DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2019

08

Aug

Romee Strijd Bikini of the Day

Romee Strijd brings the age old question that Humanity has been asking itself for the last few decades and that is – if a Victoria’s Secret model you’ve only seen half naked….puts on a bikini and does a clickbait ass shot for her social media that I assume she is contractually obliged to do….does she make a sound…and I guess who cares whether she makes a sound we like all clickbait bullshit that involves a bitch getting half naked…Victoria’s Secret model or girl who works at the coffee shop you go to…it matters…so girls out there spending 10 minutes a day taking as many slutty pics as you can to get that perfect shot so that you can scam money out of rich people…you’re hard work doesn’t go unnoticed. Keep it up and you too may one day be paid like Romee is paid to do the same slutty shit you work so hard at you know cuz 10 minutes of effort is a lot for someone from your generation who refuses to actually work….and we understand and appreciate that…you lazy fucks.

Here she is in tight leggings

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Romee Strijd|SFW

2019

08

Aug

Salma Hayek Floatation Devices of the Day

No Comments »

Salma Hayek with her big rich tits…

Married to a billionaire, cuz she thinks she’s better than dating millionaires, since she’s got millions of her own from being the big titty Mexican actress in Hollywood that was criticized for not having ethnic people, OSCARS TOO WHITE…or whatever…..despite her being legit from the Corn Tortilla factory before making it to the big screen….a better life than running Tijuana Donkey shows, at least for her, not us, cuz we’d like to see her fucked by a Donkey and the fact she never will, because she won at life is sad….

We can watch her titties do some lifesaving work…keeping her safe and afloat…which I guess is better than nothing…barely better than nothing…cuz she’s old.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

2019

08

Aug

Shailene Woodley Saving the Oceans of the Day

No Comments »

Shailene Woodley is in the ocean with Green Peace picking up plastic.

I just hate her fucking face…..

I don’t even mind that she’s some hippie activist who is out there trying to save the oceans, or protest pipelines, as much as I hate the world, it’s really humanity that I hate, the world in and of itself is awesome, and disgusting humans are trashing it, so we need people like this to help save it..

But that face man….

I’ve watched her in the Big Little Lies show, I think it’s a Spinoff of Pretty Little Liars, you know when they grow up and kill their husbands….

I’ve watched her shipwrecked and sailing the world with her tits out in that other movie…

I even saw the movie she had cancer in…

That face just bothers me….

At least she’s in a bikini to offset that – I guess.

Save the fucking ocean, stop single use plastic, save the dolphins, do your part..or just look at her tits.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:SFW|Shailene Woodley

2019

08

Aug

Charlotte Lawrence Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Charlotte Lawrence is another celebrity child, taking on the family business. Her dad a TV producer and her Mom Kate from Drew Carey show, which clearly had a lot of help in getting her to where she needs to be in terms of credits for IMDB thanks to the agents she grew up with…and her instagram whoring where she’s accumulating fans with her slutty pics…

I think this is the generation with the most celeb kids working in the industry…I mean back in the day there were Actor or celeb kids like Kate Hudson, or John Ritter, or Melanie Griffith, or Kurt Russel, or Jeff and Beau Bridges….or the Fondas…I mean I guess there was always a love for celeb kids and they’d get work from that nepotism, but there was a lot of new / fresh talent that would work its way into the industry….now, all that is out the window, why find new talent when we can ride off the celebrity of the parents to build their offspring into the next generation. It’s like 98 percent of talent is from Cali, born into industry family, and that’s prtty fucking lame….

So Charlotte Lawrence, who is not Jennifer Lawrence’s lesbian wife who took on her last name…but she’s equally hooked up and luckily, thanks to it being trendy, she’s got her slutty pics for social media down proper…and here they are…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:charlotte lawrence|SFW

2019

08

Aug

Margaret Qualley Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Born to the actress Andie MacDowell, she trained as a ballerina and briefly pursued modeling. She gained recognition for playing a troubled daughter in the HBO mystery series The Leftovers and now she’s Quentin Tarantino’s comedy-drama Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

I wikipedia-ed her. I feel like a college kid working on my Thesis..you know cuz wikipedia is all you need to get buy as a bullshit no-it-all fuck….the amount of people that annoy me with their low level or top level knowledge about bullshit things that they try to school me in is high…and the only rebuttal needed is “i can wikipedia too, if you don’t believe me, read my Margaret Qualley post”…

Posted in:Margaret Qualley|SFW

2019

08

Aug

Rat Cow’s Photoshopped Armpit Hair for Attention of the Day

No Comments »

Mooch Bitch.

Do whatever you can to pretend you’re not a titty model, and that you’re on this bullshit quest to resolve gender issues, despite being a narcissistic cunt wit a self importance and ego, who only really cares about elevating herself.

I doubt her armpit hair is even real, but if it is, it’s not some bold move to post this shit up and write some nonsense dialogue about feminism when she’s a high school graduate full retard who gets naked on the internet for money…

It’s like “I don’t know what to do next, oh right, I should grow out my armpit hair and be a radical feminist!! Or at least have people think I am because it makes my nude pics feel more like a mission or a quest for women’s rights, than shameless titty pics for dudes to jerk off to, cuz there’s no sustainability in that, and I need to grow my female audience to get more money with my tits, and it’s all about thee money”…

She doesn’t have a political agenda, she has a RAT cow agenda…and this is some REAL fucking bullshit, but people are lazy and buy into bullshit without much thought, cuz they are too busy looking at themselves and taking selfies to bother with someone as irrelevant as Rat Cow…instagram has created real fucking garbage…

Put on a bra, show the armpits, pretend to be a feminist who sucks dick for jobs…

Here are recent photos of her that she posted to her own channel, with absolutely zero armpit hair..because it’s ok for her to have a armpit bush to “write” an article for some magazine, but having armpit hair is not convenient when selling her bikini line.. what a wave-jacking flip-flopping slut.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowksi

2019

08

Aug

Cindy Crawford Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Cindy Crawford is clearly in Canada. I am from Canada so I have this ability to spot “home” when I seee it.

I also know that Cindy Crawford, along with Lisa Rinna have what the Canadians call “Cottages” in what the Canadians call “Cottage Country”….in Northern Ontario, not North Enough to house the murders they just found dead, but North Enough to be out of the hustle and bustle of the big Canadian cities that I assume have a population over 50,000 people..

Point being, these non-Canadians have moved in and bought up real estate in places most Canadians can’ afford to have cottages but likely wish they had cottages, jacking up the price of those Cottages and increasing the profile of those cottages, like Celebs did to Snowmass and other areas they decided to collectively Vacation…ruining the community cuz Celebs are scumbags and ruin everything..in the worst kind of gentrification but because they are celebs everyone gets excited and sucks their dick….even though they are destroying our natural resources….fuck them…we call them IGLOO Bandits…stealing our Maple Syrup….

Now…where’s her 18 year old daughter in the bikini, far more interesting than a 300 year old rich as fuck model I’d rather see in 20 year old pictures…wee don’t need none of this…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Cindy Crawford|SFW

2019

08

Aug

Gwyneth Paltrow Bikini with Dakota Johnson of the Day

No Comments »

Gwyneth Paltrow is out on the beach with her ex Chris Martin and his new girlfriend Dakota Johnson. I wonder if Datkota Johnson was the girl who got second degree burns on her pussy from doing the GOOP vagina steam…..because she isn’t in her bikini and I figure burn victims don’t let getting their burn wounds wet…

Seeing families like this is creepy. You know the weird mom with her wellness blog that comes from a coddled, delusional, spoiled, rich person with too much time on her hands…and her queer Coldplay singer husband…and his new bitch – Melanie Griffith’s daughter all together and happy cuz I guess they are all rich together and by default laugh together at all the peasants they manipulate….exes are supposed to want to kill each other, this hanging out shit, is just annoying and a reminder of how fake all this trash is….

That said, here is Dakota Johnson and Chris Martin right after their attempted murder on a black family! It is a recent story I just heard about where no black people were killed by the White Supremicists who only targeted a black family to have an accident with, instead of a white one, in that critical time of “who do we run into”….”aim for the darkies”….kind of thing…but I doubt the internet hasn’t gone after them for that…instead they suck their dicks like Chris Martin sucks dick…cuz that is the world we live in, everyone praised for being great when clearly they are all scamming garbage…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Dakota Johnson|Gwenyth Paltrow|SFW

2019

08

Aug

Top 10 Slutty Athletes of the Day

No Comments »

The nice thing about girl athletes is all the testosterone they have from working out, training, and muscle mass that makes for a tight body, not a sloppy body….

I know what you’re thinking, how can testosterone be a good thing, that’s queer…

Or “that’s what those bull dykes take when they want to grow their dicks out of their clits to be as tough as their combat/construction boots make them feel”….

High testosterone from fitness, comes with a fit body, a tight body, and a sex drive…these girls are just always horny and ready to fuck, and often times learn how to fuck at a young age by their creepy coaches who chose a life of training kids….then there is the whole touring and staying in hotels where they get to be naughty with other people they compete with…it becomes like some sort of fit sex club.

So being an athlete, disciplined from training, a personality trait that carries into your ability to ride a cock with ease and without getting out of breath, because your hormones want it, and your body can handle the workout, while your estrogen is too low to get pregnant….makes for a good time…

And apparently, not all female athletes look like Serena Williams or dudes disguised as women to dominate in their sport…

So here’s a solid top 10 hottest athletes right about now…according to me and about 2 minutes of research…

Pervert fucks.

Alica Schmidt – Track & Field

Top 10 Slutty Athletes Alica Schmidt Track and Field

Alisa Diomin – Golf

Belen Mozo – Golf

Georgia Ellenwood – Track and Field

Jacinta Beecher – Track and Field

Jamie Robbins – Volleyball

Jessica Nelson – Soccer

Karin Strametz – Track and Field

Rossella Fiamingo – Fencing

Sara Gailli – Swimming

Stephanie Rice – Swimming

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Featured Post|SFW|Top 10

2019

08

Aug

Mariana Mendes Magalhaes Empowered Birthmark Model of the Day

No Comments »

Mariana Mendes Magalhaes is some Brazian who apparently isn’t trans, but who has a big air patch on her fucking face, in what they are calling a “Birthmark” but is more like a curse or a sign of the devil on a child, in what would have been taken out back and killed as a baby had she been born a couple hundred years ago…

She isn’t hot to begin with, so I guess it’s good that she’s got that hairy patch, because it allows her model dreams to come true…

She’s the empowered hairy face girl…and the world must embrace her for her bravery in owning it, and they must give her a fucking career as a model she wants to be, even if it seems like it is pandering.

I don’t know about you, but I remember being in school with handicapped kids and I’d always let them win if we were competing against each other, or I’d help them if they were struggling, you know to feel better about terrorizing them the rest of the time…..I was a bully….and I just feel like giving a girl a career as a model cuz of a face deformity…is like some make a wish foundation in a “sure kid with cancer, you’re a fucking astronaut” or whatever….it’s almost cruel…and it’s totally fucking weird…but still something you’d probably want to cum on like it was her pubic hair because it may be her pubic hair…and I guess it’s still better than when a bitch has a moustache…even if it still makes my stomach curdle and gag.

Posted in:Mariana Mendes Magalhaes|SFW