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Archive for the Tanlines Category

2022

21

Apr

Tanline Thursday of the Day

Will there be tanlines when they don’t let us out of our houses like we’re in Chinese Covid propaganda?

Will there be tanlines when the people at Harvard decided to dim the sun, only to fail their experiment, and actually turn off the sun, so that our world as we knows it dies the fuck off….and all those solar panels replacing fossil fuels, which I’ve heard aren’t even from FOSSILS, but rather an endless resource that is gifted to us from the nether regions of the earth, they just say it is FOSSIL FUEL because it allows them to charge more for it….could you. images, the oil industry and energy sector a manipulated scam riding of the backs of the everyday man….I can’t….I mean from everything I know, big corporations and the people who run them are GREAT people, not pieces of shit who murder for fun, because when you have everything, you gotta get a thrill somewhere and Dollywood’s not cutting it.

Will there be tanlines in hell?

I am going with yes, because the internet is fake and so are the people on it. They got filters and chemicals to bathe in to achieve the tan line without the effort of leaving the house…..since everyone is an agoraphobic weirdo, but at least tanlines are hot.

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Posted in:Tanlines

2022

14

Apr

Tanline Thursday of the Dayta

Are tanlines still a fetish, it’s very late 80s early 90s of me to get excited about the tanlines, but that’s ok, I don’t need to subscribe to the new world they’ve got running…..tanlines can still be nature’s highlighter, highlighting the good stuff, reminding me of fat ladies after a day at the waterpark getting frisky, or even some all inclusive resort adventures that for a Canadian, were made more exciting because we don’t have the sun here, it’s just one big ice wall.

I’ll assume that anything sexual is still trendy, or something being used to monetize slutty content, so the tanline lives on, only since girls don’t leave the house anymore, mental illness, agoraphobia, making tons of money from taking nudes in bed so why bother, any tanline we see will likely be a chemical rub versus the sun, becasue obviously the sun is bad according to the media, DIM OUT THE SUN… but SMEAR yourself in something that dyes your skin hard enough to be racist, just make sure you keep your panties on it when you do it, otherwise….the tanlines will be lost forever….

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Posted in:Tanlines

2022

07

Apr

Tanline Thursday of the Day

The tanline is nature’s highlighter…

It gets me in a tropical, all inclusive resort, state of mind….

Put on some reggae and think about getting up inside some divorcee or more likely an obese, sad and lonely single woman who decided to make a move and have a week of all inclusive fun for herself to let loose because she deserves it, she’s worked hard at the dollar store all those years, shift work ya know, but at least she could get the dented canned beans and ripped bags of chips and chocolate to fill her empty existence….on day 3 or 4 of her vacation when she’s ready to let loose and is rocking a gnarly third degree burn against her one piece with a skirt attachment tan lines.

The all inclusive resort is a great place for a predator like me to catch these bitches in their midlife crisis by the pool, to lose their 45 year old fat girl virginity….because “when in Rome”….live your best life you see in the movies you obsessively watch.

IT’s really not predator behavior, it’s giving them the tools to live out their dreams…helping them be their better self….

Not that I’ve ever been to all inclusive resorts, but I would if I had the budget, because I know that’s how it’d go down….

It’d be my kind of SUPER HERO work..and I guess a lot of Cubans and Jamaicans dude have that circuit all figured out!

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Posted in:Tanlines

2022

31

Mar

Tanline Thursday of the Day

I am still a believer that the TANLINE is a product of hot bitches going outside, being active, or being diva cunts by the hotel pool drinking too many cocktails as they sugar baby….

I have not accepted that everything is fake as shit and that it’s likely a TAN LINE filter from the internet, assuming that exists, it should exist, you know maybe I should get it made and become a dot com billionaire off the laziness and sluttiness of ladies of the internt….ONLYFANS SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY BABY…it’s not like I didn’t visualize that business model the last 20 years..it’s just that you weren’t there to help me do it.

Anyway, I have no accepted that everything is fake and shit, I’m a romantic like that, living vicariously through opportunistic pussy going to tropical places and having a good time..

When really it’s just fake, or sprayed on with a stencil if they are the kind of people who leave the house..and smearing and staining a bitch with feces or chemicals has never been my thing….

But the TANLINES do still highlight the GOOD parts that you’re not supposed to see, it’s just that when it’s a selfie, they kinda want you to see it, so again, nothing special, just a cheapened water down version of a GOOD thing.

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Posted in:Tanlines

2022

24

Mar

Tanline Thursday of the Day

Tanlines bring the tropical vibes even if some of these tanlines are just girls basting in chemicals to stain their skin to look like they are tanned, because the actual sun and being outdoors is scary, and tans are so important in this world of body dysmorphia and trying to fit or be hot in an era where every picture on the internet is a humanoid, CGI, animation of a MUPPET….forcing them all to get bigger clown tits, lips, cheeks and asses. Thanks Kardashians…I don’t know what witchcraft voodoo spell they implemented on society or how ANYONE would turn to them as their leader, but I guess humans are less impressive than you’d hope they would be.

Assuming you don’t think TANLINES are impressive enough, you know why bother doing anything more than this, it’s enough….

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Posted in:Tanlines

2022

17

Mar

Tanline Thursday of the Day

I guess TANLINES are so impressive, or such a great fashion accessory, that girls, not just strippers, which I guess isn’t really fair to say, since all girls are now strippers, it’s socially accepted and if we’ve learned anything from “THE PURGE” it is that people, when fully immersed in their heathen pleasures, will do all the evil things in their soul, SO LONG AS THE GROUP SAYS IT IS OK…

I am convinced that you could convince a bunch of girls that it’s cool to kill babies because they’ll be a burden on your hook-up culture life, so much so that they’d go to protests celebrating killing babies maybe even rocking T-Shirts with all the dates of the babies they’ve killed…

KILLING BABIES man…making everyone getting a tanline because everyone’s into tanlines, they even spray chemicals on themselves instead of going out in the sun for a tanline, we’re an instant gratification people….but when you’ve got the tanline, you gotta let it shine…for all to see…even if it’s artificial and painted on…because it is NATURE’s HIGHLIGHTER and you paid good money for it so you can’t make it go to waste.

All I know is that it makes me want to sip Pina Colados, listen to Reggae, and imagine a better life drinking coconut water out of the coconut on the beach…which is probbaly what I’ll do when you start sending me money like people send money to all those other CREATORS living rich from YOUTUBE for living in a van, sailboat, or off grid cabin…..with all the time in the world to get those tanlines.


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Posted in:Tanlines

2022

10

Mar

Tanline Thursday of the Day

The fact that I write about tanlines every week is pretty ridiculous, I should just post the pictures, why the fuck would anyone need my interpretation or analysis of a bunch of random babes who got some sun, or who got sprayed to look like they got sun, since we basically live in a METAVERSE…thanks to the PANDEMIC that will be funny to see people try to adapt to after years of their hypochondria being validated…but where there’s a will there’s a way, and I like to think getting tanlines to switch things up on your OnlyFans is enough of a reason to RISK getting out there and taking on the sun….so that the fans get to see Nature’s Highlighter highlighting the good parts at work.

I’ve already said too much, click the pics, pervert..you disgust me….not really.

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Posted in:Tanlines

2022

03

Mar

Tanline Thursday of the Day

Tanlines are natures Highlighter to remind you that a tanned bitch is hotter than some pasty white fat bitch eating a box of donuts while watching her “stories”….

They say that the sun will destroy you, will cause you cancer, despite being the FUCKING SUN, basically our ENERGY source that powers this whole simulation…you know our CHARGE BLOCK…but of course they’ll tell you the sun is dangerous, because they want you to not be experiencing your FULL human existence….SO work in that windowless factory like the slave that you are all day, while getting deeper and deeper in debt, so the EVIL puppet masters can basically OWN you…further enslave you….as they figure out how to permanently DIM the sun to make our climate more comfortable for their ALIEN species…because they can’t be fucking human from where I’m sitting…

I say, let’s focus on the hot TANLINES!

Posted in:Tanlines

2022

24

Feb

Tanline Thursday of the Day

Yo, it’s TANLINE THURDAY BRO….

It’s the day we celebrate them titties and asses that don’t get kissed by the sun, while the rest of the body gets kissed by the sun, assuming these are real tans and not the kind of tans that you buy in a jar at a drug store to basically get absorbed by your skin and eventually fucking kill you from some horrible disease….if you don’t believe me…LOOK UP SUNSCREEN RECALL….or JOHNSON AND JOHNSON BABY POWDER RECALL…these motherfuckers don’t care about you…

If anything, they want you dead, or dying, they can make more money that way….

They don’t want you to know that animals lay in sunspots, don’t believe me, look at your pets on a sunny day…it’s called DOWNLOADING….or some shit..

THE SUN SENDS YOU SIGNALS…because NOTHING they tell you is REAL…obviously, why would they give you simpletons the actually winning formula, they want you losing…LOSEER..

I like to think the TANLINES send me signals too, you know that the girl is showing me some EXCLUSIVE body parts that EVEN THE SUN doesn’t see, you know like that whole “I’ll stick it where the sun don’t shine”…..only less queer…

Posted in:Tanlines

2022

17

Feb

Tanline Thursday of the Day

Tanlines put me in a tropical state of mind…because I know that laying in the sun and absorbing it’s energy like most animals do is part of what we need to be doing…and the whole skin cancer racket is a lie…and billion dollar business just trying to get in the way of your connection with the fucking earth…so TANLINES are a reminder of the SUN that BROKE through the PROPAGANDA and lies…and in the process highlights all the good bits of a bitch that would otherwise NOT stand out because it’d all be the same fucking shade…and we’d never know how LUCKY we were seeing what is clothed in public….because the internet is private and intimate…right….

It’s actually pretty funny that these nude models post their nudes for the internet, like a great game….totally separate to real life…when being naked at the GROCERY store would have FAR less touch points or AUDIENCE members…but is just too real, too personal…while this internet life is just fake as fuck…

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Posted in:Tanlines