DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2021

09

Feb

The Ratio Tuesday of the Day

I am not mathlete, but I do know what a waist to hip ratio and I like it….and so do other men…they’ve done scientific research on the ratio and men prefer a woman with a smaller waist than her bigger hips….you see it with all the social media girls who edit their pics to look like they have crazy waist to hip ratios…because they know that people like the ratio…it is more important than big tits, it can lead to bigger asses, or at least heart shaped asses, that come to a point at the top called a waist…

So girls of all sizes can have a ratio…and girls who don’t have a ratio…their boxy, hipless bodies….can’t compete…..so this is to celebrate science with girls who are proud to show off her waist to hip ratio cuz they know it’s hotter than being a boxy bitch…save the boxy for the trannies…yo.

(more…)

Posted in:The Ratio

2021

09

Feb

Kristin Cavallari Braless of the Day

No Comments »

Kristin Cavallari is a garbage mom of too many kids who thought she was a fucking hero because she was on a successful reality show, but was too good to get on the spinoff of the reality show that was actually the fucking hit….

She was Laguna Beach, too good for the Hills, not that I’ve seen an episode of either, but I am a fan of Spencer and Heidi….they’re good people…not that I know them…but I like them…

So instead of doing The Hills, she went onto get rich Athlete cock, rook him in, marry him, so that she would be set for life…

She’s recently divorced, doing this second wind or second stab at her career in her 30s, where she’s doing the influencer thing, pushing products and bullshit and trying to be all California girl…with her tits out in tight clothing, reminding anyone of Whole Foods or Spin class in the OC…which I guess is a thing….and I guess despite thinking she’s old, expired trash, I don’t mind the tight activewear outfit..I mean it’s like jerking off to the mom at the checkout line….before being kicked out of the store for not wearing a mask…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2021

09

Feb

Bella Hadid Sunburn of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know if Bella Hadid has had her ribs broken like she was Kim Kardashian, but her “RATIO TUESDAY” doesn’t make any fucking sense and is just awkward looking…

But I never had any hope for Bella Hadid, because I remember when she was the ugly, mousy sister to the much hotter Gigi back when Gigi was all the fucking rage before realizing she was rich, had a One Direction boyfriend and idn’t need to be a vapid cunt crying for attention…it’s something naturally hot girls do…they got nothing to prove they are just hot….while the ugly girls out there are the ones trying to convince us they are hot with all their filters, their procedures on their faces, their fucking bullshit..

So looking at Bella Hadid and seeing a fucking freak of nature, than remembering that this is the face and body that fashion has decided is the single most important look out there, even if it’s all fake…is fucking criminal, damaging to the youth and misleading because she’s not hot…

They just like her views…and I guess she likes her views also…because she posted this strategically when The Weeknd was doing his half time show to get the residual “didn’t he date that monster Bella Hadid, you know the freak with all the plastic surgery that they try to pawn off as a naturally hot model in high fashion”….views…because she’s just fucking clickbait…and not good clickbait…rugged and disgusting clickbait…but she’s half naked and has tits so there’s that.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Bella Hadid

2021

09

Feb

Phoebe Tonkin Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Pheobe Tonkin may be a barely famous Australian actress who was on the Vampire Diaries with Nina Dobrev the ginger fucker…as well as a spinoff of the Vampire Diaries…

But more importantly, she’s got a hot tight body in her bikini…it’s fit.

The good thing about Australian girls is that they come with a level of trashy surf bro attitude and they are hot…so unlike Americans where 1% of the population isn’t some obese motherfucker headed to Walmart for a barrel of fucking Cheese Puffs, the whole culture is based on fit, healthy, babes who like to party…the perpetual vacationers…which means that this one doesn’t have an ego that she’s better than the peasants, maybe her lackluster acting career has something to do with that to…you know HUMBLING…but since so many Australian girls are hot trashy bitches, that’s just normalized…making Phoebe Tonkin just livin her life as she shows off how skinny she is…but not in a cunty way, more in a jerk off to her wetness way…unless this is her bragging…I don’t know her…I just know I like her.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Phoebe Tonkin

2021

09

Feb

Tiny Tits Tuesday of the Day

No Comments »

It goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway, tiny tits are titties too…and even though they aren’t as heavy, they are worth as much as big fat sloppy tits, because women aren’t the deli counter, even if some of their vaginas look like they are.

I am a big fan of small tits, they carry themselves better in most positions, and big tits are a real roll of the dice gamble as to whether they’ll be as good as they look like they’ll be….or that the body they are attached to will be as tight as you’d want it to be, because genetically girl store fat…

I am a believer that a tighter, fitter body statistically comes with a set of small tits…nicer asses too..

I am a believer that fake tits are disgusting and self mutilating and that if you have small tits take owning them instead of destroying them into account…it’s a viable option…

So the unicorn of small body with big tits happen and it’s amazing, but the day to day tit target should be small tits…unless you’re into fat chicks in which case…you’re disgusting…

(more…)

Posted in:TINY TITS

2021

09

Feb

McKayla Maroney Hard Nipple of the Day

No Comments »

People get so mad when you talk abotu McKayla Maroney taking that cash settlement from the Olympic team for exposing her and her teammates to criminal pervert doctor who would literally finger the teen girls when they came to him over sprained ankles and shit because their stage parents were just that fucking idiotic and sold on not ruining the opportunity of a lifetime to be Gymnastic heroes…

The parents should be in jail along with the pervert team doctor, seriously…

Except maybe Maroney’s parents, since Maroney apparently treated the whole experience like a sex worker would, with a little cash exchange since everyone’s got a price…

Why testify, when you can get paid!!

Not to mention, Maroney, soon after her Olympic win that made her a Meme and an Olympic hero when she was likely barely 18, was so quick to jump on social media to show off her body in bikinis, doing flexible shit to sexualize herself so that only a molested girl of her age could really properly execute…you know sexualizing herself when other girls her age were still playing with barbies…there’s always that girl in the group of girls…the pervert….

Obviously, being slutty on the internet helped elevate her fame and fortunes because Americans are perverts into gymnasts half naked…on the internet….

Only when she took the cash grab, she disappeared, but is back, probably planning an Only Fans launch that will get her paid out like a sex worker she trained to be…OLYMPIC level trained sex worker has a good ring to it…and this is her showing titties in a top…barely…but there’s nip…you know so we can support American Olympic heroes and such..

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:McKayla Maroney

2021

09

Feb

Amanda Cerny’s Weak Nude Video of the Day

No Comments »

Amanda Cerny was one of the least eventful Playboy chicks when she first happened…you know trying to be that hot Playboy chick who was never that hot…we’ve seen her pussy and weren’t impressed by it back when she was trying that whole Playboy chick…

The only reason anyone even knows who her sloppy ass is is because when she was trying to be an overhyped and underwhelming Playboy chick she managed to get in with the Vine Crowd who are all now billionaires….they needed the “hot” Playboy chick as a costar and she was ready for the clout….despite not being the “hot chick”…but vine stars were all queer anyway…so they just assumed being a Playboy chick meant hot…..and she got to go viral….

So it’s nice to see her go back to her roots, despite all the brand deals she’s had all these years, because they forgot she was even a Playboy chick or that google could show you her cunt….

But with COVID and knowing she’s been naked online in the past, she probably figures she can mooch off her core audience who were into her Playboy shit some content…give them a little taste of her past…while still being brand friendly…cuz her NUDES aren’t NUDE…but still get her paid…

It’s a scam, but all these bitches are a scam, so at least we can see their scam asses, even if they aren’t that great….

Posted in:Amanda Cerny

2021

09

Feb

Sara Sampaio Tit on Tit with Jasmine Tookes of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know why I don’t like Sara Sampaio, I mean she’s a Victoria’s Secret model so the brainwashing machine should have me thinking she’s a hot model…then there’s the whole light eyes with her dark hair that is on paper a marketing trait for a brunette to have that makes them more beautiful…maybe I am racist against the Portuguese, because I worked for shitty Portuguese first generation assholes, but that’s probably not the case, because I am into budget travel and I know that Portugal despite being seen as the asshole of Europe is also the gateway to Europe for broke asses like me looking for culture…plus I eat Portuguese roasted chicken whenever it comes up…

So maybe it has something to do with her jumping on the MeToo movement thing a few years ago where she whined about a photographer or magazine publishing her nudes that she signed the rights over to and equated that to being raped or MeTooed, all while being in a relationship with a rich guy into models, cuz that’s what rich guys do, and I guess what models do too…because if she wasn’t a VS model, she’d be working at the fishing boat with her family, married to one of the fishermen for sure…so what I am saying is she’s essentially a prostitute…..

I don’t mind her bikini content because it’s bikini content…so here that is…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jasmine Tookes|Sara Sampaio

2021

09

Feb

Lindsey Pelas Tits Out in a Sheer Dress of the Day

No Comments »

Lindsey Pelas is some big titty girl from Louisiana who has been around since instagram went viral back in 2013 and was able to take those massive tits to the fucking top of the LA sugar baby scene…that’s not to says that Pelas was fucking rich guys for money, I know nothing about her, it’s to say that her bit tits got her followers, her followers made her appealing to rich guys who like being around chicks other guys follow, because it’s got some sense of exclusivity even though it’s bullshit..but it’s the same reason rich guys fuck models that famous guys fuck…like getting some herpes ass whore’s herpes on your dick is awesome cuz they were from DiCaprio….I’m talking to you Nina Agdal and Bar Refaeli’s boyfriends…

Pelas, unlike most influencers hasn’t pretended to be much more than Glamour Model tits…she did Playboy, she’s done the men’s mags, she know the big tits were a gift to help her live her dreams and she embraced that male audience jacking off to her….she now charges them to see her tits…and is probably getting paid like a nude model with her own members site, which is not a new concept should….

The new concept in the nude model sites is that the girls doing the nude modeling were girls who pretended they were more than just bodies to jerk off to…giving into the pressures of selling panties, feet pics, etc….cuz they can cash the fuck in on it…

Anyway, it’s nice to see tits, knowing they are tits, for dudes who like tits…so here are those tits to remind you that not all “instagram” girls who have had success are trying to make you jerk off to their morning rituals, or their beauty routines, but rather still into the whole TITS GET HITS and HITS get me paid…hustle…

Videos:

Posted in:Lindsey Pelas

2021

09

Feb

Tight Pant Tuesday of the Day

No Comments »

Tight Pants may be a pretty shitty thing for fat fucks like me trying to fit into them….cutting off my circulation…all because I need to make an appearance at the Welfare office and I don’t want them seeing me in my cum stained, soiled, dirty ass smelling sweatpants….

Tight Pants may be pretty queer when you see old men jogging or biking in their leggings, a trend that I’ll never understand and never really understood, because men have been wearing bike shorts with confidence since the 80s or before, even for their lesiurely sunday rides, and the whole thing is pretty fucking queer.

That’s why I used to refer to things as GAYER THAN BICYCLE SHORTS when I was allowed…not that I am not allowed, I don’t fold like that…as long as I pay for my own damn SERVER, I’ll call something gay….I may even call it a FAG…

But Tight pants on women are everything we need out of a pant, especially now that they are made with spandex….really getting into ever nook and cranny so that a motherfucker like me can practicially see the ridges of your anus….

So naturally, girls are whores, so buying and wearing tight pants isn’t enough for them, they need to selfie the motherfuckers for you to stare at them too…why limit tight pants to just people in your line of vision, share it with the world…you tight pant wearing slut.

(more…)

Posted in:Tight Pants