DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2020

18

Nov

Courtney Stodden Naked of the Day

I didn’t know that Courtney Stodden was doing an Only Fans type of program for her fans, because I assume she’s got some fans, at least enough for her to make it worth getting naked on the internet, but with clown tits like that, what the fuck else is she to do…not to mention she’s already had a series of shitty fucking sex tapes….might as well keep up the momentum in the ETSY of porn, you know the DO IT YOURSELF of porn, cut out the middle man and seduce these men directly with your ridiculous cosmetic surgery..

I know Courtney Stodden has always been bottom tier of celebrity, the celebrity she married when underage was bottom tier celebrity, so there was really no way but down…

I do appreciate her consistency, and I do like that she’s an Original Only Fans type girl, who had to get naked on camera before people were doing it themselves….a den mother old timer…

I also appreciate that she was the last of a dying breed of tabloid fodder women, you know the girls who snuck into the paparazzi stream of content despite not being famous, but just being where the paparazzi were and acting ridiculous….

I know they don’t have huge influencer level fan bases, if anything they are pretty sad, but Courtney Stodden still matters or at least her tits do, I mean she paid to make those things happen, they are horror movie quality tits, I’m waiting for them to explode and eat my soul or something….something ain’t right about them, but they sure are fucking perky, you could throw her in front of a freight train and they’d derail the fucking thing….brick wall titties…a super power no one should ever have…this is beyond chipping a tooth level of bolt on…this is so bolted on it looks like they were prepping for a Hurricane to hit….what the fuck am I looking at…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Courtney Stodden

2020

18

Nov

Pussy Wedgie Wednesday of the Day

No Comments »

AS you may or may not know, I think pussy wedgie’s are one of life’s greatest gifts. With all the girls in tight pants, underwear, bikinis on social media, the pussy wedgie is more rampant than ever, and I want to be on the receiving end of all of that, make it a job or treat it as a hobby…if you love what you do, you don’t work a day in your life or some shit…

Maybe it’s a response to all the trannies out there raining on the parade of all these women, it’s like you’re not girl enough unless you’re not born a girl, at least not for the perverts into trannies, or the media constantly celebrating the trannies….I like to think it’s a protest, but people are all so lame and into hopping on the inclusivity activism, they are probably honored that these men are getting more hype as women than they are….backwards clown era or some shit….

It is probably just a product of creative ways to put your pussy on the internet, since tits and ass aren’t enough, but doing it in an obvious way is too obvious and not subtle enough…feeding it to your vagina, jacking it up inside you is the only way to be subtle in this era of everyone being an amazing amazing exhibitionist…

I do see a lot of Pussy Definition, which is basically Pussy Wedgies in real life too….from moms leaving spin class….to babes at the grocery stores….pussy is fucking everywhere….the new cleavage….and I’m into it…

So here’s some pussy wedgies!

(more…)

Posted in:Pussy Wedgie

2020

18

Nov

Faith Schroder Underboob of the Day

No Comments »

Faith Schroder is Ricky Schroder’s hot daughter who is putting the family name back on the map as something you shouldn’t point and laugh at. I don’t actually know if Ricky Schroder was an embarrassment, I just know he was famous in the 80s, forgotten in the 90s, 00s, 10s…but maybe his hot daughters can change that…I mean it’s probably in her best interest, because she has a lifestyle to maintain and I am sure his residuals aren’t anywhere near where they need to be to live amongst the famous….but the good news is eventually all her dreams will come true when the Kardashian dude moves in and “dates” her as the Kardashians launch her like she was Sofia Richie and now Lisa Rinna’s daughter…they run a pyramid scheme..those kardashians…..so Scott Disick is the 20 year old aspiring influencer, rich LA kid, dream…

In the meantime, here she is looking hot bodied.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Faith Schroder

2020

18

Nov

Camila Cabello Pregnant or Just Fat of the Day

No Comments »

Here’s Camila Cabello looking real fucking pregnant…or just fat…because you know her boyfriend, the Canadian Popstar Mendes only fucks her up the ass for that gay experience…shit on the dick or it doesn’t count…cuz he’s clearly a queer…and she’s clearly Elian Gonzalez who managed to avoid deportation by rebranding himself as a girl…the whole going on to become a popstar with a solo career and a girl group it’s a great diversion from being a Cuban defector…

I do find it interesting that some CUBAN born immigrant has been able to become a huge star like Rihanna, while you can’t even pay your damn rent. Loser….it’s probably because you don’t appreciate the American Dream, you’re just so used to it that you’ll live in your mediocrity….so that people like Camila Cabello can take over the country with their first hand COMMUNIST ideals…wait in line for Toilet Paper like it was march 2020 shit…they are just trying to get you used to it.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Camila Cabello

2020

18

Nov

Alexis Ren Pubic Bone of the Day

No Comments »

This is the kind of thing I meant in my last WORKOUT WEDNESDAY ….the influencer who poses provocative pics to be a cocktease, or for attention, that lands followers they can sell garbage no one needs to line their already overly lined pockets because marketing goes directly to the source now and these AVON ladies of today’s generation move fucking product hard….the fact I haven’t done an instagram brand, or that you haven’t done an instagram brand is idiotic….that shit prints fucking money, especially for the girls you need to get promoted by….

But as high brow as they make it, or as non sexual as they make it, it’s still fucking sex work, just sex work that doesn’t show off their gaping assholes, because they’ve been too spoiled…but hopefully they eventually spend all their money so they can follow their true calling, which is why they do this sleazy PG-13 shit…they are sex workers they just don’t admit it…but they will!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Alexis Ren

2020

18

Nov

Workout Wednesday of the Day

No Comments »

Workout Wednesday was originally supposed to be hot fit girls working out, you know posing with their fitness equipment, using fitness as a hook or excuse for the slutty pics, because if it’s about fitness, it’s not about being in a pair of bike shorts with your pussy sniffing your own asshole claiming it’s from the YOGA….it’s about the YOGA man.

For whatever reason, it’s turned into girls who think they have hot fit bodies from fitness, and their showing off of those bodies they think are hot and fit….

I guess like the generation of Only Fans, it’s easier to get straight to the goods rather than pussyfoot around it like those other bitches…

These girls are like “I workout, I feel hot, this is my musculature, if you want to see me fuck my husband, or this suction dildo, sign up here”…..instead of “Fitness is so important, that’s why my SKINNYTEA VIBRATING MASSAGER, comes in handy” set to a pic of her in activewear with a subtle cameltoe trying to see fucking massagers….you know the influencer way.

I’ll take the internet sex workers over the internet might as well are sex workers but pretend they are GOOP…anyday…

So that’s how Workout Wednesday become less about working out and more about pussy.

(more…)

Posted in:Workout

2020

18

Nov

Lily Collins Lace Dress of the Day

No Comments »

The highlight of Lily Collins is probably watching her dad try to get his ex wife out of one of his 40 million dollar Florida mansions, because his wife is a fucking trashbag, you’d think Phil Collins, the lord of the 80s love song would have better options when it comes to pussy. I mean his celebrity was enough for his daughter to exist or have a stab at a legit acting career, because despite being skinny and hot, I am sure without Phil Collins being her dad, she’d be working as a cam girl…a very fucking boring cam girl….because she just happens to be pretty fucking boring in the grand scheme of things….despite being skinny and hot…

As an activist for the de-fat-ification of America, you know the kind of guy who encourages girls not not eat for days at a time, who celebrates eating disorders and refuses to allow the media to convince me it is a mental issue, yes, I know Karen Carpenter died of Anorexia, but that’s the price to be skinny…

So yeah, I like Lily Collins because she’s a skinny girl, which is a dying art, as skinny girls are more into eating and getting fat now since it’s socially accepted and they’ve realized dudes will fuck anything, and being fat is actually an asset for when you try to get modelling jobs or really any job, because you can spin the FAT SHAMING angle, rather than just being shamed for being fat by your damn self as you suck the icing off your dozen donuts….you fat fuck…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Lily Collins

2020

18

Nov

Larsen Thompson Tight Shorts of the Day

No Comments »

Larsen Thompson is some ginger freaky looking girl who went viral on youtube as a teen for some choreographed bullshit…but choreographed bullshit is what gets noticed, it’s where our mental capacity of out society….look at TikTok…

Well, since her lame choreographed river dance shit, this Micheal Flatley looking bitch has gone onto be a “model”….a pretty thick looking model….but with thickness sometimes comes monster tits and with monster tits comes the winning over of dudes everywhere because we are drawn to big titties….even if they are big titties that produce lame dance videos…..because at least we know that the dance abilities can help us visualize spastic sex when staring at the big tits…otherwise they’d just be big tits that can’t dance….and dancing without the big tits is just stupid….so at least she’s got something worth looking at…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Larsen Thompson

2020

18

Nov

Weed Wednesday of the Day

No Comments »

Weed girls sometimess look far too much like girls who smoke weed all day, but thanks to smoking weed all day realize that in order to find work that involves smoking weed all day, they best be getting naked on the internet for that internet porn money. It’s more rewarding and fulfilling than making sandwiches at Subway, or whatever it is young girls used to do for work before the internet turned them all into perverts.

I assume weed will be legal in the USA as per your President Kamala Harris’ statements she made about weed, so you better get in and buy all those weed stocks…the burgeoning industry for people too dumb to grow their own…you know it’s a fucking plant that flowers and that flower is the bud in which you smoke to get fucked up…there is very little labor involved, this isn’t pressing pills in your bathroom, or cooking Ketamine you stole from the vet you worked at…..the fact anyone has gone to jail over the most basic buzz, that for the most part makes you fucking lazy and relaxed, is hilarious and ultimately really fucking shitty….cuz you know the weed they went down for was probably just shit weed to begin with.

Anyway, I’m not a Kim Kardashian prison reform activist, I’m just saying, what a dumb thing to be illegal…obviously it’s just the government controlling you and you accepting it, ass spread for their dick….I think the whole COVID thing has taught us one very important thing and that is that you all need your government to baby the fuck out of you…”Issue curfews”….rat on your friends….close down our businesses….scare us about some virus…instead of being fucking men about things and facing shit face on…

There have been deadly viruses forever, people fucking die…if you’re one who will die of COVID, then die already so the rest of the non-dyers can LIVE…

This has nothing to do with weed, it’s just to say, grow the fuck up…or don’t but if you don’t…do it like these weed girls are doing it….naked with weed because it’s a niche to build their empires…and I’m looking.

(more…)

Posted in:Weed

2020

18

Nov

Pam Anderson Booty of the Day

No Comments »

Pam Anderson is a legend….from jerking off to her in Playboy, to jerking off to her on Baywatch, to jerking off to her in her Sex Tape, to all the variations of her titties that she mangled time and time again…it’s been a fun ride….she feels like an old friend, or like a slutty mom to some of you younger folk….and she still looks amazing…

I don’t know if it has anything to do with her HEP C being cleared up, or just more cosmetic work done, but it’s nice to know if you were to find her in a dark alley after you took your testosterone shot, you’d be more than happy to bury your face in that ass…fearlessly….even though Hep C is probably the least of the Tommy Lee STDs up in there….plus Tommy is only one of the many dicks she’s had…it’s a well travelled ass that has seen its fair share of things….an experienced ass…

She’s Canada’s own 90s Icon you still want to fuck, because it’d be a bucklist item, one of the coolest thing you could possibly fuck, even if it’s about 100 years old and rotting…it clearly still knows how to take a good pic.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Pam Anderson|Pamela Anderson