Unsorted Archives - Page 123 of 511 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

27

Jun

I am – Noelia the Puerto Rican Singer's Sex Tape of the Day

I have no idea who this is and I assume she’s not that famous because Puerto Rico isn’t big enough to have celebrities, unless they come to America and dress like J.Lo, but I do know that she was in a Sex Tape and that this is that Sex Tape. The fucking quality of the sound makes me assume these fuckers are using some 1950’s video camera because they are all third world and shit, but she takes it in the ass and that’s really what dreams are made of.

The reality of the whole thing is that if you are a popstar anywhere, even if you’re from some middle of fucking no where russian town, you shouldn’t let your boyfriend film you fucking, it’s going to hit the internet. The dream may be that it launches you into international fame, but reality is that people like you just like seeing girls fuck and it doesn’t matter who they are or what they do. I can guarantee that none of you fucks are going out to buy her CDs after seeing this, but at least you got to see it.

I love that celebrity sex tapes don’t use condoms. I don’t think this bitch is a celebrity, but I do think that real celebs don’t wear condoms either, that’s why they all have herpes. I was sent a few porno movies a while ago and every fucking dude in them wore condoms, I guess it’s the law after that whole AIDS scare a few years ago, but I was raised on watching condomless sex, and I don’t think you should bang that random without a condom on, because STDs suck, but if you’re going to jerk off to some porn, why the hell would they throw in a tool that fucks up your hard ons in real life. That would be like throwing in a picture of your mom in the top right corner like they do for deaf people on Sesame Street saying shit like “Son, I know what you’re doing, stop that, your mother is watching”.

Either way – Here’s the video – It’s NSFW – It’s from Rapidshare – It’s a RAR File – I don’t Know How To Convert/Upload – If you can do it, send it my way, thanks….
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You can stream it here
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Posted in:Noelia|Popstar|Porn|Sex Tape|Unsorted

2007

27

Jun

I am – Geri Halliwell’s See Through Outfit of the Day

1 Comment »

Ginger Spice is a little washed up. I think that she was even washed up when she started in the Spice Girls many years ago after being a stripper and amateur nude model so I guess this attempt at being sexy is expected from a girl who’s tits brought her to the top. She also just had a kid and as Britney Spears proves everyday, having a kid means months of being sprawled out on the doctor’s table for everyone to examine your box. It also means months of pulling your tit out where ever you are to make your baby stop crying. So when you have a kid, you usually forget what your lady parts were made for, well maybe that is what they are made for, but to every dude out there, they are made for other things like not having babies and only being sucked by them for the 15 minutes they last. That said, I guess a lot of pregnant chicks and post pregnant chicks never fully bounce back to where they were before their bodies were ravaged, so the day they look in the mirror and think to themselves that they’ve got it back, they want the world to know it and dress like this.

I am not really complaining, I am just too distracted by her clown hair, I feel like I am watching some new age kids show and I’m just waiting for bitch to start juggling.

But celebrities in bras are celebrities in bras and it’s my job to post them so here’s a little more Ginger Spice than we’ve seen in a long time and I guess that’s a good thing to some of you.

2007

27

Jun

I am – Geri Halliwell's See Through Outfit of the Day

1 Comment »

Ginger Spice is a little washed up. I think that she was even washed up when she started in the Spice Girls many years ago after being a stripper and amateur nude model so I guess this attempt at being sexy is expected from a girl who’s tits brought her to the top. She also just had a kid and as Britney Spears proves everyday, having a kid means months of being sprawled out on the doctor’s table for everyone to examine your box. It also means months of pulling your tit out where ever you are to make your baby stop crying. So when you have a kid, you usually forget what your lady parts were made for, well maybe that is what they are made for, but to every dude out there, they are made for other things like not having babies and only being sucked by them for the 15 minutes they last. That said, I guess a lot of pregnant chicks and post pregnant chicks never fully bounce back to where they were before their bodies were ravaged, so the day they look in the mirror and think to themselves that they’ve got it back, they want the world to know it and dress like this.

I am not really complaining, I am just too distracted by her clown hair, I feel like I am watching some new age kids show and I’m just waiting for bitch to start juggling.

But celebrities in bras are celebrities in bras and it’s my job to post them so here’s a little more Ginger Spice than we’ve seen in a long time and I guess that’s a good thing to some of you.

2007

27

Jun

I am – Lohan’s Pot Belly Takes a Walk of the Day

1 Comment »

Another day in summer camp, or celebrity rehab, or whatever the fuck Lohan is doing in efforts to clean up her image and today’s activity involves going on a hike with friends and smelling the fucking roses. It’s a hard life when you’re young, rich and think of yourself as so fabulous even though your hurting on the inside and self-medicating, crashing cars and slutting yourself out.

Lohan seems to have let herself go, I guess the lack of cocaine that I bet she’s still doing in the comfort of her rehab center that is probably provided by the staff, because she’s not really in there to get better, she’s in there to look like she’s getting better, but she’s still rockin’ a gut, so I guess there giving her food.

I am not about to call her fat, because my wife is fat and I know fat in ways you never want to know fat, but I will say that she’s fat for a celebrity and that she’s giving the girls some pretty negative example by showing off that quitting drugs and booze makes a bitch lose all of her sexual appeal, leading me to believe that being on drugs and booze made Lohan a better fuck and now that it’s all over she’s gone to shit….So I guess the lesson of the day is to stay on drugs.

It is hot outside, I just woke up and I got no fucking stories worth telling….I’ll keep trying though.

Posted in:Fat|Hiking|Lindsay Lohan|Rehab|Unsorted

2007

27

Jun

I am – Lohan's Pot Belly Takes a Walk of the Day

1 Comment »

Another day in summer camp, or celebrity rehab, or whatever the fuck Lohan is doing in efforts to clean up her image and today’s activity involves going on a hike with friends and smelling the fucking roses. It’s a hard life when you’re young, rich and think of yourself as so fabulous even though your hurting on the inside and self-medicating, crashing cars and slutting yourself out.

Lohan seems to have let herself go, I guess the lack of cocaine that I bet she’s still doing in the comfort of her rehab center that is probably provided by the staff, because she’s not really in there to get better, she’s in there to look like she’s getting better, but she’s still rockin’ a gut, so I guess there giving her food.

I am not about to call her fat, because my wife is fat and I know fat in ways you never want to know fat, but I will say that she’s fat for a celebrity and that she’s giving the girls some pretty negative example by showing off that quitting drugs and booze makes a bitch lose all of her sexual appeal, leading me to believe that being on drugs and booze made Lohan a better fuck and now that it’s all over she’s gone to shit….So I guess the lesson of the day is to stay on drugs.

It is hot outside, I just woke up and I got no fucking stories worth telling….I’ll keep trying though.

Posted in:Fat|Hiking|Lindsay Lohan|Rehab|Unsorted

2007

26

Jun

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

51 Comments »

Some guy messaged me today telling me that his 6 year old has better grammar than me. I told him to give me his email because I’d like him to write the site for me. He didn’t pull through but I know that there would be nothing funnier than having a 6 year old write about Paris Hilton’s ass or some shit. Looks like that dream isn’t going to happen though.

I am trying to find ways to make the site better without actually working. I am pretty sure one day the golden idea will come to me but until then, here are my links.

Alanis Morissette is Fucking Ugly Even in a Bikini
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Justin Doesn’t Care that Jessica Biel has a Dick when she wears Tank Tops and Tight Jeans
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Some Asshole Gets Lohan’s Email and Harasses Her Without Realizing That That is My Fucking Dream
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WIll Ferrell Hits the Internet with Viral Videos With Some Kid Named Pearl
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Hilary Duff Showing Off Her Toned Body in a Bikini Video
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Elisha Cuthbert Slowly Tries to Bring Her Sexy Back and by Slowly I mean Really Fucking Slowly, this bitch is a Disaster…
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Some Playboy Party Pictures With Lenka Janistova
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Kristin Cavallari is a Drunken Whore In a Low Cut Dress
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This is the Dutch Babe of the Year, Her Name is Fatima Moreira de Melo
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Some Dude Fucks his Secretary Not Sure if it’s Real
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Quentin Tarantino Sucks on some Bitch’s Toes
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Kelly Clarkson is Fat in Fuck Me Boots
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Kelly Clarkson is Still Fat in Stupid Shirts
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Girl Deep Throats on Cam and Throws Up
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Some Breast Hidden Camera Video
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Rosie Dresses Her Kid Up in Bullets to Make a Point
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I always Loved Kate’s Playground and her Hoof… Nice to See She’s Still Working….
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Girl Gets Bottle Rocket Shot Out of her Ass
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A Little Dog Humping Video Action
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A Reader Writes About Rosie Dressing Her Kid Up in Bullets in the Forum
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This Bunny Destroys this Cat and it’s fucking Sexy…
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Paula Abdul is Crazy and Has a New Show and Tits in this Photoshoot
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Some Amateur Sex Video
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Dog Licks Pam Anderson’s Tit
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Paris Hilton Drew A Picture for TMZ Owner and Didn’t Send me Shit
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Some Bikini Shoot With Some Whore Named Chris Thomson
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Dude Swims in a Grease Dumpster
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This Photographer is From Montreal and That Means So Are the Nipples in these Pictures
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Cops Taking Down Skateboard Punks….
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Some Chick Bouncing Around to Shitty Country Music in her Underwear
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Some Benz Honks Down an Old Lady Crossing the Street
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Some Coney Island Mermaid Parade Video
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Some Coney Island Mermaid Parade With Sluts
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Some Girl Fucks a Fish
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Lookin’ Good Kim Kardashian
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Dina Lohan Used Cocaine when Pregnant with Lindsay…No Big Surprise…
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Creepy Club Kids with Dildos and Song….
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Steroids could be the Cause of the WWE Double Murder Suicide…Sad
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Hilary Duff is Slowly Getting Hotter as Time Goes On…
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Hot Ass Tattoo
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart – Picture 4
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Life’s Too Short For the Wrong Job…
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Joss Stone Tattoos Her Head…
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Some Dude Catches a Pedophile on MSN – I can’t read what’s going on but I used to do pranks like that…
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Emma Watson from Harry Potter is 17 and Has tits
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Some CNN Reporter is 4 Months Pregnant, Had a Shotgun Wedding and Hid it All From Everyone…
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Some Reader Sends Me Death Threats Because I Refuse to Link this Garbage
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Lookin Good Sweetheart
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Cum on Mary Kate Olsen
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Cam Girl Brianna and Her Really Short Skirt
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What is this Mangina Shit?
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Use this Spray To Get Laid, It’s More Legal That Roofies.
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Use this Site to Find Dates to Use That Spray On…
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

26

Jun

I am – Britney Spears Goes Out in her Bra of the Day

6 Comments »

I don’t really know why I bother, but I do, and here is a second set of Britney pics, only this time bitch is rockin’ a bra out to some club….because she’s crazy and likes getting more attention than she deserves. At first I thought it was her way back into the scene after dumping K-Fed, now I think it’s some kind of weird punk rock rebel attitude where she’s basically telling all of us to fuck ourselves. I am ok with that because I like girls who show off their tits, even when their tits are ratty old dried up milk sacks that don’t look like they did when she was at her prime.

Rockin’ a bra in public deserves some respect as most girls I know need a lot of roofies to get naked, not that I encourage that kind of behavior, you just do what you gotta do in life, that’s all I am saying….not that I am really a date rapist, my limp dick is pretty non-threatening but I am sure some of you are, because getting pussy was never easy and 10 dollars and an understanding cab driver is all you really need to get ‘er done.

In reality it’s not even really date rape if you wear a condom. Condom sex is like shaking hands with a rubber glove on. There’s a shield between you and your friend so it technically isn’t even sex. That’s what I used to tell my wife when I used to cheat on her…I’d be like baby, I used a condom and condoms mean I didn’t even bang her, the condom did but reality is I never wore a condom and ended up giving her some HPV and she wasn’t impressed.

I guess lucky for her, Karma is a bitch and now my junk doesn’t work, but at least I have the memories and pictures of Britney Spears to remind me what I am missing, which isn’t really all that much. Cuddles.

Posted in:Bra|Britney Spears|Drunk|Tits|Unsorted

2007

26

Jun

I am – Science of Love Nipple Slip of the Day

1 Comment »

So there was a show that aired yesterday on NBC called the Science of Love and it is a pretty simple concept:

An elibigle bachelor dates two separate women – one chosen by experts based on his biological and psychological makeup, and the other chosen by him based on raw attraction. Which woman will win his heart? Find out in this unique original hour-long special hosted by Mark Consuelos. Music provided by: Novillero, Spider Problem, Flyleaf, Tele.

I didn’t watch it because I don’t have a TV, it broke last week and when I did have a TV I only got one channel that wasn’t NBC. I am lucky enough to have a reader named CRAZY who felt obligated to send in this nippleslip to me and since CRAZY went to all that effort for me, I had no choice but to do a post for him. I am trying to encourage all you fuckers to give me hot leads because I am tired of having all the same fucking pictures as every other blog out there. So be a little more like my reader named CRAZY.

I have been trying to come up with reality TV show ideas that I could try to sell and make my mark on the world, but all I have come up with is making a poor desperate man who hates his life live his dream life in an all expense paid villa with unlimited booze, viagra and hookers under the age of 25. I have a feeling it won’t sell.

I could never come up with this kind of love match bullshit that middle age wives are into because I find the whole thing bullshit. We all know that people marry out of convenience and that there is no such thing as real love, it’s more a combination of lust and fear of being alone. Maybe I am just saying that and don’t actually believe it, but if all the bitches who eat this shit up were really in love, I doubt they’d be sitting at home watching it. I may be called a porn site and there may be porn sites out there that cater to men jerking off, but what you don’t realize is that this kinda shit is smut for older ladies, it’s their kind of porno and since it’s more socially accepted, has less nudity and everything sexual is implied and not made obvious it’s making assholes out there rich while I sit here getting typecast in my filthy shitbox I call home. That said, at least the editors are letting nipple slips make it to Air, because at least now we can finally say shows like this have done something good for us rather than make our wives want new cock and point out all our imperfections because we are too embarrassed to take them horseback riding or some shit. In my case, I am not romantic for the sake of the horse, but you fuckers have no excuse.

I’d like to thank CRAZY for making this post possible with his 16 inch TV and his digital camera. I guess being CRAZY isn’t so bad.

Posted in:NBC|Nip Slip|Nipple|Science of Love|Unsorted

2007

26

Jun

I am – Lohan's Ass Goes to a Movie of the Day

No Comments »

These pictures were taken couple days ago and they are of her going to a movie when she was in rehab. I already gave you a taste of my experience in rehab where I wasn’t allowed to do anything, couldn’t make a phone call, was forced to do chores and group therapy with other nut jobs who had been driven to drink because they were raped, molested, mistreated, had low self esteem, hated themselves, never had a father and other fucking things that were leading me to drink because my life wasn’t as bad, I just drank because it was fun. Anyway, if my rehab experience meant days at the beach, days at the movies, late night pizza parties and whatever else this slut is doing, I would have tried to stay in there longer, rather than spend my days plotting my escape.

What Lohan needs to be plotting is a way to land a better body. Bitch is boxy has no real ass, but what she does have of an ass is some weird indented shit that reminds me of her Mercedes after she crashed it while jacked on coke and drunk that lead to her stint in rehab holiday. Her legs are thick and she runs like a retarded kid at the institution during soccer hour, but I still like to think that I am connected at the soul with this bitch, I just haven’t bothered writing about it, calling her, sending her myspace messages, busing to LA to hide in her closet and stalk her proper, because her quitting drinking has really let me down. I don’t want anything to do with her until bitch drops the bible and self help books and starts eating pussy in club bathrooms again.

Posted in:Ass|Lindsay Lohan|Rehab|Unsorted

2007

26

Jun

I am – Lohan’s Ass Goes to a Movie of the Day

53 Comments »

These pictures were taken couple days ago and they are of her going to a movie when she was in rehab. I already gave you a taste of my experience in rehab where I wasn’t allowed to do anything, couldn’t make a phone call, was forced to do chores and group therapy with other nut jobs who had been driven to drink because they were raped, molested, mistreated, had low self esteem, hated themselves, never had a father and other fucking things that were leading me to drink because my life wasn’t as bad, I just drank because it was fun. Anyway, if my rehab experience meant days at the beach, days at the movies, late night pizza parties and whatever else this slut is doing, I would have tried to stay in there longer, rather than spend my days plotting my escape.

What Lohan needs to be plotting is a way to land a better body. Bitch is boxy has no real ass, but what she does have of an ass is some weird indented shit that reminds me of her Mercedes after she crashed it while jacked on coke and drunk that lead to her stint in rehab holiday. Her legs are thick and she runs like a retarded kid at the institution during soccer hour, but I still like to think that I am connected at the soul with this bitch, I just haven’t bothered writing about it, calling her, sending her myspace messages, busing to LA to hide in her closet and stalk her proper, because her quitting drinking has really let me down. I don’t want anything to do with her until bitch drops the bible and self help books and starts eating pussy in club bathrooms again.

Posted in:Ass|Lindsay Lohan|Rehab|Unsorted

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