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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2008

22

Jan

Valeria Mazza Pregnant Bikini Pictures of the Day

Nothing screams “I am tired of all this working out bullshit to maintain any level of sex appeal and I never want a man to think about fucking me again” than pregnancy. Not only does it ruin bodies on all levels and by all levels I pretty much mean the vagina because that’s the only part I care about, but it’s also the first symptom of the longest lasting STD a person has to deal with, unless you’re smart enough to abort the shit before it’s too late or raise it badly enough that it either gets taken away from you by the government or dies, because after the baby daddy has moved onto younger and fresher girls, you’ll just be some busted up chick with baggage that only virgins or substantially older men want to deal with.

I guess it also screams “I let dudes cum inside me because I’m a slut who doesn’t take her pill properly because I have this deep rooted maternal instinct that needs to be satisfied. I am convinced that the gays have it right when they look at pregnancy as something disgusting because it is everything their lifestyle is against, because the thought of a human growing inside another human is pretty fucking creepy.

I have enough issues falling asleep after a night of hard drinking and binge eating because I feel like something bad is growing inside me and I am usually right, because I end up with a toilet filled with a bloody mess, but that usually only lasts about 2 days and not 9 months and the only real damage it’s done for me is destroy my liver and lead me to a life of obesity that makes walking up stairs a fucking challenge.

That said, here’s some chick named Valeria Mazza pregnant and in a bikini. You may know her as some Argentina supermodel from Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, but you might as well flush that memory away, because those days are long gone for her.


Related Posts:

Valeria Mazza in a Bikini Before She was Pregnant
Cindy Crawford’s Post Pregnancy Bikini Pictures
Nicole Richie Pregnant Bikini Pictures

Posted in:Unsorted|Valeria Mazza

2008

22

Jan

DrunkenStepfather Makes it on G4TV of the Day

I don’t know what G4TV is, so I definitely don’t know what Attack of the Show is, but according to this email I was featured on it, which is the stamp of approval I used to jerk off thinking about when my penis still worked and owned a TV.

Hey,

Just wanted to tell you that your website was mentioned on Attack of the Show on G4TV . For some reason they gave your shit site some fucking love. I would tell you to enjoy the new found fame, but G4 is a network aimed at 20-year-old virgin and there shitty lives. Actually, maybe now you will be able to find a cherry a pop, cause there got to be at least one new virgin chick checking your site…she might be pretty unfuckable though if she likes G4. Not that you would be able to get it up anyway.

BC

Either way, the hot slut at IDLYITW posted the clip from the show because her site was featured too, so if you want to watch it, you know what to do…and remember the second site they talk about, that will NEVER be mentioned on this site, is run by a RIP OFF ARTIST who writes creepy, virginal closet case commentary that you should never read if you ever want to get pussy, or my respect, which goes a long way, since I’m featured on TV and you’re not. Cuddles.


Related Posts:

Here is All The Publicity This Site Has Had in 3 Years
Show Our Love to G4TV for Reviewing Us By Visiting Their Site

Posted in:DrunkenStepfather|Unsorted

2008

21

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

It turns out that someone must have linked me on a woman’s site because I got a ton of comments and emails defending a thick Liv Tyler in a bikini. It makes me laugh that people bother writing comments when I call her fat because I really don’t care if she is fat or not and she’s definitely not as fat as a real fat chick, but she’s hollywood and for hollywood she’s fat so I just like throwing it out there. She may not have cellulite but either does the 300 pound dude who drinks at my local bar and dude looks like he’s having a heart attack every fucking day.

The point of all this to say if girls are goin to bother emailing me or sending in hate mail, the least they could do is send in nude pics because I never discriminate against nude pics even when they come from fat girls….because the low self esteem leads to dirtier pics…..

Topless Aubrey O’Day is the Face of Travis Barker’s Fashion Line and I LIke It
GO

Daniela is a “Model” and By Model I Mean Slut Willing To Get Half Naked for Attention so that She Can Tell Her Friends She’s a Model…Livin’ the Fucking Dream
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Sandee Westgate Reviews Good Luck Chuck With Her Big Ol’ Tits
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Eve From a Long TIme Ago Shoving a Dildo In a Slut
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Britney Spears Dumps Her Paparazzi Boyfriend and Gets a Restraining Order
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Sanjaya Has a Girlfriend Even Though He’s Gay
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Some Webcam Girl has a Pretty Funny Accident on webcam
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Some TV Host Pulls Off His Guest Shirt by “accident”
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Pam Anderson is Lookin’ Pretty Fucking Transexual and You Like It
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Abi Titmuss Flashing The Camera
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How the Fuck Does This Basketball Player Suck at Basketball – He’s Some Kind of Taller than Fucking Tall
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Some Woman Lights a Homeless Sleeping Man on Fire Because She’s Not Very Nice
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120 Movies From 2007 Reviewed
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Some Stacy Keibler Dykes on Bikes Pictures
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Chantell Hougton is Some Hot Slut in a See Through Shirt
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Scarlett Johansson is Engaged…and You are Sad Because You Had a Chance…If Only She Knew How Cool You Were…
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Fisting Video of the Day
GO

Danielle Strader is the Club Slut Girl You Want to Fuck
GO

Some Clothing Company’s Ad that Makes You Want to Take Off Your Clothes and Not Wear Them…
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Vanessa Minnillo’s Got a Tight White Shirt On and I Don’t Mind It…
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Some Ass on the beach in Rio Makes Brazil Look Cool…
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Matthew McConaughey’s Baby Momma is Showing Her Baby Bump and Look’n Hot Doin It…
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Paris HIlton Dressed Like a Clown and Playing Guitar Hero Because She’s Sucks at Life
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This Guy Takes His Lindsay Lohan Obsession Way Too Far…
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Lisa Rinna is the Cougar of the Day
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Some Estella Warren Topless Photoshoot Goodtimes
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Amy Winehouse Has a Mystery Wound and That Shit Turns Me On
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Rachel Bilson is Assuming the Position…and I Like It…
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Jesse Jane is a Pornstar in FHM
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Some Dude’s Pranking His Boss and It Made Me Laugh
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Some Girls Hot Ass in Short Shorts Dancing.
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Some Singer Falls Off Stage Because God Hates His Music as Much as I Do
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Do Not Click This Video That Is Way More Disgusting Than 2 Girls 1 Cup – Seriously
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Some Crazy Painter Does a Self Portrait in Blood
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Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Big Tits Shopping Video
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Some Crazy Skier Free Fall Video
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Karin Sharis is Another Club Slut Girl You Want to Fuck
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Emma Griffith is an MTV Host and She’s Posing Topless in a Bikini
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Some Blonde Bitch Gets Knocked The Fuck Out
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Check Out These Screencaps from an Orgy in Second Life….Because It’s Probably a Glimpse Into Your Future Sex Life….
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Some Group Licking Like You’ve Never Seen Cuz Shit’s Pretty Weird
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Huge Disgusting Tits Taking a Shower
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This Girl Makes Her Asshole Wink
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Some Real Life Pimp Talking About How Pimpin’ Aint Easy
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The Allison Angel Shower Masturbation Video
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Christina Aguilera Was In Full Hair and Make-Up When She Gave Birth
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Sarah Michelle Gellar is Too Old to Play Alice in Wonderland…But She’s Not Too Old For You To Still Think She’s Buffy and They You’re Going to Marry Her after the Vampire Freddie Prinze Leave Her Alone
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Here are the Next Contestants on the Celebrity Fit Club Exclusive
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Phat Girls Gone Wild Joke Video I’ve Never Seen But Got Off To
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Some Peace Rally For Martin Luther KIng Ends in a Brawl
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College Orgy Pictures That I Wasn’t Invited To
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This Creepy School Social Worker SInging His Creepy No Sex Allowed Song on American Idol
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Some Cow Drinking It’s Own Milk Video Weirdness
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Awesome BMX chest crushing crash
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FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Lesbian Picture Collection
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Some Girl Shows Off Her Tits
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FROM THE FORUM

Mazzy Star – Among My Swan
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UFC #80
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Saliva Thread
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The Pogues Thread
GO

Brian Setzer, Stray Cats, other swing
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Deftones Thread
GO

Thisisme Then: The Best of Common
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Nirvana – Insesticide
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Le Trigre – Self Titled
GO

Nude Beach Video
GO

Do women want to watch men suck a …?
GO

Find the Best Porn on the Internet.
GO

This is Proven To Get You Laid…
GO

Now All You Need is to Find Girls To Fuck…
GO

Posted in:Unsorted

2008

21

Jan

Sarah Michelle Gellar Naked for Vaseline of the Day

Here are some shots from a new Vaseline ad with Sarah Michelle Gellar. I am sure Vaseline is really happy about spending the big bucks to cast her since this could be any blond haired naked girl because most of bitch’s face is cut out of the fucking frame and that makes no sense to me.

It reminds me of the time I put a red wig on my wife and pretended she was a fat Lohan, it didn’t really look anything like Lohan but smelled like shit, so I just closed my eyes and pretended.

The real issue is why Vaseline is even advertising in the first place. I am sure most Sarah Michelle Gellar fans know Vaseline better than the average man, since they spend most of their unemployed life’s jerking off to Buffy reruns and she’s the closest thing they’ve ever had to sex and still hold onto the dream that they will end up together when they aren’t playing videogames.

s


Related Posts:

Sarah Michelle Gellar is Surfing
Sarah Michelle Gellar is a Hot Old Lady for Maxim
Hoping That Sarah Michelle Gellar Didn’t Get it From Her Momma
Sarah Michelle Gellar in a Bra in 1993

Posted in:Unsorted|Vaseline

2008

21

Jan

Carla Bruni in a White Bikini of the Day

Carla Bruni is all over the news because she is rumored to have married the president of France or some shit and I don’t blame the motherfucker for doing it because she’s fuckin’ hot at 40 and that proves that she’s got some designer genes that you’d want to have carry your blue blooded president of France baby.

Unfortunately what the president doesn’t know is that she has a pretty dirty past. She’s been linked to Donald Trump, Kevin Costner, Mick Jagger and some other French Politician and has been quoted saying she’s a polygamist and once left her boyfriend for his son….

Reality is that none of that really matters, she’s French and all French girls are whores. They are the only people, other than fags, who think having Anal on the first date is normal. So getting all those other dudes’ sloppy seconds is sometimes worth it when it comes in the form of an amazing blow job, because at 40, you’ve got to accept that your lover’s had a lot of cock, since the only virgin 40 year olds are retards in institutions and nuns.

The other reason why her being a slut doesn’t matter is because she’s lookin good rockin’ a white bikini and no matter what a girl does, white bikinis are always pretty fucking revealing. The girls wearing them always act unaware of the fact that we can all see their pussy lips and that is probably one of the hottest things out there for me…..

So here’s Carla Bruni the french model whore lookin’ good.


Related Posts:

Pam Anderson in a White Bikini
Danielle Lloyd White Bikini
Hilary Swank in White Bikini

Posted in:Carla Bruni|Unsorted

2008

21

Jan

Liv Tyler is Dreaming of Cake in a Bikini of the Day

I guess Liv Tyler’s been slacking on her Mommy and Baby Aerobics classes to whip her back into shape after having a baby, because here are some pictures of her dreaming about her next piece of cake while sitting on the beach in a bikini. She’s obviously the kind of girl who took a liking to being pregnant and being able to eat whatever she wanted without having to feel guilty or judgement from others during the pregnancy and has an arrogance that makes her feel secure that her baby daddy will love her any shape she comes in because he consistently banged her during the pregnancy and gave her a false sense of positive body image when he told her how beautiful she was to avoid her hormonal rages.

Now her delusions have lead her to frolicking around the beach like her next role is in Free Willy the human version. I know calling a fat recent mother a whale is probably played the fuck out, but I figure that there aren’t too many plus sized mammals who like water, unless you count my wife spraying herself with a garden hose on hot days because we can’t afford air conditioning, but you don’t know what that looks like, so I’ll stick with the whale imagery because whale’s are better looking.

Either way, these pictures make me reconsider Liv’s decision to keep her baby, it’s one of those “If I could turn back time” moments”, not that I ever really liked her or care if she’s fat or not because I don’t have to share a bed with her, but her baby daddy probably does because he signed up for something a hell of a lot better than this and if she doesn’t shape up soon, he’ll probably be exploring some girls in smaller sized bikinis and by exploring I mean having banging….


Related Posts:

Liv Tyler Needs More Than Just Make-Up to Look Pretty
Fergie and Steven Tyler Performing Together

Posted in:Unsorted

2008

21

Jan

Some Music Video Called Addicted by Saving Abel has a Hot Slut in it of the Day

Addicted

This video was sent into me to review and I normally don’t review music videos but I do like to draw any attention to sluts in the mainstream. I’ve never heard of this band called Saving Abel or their song Addicted, so I guess they aren’t that mainstream, but since they do have some kind of blondie with implants in lingerie crawling around between the sheets it made the cut. I am easy like that.

Now if they wanted to make this video a little better, there would be a lot more of the chick in her underwear and a lot less of the song. This is the reason why silent music videos should exist, but I guess that’s what the MUTE button is for.


Related Posts:

Some Music Video With Tits
Necro Molesting Some Girl At a Concert in Montreal

Posted in:Addicted|Saving Abel|Unsorted

2008

21

Jan

Adriana Lima in Esquire Has Been Worth a Round Since She was 15 of the Day

These are some pictures from the February issue of Esquire that I am probably not legally allowed to post and will probably be getting a lawyers letter to take down because that’s how the internet works now that big corporations realize that it’s not just a place for virgins and losers looking for love and acceptance. Unfortunately at this website it is just a place for losers and virgins looking for love and acceptance and I feel like the ring leader, which would probably lead a normal person to jumping off a high rise, it leads me to feeling like I have a purpose and have found love and acceptance….just not in the supermodel form, which is what I originally set out to get when I started this site, because I know supermodels have nothing better to do than surf for the lamest celebrity blog out there and fall in love with the person who writes it badly because from what I’ve been told supermodels are big readers as long as the book doesn’t have too many words and and comes in the form of TV and cocaine.

Enough about me, here are those Lima half naked pictures that you should use to remind yourself that as long as you read this site, this is the closest you’ll get to a girl that looks anything like this…or any girl for that matter and it kinda makes me feel awkward that you chose me over pussy, but I am pretty confident you didn’t have much choice in the matter.

Bonus Adriana Lima in a Bikini When She Was 15 to Show You Where It All Started….Pervert…


Related Posts:

Adriana Lima in the Victoria’s Secret Fitting Room
Adriana Lima Does Airport Security
The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in Picture

Posted in:Half Naked|Unsorted

2008

21

Jan

Gina Gershon and Her Mom Jeans of the Day

Gina Gershon is 44 now I am not sure if she’s a mom but her body is telling me that she’s not damaged like that. She may be old enough to be a mom, but that’s not saying much these days because this chick I know is a fifth grade teacher and she had to end classes early last month because one of the girls’ in the class went into labor. True Story.

Now you probably like that story a little too much, and that’s part of the reason why I hate updating this site for you gang of weirdos, but the background story is that the father was a kid in the sixth grade who didn’t realize what sex was, he just got his hands on his dad’s porn collection and fucked up in a huge way, even though we all probably wish we were getting sex at 12 to make up for the lack of sex we’re getting now. Anyway, the girl’s parents were some kind of Christian freaks who didn’t think an 11 year old bringing a baby to term was going to fuck her up for the rest of her life in a huge way because it was god’s way or some fucking stupidity.

So while that mom wears her pink Power Puff Girls jogging suit to birthday parties, this bitch who is old enough to be a mom but probably isn’t one because her body is hot is rocking a pair of Mom Jeans cuz she’s ironic like that and looks a hell of a lot better in them than most 20 year olds I see trying to pull off this look and that’s some kind of miracle.


Related Posts:

Scarlett Johannson’s Got Mom Jeans
Kim Kardashian’s Got Mom Jeans

Posted in:Gina Gershon|Unsorted

2008

21

Jan

Serena Williams Apparently Has a Vagina of the Day

This is Serena Williams at the Australian tennis competition that’s going on right now. This is definitely some “Ladybug” shit where the high school coach threw a dude on the girl’s team to win the championship that’s gone on so long that they don’t need to use the disguise anymore because the public has just accepted her as strong woman and don’t wonder what style genitals she’s packing. It reminds me of the time I put on a dress, wig and make-up and sucked some dude’s dick in a park for some money, but I was just doin’ it to pay the bar tab , I was drunk and he was married, so it was totally not gay. What is gay is that you just got turned on by my story while lookin at Serena Williams pictures, explain that to your therapist you queer.


Related Posts:

Serena Williams and Her Wallet Fucking Boyfriend
Serena Williams is On the Beach in a Bikini
Serena WIlliams Doing the Jessica Biel

Posted in:Penis|Unsorted