DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

25

Jul

Topless Jennifer Aniston Butt Shot of the Day

Watching a 50 year old, barren Jennifer Aniston in a skimpy bikini bottom is almost depressing, because I know that ass is all she’s got to show for her holding out on having kids and when all her friends are fulfilled women – who have babies to love and nurture – she’s out tanning with her ass in the air…..like she’s on a permanent vacation thanks to all her money – while her poorer gold digging man caters to her requests – because not having kids is fucking awesome. Seriously…

How many 50 year olds are still worth fucking…not many…and this one, despite how sad she may be about it, thanks to being a spoiled cunt who gets everything she wants, except babies, because dudes either fear her or she’s to vain to fuck up her life…even though childbirth is so fucking narcissist…trying to understand it is futile…there’s no understanding a super zoom of a paparazzi camera on her ass…it’s just there and it’s worth looking at…and that’s more than most moms at 50 can say…so despite her sadness – this is winning.

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Posted in:Jennifer Aniston|SFW

2016

25

Jul

Hilary Duff Corn Eater of the Day

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The best meme of the weekend and a reminder than I can’t keep up with the internet – because people in all different timezones are online all day and they are following celebs on social media and they have access to the same paparazzi pics I do…making me pretty fucking obsolete, but the good news is that I already knew it…was well aware as I was sitting in my basement apartment, mold filled palace built of internet money that allows me to coast these golden years …

So someone took her funny tweet and posted it over the picture in question – and it was simple, elegant and made it real…it tied it all together like a masterful dance my use of the internet just couldn’t pull off because I don’t think in terms of social media – I hate social media hence why I am on a sinking shit…but at least I’m here to write captivating commentary on Hilary Duff Sucking Corn, it’s a wholesome midwestern fetish, but dudes love all phallus based mouth on dick like things…and Hilary Duff in and of herself is a fetish of her own to her fans…so here it is.

Posted in:Hilary Duff|SFW

2016

25

Jul

Dioni Tabbers Tits for Fashion of the Day

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Dioni Tabbersis a 25 year old Dutch model isn’t bringing her TULIPS out and by tulips I mean tits…dutch tits…not her pussy lips which would be more interesting…nothing like a bad gardening joke from a Mexican garderner to get this post started…because I am a self hating Mexican gardener..with a small penis…

She’s been at this modeling thing for a while, she’s done topless shoots over the last 5 or 6 years and despite looking like a low level instagram model, SHE’S LEGIT…

ALL this shit, all these girls, start to spill into each other like one great orgy cum dripping out of one cunt into the other – an orgy we aren’t invited to…

She’s only got 13,000 followers on instagram – FOLLOW HER ON INSTAGRAM – her tits are too good to not follow her on instagram – get her that taste of people caring – before ripping it away and forcing her to get more naked – if she doesn’t feel that direct correlation of naked to followers – she won’t get naked as much as she should…so help her see the light…

Posted in:Dioni Tabbers

2016

25

Jul

Charlotte McKinney Panty Flash of the Day

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Charlotte McKinney is on the aggressive hustle…I am not sure if it’s so much a sugar daddy hustle, I’m pretty sure she’s a rich kid from FLorida which is a wonderful place to be a rich kid, since they still retain the trashiness of Florida, just with white trash new money attitude…

I would assume she’s trying to find famous people to “date” or have her picture taken with after they fuck her – to get some press….

She used her big tits to get out there…but she pulled the trigger too soon on TV…making her the forgettable tits, rather than getting herself more titty famous before doing TV so perverts had more of an emotional connection to her tits…and now she’s here forced to flash panties to the paparzzi she called – because she needs the press…

It’s almost a sad story, but not really, it’d be way more sad if she settled with a rich guy and her demise wasn’t documented, her tits being pulled out not documented, we like her tits, and like to see them come out more and more as she struggles to figure out how to maintain that fame…instagram followers is not enough dammit.

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Posted in:Charlotte McKinney|SFW

2016

25

Jul

Rihanna Nude on her Merch of the Day

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Rihanna’s merch for her upcoming show is her naked.

This means that Rihanna fans will be walking around with Rihanna tits on their chests…

Which brings the important question of who actually listens to Rihanna or buys her bullshit merch..

I am sure there are a lot of 35 year old women who were into her first album and who go to her concerts for fun in their miserable lives….you know the girls were were 15 when Rihanna first hit….

But I’d think the people buying merch are actually 13 or 14 year old kids using their parent’s money, because no one would buy this shit with their own money….

So elementary and middle schools everywhere will be littered with Rihanna tits..and that’s a pretty good troll…or I guess “marketing”….if marketing involved 13 or 14 year old girls recreating this shit with their iphones – to get dudes like you arrested…for liking it – when you shouldn’t – they are 14 you freak…

I am not against nudity on shirts, in life, so I think it’s godo to see Rihanna bring it….but it’d be better if she had better tits…

Posted in:Rihanna

2016

25

Jul

Iggy Azalea Shows Off Weird Ass of the Day

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Iggy Azalea is bullshit, but not as bullshit as her ass, an ass she’s posted to her social media to get that male attention she craves, otherwise she’d never have got the ass implants in the first place to milk to every black guy she could – especially those in the music industry who could help her get out there with her shitty rapping – before settling with pro athletes who I guess are rich and a better way to spend getting fucked from behind…

She’s some fucking clown, but instead of a red nose and floppy shoes, she went with the ass…and she’s committed to it…like she’s committed to all the other lies about her. I’m not a fan of anything she’s done, ever. Just garbage but I’ll post her shameless butt shots because I bottom feed.

Posted in:Iggy Azalea|SFW

2016

25

Jul

Ariel Winter’s Ambitious Outfit of the Day

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Ariel Winter is pretty bold in her outfit choices. She just puts it out there – which makes sense since her existence, privacy and life has been robbed of her…as has her childhood and I’m sure there are a lot of fucked up stories like she was a new generation of Lohan..with parents on her ass telling her not to fucking ruin it….who had her under their control…and the day she turned 18…she existed, her reduced tits sloppy and dangling everywhere she went – in some kind of protest her creepy fans who have watched her grow up masturbate to…

I am not a fan, but today…she looks less fat than she did last week…I guess she’s still a growing girl who theoretically can get her metabolism going with a bit of fitness…for now she’s ok, just a little on the heavy side by it’s at 30 you’ll want her to cover the fuck up…because she’ll be 400 fucking pounds…

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Posted in:Ariel Winter|SFW

2016

25

Jul

Selena Gomez in Bikini of the Day

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Selena Gomez is in a bikini….sucking on a popsicle…like a little slut form her Springbreaker movie that she produced under a fake name….like she was Taylor Swift writing shitty dance songs for Rihanna and her boyfriend of the minute Calvin Harris…because Selena Gomez at the time was committed to her vanilla image and is now following her idols Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift and embracing the slut….the edginess…that makes the idiot youth think she’s more legit than she actually is…when we all know she’s just a well trained puppet.

I guess what it comes down to is that this really looks like every kid I’ve seen dying off his chemotherapy treatments she was so quick to say she was getting – while partying everyday – to get the sympathy vote and that was the day I decided that Selena Gomez is fucking dog shit, garbage, manipulative and even her bikini pics are garbage…bieber fucking garbage…

But people still want to fuck her, I mean you don’t have to think about all that is wrong ith her when sitting in her penthouse hotel room in a squat pissing on her assistants face while you watch…or whatever it is the kids are into these days…I just know they are the fucking worst.

Here she is in some magazine

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2016

25

Jul

Maitland Ward Body Painted Pussy of the Day

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Maitland Ward and I are very good friends. She emails me everytime I rip into her for a story a reader sent in about her offering to have anal sex with him for very little money – because her and her husband are broke swingers and that’s what they do….

My response to her emails are always “send me pussy pics”….or “let’s make a sex tape”…not that I am convinced anyone would watch her sex tape, she’s not that famous and at 39 years old, after a year or two of pushing as hard as she can to get famous, and is still not famous….resorting to offering sex on snapchat that SHE denies, obviously…..saying the screenshots are fake….and that I took down because I am a nice guy – but still talk about because you can’t silence me….

Well, I guess since it is Comic Con, not that she was at Comic Con, but she took pics of herself like she was, in Cosplay costumes – for her fans that fucking love it..

And I just love that her pussy is fully hanging out, you know body painted done right…in the thinnest coat of paint ever…with pussy fully hanging out…

It’s weird, but great….in a terrible fucking way….Keep up the good work, she’s making me a believer…I am just not sure what I’m believing in…seriously – what the fuck is this..

TO SEE ALL THE PICS OF ALL THE CELEBS AT AND FROM COMIC CON
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Maitland Ward

2016

25

Jul

Emma Roberts holding Predator’s Hand of the Day

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A video posted by Emma Roberts (@emmaroberts) on Jul 22, 2016 at 11:00pm PDT

It’s Comic Con so all the nerds have been masturbating to nerd shit that comic con brings out….

Like girls, often times hot girls who realize nerds are an easy market to get into – all they have to do is play video games or dress up in characters from their favorite bullshit…

Or – The WONDER WOMAN TRAILER….12 million fucking views….really…..

Or – Brie Larson playing captain Marvel ,because when you win an Oscar for some indy role, you have to do comic book movies – they are the only movies happening these days…which I find unfortunate…but NERDS FUCKING LOVE>…

So Cosplay, weirdos, creepy people into cosplay and celebrities milking the shit out of these people, because these people actually fucking pay to go to movies, because something went wrong in their lives or childhood forcing them to become fanatic. You know so absorbed in the characters, the lifestyle, yet so alone in their social awkwardness

TO SEE ALL THE PICS OF ALL THE CELEBS AT AND FROM COMIC CON
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Emma Roberts|SFW