Look at her with her smug little face and her crossed little arms, telling the world that she takes no fucking bullshit and that she calls the nanny, who she knows better than her own mother a cunt, because the Guatemala bitch didn’t bring her enough cookies and more importantly because she can. There are no consequences in her little Princess world, and for that we here at DrunkenStepfather.com hate her.

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I am not going to give a long-winded intro to this post, I just have to say the the Fleshlight discussion board makes me laugh. This guy wrote a fucking thesis paper on his first fleshlight experience, that proves my point that chronic masturbaters have few friends. You can argue it if you want, I just won’t believe you. I guess the only real confusion that came up was that this guy one jerked off using his hand for 2 weeks before getting a Fleshlight, obviously not too easily impressed, my prediction is that he rapes a girl within the next 5 years. Too bad we will never know….

Part 5 – First use
I won’t give a blow by blow description about what I’ve done with it after it was done warming up. Basically it should be self described. From the use, I was greatly surprised and really happy with the results. My stamina is extremely poor, to the point that I can’t control ejaculation the very best (thus any masturbation session lasts around 5 minutes tops with me). The one surprise that i also wasn’t expecting was the sensitivity of the penis after ejaculation in the FL. It was so sensitive, that I had to leave it in the FL for a minute or so before I could take it out. I never expected this, or anything – it was a very odd sensation.

So the pros:
1. Better feel than I anticipated. I’ve tried masturbation with the hand, and sometimes with cloth to a degree as that helped. The actual “hand” method most people are familiar with I never really understood fully until about 2 weeks ago, so I can’t compare too much – but i will say it was a pleasure I never expected.
2. Built well. I have a feeling this will last me awhile, especially with good care. I plan on buying new inserts over the course of the next few months.
3. Cleanup is relatively fast. I thought that cleanup would be a real problem, and take a long time – but cleanup right now took about 30 seconds, and is now drying. I’m using a town hanger to hold the FL in place while it dries.

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I am the biggest supporter of the no-bra movement. I fucking love that shit, even when a bitch has the biggest, downward pointing nipples, I don’t discriminate. Based on this picture it seems that although Lohan’s titties shrunk, her nipples stayed the same size, we can only hope that eventually her breasts turn into 2 giant nipples, and nothing else, only because I fuckin love that shit and it is all about me. My bigger concern with Lohan right now is that she’s been trying to remove her freckles with some Michael Jackson skin bleach, and it’s been leaving fucking disgusting shit stains all over her body. The yellow smudge reminds me of a time my liver gave out on me and my ass was spitting bile for a month. I neglected to tell you that throughout that month I was rockin the same pair of underwear…yes Lohan’s skin stains look like the stains that my underwear saw, I guess I technically saw the stains too, but I try to block out the memory, the smell however was so vile…it will stay with me for life…

Update: My liver is still fucked, but I just ignore it now….

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So she’s got a hoof for a foot, what’s the problem with a little imperfection?! She also gets naked on camera and seduces all of you with her perky breasts. That’s the reason I am posting this link to this forum post that will give you lots of pics of kate. Including a series that shows her junk from every angle. Now I am a big fan of checkin out a girl’s junk from every angle, and by junk I am not talking about her empties…although I am a fan of those, you would surprised how much money you make if you hit up people’s recycling box the day before the men come and take it away….I like to call that my fun money…and here is a link to a gallery that you may find fun, since you’re a pervert.

KATE KATE KATE

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So she’s got a hoof for a foot, what’s the problem with a little imperfection?! She also gets naked on camera and seduces all of you with her perky breasts. That’s the reason I am posting this link to this forum post that will give you lots of pics of kate. Including a series that shows her junk from every angle. Now I am a big fan of checkin out a girl’s junk from every angle, and by junk I am not talking about her empties…although I am a fan of those, you would surprised how much money you make if you hit up people’s recycling box the day before the men come and take it away….I like to call that my fun money…and here is a link to a gallery that you may find fun, since you’re a pervert.

KATE KATE KATE

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Greek people know shipping, and lucky for Paris Hilton’s fiance, daddy knew it well, leaving him a trust fund that allows her to see past his dirty greek looks and his afinity for fucking little boys up the ass. It’s true, all Greek people like anal sex, it’s not just a stereotype, and rumor has it that this motherfucker hasn’t even entered Paris’ babyhole, he’s been only doing it batty-styles. Point of the story is that Paris’ trust fund isn’t as big as the media makes it out to be, the Greek dude is rich enough to support her lavish lifestyle, and if she’s lucky, maybe he will get drunk enough and actual venture into the place many men have been before, I am talking about her pussy….once knocked up, Paris will find have a man to pay her way, still a daddy not hers, her baby’s get it! It all makes sense in my dirty mexican head. I remember fucking some bitch who wanted me to get her all knocked up and shit, she thought it would be her way to live the lazy life. I guess that’s what I get for not telling her the truth and that my lavish hotel room was really a park bench. Girls can be so dumb sometimes.

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Greek people know shipping, and lucky for Paris Hilton’s fiance, daddy knew it well, leaving him a trust fund that allows her to see past his dirty greek looks and his afinity for fucking little boys up the ass. It’s true, all Greek people like anal sex, it’s not just a stereotype, and rumor has it that this motherfucker hasn’t even entered Paris’ babyhole, he’s been only doing it batty-styles. Point of the story is that Paris’ trust fund isn’t as big as the media makes it out to be, the Greek dude is rich enough to support her lavish lifestyle, and if she’s lucky, maybe he will get drunk enough and actual venture into the place many men have been before, I am talking about her pussy….once knocked up, Paris will find have a man to pay her way, still a daddy not hers, her baby’s get it! It all makes sense in my dirty mexican head. I remember fucking some bitch who wanted me to get her all knocked up and shit, she thought it would be her way to live the lazy life. I guess that’s what I get for not telling her the truth and that my lavish hotel room was really a park bench. Girls can be so dumb sometimes.

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The digital camera and the internet has made getting your highschool sweetheart naked a lot fucking easier than when I was your age. All these girls see so much fucking porn, from such a young age that they are so much more sexed up than the girls were in my time. I am all for light denim, high-waisted jeans that make an ass look massive, but things are a little hotter now than they ever were. This includes girls being comfortable with their bodies and getting pics taken of themselves, not always a good thing, I am talking to you fatty, but you take the good with the bad…shit that’s like the theme song to “The Facts of Life”. Anyway – I came across a gallery of pics of ex girlfriends/or teen girls naked or semi-naked and I figured that you’d want to check it out. I always hook a brotha up….

Now check the gallery Here

If you have any pics you want featured on this site – send them my way!

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I know a floral button-up top that looks like it’s from K-Mart is supposed to make a bitch look all innocent, like a kindergarten teacher, but once a whore always a whore and there aint enough floral print button-up tops from K-Mart to change that. So what better way to embrace your journey into whoredom than to take it to it’s motherfucking roots. That means a back alley. Don’t deny you wonder how much the whores working the streets charge for a back alley blowjob, well when you are Brandon Davis (whoever the fuck that is) it’s free, but you gotta date the whore first….all this to say that if you look hard enough you can find yourself a back alley lovin for a pack of smokes, 20 dollars of crack and a canned good.

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Bam’s ex-girlfriend, the one who he has a sex tape with, has come out with the truth about our favorite big breasted slag Jessica Simpson. This is going to be all over the internet by the time you read this, but I figured I would post about it, because we are supportive of married women cheating on their loser meathead husbands with dirty skateboard kids…I don’t know what Nick was thinking when he married a virgin, I am thinking it was to further his career, they did get a TV show, and he did launch a solo career, it was a solid way to stay in the public’s eye, and not wash up like his loser boy-bandmates….back to the virgin thing, girls with few partners will venture out after getting fucked and realizing that they like getting fucked. They want to know what else is out there, and it’s pretty obvious that Nick is more interested in doing push-ups then getting up in her… that is the reason I only marry sluts.

Hear Interview Here
Watch the Bam and His Ex’s Sex Tape Here

via YEEEAH!

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