I’ve heard that the sun has a hole in it, or a dark spot in it, and that the end is near but the people in charge don’t want you to realize it, so they tell you the sun causes cancer, that looking up at the sun damages your eyes, in efforts to keep you in the dark about the sun burning out and all of us freezing to death like we are here in Canada….they even want to dim the sun, they say for global warming, but it’s probably got more to do with the end of the world they don’t want us knowing about because it will cause panic….but the good news is part of that distraction is hot sluts who get naked and half naked and some don’t even care about the sun propaganda, that it can kill them, instead, they layout ready to bronze up, so that their tanlines shine in their nudes…because it’s all about the nudes….and I like that attitude!

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Posted in:Tanlines

They say that you’ll never find a tanline on a nude beach, but they’ve never been to the nude beaches I’ve been to, where the average age is 78 and the tits sag so hard that when you life them up, nothing but tanline, just not the tanline I’m looking for, which is a tanline that highlights the good parts but telling my brain “CLOTHING IS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE”….even though you know clothing is supposed to be there, the stencil outlined panties or skimpy bikini branded onto their skin, whether natural or chemical based, is perfectly slutty for me!

The point of the story is that tanlines aren’t just for trashy bimbos in the 80s, they are for all bimbos and non bimbos who put up nudes on the internet of the now.

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Posted in:Tanlines

Summer means many things to many people, but to me, it means TANLINES….I mean it also means that one stripper who left a period stain on my sweatpants all those years ago, but that wasn’t really her real name.

I may not be a beach bum or pirate of the Caribbean sitting at a beach bar offending the patrons with my drunkeness, but I fucking should be….and I may not leave the house because I am lazy and don’t have to….but I do hate winter and I do love summer…and since summer means tanlines to me….I love the tanlines….

More importantly, since tanlines don’t need the sun, in this fucked up Sci/Fi world we live in, we don’t need summer to get them….

Even more importantly, since no one needs to leave the house, the tanlines are just presented to us on the screen, you don’t even have to venture out looking for some bitch in a bikini that is skimpier than her usual bikini, or better, sunbathing with her tits out.

This internet things definitely got some value….at least in the quest for tanlines..or as I call it the endless summer that doesn’t need summer.

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Posted in:Tanlines

When you’re buried in a foot or two of snow, freezing your balls, assuming you have balls, which I don’t, but freezing your balls off, it’s a figure of speech, Tanlines are as much a spit in the face and not the romantic kind you get the hookers to do to you because you’re a pervert, but a mean kind that makes you mad…..but yeah they are as much a spit in the face, or kick in the frozen balls, assuming you have balls, which I don’t….as they are some aspirational thing….

Until you remember you don’t need the sun for tanlines, which is great news since you know they are blocking out the sun to cool down the planate and geoform it for the reptilians….couples with people being made to fear the fun, fear the benefits of the sun and assume that the sun causes the cancers and not the chemicals they ingest or topically apply to them…

But yeah, tanlines come in a jar bro, a spray can, like the airbrushed T-Shirts at the flea market, so strippers in your area are tan-lined up, even in sub arctic weathers, so you can get your fucking ALOHA on regardless of the whole freezing your balls off…

Sluts, they think of everything when it comes to HIGHLIGHTING THE GOOD PARTS!

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Posted in:Tanlines

It’s cold as shit in these parts, winter is the fucking worst, painful experience one can experience and anyone who tells you otherwise, is a fucking psychopath…

There’s a reason it’s the most popular time of the year to kill yourself, when going outside is painful as shit, and you’re not even rewarded by bitches half naked and running around, like in the summer…

I guess some cucks out her with their high estrogen from the birth control in the water would argue that going out can also be painful as shit, just not physically painful like the bitter cold raping your every joint and exposed skin, it can be emotionally painful, fucking pussy who doesn’t know what real fucking problems, sitting at home and hide and cry to yourself about made up shit…..grow up.

Anyway, I like to turn to tanlines to imagine that endless surf bum, beach bum, pina colada, creeping on bitches changing out of their bikinis, only to show off their sunkissed bodies and tanlines….

Even though, tanlines still exist in the cold, dark north…it’s just out of a bottle or some ex stripper with a budding entrepreneurial spirit who gives spray tans out of her sprinter van….unfortunately not live streamed how we’d want it to be…

I’m more into aspirational, uplifting, hot weather fantasies than remote spray tan operations….so as far as I’m concerned these pics are FOR that, even if they are probably from a can they’ll discover is toxic and cancer causing in 10 years.

Posted in:Tanlines

\It’s safe to say that if you’re not at an all-inclusive resort in Mexico or the Dominican this Holiday season, you’re a failure, because it’s really not all that expensive to hunt down some tanlines of your own.

I am not at an all-inclusive resort this holiday season, but I did know some pervert who would spend 2 months every winter in the most gutter Cuban resort you could imagine, fucking Cuban hookers that were pretty run through, making them his girlfriends for the month he was there, because alternating pussy was too much effort when he could just stick with a fat, old, reliable one.

Living the good life….catching AIDS the right way, in a tropical setting, the way the monkeys intended when they created it in a lab to kill the gays and sell meds.

So my tanlines come from girls with tanlines posting on the internet, whether they are authentic or out of jar, cancer causing or marketed as cancer causing because they want to terraform the earth to adapt to their lizard DNA and they need to dim the sun to do it….don’t matter to me, so long as it highlights the good parts…

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Posted in:Tanlines

Tanlines baby…

You may or may not be hitting the tropical resort to stare at bitches in bikinis getting tanlines.

You may be one of those do the covid test before leaving the house wearing 5 masks and a face shield because your 7 vaccines haven’t given you aggressive cancer yet…so why not get more….so going to tropical vacations isn’t really in the cards since you don’t leave the house….

You may just be broke as shit and can’t afford to hit the cruise you always wanted to….

So this is a taste of tanlines, since you don’t need any of those things, hell, you don’t even need a sun for tanlines, you just need some sluts willing to get naked to show the good parts contrasting the tanned parts….not for the vitamin D the sun provides, but for a different kind of D, the kind that pays them…..

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Posted in:Tanlines

With all the moon worshipping satanists out there running our world, there has been a pretty aggressive attack on the sun. What was once called global warming, until the globe stopped warming, so it was re-branded climate change, which is likely perfectly normal to have happen, while pinning the blame on the end consumer, mom and pop and their plastic straws, but not the industrial manufacturers who are actually poisoning everyone, but since they make a lot of money and pay off the right people, you motherfuckers need to drink out of a paper straw that melts in your mouth three sips into a drink….or you motherfuckers need to be shamed by crazy ladies when they see you idling outside the grocery store because it is cold out there….or you motherfuckers start buying electric thinking that it’s better for the environment without realizing that it still takes ENERGY to charge…

It’s a lie….and it’s ALL the suns fault, so we better dim that motherfucker, can’t be any real consequences from that….

Then there’s the whole vitamin D deficiency, a hormone you get from the sun, but aren’t getting from the sun, because they’ve dimmed the sun or made you scared of the sun…even though that hormone apparently prevents all kinds of illnesses and diseases…like COVID…

It makes looking at tanlines pretty intense….are these girls rebels who don’t care about the propaganda around the sun….or are they sun haters who created these tanlines out of a package and does it really matter….should nature’s highlighter that can be recreated for your sunless pod life through chemicals really wroth analyzing and thinking about….or should we just look at the fucking tanlines, say “surfs up, beach party, beach vacation fantasy time”…..I think ya’ll know the answer….

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Posted in:Tanlines

If the sun is so bad, why does it give me boners?

All you climate activist psychopaths trying to dim the sun because the tv told you to hate the sun because the sun is actually good for you…..and they hate that….

The ice isn’t melting but if it is maybe it is supposed to…

More tanlines!!!

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Posted in:Tanlines

While everyone is mad at Kanye West for trolling them by saying whatever crazy thing he decided to say on Infowars, like how he attacked SEX WORKERS and PORNOGRAPHY that probably hurts your sad lonely pervert existence since they are the only sex you get….because that seems to be the story of the day….

I’m going to stare at bitches showing off their tanlines, highlighting the good sports, to get in that vacation state of mind…

There are too many trolls, too much negativity, too much anger in the world….I’m more into goodtimes and titties contrasting their sunkissed bodies…

Don’t FALL into the SATANIC trap of INTERNET outrage…there’s a whole world out there where NONE of this matters….

Knowing there will be analysts talking this story….is beyond BORING….

Instead….CHOOSE TITS….TANLINED…VACATION TITS…

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Posted in:Tanlines