DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2017

12

Jun

Ariel Winter Looks Like This of the Day

This is pretty much what I see – in every single picture of Ariel Winter. I think it may have to do with my facial recognition blindness, I latch onto one version of the person and I can’t ever see past that version, and in this case, I just see this big neck on a dumpy girl, even with her restructured tits, because big tits alone can’t win my dick, I need there to be a little more hotness going on….

Meaning, she’s a fucking troll, hard nipples or not, they don’t save her from looking like a middled aged french Canadian woman in a trailer park eating donuts….all day…everyday…

I never watched Modern Family, I like knowing she’s got all kinds of issues with her real family, because it makes her more entertaining in her collapse, but I think there’s just a lot of money behind her and her brand…and that’s why all you suckers eat her up..

When I know…no one watches TV anymore, unless they are retirees in the trailer park….which would explain why she’s even someone people talk about…

A Monster…Yes.

Posted in:SFW

2017

12

Jun

Bella Thorne Weird Shorts of the Day

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Bella Thorne is wearing some weird shorts today, because regular cut off shots that ride up her ass aren’t good enough for her, she’s gotta go straight late 80s when I cut my own cut offs from a pair of jeans I owned, the only pair of jeans I owned, I was and remain poor as fuck, and ended up with something a little like this, but probably sexier, at least to a pedophile into 15 year old boys in cut off jeans, because sex appeal is subjective, I’ve found some of the most disgusting things hot over the years, even the occasional fat chick, because hot is a higher concept than just physical…it’s how a slut carries herself, or how she sucks a dick, or how she rejects me over and over making me want to fuck her out of spite…you know there’s lots to why someone is hot…and this Bella Thorne is hot because she’s a young, tight enough bodied, working actress in a world where actors don’t make as much as they used to and don’t matter the way they used to…but when they slut out on instagram like an instagram whore – they are perfect….exhibitionism from a professional liar who was sold out as a kid…and knows all the right moves…wonderful…so Bella Thorne…I dig…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2017

12

Jun

Dakota Fanning and her Fat Managers of the Day

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Dakota Fanning posted a bikini pic with what we used to call in the 90s a couple of Fat Managers…

It was the girl that the hotter skinnier girl would hang out with so that when pics came around – or even pre pics – when people would come around – they’d look the hottest…and the tightest and often times, weren’t even that hot or that tight – but by comparison they were…like an optical illusion…some “magic eye poster” shit….

We’d call them fat managers, because as much as the skinny hot one liked having the fat ones around to look hotter against, or to spew all their stories on as the fat one groupied and envied her….the fat ones liked the skinny one around because it made them seem hotter or more desirable…as the hot one would lure in so much attention there’d be a spillover…

With that spillover the hot one would choose the dude she wanted to get with and his friends or other dudes would be pawned onto the fat chicks, they’d call that JUMPING THE GRENADE, and everyone would fuck, some happier than others, usually the fat chick….because she got laid..

Point being, if you wanted the hot chick you’d have to go through the fat manager, you’d have to win her trust and friendship but not make her want to fuck you, because if she did, it’d be over and you’d be fucking the fat manager not the hot chick….it was always a complicated dance…but luckily for me, I’m vile and the hot chicks never wanted me, so I’d just end up giving the fat manager a foot massage while my friend would fuck the hot one and jerk off in the bathroom when everyone was asleep….

Life.

Posted in:Dakota Fanning|SFW

2017

12

Jun

Donna D’Errico LOL of the Day

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Donna D’Errico still exists – she’s 50 and looks like this – and that in and of itself is amazing….

She’s the ex wife of Nikki Sixx, probably the mother of his kid, but most interestingly, she was a TV star…in Baywatch…hilarious…if you think about it, because all these 90s bitches, who also posed for Playboy but ended up on Baywatch “acting”…looked like low level strippers, still look like low level strippers, and to think that that was what fame was about…is weird.

I guess things haven’t changed, really, the implants are more believable maybe, the looks more natural…but when these plastic, aging weird women from my past come along I remember…the world has always been so fucking cheesy…these rock and roll girls are the ratchets who fuck rappers of today – it’s same same but different…because humans are always the same uninspiring and usually disgusting bundle of gross.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW

2017

12

Jun

Rosario Dawson Cocktease of the Day

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Last week, Rosario Dawson’s legal team reported my site to google, even after I deleted her nude selfies that were leaked or posted to the internet – that I wasn’t even sure were of her – but I am now – because her legal team came after me…I got the final notice from them yesterday…

You know angry she’s an exhibitionist who gets naked in pics, like everyone else in the world, including me, like I’ll facetime a bitch my cock if she really wants it – why the fuck would I care…and I’m anonymous on the internet…this one is some coke party girl who recently found her dead cousin who was employed by her – because that’s how hard they go….someone who has been out there, naked or naked enough since she was 17….and she cares that I repost pics I found on tumblr…come on…

Then she goes out and snaps her toplessness with the hashtag free the nipple without showing…like a cocktease you know she is – because as an actress that’s what she does…but still…offensive…

Posted in:Rosario Dawson|SFW

2017

12

Jun

Kim Van der Laan Nipples for Glamour UK of the Day

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Kim Van der Laan – is a model I don’t follow on INSTAGRAM , well I do now…because I have an addiction to following every single girl who has ever taken a slutty picture – but unfortunately, instagram caps you at 7500 people…and I can’t follow anymore sluts, but there are 100s of thousands of them out there and I want them all on my feed so that I can stare at their slutty pics…

This Kim Van der Laan character isn’t quite an instagram hooker, but she’s got tits in Glamour UK which is a fashion / porn mag and could be her big break…one you know she’s either masturbated to – or her friends for High School who always wanted to see her tits have masturbated to…and now you can masturbate to it too..

Posted in:Kim Van der Laan

2017

12

Jun

Amber Rose Bush for Instagram of the Day

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Anything for attention with this one…gutter and disgusting stripper and rapper fucker Amber Rose is starting a new feminist movement about freeing the bush, which is a good thing, something I’ve been an advocate for for a long fucking time and that I know is now becoming a trend, because bush is hot, it’s easier to maintain than shaving, it’s more comfortable, and it’s time…

Now I don’t know how many other girls will start posting their bush, but I do know that we are living in a wonderful time where most girls have pubic hair, the decoration of their pussy, the accessory, that is so fucking sexy and I want my face in it…but not so much Amber Rose’s bush, she’s a vile pig who disgusts me…

But bush as a whole…on a hole….must be CELEBRATED…and posted on instagram for me to jerk off to…

I don’t know why these women think not shaving is a trophy, it’s just fucking lazy and amazing, it requires less work…and I don’t know why it’s a political agenda or protest that women feel the need to come together on as a group – but it’s hilarious that it is – it says alot about women and how easily influenced they are by each other to think shaving pussy is the way to life…crazy…

Posted in:Amber Rose

2017

12

Jun

Maitland Ward for Instagram of the Day

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Maitland Ward writes me emails every time I say that a reader of the site sent me screenshots of a conversation he had with her – that she denies – despite me having the screen shots – where she offered to fuck him without a condom – I think anal sex was involved – I’d have to look – for $1000..

I don’t know why she’s upset I write about it, she denies it ever happned, but more importantly, the world is full of much cheaper escorts, sure they weren’t a 1990s fetish to people who watched Boy Meets world, and they don’t get written about on blogs, but 1000 dollars is good money….why be ashamed…

I do think Maitland Ward is funny, a good time, she puts herself out there and doesn’t give a fuck, with her 40 year old monster tits…and I dig what she does…so whether she fucks for money- something she denies aggressively…or not…I don’t want to rain on that parade because as much as I avoid posting her pics…some are just too good, in a WTF is going on kind of way – to ignore…

Posted in:Maitland Ward

2017

12

Jun

Frida Aasen – Bikini Model of the Day

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Apparently, I follow everyone on social media, including this FRIDA Aasen chick…who I bet I’ve done posts on because all these models get naked and I like that shit…but that I don’t remember because there is too much noise out there…

Have I see her tits? Probably and I’m not even going to bother googling it because I already know it’s out there, as these feminists have won, they’ve taken the excitement out of nipples, by saturating my life with nipples, only the jokes on them, I still love nipples, there’s just so many out there I don’t need to track down these ones that were taken last month or longer…I can just look around and find NEW ones…that were taken this weekend…

Fresh titty content is my favorite…

Posted in:SFW

2017

12

Jun

Whitney Cummings on Vacation of the Day

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Whitney Cummings is a Comedian…or is it Comedienne. I don’t really remmeber any of her jokes because Stand Up comedy rarely impresses me. Maybe it is because I am a joke snob and bitter that I can’t write jokes as popular or as easy to understand as these usually unattractive people talking their shit on stage…or maybe I don’t find it impressive to hear the same jokes over and over – as these people usually use the same jokes over and over – and the ones who are actually successful are the worst kind of person who thinks they are funny, and works so hard at it, making it not that funny at all..

Why can’t a naturally funny dude just get picked up promoted and exist, instead it’s these assholes who move to LA and practice in front of the mirror, telling the same joke over and over in his 30 minute set, you know to lock down that 30…and I just never laugh at the shit..

Whitney Cummings was an interesting specimen in the comedy space for a while, she was just this 8/10 type chick which is a good rating, a generous rating, but she was skinny with big tits making sex jokes and not a monster like Sarah Silverman…

Well, she ended up producing a handful of shows on TV, and made millions…so good for her…let her play in her bikini….all she wants…because she made it – all in just a few years..I think at one point she was Executive producer on 4 TV shows…

Now I still don’t like comedy, or funny girls, because I hate laughing and I hate jokes…but I like tits, bikini or not…so here they are…

Posted in:SFW