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Archive for the Tanlines Category

2022

08

Sep

Tanline Thursday of the Day

I don’t really know the context of this video, but I do think it’s pretty aspirational, you know something to hope and dream for, something to wish you can get involved in, or even just experience as a spectator one day, but the only chick you know is your mom and aunt, so it’d be pretty awkward to coordinate! I guess you could always save up your welfare checks and invest in a few whores to cast as the tits, maybe it’ll go viral and make you rich like that Ocean Spray tikok guy!

It is just a bunch of girls getting hosed down the way nature intented for the kind of dude who has a spoiler on his pick-up truck, I mean, this is what dreams are fucking made of!

Tanlines are nature’s highlighter that if they are from the sun are actually hot, so long as the woman isn’t old and leathery like a pile of bones in Florida waiting to die like the QUEEN!

DOES that means KING CHARLES will be on our Canadian money, more reason to END cash to control the population with digital currency, even though CASH is KING, along with KING CHARLES!

I do not believe in global warming, I think there is an attack on the SUN, because they don’t like us getting the messages the sun sends us, since that’s the foundation of all life on this simulation we call earth!

I do not believe in the toxic chemicals they tell us to protect us from the sun, or the chemicals to stain skin, but who cares what I believe in, TAN LINES are amazing!

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Posted in:Tanlines

2022

01

Sep

Tanline Thursday of the Day

Never too late for some TANLINES!

We call it nature’s highlighter, so we can see all the good parts, or at least know where to find the good parts, in the event we can’t figure it out because all the blood has gone to our balls and we can’t process simple tasks like sorting out where the tits and pussy are!

The point of the story is, the sun doesn’t kill! They’re lying to you!

You’ve been warned!

Now go sun your asshole!

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Posted in:Tanlines

2022

25

Aug

Tanline Thursday of the Day

When tanlines aren’t on leathery ladies in florida who have spent their retirement cooking themselves with various oils and mirrors to amplify the UV, until they look like an overcooked Turkey on Christmas, if you’ve been to Florida at a 55+ resort, you know the type of Griswald Family Christmas Turkey I mean!

But yeah, when tanlines are on hot, taut, younger, less skin damaged with more collagen women, they are hot highlighters highlighting the good stuff!

I don’t know if all of these tans are from charging themselves out in nature, because the sun is your friend, it’s the creams that they tell you to put on to protect you from the sun that cause cancer!

Shocking, a species of animals like HUMANS who are theoretically FROM this earth, are designed to be EXPOSED to its radiation since that is HOW things grow, CRAZY!

It’s almost like there’s a conspiracy against the sun or something, maybe we should DIM it, and take away all the natural tanlines and replace it with creams purchased from industrial manufactures made from chemicals to stain the skin and disrupt hormones!

SO HOT!

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Posted in:Tanlines

2022

18

Aug

Tanline Thursday of the Day

Tanlines are a fetish in this era of people not going outside in the sun because they have been told it kills, or because they are jacked up on SSRIs and will burn up, or they are too depressed to leave the house, or because they are just addicted to the screen, looking in the mirror, and getting as pasty and zombie-like as possible.

Not that true narcissist sluts would ever let themselves get nerdy fat dude level of pasty, they’ve got creams, lotions and potions for that…jack up those hormones, kick em in the cunt.

But yeah, it’s impossible to tell a real tanline from a tanline filter or a tanline spray tan that strippers used to get, so we’ll just take the tanline and pretend it’s from the sun, before they become leathery like an Australian 25 year old thanks the hole in the Ozone layer and all those other REAL GLOBAL WARMING scare tactics, since global warming isn’t real….

So yeah, since everything is fucking fake, we can pretend or imagine these are from the sun, charging like tanning your asshole, vitamin D inducing cuz we need vitamin D, I mean, you all pretend you’re getting laid when you fuck your luncheon meats in a ziploc bag, you can assume the highlighting of the good spots is actually highlighting the good spots, fake or not, still hot.

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Posted in:Tanlines

2022

11

Aug

Tanline Thursday of the Day

Tanlines were never really a fetish of mine coming up, but I did think they were pretty funny in the way they reflected under the black light at the stripclub, almost like a CSI Miami episode where Horatio Crane was looking for cum….

I’ve been around trashy girls, in a city that had Tanning Salons on every corner, like they have massage parlors on every corner, even the small peripheral towns had tanning salons, even those that had nothing else…you’d drive through, see a corner store, we call the Deps, not bodegas like you New York fucks, but yeah, there’d be a Dep and a Tanning salon, so I’ve seen my share of tanlines……

Tanlines have slowly become a fetish, assuming they are from the actual sun and not some chemical spray, which you can’t assume, since it’s mainly from a chemical spray, as people have decided the sun is cancer causing, but chemicals that stain your skin are DOPE.

So yeah, they’ve become a fetish because I’m like “what, you go outside, that’s so edgy, daring, and exciting of you!” I mean not a sloth bitch on a couch ordering food while counting their likes to make sure that instagram isn’t short changing them, you know focus on the important shit.

While I like girls who get outside, hence my love for tanlines before they become leathery monsters.

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Posted in:Tanlines

2022

04

Aug

Tanline Thursday of the Day

I don’t know when I developed a tanline fetish, because I used to find the shit cheesy as fuck, but you have to remember that I grew up in stripclubs so the majority of bodies I was seeing naked were gutter, french Canadian, oftentimes toothless, strippers who fucking loved to go to one of the tanning salons on every street corner, because people just couldn’t get enough of them.

I think that’s why I turned on the overall Kardashian, duck face, muppet face, botox, filler and filter face that’s so fucking popular now, because the french Canadian strippers were doing that whole thing 25 fucking years ago and I thought it looked silly then….as it does now…..the whole rich ladies and gutter strippers have the same aesthetic.

ANYWAY, I grew out of my tanline hate, and fucking love seeing girls showing off all the VITAMIN D that they’ve got from our friend that has been dragged through the mud as being a killer, when he’s not, you know the Steven Avary of nature, our SUN…..

So I am a fan, of natural tanlines before the sun addicted bitch ends up a lathery pile of trash you’d expect to find sagging on a florida bitch, crisping up, in her retirement…..

I am not a fan of spray tans, or sunscreen, just a pure old fashioned, traditional tan, but I’ll take what I can get, since it is NATURE’s highlighter…..

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Posted in:Tanlines

2022

28

Jul

Tanline Thursday of the Day

What if I told you all the skin cancer they say is from the sun, that you need to put sunscreen on to protect yourself from, is actually causes by the sunscreen they have you convinced to put on. It’s a billion dollar industry based on FEAR….

The sun is the KEY to all living things, vitamin D that is essential in fighting of disease, and even if it makes you a leathery old bitch, it’s better than lathering yourself up in toxic fucking chemicals your body absorbs.

But don’t listen to me, I’m not a doctor and really know nothing about anything, besides big corporations are evil and DO NOT care about you…..

PLUS they are trying to get in the way of me and my TANLINES, a fetish.

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Posted in:Tanlines

2022

21

Jul

Tanline Thursday of the Day

Tanlines are better than the traditional way of trying to get some color to your skin when too scared to go outside and face the sun, thanks the media making you scared of it for the last 50 fucking years, even though it’s the source of energy that fuels every aspect of life, because in the beginning God created light people, making me question the alliance the media has to their overlord….because you’d have to be a real psycho to turn on the damn sun…..and an even bigger psycho to want to DIM it……

But yeah, the traditional tan, or blackface, was smearing feces on yourself, that stank and attracted bugs, but had the look the girls wanted, so they developed chemical versions of feces to smear on their skin, for the body to absorb, all toxic and pumping through their veins, but luckily, both sun addicted normal people who should be charged by the sun, and lazy pig girls who smear shit on themselves, are wise enough to know to leave the skin where the bikini goes pure, untouched, and natural….you know to highlight the good parts when they take nudes for perverts like us to jack off to….because one thing is for sure, tanlines are hot, girls know it, and love showing them off as much as I like staring at em.

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Posted in:Tanlines

2022

14

Jul

Tanline Thursday of the Day

I wonder if people are realizing that the sun doesn’t kill you, that’s just some real propaganda, and the real thing that kills you is the sunscreen, filled with all it’s TURTLE KILLING chemicals, that get absorbed by your skin, all to block out your natural vitamin D production, which leads to countless chronic illnesses, including but not limited to COVID…..

I doubt it…

I know that in the organic, healthy, global warming denying communities that I subscribe to, the argument is that the sun is what charges us, our bare feed in the ground ground us, the sun is the light that is responsible for all life, and you fucking need it…..

So all these “Put on sunglasses” and “lather yourself with cancer causing chemicals” that they pretend is from the sun, is just marketing to suckers at its best.

I’ve heard the key to longivity is sunning your asshole, so get out there, middle of the park, and spread that ass for all the sunning glory…..and when the police come, show them your doctor’s note saying you need to sun your ass, and since you don’t have a backyard, this is the best place to do it….they can’t discriminate against you over your medical decisions…..

Anyway, here are some girls who sat in the sun and exposed aroud 80 percent of their body to the sun, before showing you the 20 percent that got no sun….NATURE’S HIGHLIGHTER.

Or they are just doing TANNING CHEMICAL DIPS for the effect, because when they go out in the sun, they do other chemical dips that keep them pasty as shit.

Point of the story, don’t fear nature and TANLINES are hot.

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Posted in:Tanlines

2022

07

Jul

Tanline Thursday of the Day

It is TANLINE THURSDAY where we celebrate the sun that has been the foundation of life since the dawn of the Earth existence….even though a bunch of the tanlines you see are spray tans by lazy people who don’t mind spraying chemicals on themselves for a look….because they’ve been told that the sun KILLS them and causes them cancers, when really it makes the body produce vitamin d, which is the hormone that basically cures a bunch of ailments…..

The sun charges you, it sends you information, and if done right it brings you tanlines that highlight the good parts…that you’re not supposed to see….

Some tanlines are worse than others, like the fat white cat lady who has decided to go to the tropics to fuck locals for the adventure, where they are all bright red with a horrible farmer’s tan from their swimming shit they wore…NOT all tanlines are created equally….but we like to focus on the hot ones…the slutty ones…even if it’s produced by chemicals….who cares, maybe them dying off from the chemicals in 20 years from their spray tan addiction will be welcomed because they are no longer hot and that’s all that ever mattered to them….we live in the NOW….NOW TANLINES!

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Posted in:Tanlines