The thing that always made me laugh about bikinis was the liner on the inside of the bottoms. They have a plastic protective sticker, you know so that it keeps the bikini sanitary while it goes through the sales process and you don’t catch any vagina diseases from the other dirtbags who tried on the bikini….I wonder if a sales clerk wipes down that protective tape at the end of the day, or after each girl tries on the bottoms, because if they don’t I don’t see what makes it better to rub your cunt against a piece of plastic a ton of other girls rubbed their cunts on, or rubbing it up against a piece of fabric multiple women have tried on. I know that you’re supposed to wear underwear while bikini shopping, but I also know that a lot of girls probably don’t, justifying it by saying that everyone else does, next thing they know they’re rockin’ a scratch.

I guess that rant had absolutely nothing to do with this post, it had to do with hygiene. What I really wanted to write about was this skinny stripper at the strip club I go to, and how she’s an unhealthy drug addict of a woman, probably as small as Nicole Richie but looks like death. Richie looks good to me in these pics. I like a skinny girl, she’s got good hip to waist ratio, her small tits look hotter now than they did when she was a fat slob, flashing on the runway. I’d totally bang her, but it would mainly be to piss off DJ AM. I love being the new guy.

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Steve used to help me with this link dump and now that he is gone, I am doing it on my own. I am okay with that, but if you sent something in or we owe you links, or whatever just email it back to me because I may have not seen it or linked it today. I surf other sites as often as I can, which is almost never – so if you have seen all these already go fuck yourself and find a better site to read…I don’t really mean that. I love all of you, even the ugly ones….which I am sure percentage-wise we are the site with the ugliest readers on the net…we should do a poll.

Weird Cement Bondage Clips
Adrianna Lima in Brazil Vogue
Diesel Has Gone Into Porn
Katherine Mcphee Still has Cleavage
Topless Silvina Luna, No Idea who she is
We love all things Lohan
Britney’s Got Curlers
Pamela David in a Weird Topless Pic

Luba Posing Video Hot
Porn Actresses have an INSANE Fight
Nicole Richie is Addicted to Diet Pills
Watch This Reese Witherspoon Interviewer Check out her Ass…. (don’t listen to the bullshit she’s spewing…put it on mute…this is killing me…I want to shit on her face)

SUNDAY MORNING UPDATE:

Shouts outs go to Dlisted.com for not sucking, Planetsuzy.com for flirting with me, Cayos.com for replying to every singe email, and PinkIsTheNewBlog and Perez Hilton for being the punch line to every joke, ever.

Speaking of jokes, here is Today’s Links for the last time.

Lindsey Lohan Stalker post of the day. V.10
StepMUSIC does My So Called Life
Scary Spice is still around
Resse Witherspoon’s favorite pants
Rachel Bilsons dog is a pervert.
Michelle Trachtenberg stalker post, of the day. v2.0
Liz Hurley’s wardrobe malfunction
Victoria Silvstedts in Cannes

Yet again, I have been slacking on the office photos. Instead, however, I have these pictures of me walking away. How symbolic.


Today’s Useful Tip:

I Quit.

This email has been brought to you by: Dictionary.com

Desperately yours,

Steve.

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As previously mentioned, Drunken StepSteve has left the cardboard box in the laundry room of the aparment complex I live in. The place I call the stepOFFICE. He left to pursue other dreams but will still be with us in spirit and by spirit, I mean I am having someone kill him off because I like to think of my life as a sitcom and in this sitcom his character knows way too much about my plans….

Steve was a great contribution to the site and sent out a lot of really funny daily emails that none of you got to read because you don’t run websites. He put up with my lack of communication and social skills and never let me down, until yesterday when he announced his departure. I know he’s a talent and I will be trying to lure him in to be on camera personality for future stepTV projects if he has time for us. I like to think of my little stepfather site as a stepping stone to everyone….and that said here are some pictures of Pink singing an emotional goodbye song for all of you to cry to.

Drunken Step Steve, I’d like to officially thank you for your hard work, turning my couches into a camper bed, the dinners you cooked for me while I was on the computer, numerous nights at the strip club and in bars spending my step daughter’s college money and most importantly for keeping me company in this lonely internet life that I live. It was good times and reminded me of my days back in college. I like to think you brought new life into what I do, and hopefully that will carry through into making me a lot of money. I will be sending you postcards from the top. Enjoy your trip back home and your worldly travels. One day, I’ll give you that shout out on Kimmel, maybe a little “Wish you were here, asshole” and that’s when you’ll know you made the right choice…

Pink Passionate About the Music (at least someone is)

Pink Nipples in Face Magazine (not sure how old it is)

Bonus: Drunken StepSteve’s Goodbye Email (made public)

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As previously mentioned, Drunken StepSteve has left the cardboard box in the laundry room of the aparment complex I live in. The place I call the stepOFFICE. He left to pursue other dreams but will still be with us in spirit and by spirit, I mean I am having someone kill him off because I like to think of my life as a sitcom and in this sitcom his character knows way too much about my plans….

Steve was a great contribution to the site and sent out a lot of really funny daily emails that none of you got to read because you don’t run websites. He put up with my lack of communication and social skills and never let me down, until yesterday when he announced his departure. I know he’s a talent and I will be trying to lure him in to be on camera personality for future stepTV projects if he has time for us. I like to think of my little stepfather site as a stepping stone to everyone….and that said here are some pictures of Pink singing an emotional goodbye song for all of you to cry to.

Drunken Step Steve, I’d like to officially thank you for your hard work, turning my couches into a camper bed, the dinners you cooked for me while I was on the computer, numerous nights at the strip club and in bars spending my step daughter’s college money and most importantly for keeping me company in this lonely internet life that I live. It was good times and reminded me of my days back in college. I like to think you brought new life into what I do, and hopefully that will carry through into making me a lot of money. I will be sending you postcards from the top. Enjoy your trip back home and your worldly travels. One day, I’ll give you that shout out on Kimmel, maybe a little “Wish you were here, asshole” and that’s when you’ll know you made the right choice…

Pink Passionate About the Music (at least someone is)

Pink Nipples in Face Magazine (not sure how old it is)

Bonus: Drunken StepSteve’s Goodbye Email (made public)

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Grover is stuck in the 90’s and I guess that’s ok. All people go through a mid-life crisis, it just usually hits around 40 while depressed about your BORING job, BORING wife, BORING time conforming to society….I guess Grover is just going through it a little prematurely, since he’s not even 30 yet, either way this is what he had to say about My So Called Life…..

I posted yesterday about The Lemonheads, which got me to thinking about Juliana Hatfield’s performance in “My So Called Life.� After I sent my email to Jesus, I decided to pop in a VHS that had a few episodes of the show that I had recorded a few years ago. I never really cared for Claire Danes, but I did like that show. Maybe I liked it because of Brian Krakow, the nerdy, curly haired next-door neighbor who reminded me of myself. I started thinking about the memorable songs that made up the shows soundtrack and realized arugably the best music ever recorded appeared on the show.

Here are a few songs that are the result of all the thinking I did (right click – save target as – keep them – until Jesus gets sued)

“Consequence�-The Notwist
(Appeared in Shopgirl which starred Claire Danes)

“Away With The Pixies�-Ben Lee
(This dude dated Claire Danes for a while. This is a song he recorded before he did the whole puberty thing.�

“Everybody’s Stalking”-Badly Drawn Boy
(Appeared in Igby Goes Down, which starred Danes. Awful movie.

“I Shall Be Released�-The Band
(Appeared in Prefontaine which starred Jared Leto)

“I Need You Around�-The Smoking Popes
(From the Clueless soundtrack since Alicia Silverstone was originally considered for the part of Angela Chase)

Bonus: Claire Danes Nude Caps from Shop Girl….

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I tell you what I want, what I really really want….there’s no better way to start a post than to drop a lyric from the bitch you are posting on’s first album….actually I lied. There are a lot better ways to start a post, but I am not crafty enough to find those ways. If I was, I would be rockin’ pink suits with Jesus embroidered on the back, looking like the biggest cunt in the motherfucking Cannes Film fest cuz it gets you into OK! Magazine. I guess the point of this post is to say that we haven’t heard shit about Mel Brown in years, and considering I was pretty much dating her, and by dating I mean jerking off to their first video chronically when my penis worked, I figured it was necessary for me to post these pics. It’s also nice to see that she can still afford Ed Hardy shirts cuz my step daughter paid 100 dollars for her, which is just insanity.

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If you are famous you should own more than one pair of pants, because the paparazzi follow you and nothing says “I’m a bad mother” like wearing the same pants 2 weeks apart. When you are me, you are lucky if you own more than one pair of pants, because I am poor and no one ever notices me unless I stink of piss. That reminds me of my walk to the coffee shop today. Some homeless motherfucker with one leg shorter than the other (I could tell by the one platform shoe) . He was all sprawled outside starbucks on their patio beggin for change making people more feel uncomfortable…so uncomfortable that they were relieved to stand next to me in line. I guess that happens to chicks all time, everywhere a girl goes there is always a better looking girl than her….or a girl she thinks is better looking. Point of the story, is that I had a chick moment with a homeless man….and it’s nice to see Reese Witherspoon workin on her baby factory of an ass….

Bonus: Reese Wearing the same pants weeks ago….

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If you are famous you should own more than one pair of pants, because the paparazzi follow you and nothing says “I’m a bad mother” like wearing the same pants 2 weeks apart. When you are me, you are lucky if you own more than one pair of pants, because I am poor and no one ever notices me unless I stink of piss. That reminds me of my walk to the coffee shop today. Some homeless motherfucker with one leg shorter than the other (I could tell by the one platform shoe) . He was all sprawled outside starbucks on their patio beggin for change making people more feel uncomfortable…so uncomfortable that they were relieved to stand next to me in line. I guess that happens to chicks all time, everywhere a girl goes there is always a better looking girl than her….or a girl she thinks is better looking. Point of the story, is that I had a chick moment with a homeless man….and it’s nice to see Reese Witherspoon workin on her baby factory of an ass….

Bonus: Reese Wearing the same pants weeks ago….

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I have gone over this before, but it’s Friday, and on Friday’s I like to reflect on the things I once said and the things I once did. That and I am tired and bored of reading the shit that I type. I am pretty sure you are all feeling the same way and are looking forward to a 2 day break from all this. Or maybe you’re addicted to me, and that would be kinda exciting, I just hope you never find my home address. Point of all this is to say that a celebrity dog is a lucky dog, not only does the dog live in luxury and meet other celebrity dogs, it gets to watch their celebrity owners fuck, shit and do all the other embarassing things a person does when they are alone. If Bilson has chronic yeast infections, her dog has seen this bitch Monestat 7 that shit, that’s huge. And that’s the end of that.

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