DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2024

22

Jan

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Old Lady Thong Bikini of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio is at the Diaper Age, where you’d expect her to be rocking the adult diapers when she goes out on the town, like the fat lady in the adult diaper commercial, who you wonder why she doesn’t just stay home because the idea that she leaves the house for a night on the town pissing herself and her diaper is pretty fucking disturbing, you have a medical condition menopause, how about you save the comedy show for people who aren’t sitting in their own piss like a toddler……

Instead of the diaper, the Victoria’s Secret model who would never quit Victoria’s Secret and who forced Victoria’s Secret into doing an elaborate rebrand that didn’t include their ANGELS or hot models, in efforts to get rid of this 40 year old without her realizing it, because they couldn’t handle the sadness, depression and self-hatred that would have come if they ended the 25 year partnership between her tits and their cheap made in china products…is wearing a thong bikini.

She’s managed to secure the thong bikini into her senior years, far too old for this little coverage, but she’s committed to the lie that old ladies can wear thongs and who are we to crush her thong bikini wearing dreams….

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2024

22

Jan

Kim Kardashian Assumes the Shit Position of the Day

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I know what you’re thinking and that is that Kim Kardashian doesn’t shit. Not because she’s a demonic robot sent from hell to destroy the human experience each old lady nude at a time…..or because she’s some unicorn who we can’t fathom shits like it was the 80s when dude legitimately didn’t think women besides their mom took shits…it was too unlady like a concept to wrap your head around especially when licking their assholes…because if anyone takes huge shit’s it’s Kim Kardashian…..the hairy little billionaire troll with the big stupid ass….clearly so full of shit that it just re-absorbs into her body and gives her that shit colored glow she’s got….

So we’ll just assume that Kim K in the shitting position is her trying another angle at being a fake fuck, since it works for her, she’s an influential billionaire all while being not so interesting….just consistently naked and not even hot in her consistent naked clickbait….making her whole success some kind of witchcraft since it makes no actual logical sense….

She’s a little fucking old for this…

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2024

22

Jan

Katy Perry’s Disgusting Wizard Shit for the Nerds of the Day

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Katy Perry is like watching a girl fucking one of those alien dildos because they are either into Sci/Fi fantasy or lesbians scared of actual dick shaped objects and feel some dragon looking dick makes more sense for their weird fucking aesthetic.

I don’t like sci-fi/fantasy and have been weirded out by the cosplay, comicon, nerd group at the college level for as long as I can remember. If a movie has fairies or dragons or even Tinkerbell in it, I’m going to write it off as trash designed for the autistics who can’t get pussy, you Star Trek fanboy freaks…

Katy Perry, in being one of the lamest popstars to ever accidentally happen, continues to push really dumb ideas, this time with her pointed elf ears and antennae….either playing some sort of alien, or some sort of bug hybrid, which makes the most sense, because she’s a fucking cockroach of a celebrity….just never dying, always thriving, even after a nuclear holocaust, because she sold her soul so fucking hard she’s forever….unfortunately.

She’s still got tits, 40 year old mom tits….with her husband Orlando Bloom, who is clearly just a loser actor who doesn’t realize that he could do far better than Katy Perry in terms of hotness…there’s a whole world of pussy out there you Aussie fuck.

I don’t know if this is a “I’m old and played out, my face weathered, so I’ll do some weird mask to divert from that”….or if it’s actually her being a lame nerd catering to lame nerds….I just know I hate it.

Posted in:Katy Perry

2024

22

Jan

Bella Thorne’s Bottom of the Titty Barrel of the Day

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Bella Thorne is the single most important celebrity in world of the internet….because no only was she sold to Disney after escaping an abusive stepfather in Florida, you know an origin story worthy of an after school special, not that they still make after school specials, but rather softcore smut that competes with porno….which is convenient for this sold to the industry at a young age, only to create her own hype doing social media influencer marketing tactics with her tits, before realizing her and her family could make a ton of money running the porn channels for a bunch of washed up Disney talent or mainstream talent looking to get paid and now we’re looking at the big bottom tit in a stripper dress to help push the culture of no culture forward….

Posted in:Bella Thorne

2024

22

Jan

Noah Cyrus Brings the Ratio of the Day

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Noah Cyrus is a fashion icon, or at least trying to be a fashion icon, by attending fashion events she has access to in being a cyrus, and wearing weirdly racy clothing that she can position as being fashion, rather than shameless clickbait for attention because she has a hole in her heart the size of being Miley’s sister, never able to live up to Miley….

You see, the people who have that access and the celebrity co-sign, who were born to the Achy Breaky trust fund and were around Miley through all her celebrity, which happened to be EXTREME celebrity…don’t realize how spoiled they are because it’s all they know.

They just know that they aren’t Miley, they are second or third string to the family’s starting line-up and that hurts them in ways that leads to them showing their ass and tits on the internet…FOR FASHION…this is fashions…

The chubby Miley sister has a weird body that goes with her very weird, almost alien creature in a horror movie face, but that body has aggressive birthing hips, maybe due to being fat, or maybe because she’s a lady and ladies are supposed to have waist to hip ratios to let dudes know they are women ready to bread.

There’s a science to it, not that you can trust the science, when the science lies, but my boner is a good litmus test to the golden ratio and it says if Noah was built like a dude, these pics would be way worse….

Now her ass is out of her pants, for stayle, or because she’ got a fat ass or big hips that can’t fit pants over the ass, and that’s fun if you’re into ass crack cleavage…you know ever since you had that plumber under your sink, you’ve never been able to get over it…..now better cuz this plumber’s not a 300 pound dude, but it could be a 300 pound girl who knows her angles….we’ll never know cuz she’s the irrelevant Cyrus no one actually cares about..

=

Posted in:noah cyrus

2024

22

Jan

Kanye’s Bianca Censori Has Fun Tits of the Day

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I don’t know how recent this video of Bianca Censori, who is apparently Kanye’s employee turned wife, because if you run your business properly, you get to fuck the payroll, especially when you hire them based on their fuckability rating. No uglies allowed.

There’s a misconception or at least some fake news circulating or trying to deter the business man from fucking his staff, calling it an abuse of power or sexual assault or manipulative. But since the dawn of women entering the workforce, either because they had to because they were left broke and man-less, or because they wanted to, because they were sold some feminist lie, the man in the power position was always the coveted cock used to make their lives better.

So idea of a man hiring a hottie he wants to fuck and fucking the hottie he hired because she owed it to him for hiring her, or a hottie that is hired fucking the boss to either get more out of the job or out of the relationship, since it’s in her face…is perfectly normal.

I don’t know if Kanye is perfectly normal, but I do know that his wife walking around with her slop WOP tits should be considered normal, because when I go to stores, even lame designer boutiques like this, I want to sell SLOP WOP tits….the way PASTA intended.

Posted in:kanye west

2024

22

Jan

Madison Poveromo is the Instagram Of The Day

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Everyone hates my social media influencer posts….

Which is shocking because all these social media influencers get paid all the big money from the brands or their subscribers….

Meaning they’ve clearly gamed their audience into giving a fuck about them…..because the general public, YOU, fucking hate them…

You’re mean.

Can’t we all get along and appreciate the hard SELF INVOLVED work it takes to be an instagram girl….

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe

2024

22

Jan

Darina Litvinova is the Instagram Of The Day

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The only thing I can think of as a reason why people hate influencers so much is jealousy. If you were able to post sexy half naked pics of yourself for millions of people, luring half of them into paying you 5 dollars a month to sext with the Filipino virtual assistant who does the sexting for you….you’d fucking do it….

If you were able to post sexy half naked pics of yourself for brands to throw millions of dollars, or even to gift you free luxury vacations you could never afford had you not found the whole posting sexy half naked pics of yourself works for 1000s of people trying to get paid or free trips…..you’d fucking do it…

So all this rage over random half naked instagram bitches comes from your angry, bitter, working a regular job soul….when really you should just stare at the tits and let them influence you as they game the system and you don’t….

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe

2024

20

Jan

Taylor is the Instagram Of The Day

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Hollywood celebrity is dead.

The story of the small town hot chicks running away from their seemingly arranged marriage to their high school sweetheart by hopping on a bus to achieve bigger dreams, only to end up turning tricks in some budget motel to survive when arriving to Hollywood, but occasionally breaking through and getting a Soap Opera job, or an Extra job, or if they are lucky a meeting with a Weinstein-like producer that allows her to level up and get closer to those dreams….is no longer relevant.

Social media runs the world.

The eyeballs are on the influencer, the creator, the model and the self starter who produces and uploads that content, seducing and engaging their audience, captivating us with their hot pics…brands throw money at them, perverts throw money at them, and even Hollywood recruits them when they are relevant enough.

That means showcasing these people most of us have never heard of and digging through the 100s of 1000s of hot chicks and even average at best chicks, producing their hottest pics, through professional shoots, AI, Filters and Fillers all in efforts to get seen, noticed and to live their dream life of vapidness….is the future of the site but more importantly the now of the site….

So here’s Taylor

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe

2024

19

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

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Everyone is a sell out fraud…

Remember all the cool kids are the try hard losers…who commit to being cool leaders to other losers…

Remember, the real cool kids are those who don’t try at all….The homeless men who have detached from the matrix and yell at women as they pass by…”show me your pussy”…

Know your heroes….you’ve been lied to.

Here are some stepLINKS….

Cowboys WAG and College Athlete Haley Cavinder Shows You Her Fitness!
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Candace Owens is Calling Out the Kardashians and Emily Ratajkowski for What She Calls the “Hoe Epidemic”!
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Charlotte Mckinney Gets Back to Basics!
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Kate Upton’s in an Animal Print Robe!
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Man’s epic Walmart prank surprises peopl
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MOTORPORN VOL53
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Drunk driving bicyclist gets into an accident
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Funny pranks and gags to make your day
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Pink Top Extravaganza: Bebe Rexha’s Voluptuous Boobs Take Center Stage!
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MISFIT MEMES
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TBT: Spider-Man Rated-R
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Kendall Jenner – for Calvin Klein,
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28 Hot Weekend Girls
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Austrian groundsman clears the field of snow using the ladder trick
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Man saves his dog from a coyote by grabbing it by its tail
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Livvy Dunne Does Gymnastics!
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The 20 funniest “that’s what she said” photos
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Football player kicks the ball right into his own face
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Elle Fanning Nip Slip at a 2024 Golden Globe Party!
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Tana Mongeau The Island Girl!
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H.E.R. Cleavage at The Color Purple Premiere!
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Detroit Lions RB Jahmyr Gibbs has a Girlfriend!
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Compilation of cats getting really scared
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Upgrade Your Tech With These Top Picks!
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20+ Children Who Are Copy-Paste Versions of Their Parents
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Lindsay Lohan looks fetch on red carpet
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Shay Mitchell Debuts New Hair While Topless!
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INSTAGRAM OF THE DAY: MARGARIDACORCEIRO
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Madison Pettis is a Lakers Fan!
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Lorry crashes into a car and keeps pushing it
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Seduction on Snow: Kendall Jenner’s Leggy Display in Aspen’s Wintry Charm
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Tearing apart a Tesla tire to see what’s inside
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Smoking With His Bro
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18 PEOPLE DEFINITELY HAVING A SHITTIER DAY THAN YOU
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Great Dane dressed up as a lion visits a mall
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Caylee Cowan in Tight Gym Clothes!
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Ladies Only Laughs: Exclusive Memes For The Female Perspective (27 PICS)
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20 Hot Barno Girls
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Scary examples of lithium fires
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From the Forum

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Thomasin McKenzie – Coco Crush Campaign Celebration in London
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Normani – Freaky Tales premiere during Sundance Film Festival
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Lucy Boynton – Coco Crush Campaign Celebration in London
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Isla Fisher – Late Night with Seth Meyers
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Kristen Stewart – Sundance Film Fest Opening Night Gala: Celebrating 40 Years
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Kendall Jenner – Not jacketing her slutty(ish) little dress for shopping
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Clara Rugaard – Coco Crush Campaign Celebration in London
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Penelope Cruz – Elle Magazine
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Lana Del Rey – Skims Valentine’s Day Campaign
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Sofia Vergara – The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon
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From stepSMUT!!

(LINKS BELOW ARE NSFW!)
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SO, CRAZYSHIT… WOULD YOU HIT IT?
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Oh My!
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Double-DJ!
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Hotel Room Remote Control Nastyness!
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AMATEUR FLESH: NAUGHTYFAIRYPRINCESS
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Lulu That Pussy Tapped Out Exploited College Girls
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Real or Fake? (GIF)
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Maria Body Big Plums 1
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Special request: Sue Lyon in Murder in a Blue World (1973)
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Coco Natural Curves Net Video Girls
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Katya Elise Henry Booty in Skimpy Gym Attire!
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Ameena Green in Ameenable Negotiation at BaDoinkVR
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Lingerie Babe Darina A via Femjoy
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Just Sleeping
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Taylor Mega shows us her body in a bikini on a beach in Abu Dhabi
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Hotter Than The Sun #45
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Dildo For the Repairman!
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Average College Activities
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Pier Angeli in Addio, Alexandra (1969)
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FIGHTING FRIDAYS #332
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Bella Hadid See Through in Perfect Magazine!
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Ariana Reychers At Domai
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Angel Youngs & Liz Jordan X Friends 2 Zishy
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Titty Envy (GIF)
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Really Close Friends (GIF)
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Emily Ratajkowski … in a new sexy photo shoot with an 80?s mood!
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BATHROBES
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New Model Azzurra Moretti!
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Busty Cristy Ren via Mr Skin Celebs
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Thayana Thayana’s Beautiful Oiled Body XL Girls
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Pussy Lifting!
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Julia Rose Nude
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The Twister (GIF)
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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Fuck Girls Who Are Out of Your League….
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Fuck Fleshlights, They’re Amazing
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Posted in:stepLINKS