Slut Archives - Page 11 of 16 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

26

Oct

I am – Shauna Sand Dressed Classy of the Day

I caught my wife cleaning the toilet with my toothbrush the other day, she’s creative like that and probably saw it on some soap opera or shit she watches on tv all day. I was actually really happy to see her cleaning for the first time in the last 5 years together. But then I realized that Paypal has all my money and I can’t buy a new one. I am not sure what I did to piss her off, it may have been coming home with a pair of panties from a girl I convinced to take off her panties in the club and bragging to my wife about how amazing of an experience it was by making her smell them to see that they weren’t clean, but none of that matters. What does matter is that my mouth tastes like I’ve been eating shit and yes, I know what shit tastes like, it’s a long story that I don’t want to relive.

Speakin’ of shit here are some pictures of Shauna Sand at some event dressed as classy as this whore can get with a Chanel bracelet on. She’s the kind of girl you could probably convince to let you shit on them because it would be taking your sex life to the next level, when in reality you just hate her for being such a whore and shitting on her is the only way to make yourself feel better about things.

Either way, the good news is that washed up ex-Playmates may be the only people dressed like this on the daily, but it’s Halloween, so get ready for everyday girls to be doin’ the Shauna Sand, even though they’ve probably never heard of her. All the madness starts in a few hours.

Related Posts:

Shauna Sand Nipple in a Dress
Shauna Sand’s Implant Nipple
Shauna Sand See Through Shirt

Shauna Sand Sex Tape Clips Exclusive

2007

24

Oct

I am – Danielle Lloyd Likes Skiing in Bikinis of the Day

1 Comment »

All this losing all my money shit’s killing me. I think I just shat out my liver or something that looked like my liver. It’s either stress or the ebola virus, either way I am fucked. But I figured you shouldn’t suffer because I am suffering. We only have a limited time together, so I gotta make the best of it. That’s how much I like you and because corporate america can take my money but they can’t take my funny, or my bad poetry….

I have been hustling facebook the last couple of days and I came across a comment from some girl I don’t know that said she got a 63% on her test so I wrote:

I hope it wasn’t your “What you look like naked” test…cuz that would be depressing. Based on your pics, I woulda given you at least a 65%…baby…

So do you come here often?

Love

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Either way, here are some pictures of:Danielle Lloyd, doing what she does, which is pretty much rock a bikini everywhere she goes, even to the ski hill, because that’s how committed she is to her useless career that’s only going to last another 15 lbs or 5 years, whichever comes first, so she’s gotta bank everything she can, it’s gotta last her a lifetime.

Related Posts:

Danielle Lloyd is a Hairy Armpit Lesbian
Danielle Lloyd Ass Flash
Danielle Lloyd Green Bikini Wedgie
Danielle Lloyd’s Bad Ass in a White Bikini

Posted in:Bikini|Danielle Lloyd|Skiing|Slut|Unsorted

2007

22

Oct

I am – Kim Kardashian’s TIts Blow Candles and Not Dick of the Day

5 Comments »

I hate the word Douche and Douchebag with a fucking passion. I don’t know why this shit got picked up so aggressively the last couple of years because people have been saying it a long time. The only really experience I have with douche bags is when I worked at a Pharmacy and some old fucking lady came up to me and asked where she could find the 3 Gallon douche bags. I didn’t really know how to react so I took her big vagina to the douche section and could only find her the 1/2 gallon douche bag. She was furious and I said she could just use the half gallon one 12 times and she wasn’t impressed.

Either way, I accidentally dropped the word douche this weekend for the first time, because I guess I am like you and easily influenced by the media and people around me, and when I realized that shit came out of my mouth, I wanted to kill myself.

Speaking of suicide, here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian celebrating her birthday with her tits at Les Deux in Los Angeles. I don’t know how old she is, but another year older means another year closer to death, and let’s face it she might as well just speed up the process because she’s a waste of fucking space and that would only prove she’s not too stupid to realize it. But I do like watching her blow out her candles on her cakes that are even more obnoxious that she is even though it’s not as exiting as her blowing black men, but it’s good enough for monday morning entertainment.

Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian’s Bikini Pictures
Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass
Kim Kardashians Big Breast Weekend
Kim Kadashian Wears a Bra

Posted in:Birthday|Kim Kardashian|Slut|Tits|Unsorted

2007

22

Oct

I am – Kim Kardashian's TIts Blow Candles and Not Dick of the Day

No Comments »

I hate the word Douche and Douchebag with a fucking passion. I don’t know why this shit got picked up so aggressively the last couple of years because people have been saying it a long time. The only really experience I have with douche bags is when I worked at a Pharmacy and some old fucking lady came up to me and asked where she could find the 3 Gallon douche bags. I didn’t really know how to react so I took her big vagina to the douche section and could only find her the 1/2 gallon douche bag. She was furious and I said she could just use the half gallon one 12 times and she wasn’t impressed.

Either way, I accidentally dropped the word douche this weekend for the first time, because I guess I am like you and easily influenced by the media and people around me, and when I realized that shit came out of my mouth, I wanted to kill myself.

Speaking of suicide, here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian celebrating her birthday with her tits at Les Deux in Los Angeles. I don’t know how old she is, but another year older means another year closer to death, and let’s face it she might as well just speed up the process because she’s a waste of fucking space and that would only prove she’s not too stupid to realize it. But I do like watching her blow out her candles on her cakes that are even more obnoxious that she is even though it’s not as exiting as her blowing black men, but it’s good enough for monday morning entertainment.

Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian’s Bikini Pictures
Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass
Kim Kardashians Big Breast Weekend
Kim Kadashian Wears a Bra

Posted in:Birthday|Kim Kardashian|Slut|Tits|Unsorted

2007

15

Oct

I am – Hilary Duff Nipples and Stupid Tights of the Day

6 Comments »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Here are some pictures of Hilary Duff with some erect nipples in a stupid Jewish Outfit of the day, only she took some kind of slutty twist on it with some slutty tights under her slutty dress, but I am all about sluts because all girls are sluts and I am into vagina, so it works for me.

I realize that I am a little too abrasive when it comes to sluts because girls don’t like that I think they are all sluts. I was in the coffee shop talking to some gay dude about how all chicks love cocaine because they are insecure and it makes them feel good about themselves and that’s the same reason why they like male attention, because it’s some kind of empowering shit that makes them feel like they are worth something. So I start going off on this rant and this old feminist bitch next to me who is listening to me go off, gets up and in my face and starts yelling at me about how disgusting I am and how I am a woman hater. I told her that it’s the opposite, I actually love women and love the fact that they are sluts because otherwise I’d have nothing to jerk off to or on. Then I asked if her if she was into anal and she stormed off. I guess she tried it once and it hurt too much and hasn’t been able to get over that pain. Slut.

Here are those pictures of Hilary’s hard nipples, I love that she is trying to cover those fuckers up with whatever that Stuff by Duff in her hand is, like she doesn’t want us all lookin at her tits, even though I know deep down inside she loves the attention.

Related Posts:

Hilary Duff’s Wet and Has Hard Nipples Pictures
Lohan Hiding Her Fat Ass and Stomach in a Jewish Outfit
Mischa Barton in a Jewish Outfit
Lohan and Michelle Trachtenberg in a Jewish Outfit of the Day

2007

11

Oct

I am – Penelope Cruz Sluttin Out in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

I am all about spanish chicks. I don’t know why but I think it’s gotta do with fear. They are passionate people and when you wrong them they go fucking crazy and I guess the whole getting stabbed in my sleep for trying to get another girl to show me her tits makes me feel really loved because I would never kill anyone for anyone, I just don’t care enough about anyone to bother, but knowing that a girl is willing to go psycho for me is makes my heart go pitter-patter.

I met a hot Spanish girl last night who knew about the site. It was a bit of an ego boost because I didn’t realize anyone actually read this shit and I was right, she landed on it by accident and never re-visited, but she still remembered the name and that kinda gives me a boner because it means more hot girls are out there and hopefully they are a little sluttier than this one because she was too busy being hot to let me convince her to show me her vagina. In all reality I was scared to ask because she’s Spanish and I didn’t want to get stabbed…..but I did make her whisper sweet nothings in her native tongue, unfortunately not the kind of tonguing I’m into….

Here are some Penelope Cruz using her tongue in her bikini with some boyfriend.

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Penelope Cruz in a Bikini on the Beach
Penelope Cruz Yellow Bikini
Penelope Cruz’s Cousin Topless
Monica Cruz in a Bikini

Posted in:Bikini|Boyfriend|Penelope Cruz|Slut|Unsorted

2007

03

Oct

I am – Vanessa Hudgen’s Political T-Shirt of the Day

2 Comments »

Some dude who is serving your country emailed me to tell me that he loves my stepLINKS. I was offended that he didn’t read my actually posts, but remembered that either does anyone else so I tried to look at the positive and felt like I was doing my part for the poor fuckers fighting for your government in Iraq and dying for some war that is putting your country into bankruptcy. Reality is that Bankruptcy isn’t so bad. I knew a guy who racked up 60,000 dollars of credit card debt and loans and shit and decided to not pay his bills and the only thing he lost was his car because he spent all that money on drinking and gambling and couldn’t get a credit card for 7 years, so it’s not a big deal and an easy way to party hard for a few months, but I guess people dying is and I hope my stepLINK fan isn’t one of them, because he’s obviously the coolest motherfucker out there.

Anyway, Vanessa Hudgens is out pretending she’s with it and cares about the world by wearing some Peace Now shirt, when her real concerns are making her hair appointment and trying to get her gay boyfriend hard for her when she’s not too busy taking naked pictures of herself for people who release that shit to the internet. She’s acting all high and mighty when she’s probably an uneducated high school drop out even though she’s on a show about high school which means that there is irony in her t-shirt and in her career and in her relationship, making this Vanessa Hudgens slut way more complex than I ever thought.

Point of all this is to say, Support Your Troops because there will never be peace, this war will be going on for the rest of all of our lives. Good times.

Vanessa Hudgens Party Pictures
Vanessa Hudgens Bikini Pictures
Vanessa Hudgens Self-Shot Underwear Pictures
Vanessa Hudgens Bikini Pictures
Vanessa Hudgens Nude Pictures

Posted in:Ironic|Slut|T-Shirt|Unsorted|Vanessa Hudgens

2007

03

Oct

I am – Vanessa Hudgen's Political T-Shirt of the Day

No Comments »

Some dude who is serving your country emailed me to tell me that he loves my stepLINKS. I was offended that he didn’t read my actually posts, but remembered that either does anyone else so I tried to look at the positive and felt like I was doing my part for the poor fuckers fighting for your government in Iraq and dying for some war that is putting your country into bankruptcy. Reality is that Bankruptcy isn’t so bad. I knew a guy who racked up 60,000 dollars of credit card debt and loans and shit and decided to not pay his bills and the only thing he lost was his car because he spent all that money on drinking and gambling and couldn’t get a credit card for 7 years, so it’s not a big deal and an easy way to party hard for a few months, but I guess people dying is and I hope my stepLINK fan isn’t one of them, because he’s obviously the coolest motherfucker out there.

Anyway, Vanessa Hudgens is out pretending she’s with it and cares about the world by wearing some Peace Now shirt, when her real concerns are making her hair appointment and trying to get her gay boyfriend hard for her when she’s not too busy taking naked pictures of herself for people who release that shit to the internet. She’s acting all high and mighty when she’s probably an uneducated high school drop out even though she’s on a show about high school which means that there is irony in her t-shirt and in her career and in her relationship, making this Vanessa Hudgens slut way more complex than I ever thought.

Point of all this is to say, Support Your Troops because there will never be peace, this war will be going on for the rest of all of our lives. Good times.

Vanessa Hudgens Party Pictures
Vanessa Hudgens Bikini Pictures
Vanessa Hudgens Self-Shot Underwear Pictures
Vanessa Hudgens Bikini Pictures
Vanessa Hudgens Nude Pictures

Posted in:Ironic|Slut|T-Shirt|Unsorted|Vanessa Hudgens

2007

26

Sep

I am – Kristin Cavallari Dressed Like a Slut of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some Kirstin Cavallari pictures from the set of some movie she’s working on. Yeah, it’s hard to believe that she’s working on a movie but I can only assume it will be one of the shittiest movies ever made….

I went to a strip club recently and when I was there the girl was wearing a similar outfit to Cavallari’s. She was in cut off jean shorts and had a push up bikini top and she looked like she was pretty hot, until the clothes came off and I realized she was dumpy as fuck. I am not into discriminating bitches for being dumpy, because all pussy is worth at least lookin’ at, but when she got on stage she was a wreck of a performer. She kept tripping and falling all over herself. When she did her pole tricks she kept hitting her head on the ground and she almost kicked the dude I was with in the face. She got on all fours to do the booty bounce because it’s popular but couldn’t manage it and just looked like she was flexing her ass muscles and lookin at a flexed chick ass is one of the least sexy things out there. There was nothing hot about the performance and I laughed at least twice.

I like to think Kristin Cavallari is a lot like that stripper. She’s not that talented or good at what she does, but she doesn’t realize it and still gets on the screen for people to watch and laugh at, but when she’s sitting around in a push up bikini top and short cut off jean shorts, I got no problem lookin’ at her tits….

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Kristin Cavallari Bikini Pics
Kristin Cavallari Facebook Pics
Audrina Partridge From The Hills Bikini Pics
Lauren Conrad Bikini Pics

2007

24

Sep

I am – Miley Cyrus is Pregnant of the Day

2 Comments »

So a little life lesson for all you teenagers or parents of teenagers out there is that if you or your daughter dresses like this in public it’s just a matter of time before you’ll be driving her to the STD clinic and the Abortion Clinic because no matter what people say, suggestive clothing breeds slutty girls and more and more girls are dressing sluttier and sluttier every year, which is good on the eyes but also good for Abortion Clinic doctors and Birth Control Pill Manufacturers….

Miley Cyrus is reportedly knocked up and keeping the baby, she is 15 years old and although 15 year old pregnant chicks is a scary fucking thought, I don’t think that it’s trashy. When I was 15, I was fucking without condoms on or birth control pills. Shit just felt good and I was too excited to bust not to bother thinking of the consequences. Reality is that I couldn’t really have ever knocked up the women I was involved with though, because they hadn’t gotten their periods yet or they were already too old to get pregnant. I kinda like rollin’ on both ends of the spectrum….

Either way, like a good Christian country girl, she is going to keep it and I say that if God made her fertile enough to get pregnant in the first place, then she’s obviously got no choice in the matter. I was sitting on a park bench the other day and I saw a group of 15 year old girls playing with a ball. I thought to myself for a split second that these girls have gone through the bulk of puberty. There bodies won’t be changing all that much more, they have their tits, they have their hips, they have their periods, but they still like playing with balls in the park….meaning sometimes your body moves a little quicker than your brain does, let’s just call this one of those moments…because having a baby is going to suck for her. I can safely say that Billy Ray and his Achy Breaky Heart will be the acting parent in the situation.

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Christina Aguilera Pregnancy Nipples
Nicole Richie’s Pregnant TIts
Alena Seredova Is Pregnant on the Runway

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