My site is running like fucking shit and I don’t know why. I can only assume this is what happens when you don’t pay the bills….

Either way, I still don’t know who Gemma Atkinson is, but I know she is some UK chick with huge tits and here she is drinking beer at some pub with her tits. I am all for equal rights but I don’t know if women should be allowed to drink beer, not because I am some kind of Nazi who thinks we should control what other people drink but because when I look at a girl drinking beer, I think of lazy, fat and sluggish and that doesn’t give me a boner.

I drink beer and have drank a lot of beer over the years and I have become an overweight mess who can barely get off the fucking couch to get another beer no matter how badly I want one and if that’s any indicator on what beer does to people and since there’s nothing I hate more than seeing a fat lazy bitch, it’s only needed to keep the beer out of the bitch’s hand unless you want her to be in the same condition, That is why I am more into my girls doing crystal meth, or E or even cocaine and Adderall because at least shit jacks them up and makes them bubbly and keeps them thin enough to want to see naked.

That said, sometimes bitches gain weight in some of the right places and since Gemma’s tits look real, she’s the kind of girl who gets more stacked the more shitty foods she eats and those discount natural breast implants that she got from spending 5k on food not plastic surgery are all good until her ass, stomach and legs decide to play catch up…..So enjoy it while it lasts you big titty lover.

Thanks Beer for showing me a good time and saving me money on plastic surgery by giving me the calories needed to grow my tits proper and hinder my judgement enough to have some great one night stands. You’re my best friend!

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I am pretty slow fucking moving today and I don’t really know why, maybe it’s the fact that my friend fed me all kinds of disgusting foods last night at his Superbowl party and my body is recovering, but I think it’s more likely laziness a laziness that is so intense it carries over into the performance of my shitty site that is taking an hour and a fucking half to load.

I don’t watch sports but I was happy to see the Giants win the Superbowl because I fucking hate that Tom Brady motherfucker. I feel like dude thinks he’s a fucking hero, banging supermodels, playing a perfect season, riding some kind of high horse that was nice to see him get kicked off. I am all about kickin’ ’em when they are up just as much as kickin’ ’em when they are down.

Either way, I know that he’s not banging Gisele’s brazilian homegirl who she probably doesn’t talk to because girls are jealous of each other, but someone is because Ambrosio is knocked the fuck up and for some reason still working while pregnant. I guess it’s the strict work-ethic that they have ingrained into their brazilian fisherman brains or some shit.

So if seeing pregnant models doing a photoshoot while rockin’ a little lingerie and a little fetus cookin’ in her gut turns you on….these will make you happy. I am just happy about thinking of what got her to this point, but that’s just because I like sluts and nothing says “I put out and don’t use condoms because everyone knows condoms suck” like this fertile bitch.

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I am useless and didn’t do my links over the weekend. I wish it was because I was out on some exclusive beach getting handjobs by girls in bikinis and living the life of luxury of a dot com millionaire but the reality is that I was just sitting in my shit hole of an apartment doing pretty much absolutely nothing except maybe staring at the wall or going to a friends to watch the Superbowl like I give a fuck about sports…

Here are a few links for the morning….don’t get to used to them because I doubt I’ll be doing this ever again….

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I am late starting today because I was watching this video on repeat for the last 4 hours. It is one of those so bad it’s fascinating but I am not sure why, maybe it’s the fact that bitch is in a bikini but I think it’s got more to it than that. Either way, I am a awake and here is Heidi Montag’s new music video.

Heidi Montag proves that anyone with enough money and enough teenage girls in her shitty fan club can convince a record label to produce an album for her. At least the dudes at the label weren’t complete assholes and realized that if she was in a bikini showing off her new tits, they song would be a bigger fuckin’ hit. This is one of those videos that would do better on mute because her screeching sounds don’t make me want to dance and I am a passionate dancer who has been known for dancing to the sounds of buses honking. I don’t know what I am talking about but I know that whenever I come across a real girl who can sing, I get excited, it always makes me me fantasize about them using my dick as a mic and singing into my asshole like it was their big break at the Apollo or some shit, but Heidi Montag’s just makes me feel like I am at the Mall in 1992 when they had this “Make Your Own” music video kiosk and all the girls would run their on their 16th birthdays to feel like stars for a minute…only Montag is less talented.

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Here are some Susan Sarandon showing off her massive old lady tits that have been around so long they have their own stories from the second World War . Reality is that I do not have an old lady fetish and thinking about their dried up, lacking elasticity, post birthing, used up cunts doesn’t get me off, but the simple fact is that pussy is pussy even if a woman is old enough to be your grandma and smells like polident and moth balls.

So if I am volunteering at the old folks home changing bed pans and scrubbing shit out of old lady asses and “accidentally” rub the right spot, and a bitch is like “stick it in my coochâ€? or their old lady equivalent term for cooch like “Tan Slacksâ€? or “Model T” or “Black and White TV” or “Flesh Beneath My Girdle” who am I to say no. I guess if I get to cum and she can’t get pregnant, then it’s not really volunteer work at all and we’re all fucking winners in the end, and ever since I was a kid, I always liked winning. Unfortunately, life never worked out that way for me.

I don’t know what I am talking about but here are some Sarandon tit pictures….

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More pregnancy tits making an appearance only this time they are on boring Jessica Alba. I figured I’d post them because you’re a pervert and a loser and you like her a lot more than you like other girls because she was in shitty shows and movies that comic book collecting losers into and I hate you for that is because I hate Jessica Alba.

So the problem with there being a lot more losers in the world than cool kids is that bitches like Alba get inflated egos and false popularity because the people who are searching her on Google are people you wouldn’t let sit next to you on the bus, or even talk to if they approached you on the street because their greasy chronic masturbating face in cum covered shirts scares you.

Either way, I saw a clip of Alba on Letterman earlier this week and they showed a clip of her from her new movie where she was in the shower and they had her naked body blurred out. When Letterman made a comment about it, she said the naked chick is her friend and that she doesn’t get naked in movies and I don’t understand what kind of actor can call themselves an actor without getting naked when the part calls for it. I guess the kind of actor with an ego caused by you, who now thinks she’s too good for getting naked unless it’s to dig her boyfriend’s condoms out of the trash to flip inside out and fuck herself with it in hopes of getting knocked up so he never leaves her.

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Here is Halle Berry rockin’s some See-Through because she’s a slut, proven by the fact that she’s got something cookin’ inside her uterus and it’s not an IUD it’s a baby.

I haven’t figured out why pregnant girls like wearing see-through shit but I can only assume it’s because they are so fucking big that it puts strain on the fabric of anything they own making shit see through, like whenever my wife tries to fit into her elastic band waisted fat lady jeans only to discover they don’t fit anymore and the seam in the crotch gets so pulled and the fabric in the inner thigh of her pants are practically invisible, showing off all kinds of things I don’t wish upon my worst enemy……

I guess it could also have to do with pregnant chicks trying to hold on to the thought of being sexy and showing all they can to get the same kind of attention their tits once did, or maybe it’s the complete opposite and they are just gave up on lookin’ hot and go out dressed the same way you’d see them dressed in their living room eating junk food watching romantic comedies, waiting to squeeze out that burden only to realize that once it’s out it’s a much bigger burden but at least your body bounces back to something worth fucking when you’re career depends on it…..

Unfortunately, the only bouncing my wife’s body will be doing, is up and down with every struggled breath she takes and not back into a relatively attractive dress size…..but that’s just the life I am living.

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I decided to declare a snow day today because it is snowing outside and I’ve never had the excitement of school being cancelled because of the weather since I never really went to school. I am smart like that.

Unfortunately, I got bored because I don’t read and don’t watch TV and still haven’t started drinking again because of this flu and figured I’d post these pictures of Sophie Monk because she has hot legs and I have an internet crush on her.

Dreams of doing a match.com commercial together like all the other losers who meet each other on the internet are probably unlikely because Sophie Monk is just pictures to me, and being on TV with a picture I fell in love with on the internet would be pretty humiliating but I guess that is what happens when you are unsatisfied in your pathetic life, like me.

Either way, I feel the more visibility she gets, the more fans she’ll get even if only 5 of you actually read the site and that will give her the taste of success that will lead to wanting more. When she realizes that the only way to get more is to get more naked and that will give me something more interesting to look at than my own belly hanging over the computer, despite how exciting that may sound.

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