to get it together….but they don’t want their efforts to go unnoticed so every couple of days when she is in lock-up or lockdown or rehab…..they release slutty pics of her and here are some of the latest…

No wait, that’s not Lohan, that’s stills from the Lohan Porno….which is pretty much the same shit only porn chicks are less damaged…..

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

I don’t really know where Lohan found all the time to get all these modeling jobs she’s been popping up in lately, but I am pretty sure it happened before her week spent in prison. I guess this is one of the components to her revamping her image, you know a long with staging a prison sentence and rehab, all in efforts to get back on track in the role of her lifetime as the struggling pornstar Linda Lovelace, that will land her an Academy award, since she’s a household name that has reclaimed having people talk about her in recent weeks, and now this flow of pictures she took is the follow up material to keep the publicity train on track, so that people post the shit, talk about the shit, help her sell leggings, but most importantly start to make people care about her again, so that when all is said and done, she’ll be on top of her game again, when really she should be on top of dick in video, cuz that’s really what people care to watch, see, and appreciate when it comes to Lindsay Lohan….the broken Disney starlet with family issues and addictions is boring if there’s no hardcore porn clips to back it up…but this is as good as it gets today…but I know more will come in cuz otherwise the whole prison tactic was a waste of fucking time….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

The photographer behind these pictures is seriously on a mission to ride Lohan to the fucking top, because all of a sudden he’s become popular, all for taking some bullshit promo shots of Lohan in Inferno as Linda Lovelace, and releasing them strategically when Lohan is peaking in the media for her addictions and fake jail time….

He’s not the only person taking advantage of this time in Lohan’s life or the Linda Lovelace role, this shit is all a publicity stunt to try to get her an Academy award like she was Mickey Rourke rags to riches career-wise and I know it’s obvious, but the question is does the rest of the world….

Here she is in what is going to be the role of her lifetime, the one she’s been prepping for by going to jail for….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

I love the people at Complex. They have been good to me. They have featured me in their magazine. They give me scoops on the hot bitches they do photoshoots with.

I only have two issues with them, first they own Oliva Munn’s website and promote her and help her on her quest to one day be famous and I hate Oliva Munn, and second they won’t admit that the reason they put Lohan on the cover of their mag a day before she goes to jail was something coordinated by her PR person, the same motherfucker who coordinated the fake trial and the fake sentencing, who gave the media something “Lohan” to talk about everyday, cuz without this “going to jail” lie, the world would not be talking about Lohan and that works totally against her strategy of hitting rock bottom before taking on some role as a pornstar, in effort to get the academy award and the whole thing seems to be working….the only unfortunate thing in all this is that she won’t be spending any time in jail tomorrow…you’ll see…shit was all hype…all lies…all to get people talking…and I hope next time she wastes the county resources, it’s when the motherfuckers are trying to revive her after a drug overdose, even though she’s already long gone.

Here’s some Lohan hotness in complex…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

This is the Lohan I like. Sure she’s a little chubby and is showing off fat tits, and the video was only shot a few months ago, cuz I posted the paparazzi version of this shit, but it was a time before all this bullshit fake courtroom drama, back when she realized relaunching her career while being a drunken fool involved getting as many photoshoots showing off her tit, instead of fake jail time and opening up rehab bullshit…this is the Lohan who still answered my calls and spent late nights eating popcorn on the phone letting me listen to her vagina clap, and by late nights eating popcorn on the phone letting me listen to her vagina clap, I mean being medicated to the point that she coulda been doing that but would have no memory of it in the morning. Either way, hot videoshoot.

Here are some of the actual pictures from the shoot.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

I took an art class when I first moved here. It was part of some welfare bullshit that as long as you are taking courses, they keep sending you free money and I figured that free money was better than working, and taking a drawing class would be good cuz the chances that there would be a naked chick as a live model was pretty high, which I found amazing, even though I knew the live models were all hippies with huge bush, old, fat or someone you didn’t want to see naked, but they were a nice change of pace from the gutter strippers at the stripclub I was going to…..cuz shitty fake tits, shitty fake hair, shitty fake tans and bad skin gets repetitive as fuck….when we had to do other assignments that didn’t involve the live models, I would constantly do nun having sex, or engaging in naughty behavior, cuz it was obvious, funny, and offensive to my Italian teacher, but easily passed off as “art”, cuz art is fucking bullshit….so when I saw these pictures of Lohan in Machete dressed like a nun, licking a revolver, I figured I might as well post it…cuz it hits close to home…

Here is the trailer – without Lohan – Cuz the studio is scared to promote the useless tarnished cunt – while I jus think it’s a publicity stunt…to get people talking about Lohan…in some secret society lie that pisses me off….

And as a special bonus to all you idiots, here is a shitty camera pic of my nun art from the drawing class the welfare office made me take years ago…because I figure I should give you a little of my artistic soul…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan