DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2019

16

Apr

Bella Thorne Nipple Slip of the Day

I find Bella Thorne so ugly…

I mean sure, she’s got a solid set of big tits…but that’s not all that impressive. There’s a 5 percent chance her tits are real, and 95 percent chance they are bolt ons, that even the most gutter hooker can afford to get, so that when they are on some Disney Kid who makes more it’s not like she even had to work for them.

I didn’t mind her hustle in the beginning of her hustle, you know a young Disney kid being a slut, breaking down in front of everyone to see, sexualizing herself the way all women do at some point in her life…but like anything it got old, boring repetitive fast and with that came “we’ve seen it and don’t care”….

The weirdeness wasn’t weird enough, wasn’t interesting, and even when she dated her crackhead boyfriend, they weren’t some cool young couple you wanted anything to do with, the just looked like they stank…

The good news is that she apparently DUMPED the leech mooch fuck at COACHELLA as nothing in life is forever, especially when you’re some unstable Disney kid with no dad, whored out by your mom, and molested along the way….

The other good news is that she’s still into showing her tits, cuz even when someone is a piece of shit, I am totally find with staring at their tits…real or not…it’s all the same for me and my pervert ways…

The only thing I want to see released by her in her mentally unstable ways is a sex tape, a greasy, slimy, looks like is smells sex tape..cuz the one thing I like more than tits, is pussy….and seeing a pussy performing always upgrades a bitch to a higher level…so that I hold her in higher esteem cuz she deserves it for giving us her best…

But when it’s just tits we’ve seen, it’s like step it up and stomp the yard you fool…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Bella Thorne

2019

16

Apr

Ariel Winter Skinny Tits of the Day

No Comments »

Ariel Winter, who I guess is on the KETO DIET because she’s dropped 60 pounds in the last two months pretty, something only the KETO Diet can do to a fat fuck….but she’s still got her freakishly large tits….who I like to call “SURVIVORS” because she’s had the cut off at least once…rebuilt at least once…and even with weightloss which is supposed to shrink the fuckers they are still huge…it’s like this girl is cursed with monster tits, no matter what she does and I guess that isn’t the best curse to have.

I do find it weird seeing that she’s got a neck or a chin….and despite being pretty troll like…she, like EVERYONE else looks a fucking lot better when not fat…

I will not say she’s hot, but let’s encourage her to keep starving herself out, she’s found something that works for her and as a celebrity…on TV..she has a responsibility to not be a fat fuck….save the obesity for the people like us who sit on our asses all day staring at the people actually doing shit….that’s how the SYSTEM is supposed to work.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Ariel Winter|SFW

2019

16

Apr

Olivia Culpo Tits Out for Fashion of the Day

No Comments »

Olivia Culpo out here for Esquire Mexico – because she is the most important girl on Instagram.

I have no ideal how that happened, she looks a little plastic to me, but then again, isn’t everyone who has made a career for themselves on Instagram…

She was some Miss Rhode Island, or wherever she is from, maybe she climbed the ranks of the Pageant World, I don’t pay attention enough to care…and I didn’t really think anyone paid attention enough to care about pageants, but she has been working the scene since….2012….where she dated a Jonas Brother, got some hype, has since dated athletes cuz she’s all American and has got more hype and is now in EVERY instagram brand deal ever…

Here’s how I think shit went down, cuz I am smart…and will break it down for you…

She was Miss USA in 2012. She won TRUMP’s Miss Universe is 2012. TRUMP Sold Miss Universe to William Morris Endeavour in 2015….WME is the biggest TALENT agency in the world, they also own the UFC…they are run by your friend Ari Emmanuelle who was the basis of the agent in Entourage…and a dude name Patrick who was the husband of the woman who Jeff Bazos cheated on his wife with…

Still with me?

Ok…so William Morris represents the Jonas Brothers – meaning they placed Olivia Culpo as the Jonas Brother’s girlfriend to get her some hype, but to also get Miss Universe some HYPE…the more people talk about Miss Unvierse as if it is a thing, the more it is worth to their HUGE organization.

Being TALENT AGENTS means they are in on every brand deal that happens, every event that happens…They literally rep everyone…so throw CULPO in the mix as their INFLUENCER…and boom, she matters.

She was created by the corporations that control the media…the TALENT AGENCY..

And now OLIVIA CULPO makes sense to me….

Here she is at Coachella

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Olivia Culpo|SFW

2019

16

Apr

Lindsay Lohan Tits Out of the Day

No Comments »

Here’s some Lindsay Lohan for old times, doing some modeling, with some of her tit out, but not enough of her tit…

She’s looking like an old lady, or an old glove found in a snowbank during the spring thaw after a winter of being shit on my dogs…

Maybe it is cuz she is old, has lived a life more fucking disturbing and damaging than most people…at 35 or however old she is, she’s had more fucking abuse to herself, and her face than most 80 year olds…even those who live in Australia and get battered by the UV rays because of the hole in the OZONE caused by the GREENHOUSE gases we used to be scared of in the 80s…

I will not turn my back on LOHAN though, I truly believe she has a long life ahead of her doing whatever it is that she does….and that there will be an HONORARY oscar handed out to her…because she fucking deserves it…

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a LOHAN movie, which is funny because I’ve done so much on this site targeted at her….and her great tits…

I do think I’ve seen LOHAN in a hotel SUITE In montreal dancing around in her pajamas to her album she never launched and it was probably the PEAK of my career as an unemployed obese blogger….

I am a fan, forever will be, and her great tits, a little saggier, a little sadder, just need a new coat of paint, a tune up, and she’ll be back…she’s gotta be…she’s Lindsay Fucking Lohan…(I feel like that is what she calls herself)…..

Here are the really uneventful, not so ARAB despite her being ARAB now…..tits.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2019

16

Apr

Bebe Rexha Tits of the Day

No Comments »

In shut the fuck up news, apparently, Bebe Rexha has announced, like Demi Lovato, that she has Bi-Polar Disorder…and that she is proud, empowered, etc in who she is and in the treatment she is getting or whatever….

She wrote some barely poetic, despite being a song writer, which should man she is poetic, even if her songs are pure fucking vapid garbage….about not knowing why she had low lows where she didn’t want to get up or leave the house aka – MY EVERY DAY HAPPY PLACE….and why she had HIGH HIGHS where she couldn’t sleep….aka – MY FEW TIMES A WEEK PARTY PARTY DRUNK FEST…..but now she knows….

I am not a believer in Mental Health, I really believe it’s a mind over matter situation, we are all fucked up, anxiety ridden depressive pieces of shit…deal with it….with illegal drugs, pharma, or CBD, I don’t fucking care…but don’t fucking diagnose a disease and inspire others to pretend they have it…

Unless you’re fully fucking mental, killing people, hurting yourself without realizing it, cuz there are full mentals out there…keep your bi polar to yourself..

Like how bi polar could this bitch really be, she’s a popstar now, she’s been working in the industry for 10 years, she’s old maybe, has an eating disorder that makes her eat too much sure..but she ain’t crazy.

What’s crazy is that people are into her and that she is famous…

The only thing crazy about Bebe Rexha is that people listen to her shitty music.

That’s the fucking mental disorder I don’t get….

Here’s her fat ass…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Bebe Rexha|SFW

2019

16

Apr

Wanda Orme Almost Interesting Self Portraits of the Day

No Comments »

Wanda Orme is some self proclaimed artist, rich kid, from the UK who moved to LA to go to school and to develop her art with more of an intellectual approach..

You know, if you take your slutty photos without a Master’s Degree in Sociology, can you even consider what you do a contribution to the world…of course you can’t…it’s just shameless…

But when you can apply bullshit collegiate theories to your half nudes, about the plight of man and gender and all that other shit we don’t care about cuz we just want to see the tits….it becomes pretty fucking pretentious….

It’s like she took the long and convoluted road to taking shameless pics of herself….because sometimes it takes a bitch some time to get her feet wet or to convince herself that what she is doing is more important than it actually is.

I almost ALMOST…i repeat ALMOST like these pics, but there’s something missing…I am not buying her angle….her cropped out face, look at her body….nonsense….

But maybe I just can’t accept someone calling themselves an artist. I like to think that is something that OTHER people call you…and not just vapid idiots who want to seem important, in a childish bullshit way….like “Oh I’m an artist, you’re an artist, I’m a model, you’re a writer, I’m a film maker, you’re a musician”…when you’re all jsut a bunch of rich kids in a loft acting important…The “I’m a Filmmaker” line fucking kills me…especially now when everything is digital and all you do is edit on some software clips you shot on your iphone….clown.

I like when society as a whole embraces what you do…and not because you tell them what you do….over and over and over….Don’t tell me what you are, I’ll tell you what you are…cuz that’s how REAL society works.

Posted in:Wanda Orme

2019

16

Apr

Shanina Shaik See Through of the Day

No Comments »

I never remember who Shanina Shaik is. She’s just that important and relevant…

I sometimes assume she is Irina Shayk’s poo colored sister. You know the one that her dad made with some Pakistani cleaning lady who ended up in Moscow…but I have a feeling she may just be a totally different Shaik, just doing the same thing as the other Shaik, half naked modeling….

When I fist saw the pics, I thought it was Zoe Kravitz or Black Chyna, or someone else who wouldn’t be considered a racist for her dread locks, but I guess since Shanina Shaik has fucked black dudes like Tyson Beckford, she has the right….

I figure if you sacrifice your cunt for the black cock, you are an honorary African Queen…

Point being, this is her silly Coachella Outfit for you to jack off to…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:SFW|Shanina Shaik

2019

16

Apr

Myrtille Revemont Covered in Colorful Shit While Naked of the Day

No Comments »

So as it turns out….Myrtille Revemont is an “actual” model, whatever that means in this era of everyone being a model – thanks to the internet making people think they are beautiful and amazing and worthy of being on film….when back in the day women were scared of cameras and hated how they look, now they are all loving it, embracing it, and even if they look like shit, off-setting it by getting face injections….

POINT BEING….

Myrtille Revemont the “actual Model”…is fully naked in this photoshoot, that I had to post, not because I find it hot, but because I find it fucking stupid…

The level of creativity, or the lack of creativity when it comes to nude shoots annoys me.

It’s like “let’s paint you, like some ghetto trash from 12 years ago at some tattoo convention, but instead of doing it like a leopard or kitty or other Cosplay shit, will just do abstract”…..

It’s the dumbest way to get a girl naked, the dumbest way to look at a girl naked, and if anything it’s fucking LAZY creative direction.

Step it up Myrtille Revemont. Whoever the fuck you are.

Posted in:Myrtille Revemont

2019

16

Apr

Lina Lavreniuk is the Hot Instagram Model of the Day

No Comments »

Her name is Lina Lavreniuk…

I don’t know if she’s an actual instagram model or not. I didn’t bother googling her…

It takes too much effort for me to try to figure out the life of a hot young thing who is half naked in a photoshoot…when I can’t even figure out my own life…

It is one of those I am so unemployed, and I have just so much free time on my hands, that I can’t be bothered doing something as basic as Googling a bitch….because if you’ve ever been a lazy fuck with no job….sometimes it takes you 3 or 4 days to shower, wipe your ass, etc…

The less you do the more difficult it is to get anything done….

But I will say…Lina Lavreniuk sounds Russian enough to me to like her….her ass is big enough on her skinny frame…her waist small enough on her skinny frame to make her ass look even bigger….and I like it….and I guess that’s what it is about….staring at naked chicks cuz I like it…and like to remember a time when I got to see naked chicks in person who weren’t sex workers….which is not to say that this Lina Lavreniuk is not a sex worker, I’ve learned that all women are…but without googling her, I can write any story I want to these pics…

Major disappointment is the INSTAGRAM friendly, white scribble of the genitals….

If we can’t see a labia that is exposed…what’s the point of exposing the labia…

Like Jerry McGuire once Said…..SHOW ME THE PINK….SHOW ME THE PINK…..SHOW ME THE PINK…