DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2019

13

Aug

Dove Cameron Hard Nipple Role Model of the Day

Dove Cameron posted this shit set to some dumb as fuck feminist quote as an excuse to post this shit in a you don’t need an excuse to post this shit girl…just keep up the good work….nipples…like she was Jen Aniston on Friends back in 1993…50 fucking years ago…nipples ain’t a feminist thing but they are HOT…..

As you’d expect, these nipples inspired other nipples…just read the silly comment on one of these pics….good work girls…keep things empowered!!

Here you can see girl gotta give a full bodied shot to let you know she’s serious about this whole feminism thing….

Let’s hope the next stop her big old bush…stay tuned to find out if the carpet matches the drapes….

Point being….Ya girl BEEN slutty..
.

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Posted in:Dove Cameron|SFW

2019

13

Aug

Bella Thorne Topless Again of the Day

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Bella Thorne posted this caption to the above pic:

Come meet me at the grove tomorrow!!! 7 pm come hear me read new parts of my book

Which is exactly what you’d think she was promoting, her ability to read a best selling book she wrote, when she can barely write instagram captions, because the quality people, especially young people, seek in content they digest is pretty fucking superficial…they don’t look for quality, thought provoking, inspiring…they want fast food and clickbait put together by some molested Disney Kid who is trying to be the voice of a generation, even though I’m sure a lot of her generation don’t give a fuck about her hacking up their scene….while a lot of other ones do care cuz they want IG followers and envy her for her reach…because none of these people have any depth, they are too busy staring at themselves in mirrors…they just want to be part of things that make them look cool. They want to buy shit they can’t afford to look cool, go places others go to look cool, and it’s a whole keeping up with the Kardashians that I expect will end eventually…they can’t keep this lie going forever…

Bella Thorne gets a lot of hype cuz she gets naked enough to matter but not enough to get fired from the mainstream and with that she’s riding high, making lots of money to feed her broken girls soul, and eventually this too will crash and burn…cuz it’s boring…and we’re all ready for something less disgusting, new, fresh, that doesn’t look like it smells like piss and feces…as this looks like it smells like piss and feces..

If I had to describe Bella Thorne as a place, it would be Truck Stop Bathroom after a horrible accident that caused huge traffic on the day the Janitor called in sick.

Here she is in a short dress..

Here is her “ex girlfriend” Tana Mongeau being slutty..

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Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2019

13

Aug

Diane Kruger Naked of the Day

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Here’s Diane Kruger cheating on Joshua Jackson…what a whore…

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Posted in:Diane Kruger

2019

13

Aug

Bebe Rexha Slutty of the Day

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Bebe Rexha posted this picture with some empowering bullshit line, that’s her angle, it needs to be her angle, she’s fat and old, what other angle can she take, other than being empowered in who she is, and what better way to do that than with her fat mom aged gun hanging out of the sides of her bikini bottoms…gross…keep that saggy beer belly of an upper pussy to your damn self grandma…

ANYWAY…she posed this pic saying “Dedicated to the music exec who said she is too old to be sexy”….because I guess sexy to her is defined by putting up pics of yourself in your underwear…with an inspirational quote that the patriarchy is trying to bring girls down…girl power…to fish for girls to say “you’re so sexy”….in some weird egotistical nonsense…

She went onto tell a story about how the exec said her “brand” was confusing, because it is….and there were a lot more words I didn’t read because the fact this bitch has a platform to preach her nonsense is what is wrong with America…

She did say she is tired of women being labeled as “Hags” when they reach a certain agin I guess she’d prefer to be called “Fatty with the drying up uterus”….

Sexy is more than nudes on instagram and I have a feeling NO ONE told BEBE REXHA the storyline she’s pretending happened to make her NUDE seem less desperate.

Garbage.

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Posted in:Bebe Rexha|SFW

2019

13

Aug

Ashley Greene Bondage Erotica of the Day

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Ashley Greene is producing clickbait in efforts to matter…cuz she doesn’t matter….and barely mattered even when she did matter….

She is one of those actresses that never really hit, she was like an influencer before influencers existed, on that Olivia Culpo hustle, they even fucked the same JONAS BROTHERS….

She got some hype from being in a viral video, which in her case was TWILIGHT SAGA, that she amplified by fucking a Jonas brother, whilst pretending to be abstinent, even though anyone with eyes saw through that purity ring bullshit, knowing that any Florida Trash like Ashley Greene sucked a lot of dick to get where she got….and had been fucking since she was 14 years old on the family trailer park lot….with her family…

It was a different era, when spreading your asshole on the internet wasn’t accepted behavior, and when fucking as a teen was something the media pretended didn’t happen, before social media blew that theory up with all the free porn, making everyone a fucking pervert…

Well, she’s out there with her tits out, and her mangled face on, and it’s not as exciting as it should be..

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Posted in:Ashley Greene|SFW

2019

13

Aug

Ava Capra Nipples of the Day

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Ava Capra is apparently from Top Model…and apparently into wearing the silliest outfits to make a statement and get noticed….by the people at comicon…who will hire her to work a booth or to walk around handing out stickers to virgin nerds cuz they’ll find it all so hot, too hot to handle…cuz they are virgin comicbook nerds and all vagina in costume excites them and makes them want to test out moves they learn in porno on them….and she’ll just be happy to get work as a model after all these years of being non-existent, even after being on a show about being a model…which you’d assume meant she was a model…who got some coverage for being a model…while rich kids with no business being models are taking her work…

Either way…nice outfit.

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Posted in:Ava Capra

2019

13

Aug

Bianca Andreescu Has Killed Serena Williams of the Day

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Bianca Andreescu is the GYPSY HUNGARIAN who picked up a Tennis Racket when her family was going from carnival to carnival in their Caravan as her dad was an athlete in and of his own right, where he excelled at juggling on a Bear’s shoulders as the bear balanced on a ball…

She is now a CANADIAN TENNIS PRODIGY who made Serena Williams, the monster cry, and even was recorded calling Serena Williams a beast, while reminding us all that Eastern European women are powerful, just look at these fucking tree trunk legs, capable of destroying an old, fat black lady, at the sport the old fat black lady got rich from…

I am into tennis pussy, I find it hot, but like all athletics, I don’t really love the girls who excel at any sport for being hot….usually being hot and being good at a sport are mutually exclusive…like the hot ones in the sport are usually ranked in the top 100 in the world, the top 2-3 are basically like dudes…

But I see what women look like, their thickness celebrated, so clearly some people would want these thighs to crush their head like a watermelon, while others like Serena Williams and myself will just like to watch her Crush Watermelons…it’s a fetish you know.

Bianca Andreescu Has Killed Serena Williams

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Posted in:Bianca Andreescu|SFW

2019

13

Aug

Heidi Klum Erotica of the Day

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Heidi Klum Eugenics Update..

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Posted in:Heidi Klum|SFW

2019

13

Aug

January Jones Thotty Behaviour of the Day

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Ok January Jones with the ass shot for Instagram being all thotty..

I unfortunately followed her a while ago, not because I bought into the hype around her, or cared about her, or thought she was hot. I have never seen her in a movie or TV show, she barely exists to me, but for some reason I’ve been exposed to her updates, often times promoting her tits, and it’s been pretty fucking lame…

Maybe it is because as a drunkenstepfather I’ve created some innate or deep rooted ability to spot out the single moms, because the ONLY thing I know about January Jones is that she got knocked up by a rich guy she shouldn’t have got knocked up by, and they had an agreement, at least financial that she’d never expose him, so long as he pays her child support…so no one will ever know who thee dad is, maybe not even the kid, which I guess is expected by kids who have moms who dress like this in public….it reminds me of growing up with this white trash family that lived above the corner store, I didn’t know it at the time but found out later, that the mom was a single mom because she was a legit sex worker, from stripper to whore and when I’d go over to their house she’d be walking around in lingerie after getting fucked for money….I’d even see the johns and thought the whole thing was weird but at 10 had no idea what was really going on…but I am sure her kids knew….cuz if I’m here thinking she’s a whore….like January Jones in this outfit….the kid definitely knows…

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Posted in:January Jones|SFW

2019

13

Aug

Scarlett Johansson Old Legs of the Day

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At first I thought this photo of Scarlett Johansson was an ad for Deep Vein Thrombosis awareness….DON’T FUCKING SIT ON A PLANE TOO LONG GET UP AND STRETCH IT IS A REAL FUCKING ISSUE….

I had no idea that SCARJO had a stupid fucking full back tattoo like some trailer trash in Florida who has decided to Full-Time in her RV now that work at the strip club has dried up. Only the trash in Florida is more tolerable…..yes it’s that bad.

I bought into the SCARJO is hot narrative the media shoved down our throats back in 2005 when she was getting started, but I was quick to realize they were lying to us, we were being told a storyline that was just FAKE NEWS….you know to sell movies, to get bigger budgets…it’s an industry that relies on brain washing idiots.

So 15 years later, her ass in a bating suit on the beach, is about as garbage as I’d expect, you know as a celebrity who is still working, you’d think her days would be spent trying to deal with those thighs, but instead…she’s just like “I’m SCARJO – I CAN DO NO WRONG – THEY ALL LOVE ME”…and that level comfort led to complacency and complacency led to cottage cheese ass….I realize she’s 40 but that’s no fucking excuse…do better, work harder, you slacker getting ready for your LIVE ACTION MUPPET role as Miss Piggy.

I guess the surprising thing in this is that her Boyfriend isn’t black. Black dude love this kind of thick blonde pussy.