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Archive for the Ellen Category




Bieber and Ellen Make Out With Each Other of the Day

Ellen and Justin Beiber decided to come up with the lesbian prank of them both making out in a bathroom stall…because that’s just the way lesbians fuck….and everyone is freaking out about it, like it’s a wild and crazy thing…but what they should be freaking out about is the fact that Justin Bieber and Ellen look the fucking same…it’s like they are interchangeable and this is a masturbation scene…and I don’t know if it is worse for Ellen to look like a Tween boy…or for a Tween boy to look like a seasoned Lesbian in her 50s…but I do know that whatever going on here in this video..is the devil’s work…and freaking me the fuck out…

Posted in:Ellen




Ellen’s Hot Lesbian Tits of the Day

Ok, I probably should have said Ellen’s not so hot lesbian tits, because this is the kind of body that makes lesbianism a horrible fantasy, not that’s lesbianism should ever be a fantasy unless it involves you in the room with the two girls, which automatically makes it not so lesbian, or if you are a rape or molestation victim scared of cock cuz of the pain it caused you, cuz Lebsianism is boring and no matter how hard I try, how does it end. There is no closure, there is no cumshot, and why if they are lesbian, do they use dick shaped things, doesn’t that just mean they want dick inside them, but can’t bring themselves to it, and it all just doesn’t matter, cuz most lesbians look like dudes and aren’t playing the lesbian trophy wife cuz it is good for their career….and yes, I just did a post on Ellen, the woman I don’t know is a women…wearing her child molestor shoes and ruining Covergirl Make-Up’s brand as girls don’t want to look like Ellen and I realize how horrible an idea this was, but it’s too goddamn late now.

Posted in:Ellen




Lindsay Lohan Clears Up Some Rumors on Ellen of the Day

Looks like there was a lesbian party on Ellen, at least more of a lesbian party than usual, I mean Ellen is so much of a lesbian that I feel like I turn more and more into a lesbian every time I watch the shit. I mean I’ve never sat through a full show, but if I did, I’d probably run into the kitchen and chop off my dick and put on a bra and go out to get my newly cut pussy licked, before bleeding to death and dying.

Either way, Lohan is clearing up the rumors about her break-up, I think it’d be nice for you to listen to her represent herself instead of listening to the rumors, while I imagine getting my pussy fucked by Ellen with a strap-on.

Posted in:Ellen|Lesbian Party|Lindsay Lohan




Ellen and Britney Spears Go Caroling of the Day

Ellen and Britney went out to celebrate Ellen’s lesbian Christmas by going door to door harassing people. When I first read the email subject of “Ellen and Britney got Caroling” I thought I was going to click into some dirty video of them going down on some chick named Carol, or maybe Caroling is some lesbian term for fisting because fisting was perfected by some chick named Carol, but that’s just because Ellen is like the lesbian den mother who recruits and takes care of the newly admitted starlets to the lesbian ward, but I was wrong, they just went to people houses, sang and danced and acted a fool and the only thing of value in all this is when Ellen and Britney do the slutty Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer dance for some old dude. I know Ellen and Britney knocking at my door randomly is the first sceen of the porno I have written about them in my head, just minutes before Rosie shows up with some junk food to fuel or minute and a half of passion, because I don’t last under those really hot circumstances, but I guess this guy wasn’t as good at closing the deal as I am (in my fantasy).

This segment of the Ellen show should bring some joy to your cold, lonley life. Grinch. Especially when Britney can’t sing but does giggles when she says “the lord has cum” because she knows all about that shit, she is a mother of 2, or maybe when she scarfs down a cookie knowing that’s the shit that ruined her going back in her. Slut.

Here’s Part 1

Here’s Part 2

Posted in:Britney|Caroling|Christmas|Ellen




Audrina Gets Dunked By Ellen in a Bikini of the Day

Daytime television just got a little more Lesbian Pornographic, while Audrina from The Hills showed up to the Ellen show in a bikini, to get dunked for charity, a charity challenge that Ellen came up with that reminds me of the time I tried to start a Blow-Job-A-Thon, where people would give me money depending on the number of blowjobs I could land in a month, that 100 dollars I tricked people to give me was well spent on trying to get those blowjobs, which I wasn’t very successful at doing or the time I went oor to door pretending I was collecting money for sick kids, but instead used it on drinking, but way more lesbian.

The highlight of the video is Ellen awkwardly offering to warm up Audrina, but pulling back on it because the clit boner in her pants would have probably ended up in Audrina’s mouth, and instead Ellen chose the dignified route of keeping her soft-on in her pants, and taking out that sexual frustration on throwing baseballs to get the bitch as wet as she was throwing the balls. It’s all really inappropriate to think that kids watch this shit, like it ain’t a thing. The morals and values they are learning, like that a lesbian can have her own TV show and get girls in bikinis on the show for her own sexual perversions could really fuck shit up, but instead of censoring her like they should, or having her pretend that she likes dick, like Oprah and Rosie before she came out, they just pay her lots of money to keep her lesbian mouth shut so that she doesn’t start some lesbian protest or lesbian campaign about how whatever network she is on is homophobic and I guess that’s a good thing for you Audrina fans….

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Bikini|Dunked|Ellen




Ellen Trying to Voice Her Useless Lesbian Opinion of the Day

John McCain doesn’t like Gays marrying, probably because he’s 80 and a republican and gays didn’t exist in the 20s and still don’t exist to republicans. The only reason I am posting this is because Ellen comes at John McCain with some emotional drivel about how she thinks she’s isolated and it hurts her feelings that she couldn’t get gay married up until recently and as the leader of the lesbian movement, should probably consider coming at him with some tangible logical arguments other than how it makes her feel like the last one picked for the lesbian softball game and I am disappointed.

Either way, I agree that everyone deserves the right to legally bind their love even if it’s homo, But I do know that these gays have know idea what they are getting themselves into. Marriage isn’t all the media makes it out to be, it’s something that people think they have to do it after college otherwise they aren’t real women and guys agree because of love, lack of anything better to do and to avoid arguments and enter phase one of being good little members of middle-management society.

What I do know is that after having been married, I think it’s safe to say that I wish this shit was illegal for straight people too.

Posted in:Ellen|Gay Marriage




Heidi Klum Makes Lesbian Jokes with Lesbians of the Day

Heidi Klum was on Ellen today and they decided to get to the kitchen, I guess now that they’ve made it, they are going back to their womanly duties and headin’ back to their home in the kitchen to make the food for the family….well at least Heidi is, Ellen is too busy adjusting the prosthetic penis in her pants while tying a tie and shaving her mustache while reading the paper….

Either way, they are making meatballs and the obvious ball jokes came up about balls because let’s face it, when you’re making meatballs, what else is there to joke about. I am all for obvious jokes, they are always the easiest to come up with and the only jokes I know and whenever I drop them everyone gives me dirty looks, but that’s usually because I am pissing myself at the same time. It’s part of the act.

Either way, Heidi asks Ellen if she’s ever had balls, and Ellen says it’s been a while because she’s a lesbian….get it? I think Heidi was probably referring to in her pants, because that bitch is more masculine than you. It looks like Ellen just busted nut all over her lesbian pant suit like a 14 year old boy with his first playboy…

Posted in:Balls|Ellen|Heidi Klum|Lesbian




Christina Aguilera’s Tits on Ellen of the Day

I make a point of not watching Ellen, maybe because I don’t own a TV, but also because she’s fucking annoying and I hate lesbians. I only have patience for them when they are dyking out in front of me and don’t look like Ellen.

Either way, Christina Aguilera made an appearance on her show and her tits are exploding out of her dress and you can tell that Ellen’s got a total soft on for those tits. She’s acting even more awkward as she normally does trying to lure that new mom pussy into her dressing room….if it doesn’t work out, at least she has this footage to run one out to and so do you….

I like new mother’s and their new tits and that’s part of the reason I am banned by numerous coffee shops in my area, because it turns out that during afternoons when real people are at work, bitches on maternity leave meet their other new mother friends, because some obnoxious BFF’s like doing everything together especially when it means having babies together so that not only can they enjoy this new stage of life together but they can raise their babies to be BFF’s and grow up to have a lifelong lasting friendship just like them. Either way, they shoot the shit about being new mothers and how raw their nipples are and how their sex lives have suffered or are better or how they are planning on losing the pregnancy weight or how much cuter or more advanced their baby is because they are competitive whores all while breast feeding….and I get to watch.

It’s my daytime porno and it’s free, just like these clips of X-Tina.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Ellen|Tits