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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2006

12

Dec

I am – Letter to DJ AM of the Day

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Here are the Adriana Lima pics that everyone has beat me to today.

Let’s face it, I don’t bring the news and when I do, it’s usually late because I am lazy and like sleeping. I realize that I have been spending way too much time on my computer because my eyes are bugging out all the fucking time and I see black spots everywhere I look, but it’s all worth the pain in making you smile for no monetary return. I am like Patch Adams in this motherfucker.

Speaking of Pain, I wrote DJ AM an email about Nicole Richie’s recent arrest just for fun and because I am a bit of an asshole. I have his email address because he did an interview with me a long fucking time ago and stopped responding to my emails after I sent him a link of Nicole and Steve-O holding hands and wrote “I guess she’s officially damaged goods now, good thing you got that skinny cunt out of your life” or something like that.

Either way, here’s the email I sent him.

Dear Dj AM,

I saw that your girl Nicole got arrested for being jacked on Vicodin and weed, weighing in at 85 lbs after letting Good Charlotte fuck her up the ass.

I am emailing you to congratulate you on getting her out of your life, because let’s face it, she may have helped you launch your career and she’s probably a good person and all that but no one wants to hang out with someone with someone with that much baggage.

I think it’s great that you’ve moved on. Watching her fall deeper and deeper into the hell that is her life may be sad, but at least you’ve got you new Publicist and Booking Agent and Fan Club.

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

For more on the Richie Case – GO HERE

For Some 911 Phone Call Action GO HERE

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

12

Dec

I am – Rebecca Loos Bikini of the Day

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Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

12

Dec

I am – Scarlett For Louis Vuitton

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Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

12

Dec

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I was walking by a trendy bar this past weekend and looked in the window, like helpless homeless looking people sometimes do. It was cold outside and the warm holiday cheer I saw inside was nice. However, behind all the nice, it reminded me of why I do what I do and that is so that I don’t have to go to work daily with people I find annoying then go out to bars with them pretending we are friends because it’s good work etiquette. I don’t have to pretend to be anyone’s friend unless I want to be their friend. But I do miss the night of free drinking they gave us for the company Christmas Party. I went to 2 and was fired a week before the third one and I realized that no matter how much I dislike being in someone’s company, enough booze can make that person bearable. That trendy bar was bustling with Company Christmas Cheer and I even saw a 50 year old making out with a 20 year old. I can only assume he was her boss or maybe just some rich guy financing her coke habit.

Speaking of habits, here are some links for the day.


Pam Anderson’s New Playboy Shoot
GO

Another Girl in Her Underwear Video
GO

Paris Hilton’s Got A Wonky Eye
GO

This Reminds Me of You…
GO

Teens Caught Banging in Some Internet Cafe
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart (NSFW)
GO

Zini Likes Lesbians…
GO

Shania Twains Tits Again…
GO

This is a Video of Girls Dancing for You, Not as Hot as it Sounds
GO

Lastnightsparty at Mansion in Miami
GO

Israeli People Know How to Market a TV Show
GO

Girl Plays With Her Underwear, Not As Exciting As It Sounds
GO

Top 10 Movies To Put You in the Mood
GO

Hot Myspace Girl
GO

This is her Personal Site
GO

Some More Lastnightsparty in Miami Only With Tit
GO

Here are some Retro Lingerie Pics
GO

Dakota Fanning Looks Like a Troll or Something Like That….
GO

Britney Caught Kissing Some Dude
GO

Some Arab Runs on the Treadmill
GO

This is some Joe Rogan stand up. I laughed at how he dealt with the heckler…he showed her….I am glad I sent him a stepSHIRT he probably never wears…
GO

This is the city i live in…it’s still this annoying
GO

Frat Boys are A Lot Like Terrorists….Only They Get Their Gfs to Take Off Their Shirts, Not To Blow Up Buses..
GO

I hate thecobrasnake
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Hot Vida Geura Pics
GO

Handicap People Music Video
GO

Hot Rachel Bilson Pics
GO

Rachel Ray’s Nipples
GO

A Britney Spears Celebhead Video that Will Make You Laugh
GO

If you Buy This Shirt, You Are a Fucking Loser
GO

This is How I Pay For the Server and It will Get You Laid. That’s a Fact and You Need It…That’s Also A Fact…
GO

Rosie O’Donnel is a Racist and No One Cares…
GO

I like to think of myself as a Dancing Fool too
GO

Tammy Fey Bakker’s Son Is A New Wave Evangelist
GO

This Video Is Called McRhyme
GO

Britney Spears Nipples
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

12

Dec

I am – Random Message to Paris Hilton of the Day


I Am – Random Message To Paris Hilton Number 2 Of The Day – video powered by Metacafe

The joke in this feature is that we call Paris Hilton and pretend that we don’t know that it is her. Leave an awkward and embarrassing message to some other person so that when she checks her message she’s all like “what the fuck is this” provided she is smart enough to check her messages. I got this idea when I was text messaging her a few months ago, because I didn’t want to do the typical “Paris you have herpes” dis, I thought it would be funnier to confuse her. This is the phase 2 of that concept.

This is the first Random Message I sent her GO

I have no idea where my text message history with her is, but it’s on the site somewhere.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|stepEXCLUSIVE|stepSTALKER|Unsorted

2006

11

Dec

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe It In 10 Words or Less

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If it’s so legendary…why haven’t I heard about it? That’s my question for the day.

Posted in:stepBOX|stepEXCLUSIVE|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

11

Dec

I am – Selma Hayek Campari Calendar of the Day

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I am listening to Bing Crosby and David Bowie Christmas Carols, because it’s a wonderful time of year. I was walking around the streets last night, because sometimes with no money in your wallet and no interest in smelling your fat wife’s donut breath, walking is all there is to do. I don’t mind it. I looked in store windows and ran into a group of Filipino women with a guitar who asked me to donate to the Children’s Wish Foundation. I am pretty sure they are the same Filipno’s who pretend to be celebrities on Myspace. I gave them my $2 that I had stolen from the wife for a coffee, I figured they could use it more than me, because let’s face it, it’s all about the kids and they started rockin’ out with some Christmas song. My new life goal is to track those Crazy Ladies down and make stepVIDEO because it was that amazing.

Speaking of Amazing, here are some Selma Hayek Breast Pics for a Campari Calendar…I am Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time….


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

11

Dec

I am – Kate Moss Topless Pics of the Day

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I had a Christmas Miracle this weekend. I was walking home from the Mission where I was doing some Christmas shopping for my girls, because I am on a budget and on the walk I noticed a Range Rover with a tree strapped to the roof. I moved quickly and used my lighter to burn off the ropes that tied it down, got the tree off and ran home with it. Unfortunately running for me is walking really slow and the bitch with the Range Rover totally busted me. I was a little embarrassed and told her the story of how I don’t have a job, how I am an immigrant, how my wife is fat and dying and how I run an unsuccessful website. When she asked what the website was called, I told her, and she freaked out. It’s one of her daily site visits and she gave me the tree and asked for an autograph. She’s reader number 12 but I like her the best because she made my family’s Christmas Miracle come true and she didn’t press charges and now we have a luxury rich person’s tree in the middle of this shitty one-bedroom apartment.

Speaking for Christmas, here are some pics of Kate Moss Topless at the beach I fucking love this woman and I stole these pics from someone who stole from someone else who stole from some Photo Agency. It’s a fucking Christmas Miracle. That’s the Story I heard.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

09

Dec

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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Some guy doesn’t seem to be a major fan of my stepLINKS or my choice in header pics. This is the email he sent in:

Dear Jesus –

You inspire me daily with your blogs. The thing that really makes you special is you enjoy looking at and posting pictures of ugly, fat, and old bitches. I don’t know about you but these bitches have a place in society, and that place is called McDonalds. So unless you plan on opening up a site that is geared towards dudes with baby dicks who tend to fuck fat chicks, keep the blown up pussy off the site. I would rather take a shit in my hand and then place that shit back up my ass then look at those fat sluts with titties that look like dog’s ears. These pictures may not offend you because you are actually married to a fat Ronald McDonald slut but for christ sakes man spare some of us readers who don’t like bigmac sauce on their bitches vaginas.

With Love –
JDickHead

I don’t really have much of a response to that other than I do what I want and if that includes posting fat old ladies taking topless pictures of themselves then that’s just the way it goes. I don’t really value any of the opinions/advice/etc that my 10 readers give me especially when that person fails to see see the humor in 2 old ladies taking topless pics of themselves or of a pussy made to look like a burger that fooled me. You really should do more productive things, like buy my t-shirts.. CUDDLES….

Shania Twain’s Got Rockin’ Cleavage…
GO

It’s Called Jew-Rave Cuz It Only Cost 5 cents to Make…Or Something Like That…
GO

Guy Doing a Little Dance Cuz That’s What People With Webcam’s Do…
GO

2 People Who Think They Are Party Monster, Trying To Imitate SomethIng Party Monster Would Do, Because Trying to Be Original and Different Enjoys Company from Other Posers Trying to be Original and Different. We All Saw the Movie, Now Fuck Off…
GO

Beyonce’s Face is Melting Off
GO

Weird Bi-Sexual Emo Kids….Naked…
GO

Photobucket Corset Action…
GO

The Same PhotoBucket Naked…
GO

Probably a Stripper or a PornStar…
GO

A friend said never bang a girl with 3 kids, cuz it means she keeps them….
GO

Girls Kissing Video Cuz It’s Been Done But Always Hot…
GO

Pink is a Man and Pink Wears Latex. I Think She Uses The Name Pink To Throw Us All Off, Making Us Think “No Real Man Would Name Himself Pink..It’s Too Girly”…That’s Just What She Wants…
GO

Britney Spears Explains Her Vagina
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Renee Zellweger is Disgusting
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Sofia Hyatt See Through Dress…I don’t know who she is…
GO

Kristen Bell Supports Breast Cancer…But Doesn’t Show Us Her Tits…
GO

Full Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show
GO

Lohan Did Instyle Magazine in October…These Are Some Candids From The Parking Lot….
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Some Stacy Keibler Pics
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Message Board Thread of the Day
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Hips Don’t Lie Compilation
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Buy Nothing on X-Mas you Jesus Hating Jew
GO

Pole Dance Practice
GO

RIP Guy From C-Net…
GO

Lame Fingering an Ass Video
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Here’s the Fashion Model Directory Forum…
GO

This is Gay
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This is Called Too Much Boob To Handle.
GO

Caught in the Clauset – Good One You Fucking Jock Retards – Why Don’t You Do Another Keg Stand and Get your Girlfriends to Make out With Each other While You Smash Your Head Against the Wall.
GO

One of my reader’s Crazy Fucking Art…
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Hipsters in the Netherlands…
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I wasn’t Going to Link This But It’s Too Fucking Ridiculous To Not Post
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3 bottles for the Price of One Means Lots of Sex For You And Your Friends…
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Russian Sunglasses for You To Love
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This Dude is From Barcelona…
GO

Russian Street Style
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Short Skirts in the Ukraine
GO

Iranian Streetstyle
GO

Russian Photography With Naked Chicks…Way Cooler Than Last Night’s Party
GO

Russian T-Shirts are Cooler than My T-Shirts
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart…
GO

Almost Naked Art..
GO

Matt Is Gay
GO

A girl and a banana
GO

Rihanna In Arena Magazine
GO

Kristanna Loken Sex Scene
GO

Some Showgirls Gifs to Make You Giggle
GO

Submit your links HERE

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

08

Dec

I am – Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie Publicity Stunt of the Day

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There are pics of Paris and Nicole doing some sort of publicity stunt with some DJ AM looking piece of shit in a Santa Outfit. I find this so fucking obnoxious, but I am no authority on this kind of shit because if I was, I would probably be the one being written about, not doing the one doing the writing, provided you call this writing…..Either way, these girls are dirtbags and have banged a whole lot of men, and since they are famous, that means they don’t use condoms and with no condoms comes HPV.

Speaking of HPV, I went to the strippers last night and this is my conversation with one of the strippers who sat with me:

me – Can you get HPV from the Pole?

her – What’s HPV?

me – Genital Warts

her – Oh yeah, I get those all the time….

me – Nice, because if 80% of people have HPV, it’ the other 20% you want to stay away from cuz they are the minority, and you know what minority means…BAD….HPV is like designer jeans, where bitches are all like “what do you mean you passed you’re pap, that’s so lame, it’s all about pre-cancerous cells in your cervix these days, like get with it”……..

her – So do you want a dance?

me – Oh, I have no money, I probably should have told you that before you sat down.

And then she walked away…Here are the Christmas Pics, So get in the Christmas Spirit. Fuckers.


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted