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Archive for the Tanlines Category

2021

02

Dec

Tanline Thursday of the Daytanl

Nothing says tropical sex worker like a tan line, you know the kind of beach rat who moves to a beach town, to suck dick in the heat, because why would you be a whore where there isn’t an endless summer..right.

It’s like homelessness, when I see homeless motherfuckers freezing in the cold, I’m like, start fucking walking motherfucker, you have nothing else to do and FLORIDA will eventually come into your sights where you can live under bridges and EAT people on BATHSALTS and other fun things…

The tanline highlights the good parts….so here are some tanlines on the kind of girls who want you to see their tanlines…HEROES.

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Posted in:Tanlines

2021

25

Nov

Tanline Thursday of the Day

Tanlines are nature’s highlighter because they highlight the good parts that you’re not allowed to see when thy are getting those tanlines…not because women are modest, I mean we live in the sluttiest times in history thanks to the internet and its normalizing of porn, making nude pics barely a thing…”IT IS NOT LIKE I AM GETTING GANGBANGED MOM AND DAD”…the thanksgiving conversation we know is being had now that the last year has turned average everyday middle of the road suburban mall shopping bitches into sex workers….because it is fun and lucrative…

The tanline, since it is 90 percent from a can, you know SPRAY TAN FROM A CAN….let’s TRADEMARK that and get into the hosing the bitches down with brown goo…to give them some semblance of healthy, outdoor, color, without having to leave their houses since they have Amazon, online shopping and delivery….ROT AWAY and forget living actual real life…YOU CAN JUST FAKE IT ALL from the comfort of hiding away like an agoraphobic freak…

So yeah, I like tanlines for what they represent, not for what they are, chemicals out of a can, because I am old school and seeing a tanline on a bitch in the summer meant you were getting somewhere good…and I’m nostalgic about that.


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Posted in:Tanlines

2021

18

Nov

Tanline Thursday of the Day

I keep seeing insane news about this COVID thing that you may or may not have heard about, but if you haven’t, it’s this VIRUS that was potentially created in a lab in China that was released to the world through bat soup that has forced people to be in lockdowns, to wear masks, to even be under curfew because this virus only gets you at certain times of the day….and if you’re rich, you don’t have to even hide from it…you can still travel and live life normally an enjoy all the normals not getting in the way on the beach….then there’s some experimental medicine that they marketed will save you, that they are telling you doesn’t save you so you need more, while telling those who don’t have it that they need it to….and even better…if you don’t have it you can’t go places, so you better get it..

But yeah, I’ve been seeing these news items about lockdowns in Europe…increasing cases everywhere….everyone being tracked on some weird passport system…in various places that I am sure they want everywhere….

So the idea of you getting tanlines if you live in the north may be pushed off for another 6 months…what’s 6 months…

Luckily, girls are resilient and they FIND the work arounds…so at least we can still jerk off to tanlines from our prisons that are our phones and the internet.

I LIKE tanlines and these are tanlines..

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Posted in:Tanlines

2021

11

Nov

Tanline Thursday of the Day

Tanlines…so tropical…so exciting..

This is the shit the fat ladies who work at Walmart in the Midwest masturbate thinking about….you know dreams of being the hot chick in a bikini that people eagerly stare at with erections hoping to get the opportunity to see their tanlines….maybe they even call themselves beach bums, or dream of being a beach bum…but live in a trailer park where they stream shitty reality TV eating cheese puffs..

Maybe they dream about being able to sell their tanline nudes to the masses like an influencer….because the fuck they get, is not the fuck they want to get, but it’s the only fuck available…

What I am getting at is that everyone loves fucking tanlines even gross women you’d hate seeing with tanlines..

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Posted in:Tanlines

2021

04

Nov

Tanline Thursday of the Day

If you’re not on your way to the promised land that is Florida, which I am sure is not actually the promised land, I don’t believe in any of these people are heroes, the entire system is a fucking disaster that probably need to be rebuilt or collapse so that you can live in your pod eating your bugs while a machine jerks you off in the metaverse because real life is such hell….They have been planning for this haven’t they…

But yeah, if you’re not on your way to Florida, which is seemingly the only place worth living in in the USA right now, where you can kick it in your bikini and get your tan line for your nudes….you can definitely find some underground SPRAY tanner to do it for you…since all the sluts I know during the lockdowns still had their tan on…it’s like the UNDERGROUND railroad of our generation….hiding under floor boards for TAN LINES…

Point being Tan Lines are hot…and this is a round-up of some.

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Posted in:Tanlines

2021

28

Oct

Tanline Thursday of the Day

Summer may be over so those people who live in the north are not going to be able to lay out in the sun and get all the benefits from the sun, because despite big corporations telling you that the sun is bad for you and causes you cancer, the sun is actually the source of all fuckign life, so don’t be an idiot.

As people like evil tech billionaires want to weaken the sun, or at least dim the sun, because he’s trying to make a climate that will suit his alien over lordes, you know get that atmosphere primed for aliens, because this global warming shit is a lot of bullshit…yet they are RUNNING with it hard…forgetting that Nature is Powerful…and everything we need to survive is in Nature, not on Amazon…

Point being, in your metaverse you upload your “consciousness” to for eternal life in a videogame won’t have a sun, but they’ll DEFINITELY HAVE TANLINES, and that’s nice to know…TANLINES will outlive HUMANS…cuz tanlines are hot and when something is hot…sluts COMMIT to the cause hard.

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Posted in:Tanlines

2021

21

Oct

Tanline Thursday of the Day

If you don’t believe in God or the Creator, I’ve got some TANLINES for you to remember that nature is REAL, nature does pretty amazing thing like darken skin from the SUN, assuming the sun is real and not just a studio light like this Truman Show insanity we live under, but we’ll run with it being a real thing, and that real thing kissing the bodies of women we want to have sex with, and if they aren’t naked, because they aren’t on a nudist resort, because they aren’t old perverted men looking for married fat old lady tits, then they wear bikinis outside so their good parts don’t get sunkissed, meaning they stay white while the rest of them browns, you know…is this me explaining the concept of a TAN for you….I mean we are a society of more information available than ever, too many choices, so they all shut the fuck down and turn into awkward dancing retards on TikTok or instagram….you know MEANINGFUL AND INSPIRING content when soceity needs more IMPRESSIVE content….to help save humanity, rather than make them dumber….

ANYWAY, TANLINES are a gift from GOD, and when I start my nudist sex cult, you can be damn sure that we’ll have SERMONS about this shit….but for now, it’s just a post no one will read on a side no one visits….

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Posted in:Tanlines

2021

14

Oct

Tanline Thursday of the Day

Tanlines, when they aren’t some toxic creams being sprayed on a stripper before strip night….are a sign of healthy, getting all that vitamin D from the sun a motherfucker needs, while highlighting the good parts..

I don’t know about you, but there’s a lot of GREY SKINNED demons around me on the regular….whether that’s because of COVID lockdowns or not, .you know fear of going outside now that there’s a great excuse to be inside….YOUR HEALTH relies on it…so you don’t get that VIRUS….avoid it at all costs….or maybe people are just lazy slobs in general and it has nothing to do with pandemics at all…just a general screen addiction….

Whatever the reason, grey skinend motherfuckers scare me….so TANLINES are the reminder that some people still go outside and that’s healthy and thus exciting…I bet their pussies smell better than the slob alternative….

In conclusion – it highlights the good parts..

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Posted in:Tanlines

2021

08

Oct

Tanline Thursday on a Friday of the Day

The header picture of this TANLINE THURSDAY post on a Friday that should have been posted on a Thursday, but I am an alocholic and the fact I even update this site as consistently as I do is fucking mental, especially knowing the end of the world is potentially around the corner because all your idiots are gaslit into following the evil that doesn’t care about you…it’s not your fault, they’ve been planning this forever, you didn’t stand a chance…

MUCH LIKE TANLINES…which is why I used this hairy top pic for the post…distractions work.

With a distraction like a tanline, you hardly even care, it’s like smear that hair armpit in my mouth and let me deal with the internal trauma of trying to not trigger my brain into thinking I am sucking on one of my homeboy’s armpit….and allows me to focus on what matters…HIGHLIGHTING THE GOOD PARTS.

Tanlines are powerful, and so are you, FREE THINKER..

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Posted in:Tanlines

2021

30

Sep

Tanline Thursday of the Day

Highlight the good parts, that’s what we call the TAN LINES….NATURE’s HIGHLIGHTER…for those of you from an era when we used papers and pens, there was this device called a highlighter and you’d use it to highlight key words in documents so that you could highlight what was important in the event you ever had to go back to it for the published facts, that were probably not actually facts, since the publishers have always been rewriting history and controlling the narrative to keep us peasants in the dark, but the highlighter was a great tool….

Now I don’t know if the person who invented the highlighter was someone who watched some naked sluts with tan lines from a day at the beach in bikinis…and said “shit, contrasts make things pop”….but I like to think that is the origin story…and the reason why the tanline will outlive the highlighter…because it’s from the SUN…

I mean, sure, there’s a chance the people at MSN decide to turn off the sun, those natural hormones the sun gives us, because it’s the SOURCE of all life on this planet is being penalized for it’s GLOBAL WARMING capabilities…so that we can live under a dark cloud of hell…you know where some of these people will likely feel at home…mainly workaholic nerd fucks with their computer tans..

SO TAKE in these tanlines before they turn off the sun, even if half of these are probably fake tans…SMOTHER YOURSELF IN CHEMICALS for that NATURAL look instead of just getting the NATURAL look….losers.

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Posted in:Tanlines