Half Naked Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Half Naked Category

2010

29

Apr

Lindsay Lohan Half Naked in a Photoshoot of the Day

Lindsay Lohan pisses me off. I’ve been talking to her for years and she never really bothers with me. She never let’s me play with her tits, she never come to visit me to take pics of her, she doesn’t even follow me on fucker twitter and to be honest, I don’t even know if the person I text back and forth with once a month when she decides to answer me, is probably not even Lohan to begin with, but the delusion or fantasy that it is is enough to keep me happy and think my life is a bigger deal than it is, not cuz Lohan is a big deal, but because she’s a bigger deal than the assholes in my apartment building, you know since Lohan, no matter how cracked the fuck out, pathetic, useless she’s still the hottest pussy in Hollywood, and I’m not just saying that cuz when you’re done with it, you look like your dick has second degree burns, but because she’s fucking awesome.

She did a shoot for some photographer, she didn’t invite me to it…but it’s kinda hot….if you like Lohan covered in fake blood rolling around in her panties like I do…

Posted in:Half Naked|Lindsay Lohan|Photoshoot

2010

28

Apr

Christina Aguilera’s Half Naked Lady Gaga Impression of the Day

Christina Aguilera is previewing her new video cuz she’s making a comeback….

It depresses me that Lady Gaga became such a big deal in music because now everyone is biting her style that she bit from Madonna in some kind of bullshit hipster fashionista claim that she’s a “performing artist” and that she pushed boundaries with her “House of Gaga”….

Not because I don’t like seeing these celebrities half naked fighting to get noticed, especially when they are Christina Aguilera and her breast implants, but because it just takes away the whole effect when I know this is her thinking Gaga’s way is the only way, essentially giving Gaga the credit she doesn’t fucking deserve just because she’s got a bunch of singles….

I don’t know how to make this make sense because I am a drunk, but what I am trying to say is that I hate that bitch can’t come up with her own act that is equally half naked while giving Gaga credit she doesn’t deserve and making herself look like a bottom feeding piece of trash, when really she paved the way for this bullshit…

I don’t think that made it make more sense….but watch the preview and enjoy.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Half Naked|New Video

2010

31

Mar

Georgia May Jagger is the Body of Hudson Jeans of the Day

For those of you who used to excited watching Mick Jagger’s lips on the mic, not because you were a huge fan of his music, but because you loved how good his lips would be for sucking dick, but didn’t want to tell anyone, because despite being very tainty and flamboyant, Mick Jagger is still a dude….

Well his daughter with Jerry Hall, Georgia May Jagger, seems to have inherited the lips you’ve dreamt were on a girl and like all full lipped girls I am hooked…I don’t even care how fat, ugly, awkward looking a bitch is, if her lips are jacked, I’m ready to react in a dirty way…

Just yesterday I was stuck behind this pig of a woman at a coffee shop and I was looking at her wondering how a woman can end up that sloppy as she ordered her piece of cake and hot chocolate with extra whipped cream, then she turned around and I saw her face and her lips were as fat as her disgusting ass and I was in love….not that it matters…..

Either way, she’s another celebrity daughter who has decided to use her famous parents as leverage to become a “model” cuz being a model is apparently the best job in the world cuz you get paid large amounts of money for doing nothing….and it’s easy to get work cuz all the fashion designers book famous kids cuz it’s affordable and makes them feel as high profile as booking the actual famous people…and none of that matters…what does matter is she’s half naked.

They also have Video of the Shoot – To Check It Out Follow This Link
GO

Posted in:Georgia May Jagger|Half Naked|Model

2010

05

Feb

Anne Hathaway Half Naked for GQ of the Day

It would be nice if I had big budgets and a brand name that celebrity pussy wanted to be associated with so badly that they get half naked, but I don’t. The celebrity pussy doesn’t know this site exists and the only photoshoot I ever orchestrated was a disaster that involved my dick in my wife and you make out anything from the small equipment to her gut and pubic hair…So instead I am forced to steal from other people who do….

Now here is Anne Hathaway, boring yet half naked and that’s good enough for me….

Posted in:Anne Hathaway|GQ|Half Naked

2010

01

Feb

Brandy Wearing Very Little Clothes of the Day

These pictures of Brandy dressed half naked and showing off her monster head is my first post to celebrate Black History month which is a lot better than last year’s effort of trying to raise money to get some airfare to get Aids in Africa, which didn’t work out too well because I only raised 60 dollars. I ended up using it on some toothless french Canadian hooker with rash instead, who had nothing to do with black history month, but she did smell like fried chicken, but that’s just a tired black stereotype I’m bored of, so it doesn’t count…

This February’s gonna be different, I am just gonna focus on watching black on blonde porn and hanging with my black friends and here’s Brandy slutting it up because slutting it up is all she has left and slutting it up worked out pretty well for her brother who landed TV shows for fucking…so maybe it’ll help turn her shit around and that’s enough of this post.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Brandy|cleavage|Half Naked

2009

18

Sep

Pink’s Weird Half-Naked Costume of the Day

Pink has taken Lady Gaga’s lead by starting to wear ridiculous and revealing outfits. Sure if girls wore this kind of thing 10 years ago, when I wanted to fuck all the popstars, including Pink provided I was drunk enough, this kind of thing would have been amazing, something to celebrate, but back then, they were hardly dressing like whores….

More importantly, none of the popstars are hot anymore, they are old or ugly and it looks like Pink has been working out a lot too hard, and like she should lighten the fuck up on the bicep curls, cuz even before she got hooked on pumpin iron, she looked like a fuckin’ dude, and now it’s hard to look at her without wondering where she hides her fucking cock, and I guess it’s all because her husband is a closetcase, who spikes her juice with testosterone, to make her the man he always dreamt he would be married to, without having to admit he’s a fag….

Posted in:Costume|Half Naked|Pink

2009

25

Mar

Lydia Hearst Half Naked for Perfect Magazine of the Day

Lydia Hearst is a supermodel who has been getting a ton of exposure lately, and here she is in some hot photoshoot for some magazine called “Perfect” from another country that you probably won’t see here and like all good fashion magazines they tip toe on the fine line of porn and high fashion/art. A line that I wish I new how to balance on so that people take me serious. Unfortunately, everytime I pitch this fashion magazines my concept for a shoot, they ignore my email, mainly because the concept is always the same, Supermodel wearing nothing but my mouth for a bikini bottom, so I can taste what she was up to last night.

Either way, I love Lydia Hearst, mainly because she makes her own money, despite having been from a family where she probably never had a to work a day in her fucking life and that says a lot, because all the whores I meet when I sneak into those chachi bars, are mooches lookin’ for a guy to pay for their shit in exchange for getting to see them naked, with hopes that their futures involve sleeping, shopping and doing nothing all day, spending some asshole’s money, until someone better comes along. It’s like the people who should be ambitious just waste space and someone like Lydia, who could have been a useless socialite, gets naked in fucking magazines and pays her own fuckin’ rent.

I think she’s my Jennifer Hudson. That was a Dream Girl reference that was a little too obscure, I’ve been up since 8 in the fucking morning thanks to a dog who sleeps all fucking day, except at 7:30 in the fucking morning when I want to sleep, because letting me fucking sleep off my hangover is too hard for his back alley retarded pug brain to understand…and here are those pics.

Posted in:Half Naked|Lydia Hearst|Perfect

2009

18

Feb

Kate Moss for New York Magazine of the Day

I don’t know if you remember those Lohan comeback pics from New York Magazine last year where she was naked being her idol Marilyn Monroe, but unfortunately lasting another year without following Monroe’s fate, well, I’d show you an reminder but New York Magazine doesn’t like when you post their pictures without paying them, so I deleted that shit long ago. But I just came across these pics from the mag, where Kate Moss gets half naked and sure they won’t get as much buzz as her cokehead counterpart Lohan, cuz this cokehead’s already been naked a million fucking times, but I’m posting them anyway.

Posted in:Half Naked|Kate Moss|New York Magazine|Nipples

2009

23

Jan

Lady Gaga is Keeping Things Interesting of the Day

So Lady Gaga did a good job distracting me from her busted up weird lookin’ face in another weird costume that is probably going over well in the science fiction clubs across america, because she’s looks like a science project gone wrong, or one of the robot women they fantasize about marrying because they can be programmed to do anything. I don’t know who this bitche’s target market is, but I assume it is teenage girls, because there’s no way grown ups can stomach her garbage music, so let’s just assume a lot of 16 year old girls will finally be walking around in their panties once summer hits, trying to be just like their weak chin, permanently opened mouth idol. I’ve been waiting for this day to come pretty much all my life, so we should thank Gaga for that, once it happens, which it will.

Shit, I missed the tampon string making a quick escape, I guess it’s because I didn’t think this monkey wore tampons…because I just assumed she was the kind of guy with a penis and not a vagina…

Posted in:Half Naked|Lady Gaga

2008

21

Jan

Adriana Lima in Esquire Has Been Worth a Round Since She was 15 of the Day

These are some pictures from the February issue of Esquire that I am probably not legally allowed to post and will probably be getting a lawyers letter to take down because that’s how the internet works now that big corporations realize that it’s not just a place for virgins and losers looking for love and acceptance. Unfortunately at this website it is just a place for losers and virgins looking for love and acceptance and I feel like the ring leader, which would probably lead a normal person to jumping off a high rise, it leads me to feeling like I have a purpose and have found love and acceptance….just not in the supermodel form, which is what I originally set out to get when I started this site, because I know supermodels have nothing better to do than surf for the lamest celebrity blog out there and fall in love with the person who writes it badly because from what I’ve been told supermodels are big readers as long as the book doesn’t have too many words and and comes in the form of TV and cocaine.

Enough about me, here are those Lima half naked pictures that you should use to remind yourself that as long as you read this site, this is the closest you’ll get to a girl that looks anything like this…or any girl for that matter and it kinda makes me feel awkward that you chose me over pussy, but I am pretty confident you didn’t have much choice in the matter.

Bonus Adriana Lima in a Bikini When She Was 15 to Show You Where It All Started….Pervert…

Related Posts:

Adriana Lima in the Victoria’s Secret Fitting Room
Adriana Lima Does Airport Security
The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in Picture

Posted in:Half Naked|Unsorted