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Archive for the Slut Category

2008

19

Jun

Tera Patrick at some High Times Party of the Day

3 Comments »

Tera Patrick is on the cover of High Times magazine, that can be found in News Stands Nationwide today, if you’re into shitty quality magazine that you only support because in some weird way you think you are supporting your cause as a pot head or some shit, like smoking weed is a fucking subculture that needs a fucking magazine, with girls in it and tips on how to grow shit, well the truth is that you’d have to be fucking high to find this Tera Patrick slut hot. She looks worse than most tranny whores I see and it looks like bitch swallowed her fucking chin along with a couple of gallons of cum. If you’re not high and digging these pictures than you are gay and there’s nothing wrong with being gay but there is something wrong with being straight and attracted to this disgusting mess in her shitty lingerie that makes her clown lookin’ face more like it belongs in a circus, and less like it belongs in my fantasies.

Posted in:Hightimes|Slut|Tera Patrick

2008

10

Jun

Shauna Sand is the Classiest of the Day

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I am a pretty materialistic person and I figure that if you drive a Benz, no matter how trashy you’re no hipped, disgusting plastic surgery ridden prostitute lookin’ body is, you are still high society by my standards, like the other day when I saw some dude got out of his Porsche with some slag with fake tits and ass exposing shorts and trashy stripper shoes, the last thing I thought about was that he either won the lottery or was some kind of pimp, drug dealer, loan shark or mobster who only had that car because he was a sleazy piece of shit. As far as I am concerned, Shauna Sand enjoys croquet, high tea time and most importantly the long drive out to her villa where she is an avid fox hunter.

Posted in:Classiest|Shauna Sand|Slut

2008

06

Jun

Kat Von D is Inked Up in a Bikini Top of the Day

1 Comment »

I am still drunk from my drinking demonstration at a the local bar where I managed to outdo myself as I always do just to prove every single person in my life that I will not amount to nothing and I am not a failure. I am a fuckin’ hero to some people and those people are pretty much me and only when I am too drunk to know better.

On the way home I saw this slammin’ body in a spandex white dress that barely covered her banging ass and a pair of patent leather hooker boots that went up past her knee. I realized she was a street whore, but not one that I had ever been with before but bitch looked too good to be giving 50 dollar blowjobs. When I got closer to her she called me over and told me that she had given me a lap dance about 6 months ago and she remembered me because I gave her my email address to make her internet famous, which is a lie I tell all the strippers to get a free song out of them. She also remembered my firm grip that I had on her nipples, but I won’t get into that.

She ended up quickly going into her story about how she got wasted and let her ex-boyfriend tattoo her face and the club she worked at fired her. She was forced to turn to the street but doesn’t have a pimp and is pretty much workin’ freelance and in the last 3 months she’s developed a serious crack habit and that she needed 20 dollars, I was tempted to save her but figured that she got herself into her own mess and could have been doing so much more with her life, like charging business men 500 dollars to go out to dinner with her like a real escort with a body like that would.

Either way, I don’t think Kat Von D did the face tattoo that ruined my stripper turned street walker’s life, but it looked pretty much as shitty as her tattoos do, the major difference between the 2 is that I’d be willing to fuck my stripper turned street whore without a condom before ever considering fucking this Kat Von D chick, but that’s just because I have a feeling this Kat Von D chick has a cock and I haven’t really moved into that kind of thing yet.

Posted in:Bikini Top|Kat Von D|Slut

2008

29

May

Lydia Hearst’s Personal Sex in the City After Party Pics of the Day

3 Comments »

I like to hate on Sex in the City as much as I can because I think it does bad thing to women as a species, but what I didn’t mention was the good things that it does to a woman as an individual and that is that it makes her horny and someone who puts out because the show programs them to think shit’s empowering. I remember being sucked into a Sex in the City party at some chick’s house about 10 years ago. I remember drinking beer while the host of the party made her fancy cocktails for her and her friends. By the end of the marathon, we were the only 2 people left at the party because there was still booze and I don’t leave a party until the last drop is consumed. Either way, the first chance bitch had, she jumped me like I was some successful, well dressed motherfucker, when in reality, I was just the only cock in the room. I ended up having unprotected sex with her where she asked me to finish on her face, and that is the shit that only comes when a girl watches sluts in Sex in the City and not sluts in porn. So if you’re a dude wanting to get laid, you gotta throw some Sex in the City parties, the only downside to that is that all the girls you invite will think you’re gay, but if you play it right, that non-threatening stance is key to having unprotected sex where she asks you to cum in her face.

Here are some pictures I stole from Facebook of Lydia Hearst at the Sex in the City Premiere afterparty and she may not fully be slutting out, but she definitely is giving us a whole lot of tongue and I hear that tongue is the gateway to unprotected sex that ends with you cumming on the sluts face.

Posted in:After Party|Lydia Hearst|Sex in the City|Slut

2008

23

May

Miley Cyrus’ Slutty Personal Pics of the Day

15 Comments »

I still get hate mail every couple of days for calling this product of Disney a little slut who is lying to us because she doesn’t want it to ruin her career. So while she’s tingling in the pants to show all the cute boys in her class or neighborhood all the really exciting things the produces of Disney taught her how to do with her mouth every time she went to their office after hours to collect her paycheck and talk about future mutually beneficial endeavors, she has to pretend that she’s a church goer and when she’s retaining her virginity because it’s in her contract with Disney, she’s letting homies do her up the ass because it’s the grey area that won’t get her fired and taking slutty pics of herself for her internet boyfriends.

These are the pics and I am posting them because they aren’t naked and won’t get me arrested. It’s news motherfuckers, just call me Annie Lebovitz…because it’s safe to say that those half naked pics she took of Miley were Miley’s idea.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Personal Pics|Slut

2008

15

May

Sarah Harding’s Hot Outfit of the Day

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If you don’t know who Sarah Harding is, you are probably not the only person out there because she’s in some Spice Girls cover band from the UK that no one really gives a fuck about called Girls Aloud. These are some pictures of her out partying, because when you are in a useless Spice Girls cover band that no one cares about, you don’t have the pressure of having to tour, record or even to promotional events, you kinda just ride on the advances the record companies give you and go to all the parties that you can while people still care enough to ask each other whether the slut in the corner with the bodyguard is famous or not, then play drinking games to figure out who the fuck she is, until one of them gets drunk enough to ask the bouncer who she is and realize when they are told that she’s a total fuckin’ nobody.

Posted in:Sarah Harding|Slut

2008

07

May

Madonna’s Old and Tired Publicity Stunt of the Day

5 Comments »

Looks like Madonna’s trying to get attention like every chubby girl at the bar who convinces her girlfriends to kiss her in front of a group of drunk dudes because they like the attention only in Madonna’s case the chubby girl is more attractive. It’s probably in hopes of selling records where as the fat girl is just doing it in hopes of finding love and acceptance. I can’t imagine Madonna’s trying to shock us with this, considering she’s done this shit in the past but she is old and out of touch so maybe she doesn’t realize that we are so desensitized to girl on girl and see it on a daily basis on the internet so the only affect this is having on us is a negative one. I know that seeing an old muscular woman doing anything sexual with a girl, even if it’s staged bullshit is making me feel like denouncing out lesbian fantasies because they aren’t two hot young coeds experimenting, but more like one muscular mom trying too hard with some girl she’s paid to do this and it isn’t very convincing.

Posted in:Madonna|Slut

2008

29

Apr

Jeremy Piven’s Got a Hot Slut of the Day

22 Comments »

Jeremy Piven proves to the world that despite being overweight, bald and old, you can still get prime pussy, so long as you star on a TV show and treat everyone around you like shit because you think you are more famous than you are. This fake titty whore is definitely on some climbing the ladder shit, where Piven is the first wrung and the good news about that is that it doesn’t really matter what wrung you are as long as you are a wrung because when this bitch moves on to more important dick to further her career, there will be 100 new girls who are just as hot willing to jump through the hoops and by hoops I mean on your dick, because that’s just the way things are when you’re semi-famous and overpaid for offering the world nothing more than playing a useless role on a cable show, because these kinds of girls just over-achieving sluts but sluts nonetheless. So look at these pics and accept the fact that you made a shitty career move by taking that job at the factory when you should have swallowed your sexuality and taken your shot at acting because despite all the hot pussy and money, it’s still a career for homos.

Posted in:Bikini|Jeremy Piven|Slut

2008

22

Apr

Jessica Simpson Sluts Out With Food of the Day

4 Comments »

I never really incorporated sex into food, except for the occasional time I convinced whatever girl I was with to shove a beer bottle in her cooch, but that always took too much energy and insertion shit is pretty gross cuz you don’t know where the fuck the found object came from and seeing a condom on anything makes it look ridiculous and unsexy, especially when that anything is a bottle, food, or whatever the fuck bitch is shoving up in her.

My wife recently wanted to bring food into our sex life that I like to think is non-existent but sometimes I fuck up and give into my natural urges, but in all fairness food’s not so much a fetish for her, it just seems like more of a hobby she really digs, so the food is only licked off each other when she spills the shit and can’t let a morsel go to waste. I wonder if that’s how you spell mosel. It’s a pretty gay word.

Here’s Jessica Simpson singing for her love Tony Romo on his birthday, where they playfully make a mess out of the cake with each other and make out with their mouths full. Having a filled up mouth is a pretty common scenario that Jessica Simpson is use to because it’s the only way her boyfriends can shut the bitch up, because whenever she talks it makes them question why they are doing what they are doing until taking another glimpse of her tits.

This whole thing makes me thing of Nick Lachey and their wedding that ended in misery, but then again, everything makes me think of Nick Lachey, he’s so dreamy…..I guess that gay started with the word morsel and built up to this. I’d apologize but why bother….no one’s reading this anyway….

Posted in:Cake|Jessica Simspon|Slut

2008

21

Apr

Miley Cyrus’ Personal Pictures of the Day

29 Comments »



I love how everyone calls me out for being a sick fuck for predicting that this bitch will grow up to be a slut. They think it’s so fucking twisted to think of a 15 year old being sexually active. I always tell them that it’s Oprah’s fault for getting the idea into my head when she had an episode on these 14 year old high school sex parties. In fact, Oprah is like my god and if that bitch can talk about 14 year olds licking assholes, I think I can too. It’s like she set the bar for me or some shit.

The point is that Miley Cyrus plays this whole girl of God innocent shit, that I know is a total lie and that whenever this bitch is at home alone with a guy watching teenage comedies, she’s the one who grabs his dick over his pants and begs for him to fuck her without a condom because she hasn’t got her period yet and can’t get pregnant…or she’s this wholesome Christian girl who bends the rules by putting cocks in her mouth and ass, keeping her vagina off limits but still finding ways to get off, like a recovering heroin addict who loves shooting up, so he’s taken to shooting coke instead of heroin because he doesn’t consider it really doing drugs because Heroin is that much more fun and cocaine is designer shit for rich girls. It’s like how you don’t think it’s gay to let your best friend give you a blowjob because he’s your buddy, you’re not putting a penis in your mouth and girls don’t really give you the time of day and you’re tired of jerking off.

The truth is when I see pictures like this, I know that I am right in thinking she’s a slut with too much money on her hand and that age doesn’t play any factor in that and I just realize that I was born in the wrong era, because when I was 15, girls weren’t even masturbating yet, they didn’t know what the fuck sex was and the occasional one who did was considered a slut and rightfully, because that bitch gave me Chlamydia.

Either way, here are the Hannah Montana, innocent teenage girl pictures, because according to the hate mail I get, she’s just a little girl with no sex drive, but according to the pictures, bitch looks like she’s ready for sex, loves male attention and she’s letting us know that in a few years, we’ll be seeing a lot more of her and that she’s yet another reason we should love Disney and their creepy producers for breeding these whores like a pimp at the bus station lookin’ for teenage runaways to work under him.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Personal Pictures|Slut