When everyone is out with their families eating Turkey and hating on each other for their political differences or Vaccine statuses since covid ruined society as a whole….

We have Tanlines to remind us that we can alway fuck off for the big event, Christmas, which is right around the fucking corner.

Think of Thanksgiving as that practice run of disappointment that you don’t want to deal with again in a few weeks, when you can instead be getting tanlines of your own to sit on your face if you have enough money to pay the local whores to let you eat the herpes off their serving dish of a pussy.

Point of the story, winter is shit, summer is better, tanlines are just some evidence to support that…..

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It’s cold as shit, people are pasty as shit in the north, but luckily, there’s always some orange slut glowing like a beacon of hope, like a flare at a icy car pile up, to remind me that bitches don’t let that get in the way of looking as good as they can, which almost always involves a tanline, since it highlights the good parts and makes you think she’s healthy and outdoorsy, unless you’re more into pasty goth bitches because they remind you more of the corpse you actually fuck, because you’re undesirable….

Either way, some TANLINES to life the fucking mood.

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In a life that should be a constant vacation, all laid back by the pool, cooking under the sun, cocktails and titties, rocking that sense of adventure, that lust for life, that seeing new things, that answer to no one, with no responsibilities, turning off your brain to cruise….stress free and filled with fun….

But that isn’t any of those things because the system is rigged and designed to keep everyone miserable….

So tanlines are a nice reminder of what you are working for, slutty half naked exhibitionist girls with tanlines….or what you are going to sell everything you own to live on a 5000 dollar boat and eat fish only to launch a youtube channel about your throwing in the towel on the lie that is the slave life they force on us….where you become a multi-millionaire, who can re-enter society the right way….as a rich person….with a personal brand and engaged audience who finance your existence….

Which is why I bring you the tanlines….a little aspirational pussy to keep you motivated.

I’m like Tony Robbins up in here, sucking at life SO you don’t have to.

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Tanlines are magical, even if you have to dig for them at the nudist colonies where you see your nude women, by hoping some of those old naked bitches with the old floppy tits are sprawled out in a way where the titty is hanging from the right angle, so you can see where the sun didn’t kiss them….

Tanlines are magical, even when they aren’t nature’s way of highlighting the good parts, by keeping them their lighter skinned, untouched by UV, skin…..even when they are sprayed on chemicals on slutty girls who aren’t scared of the longterm effects of chemicals that could potentially kill them….because it is for a look and the sun is scary…

Weirdos….

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The sun may be blocked out by chem trails or Bill Gates sponsored technology to lower the temperature the earth to appease his lizard blood, but luckily for us, bitches can still get tanlines, and even if the sun does get blacked out and we are all forced to die off, leaving the elites to live in the bunkers, having the world to themselves, living off the Metaverse, because they have to stay underground for 100 years, there will still be tanlines, because they’ll program that option into avatars, because that’s how hot tanlines are….I mean they even make chemicals to stain your skin so that you can give yourself tanlines without leaving the house already as you prep for the apocalypse you won’t be invited to unless you learn how to suck rich dick right….so here’s a round-up of tanlines to keep our appreciate for the sun alive, it’s the source of life, before they turn it off.

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It’s cold as shit here, but French Canadian strippers have always found a way to have some of the trashiest tans from the tanning beds or now the tanning sprays to really make you feel like you’re at a 3 star resort in Cuba where you get herpes on your face from the hot tub and not from the hookers you’ve rented for the month long adventure that is only costing you about 750 dollars including airfare and food because you don’t fear disgusting hotels, because you live in filth and it doesn’t come with a beach.

These are not French Canadian strippers, but clearly they know that some of us like the tanlines, so they’re bringing them for us to pretend that it’s not cold as shit here, and if that isn’t important work, I don’t know what is….but regardless of whether that is important work, I still don’t know what important work is, because when it comes down to it, all work seems pretty fucking useless, but tanlines highlight the good parts, which seems pretty fucking useful.

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Sunkissed girls are far hotter than indoor girls who are too lazy or scared to leave the house, because the internet has destroyed their lust for life and adventure, they can just scroll through their feeds all day, while being medicated on anti-depressants and entertained by streaming sites, before turning to their onlyfans to make some money selling feet pics, or letting dudes jerk off to them masturbating, you know the way nature intended!

I don’t know if indoor girls actually exist, I feel like the only reason to sell nudes would be to spend your days doing fun shit, going on adventures and generating some tanlines, but I guess I over estimate people and don’t realize how lazy they actually are!

Plus, I don’t even know if these tanlines are real, because the women aren’t all leathery and sun damaged as you’d expect them to be, meaning it’s possible that the tanline like everything else in life are just an augmented reality filter or some skin staining chemicals, but you know, since this is the internet, and we’re indoor people, the fake shit can pass as real shit, since believing the lies they feed us or that they present as real is what we’ve gotta do to make it in this HORRIBE fucking internet existence!

So we’ll pretend these are real tanlines, on real bitches, who hang out outside to get their vitamin D, like fun and healthy people should, it’s hotter than being all grey skinned and sloth-like in bed crying, which is probably more common than tanlines, since everyone is a miserable fuck!

TANLINES, bring hope of a less miserable TOMORROW!

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Summer vibes right!

When tanlines are on hot chicks and not leathery old broads who moved to Florida after a life of working the factory, tanlines highlight the good parts.

Even when the tanlines are made with skin staining chemicals, they are still tanlines and I don’t care if a bitch is risking cancer to highlight her good parts, if anything, it makes the tanlines higher stakes!

I’m just here watchin’ from the sidelines, because that’s what creeper pervert voyeurs on the internet do!

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I’m in Canada, so it’s the first day of Fall up here, which means we’re stringing up our Christmas lights and winterizing our windows, as we prepare for the great ice wall to be upon us!

Unfortunately, I had the coolest website for its time, when people were making millions of dollars off websites, but I was alienated against and OPPRESSED for being SEX POSITIVE and unwilling to censor th TITTIES, meaning, I don’t have an Oceanfront vacation home in Florida or Tropics to hire hookers and do cocaine off their buttholes, meaning, the only tanlines I am going to get are from the stupid fucking internet or the occasional vaccinated stripper who I pay to sit on my face, but those tanlines aren’t real, but they are good enough, as a low standard, low hanging fruit grabbing, pervert!

So these tanlines are a tribute to summer getting ready for fall and the truth is, I didn’t see any tanlines in human form regardless of the season change, because leaving the house, or the basement mould infested cell I call home, escaping these four walls I stare at, takes too much effort, meaning the internet tanlines are good enough!

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