Rich kid Lana Del Rey has never been hot…she has always been dumpy…but her music, that I guess she didn’t even really produce, becausse prior to being Lana Del Rey she was trying to be a famous singer and failing because she couldn’t sing, but thanks to her billionaire dad, they were able to hire the right guy for the job, who ended up creating a whole fucking movement that she was the leader of, and that she probably realizes she can’t really recreate as it was just good timing.

I am not going to discount her music, I am not a musician and I don’t know what is good or bad, but I do know there was something interesting in what she was doing considering it was pop and pop is usually just straight up shit or hip hop for white people…

I will just focus on what I know and that is that her bikini body is better suited for a Burkini…thick thighs and cankles on skin so white she’s invisible…it’s gross…But at least she’s aware…that’s probably why she’s got the shirt on….we should thank her for that.

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I don’t think Lana Del Rey works out…

I do think she’s a strategic rich kid who played tormented at the time that kids needed a tormented person to look up to….

When really her billionaire dad just threw money at a music producer who came up with a strategy or a sound that would best utilize her inability to actually sing….

But that doesn’t mean I think her music is shite, or that she doesn’t deserve the fame and fortune she’s made, I mean I am happy to see someone like her succeed over that cunt Taylor Swift or the devil incarnate KATY PERRY….I think it’s great to have some variety in pop trash….

It just means that she should probably work out….a 30 year old ass shouldn’t look this bad in jeans…and it’s not like she doesn’t have down time, probably all the time….that could be used working out…she lives on the fucking beach you know….get it together woman.

Posted in:Lana Del Rey|SFW

Lana Del Rey is on the cover of a magazine – in a bikini – hiding her gut – because she’s normally kind of fat…

I like use her and her success as a reminder that you don’t need to be all that hot, you don’t need to be all that good, you just need a dad with a lot of money who feels guilty you have a drug addiction to hire you a producer, who has a vision, to record her tormented love songs in a way that people like enough to buy into…so if you’ve got a rich dad and you’re not Lana Del Rey – you’re doing it all wrong- because you could be…it can be bought…and it was…

Posted in:Lana Del Rey|SFW

Lana Del Rey revolutionized music a few years ago…but not really, but her sad songs were actually worth listening to while crying, raping, or doing whatever it is that you do…

She was a fascinating tormented story of rich girl, who was raised in Lake Placid by a rich guy, only to move to the city to have a rebellious drug addiction, only to have her dad hire a producer and make gold with his otherwise annoying, depressing, failure of a daughter…

Now she’s in a bikini outside her Malibu house, she probably would have had without the music career thanks to being raised rich…but she can say she did it on her own…even though other runaways don’t get record producers, they get AIDS..and die…

I don’t care that her ass isn’t amazing…she’s a singer not a model..so I’m into the fat ass…it’s all about context.

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Lana Del Rey is not a model, she’s not a bikini model, she’s not even a plus sized model….

She’s a “talented” performer who managed to put out some interesting sad songs, and make some interesting sad videos, very stylized and California, despite being from small ski town Lake Placid, just one hour away from me….

So she’s allowed to be fat in her bikini. I give her that…

From ex rich kid addict, to star…let her feed her sads with cake…

I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is Yes…I decide when it is ok for a girl to be fat and insecure hiding her belly – or not….

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Lana Del Rey has zero sex appeal, but her songs are just so on point, meaning sex appeal doesn’t matter….

When she’s showing her thigh in obscure market Vogue magazine, it’s higher concept, less sensationalized, or desperate than someone who also has no sex appeal, but has hit songs…Lady Gaga…

I call this “Straight from Lake Placid Private Schools…”….because that’s pretty much her story, where all the inner torment happened…small Olympic towns in upstate New York that vistors would say “this is so cute, it’s like out of a movie or even Europe, OMG they even have a Starbucks”…but beneath that Starbucks on mainstreet surface…there is darkness..sultry voiced darkness…that is Lana Del Rey…

Posted in:Lana Del Rey|SFW