Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
14
Nov
2006
14
Nov
I am not an investigative reporter, I am too lazy for that shit. I did create a facebook profile a couple weeks ago and I have added ever bat mitzvahed girl between the ages of 18 and 22 from Montreal and in doing that have found Kristen Cavallari’s facebook profile, so I did what any lazy mexican would and saved all her pics to my computer to post here for you. You’re welcome. My last post was too long so I am not going to write any comedy here, let’s just pretend Kristen Cavallari is comedy in and of herself….which isn’t that much of a stretch…..
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
14
Nov
I am not an investigative reporter, I am too lazy for that shit. I did create a facebook profile a couple weeks ago and I have added ever bat mitzvahed girl between the ages of 18 and 22 from Montreal and in doing that have found Kristen Cavallari’s facebook profile, so I did what any lazy mexican would and saved all her pics to my computer to post here for you. You’re welcome. My last post was too long so I am not going to write any comedy here, let’s just pretend Kristen Cavallari is comedy in and of herself….which isn’t that much of a stretch…..
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
14
Nov
I hate Jack Black, not because he made a mockery of my people in his movie Nacho Libre, but because he’s not funny. I never saw that Nacho Libre shit but can only assume it was shit because Jack Black is not funny. I realized that Jack Black wasn’t funny years ago, but I guess what I think doesn’t fucking matter because this cunt keeps getting work, like hosting some MTV awards show this past fall where he made a fool of himself .
I guess if that’s what makes for good comedy, I have no concept of funny, because let’s face it, if I did have a concept of funny, this site would be making money. Either way, I was blown the fuck away when I checked my inbox and found pictures of this motherfucker’s movie premiere for Tenacious D. I knew that this was his band that has been floating around the last couple of years but I never really knew much about them other than that they have always offended me with their obesity, fart jokes and whatever else they do that I have blocked out of my memory because every time they show up on TV or hits my computer screen I turn the fucker off.
Speaking of turning the fucker off, none of the bitches who went to his premiere were hot. Speaking of hot, a homeless man in a top hat just asked me if I worked on the computer and I said no and he said “so you’re telling me that’s not a computer” and I said “it’s a cell phone” and he got confused and walked away, but not as confused as the hippie in the corner who is looking at a map plannng his next obnoxious college backpacking adventure so that in 6 months from now he can come home and instead of telling people he had fun and got drunk and fucked bitches he’ll tell them that the trip changed his life like the emotional worldly and aware college kid that he is. He’ll go on to say that little Miguel with HIV in Ecuador changed his life and that they’ve exchanged email addresses and that he’ll be sending Miguel care packages until he saves enough money working at an organic health food store between volunteer sessions working with the homeless and taking classes on third world development to go rebuild Miguel’s village.
Speaking of third world development, Homeless Man Dance just walked in and I feel he could rebuild villages if he wasn’t so busy dancing. I’d do a follow-up on him but that would be overkill. Speaking of overkill, this post is way too long. Enjoy….and Cuddles (obvs)…
Other People in Attendance:
Ben Stiller and His Fat Wife….
Kristen Cavallari
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
13
Nov
My old army buddy was in town this past weekend for veteran’s day. We decided that it would be a great opportunity to catch up on old times and grab a couple of drinks in our army uniforms. We realize that people give veterans free stuff because of their own guilt from not serving their country. So we decided to go out to naked breakfast, only to be served by a floppy looking girl with genitals that were more meaty than the sausage she served us and nipples that had a greater circumference than the pancakes on my plate, but when a naked woman is serving you breakfast, you don’t really complain, because lets face it, an ugly naked girl is better than no naked girl, but you already know that don’t you. Your sex life wouldn’t be around if it wasn’t for the ugly girls. Anyway, our day continued by going to the Memorial Day service where we were treated like kings, we were given all kinds of free goodies in some gift bag for being in attendance, I felt like Brad Pitt at the Academy Awards pre-party. We continued our uniform clad day at the strip club where we didn’t pay a penny and got completely inebriated and lap dance after lap dance. I even convinced 2 amateur girls that happened to be in the club to get up and do a show, because they were hotter than the hired strippers, mainly because they were in their everyday clothes and because they were with their boyfriends. They didn’t want to at first but the fact that it was memorial day and that it was a time to honor our troops lead them to a 3 song special. Next up was the olympic stripper, I call her the olympic stripper because she had the dancing abilities that made me think of China. Her ability to shake her ass and slap each ass cheek independently against the pole was something only a girl who was bread and trained from a young age could do. I am talking trained like chinese gymnastic camps that I saw a documentary one where they train 12 hours daily from the time they are 2 to make it. We spent a total of $5, everything was complimentary because we were in uniform, I guess the joke is on everyone considering neither of us ever served in the army, but probably should have if I had known people were so generous. Speaking of pretending to be something your not, Chyna, the wrestler not the gymnastic training camp, has lead people to believe she was a woman for all this time, she’s been getting drinks bought for her and has even made money and more importantly has had some hetero men like you jerk off to her while watching her wrestle and her sex tape, but in reality, it was all just a fucking costume. Her real name is Carl and she just cut off his dick to look good in a leotard for the WWF and here she is classing it up in a way only someone who cut off his penis could…
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
13
Nov
I have enough trouble understanding a dude who sits at home watching the Jennifer Love Hewitt show about talking to Ghosts, even though I have watched the show a handful of times. I figure I am the exception to the rule because I have no friends, no money and no cable. The fact that I have one channel and no budget to do much else is who I assume who the market of the show is. After watching the show, I would have never expected anyone to take screencaps. Not because Jennifer Love is in it, because I know weird internet losers love this bitch, but because no matter how much any loser likes this horse faced cunt, capping the show would mean that they actually had to watch the shot. It would also mean that they can afford technology that could provide them with better entertainment than “Ghost Whisperer” ever could. I can only assume that the dude who took these caps was the same guy who works at the local hobby store selling model cars to kids to make enough money to pay for his computer parts. The same guy who never married and who causes discomfort in parents everytime little Johnny wants to go shopping there. He’s the kind of guy who lived in his mother’s basement until she moved to Florida for retirement when he was 42 and since she sold her house and forced him to venture out on his own. The lack of personal interaction has forced him to develope this new hobby combining his best friend (computer) and his fantasy girl (Jennifer Love) and a split second of a thong shot later, the pics hit the internet. Thanks to “original capper” and his mom for making this possible. Now fuck off and stop hating my genius posts.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
13
Nov
I have enough trouble understanding a dude who sits at home watching the Jennifer Love Hewitt show about talking to Ghosts, even though I have watched the show a handful of times. I figure I am the exception to the rule because I have no friends, no money and no cable. The fact that I have one channel and no budget to do much else is who I assume who the market of the show is. After watching the show, I would have never expected anyone to take screencaps. Not because Jennifer Love is in it, because I know weird internet losers love this bitch, but because no matter how much any loser likes this horse faced cunt, capping the show would mean that they actually had to watch the shot. It would also mean that they can afford technology that could provide them with better entertainment than “Ghost Whisperer” ever could. I can only assume that the dude who took these caps was the same guy who works at the local hobby store selling model cars to kids to make enough money to pay for his computer parts. The same guy who never married and who causes discomfort in parents everytime little Johnny wants to go shopping there. He’s the kind of guy who lived in his mother’s basement until she moved to Florida for retirement when he was 42 and since she sold her house and forced him to venture out on his own. The lack of personal interaction has forced him to develope this new hobby combining his best friend (computer) and his fantasy girl (Jennifer Love) and a split second of a thong shot later, the pics hit the internet. Thanks to “original capper” and his mom for making this possible. Now fuck off and stop hating my genius posts.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
11
Nov
I went to a stripclub lastnight. The strippers were very fat. The young one was pregnant. When you get a lap dance from her she charged $5 more than the other girls, I guess it’s a 2 for 1 deal. That was a lame joke, but that’s ok because I’ve got a pocketful. I ended up at another club where I had to negotiate with the owner to let me in for free after they tried to charge me twice the cover charge because I can only assume they don’t like men who smell like piss to drink their alcohol. If you’re wondering why I haven’t updated. It’s because I went to a job interview today. I’d write about how great it went but I’d hate the cunt who was doing the interview to read this site and find out that whole time I kept staring at her boobs…..Speaking of boobs here are my links of the day….
Bellefire is some Irish Girl Group – I didn’t realize there were women in Ireland. I thought it was a place for gay men to drink and fight.
GO
Amateur Couple Having Sex – Safe For My Work…Not For Yours…
GO
This is a Sick Fucking Video – I watched a Few Seconds of It and Realized I Didn’t Want to Watch the Rest. I think You Should Read Attu’s Warning before going through with this. I seriously lasted about 1 second.
GO
Some Girl With Braces Naked….
GO
Elle Macpherson Nipples of Joy
GO
This is an INSANE Nipple Lick / Handjob Combo…I wonder If this Girls Know What She’s Up To on the Internet. This is Porn. That’s Your Warning.
GO
Britney Spears is all Full of Milk…That Lactating Whore…
GO
Shakira’s New Video Called Illegal. The Only Thing Illegal in It is her Work Visa. Cuz She’s Columbian..Get it? What’s with her voice?
GO
German Public Nudity is Always Worth Checking Out – Especially When It’s a Video and you have nothing better to do, which you don’t because everyone hates you.
GO
Shitty Britney Spears Shopping in a Santa Hat Footage…I suggest turning your sound off cuz mine is on right now and it’s fucking KILLING me….
GO
UltimateBet.com Won’t Kick You in the Balls … but they will Bore the Hell Out of You with Shitty Videos.
GO
Mardi Gras Blowjob Video – This is Also Porn but the Glow Stick is Too Fucking Funny to Not Post.
GO
Lookin Good Firecrotch…
GO
Danielle Lloyd is Miss Britain 2006
GO
Some Girls Showing Off Her Massive Tits Cuz She’s Fat
GO
An Amateur Girl Getting Her Ass Fingered on Webcam. Hot and Ass Fingering is ALWAYS safe for work. Just Tell Your Boss That’s How He Makes you Feel Everyday.
GO
Some Guy’s Photobucket Collection of Tit
GO
stepSTEVE sent in this link because he doesn’t use condoms because they aren’t as cool here as they are in Africa…Bet that’s never been said before.
GO
stepSTEVE sent in some Josie Maran Pics, I guess He doesn’t realize that my gmail was hacked because I dissed her for being pregnant…
GO
Some Gallery of Nip Slips…One of the Girls is Johannson…Who Cares…
GO
Rockstar Sase One and his band the Hardsteppers are Fisting Ass No More. Watch the Video.Watch the video.
GO
Girl Posing In Front Of Her Mirror…In Her Underwear…That’s the Story I heard….
GO
A Photobucket Slut to Make You Smile and Do Other Things Your Dad Grandmother is Watching You Do…
GO
Wear your Humor on Your Chest With One of These T-Shirts
GO
Girl in her Bra
GO
Drunk Girl On the Toilet in Make-Up
GO
Girl Grabbing Her Box
GO
Montreal Girls With Their Tongues in Each Other’s Mouth
GO
Hairy Back Eating Box
GO
Fake Vagina In Your Pants is Better Than No Vagina
GO
Top 25 Latino Movers and Shakers
GO
On November 9th – Wicked Weasel Updated Their Contributor Section and I was Happy…
GO
Amateur Porn Video Site Makes People Like Me Smile and People Like You Hate Your Life Because You’re a Gayer than Bicycle Shorts
GO
Keeley Hazell Goes Boxing Cuz She’s Got Nothing Better To Do With Herself
GO
Dirty Cops Make Me Laugh
GO
Some Girls Acting All Crazy
GO
Britney and K-Fed Meet Rumsfeld Video
GO
Girls of Tekken
GO
Old and Stale Uma Thurman Topless Pics Still Getting Tons of Traffic… Like Slamming a Girl You Already Fucked When You Can You Find Prime Pussy.
GO
500 Japanese People Fucking in the Same Place at the Same Time
GO
Add Me To Myspace, Even Though Myspace is Dead….
GO
Tattoo of the Day … Too bad the face isn’t as hot as the tattoo
GO
Who is Gigi Edgley and Why is She Naked..
GO
Another Photobucket Girl For you to Love…But I have a Feeling It’s not a Real Photobucket Girl but a Pervert Posting Pics of Non-Nude Models and Such…Just Click the Fucking Link…
GO
Melissa Midwest Did a Spread For Perfect 10 Magazine
GO
3 Girls and a Guy in a Hot Tub….This has to be fake…but I laughed
GO
Last Night’s Party Finally Does a Little Vagina
GO
Raymi the Minx is Selling Her Art on trendmill and Your Should Buy It….
GO
You’ll Need an Invite Code To Access Her Art on trendmill cuz the site is invite-only
GO
I was HOOKED on this Amateur Porn Site Today cuz sometimes watching girls on webcam is work.
GO
18 Pages of Some Dude’s Flickr Favorites…
GO
Maxim’s Top 24 Beauty Pageant Girls
GO
It’s Funny When People on the News Say COCK
GO
Kim Cattrall Upskirt to Vomit To….
GO
K-Fed’s Rider
GO
Laundry Room Girl Makes No Sense To Me, But The Girl Gets Down Into Her Underwear Which I Approve Of….
GO
Denise Richard’s Gallery…
GO
Zini’s Naked Model of the Day…
GO
This Cologne Will Get You A Hot Girl
GO
Some Woman Who Is Scared of a Snake While Wearing a Micro Bikini….of the day…
GO
This Is Not Annoying At All..
GO
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
11
Nov