DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Is Eva Longoria’s Ass Real of the Day

Emma Roberts is Pregnant and Ashley Benson is in a Thong in Bikinis of the Day

Suki Waterhouse Flashes her Ass of the Day

Em Rata and her Muppet Face of the Day

Halle Berry in a Lingerie Outfit Despite Being 100 of the Day

2016

Apr

Paula Bulczynska Naked for Lions Magazine of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know if it is fair to call every single busty model, who may not really have what it takes to be a model on her own, but who has the tits and the spirit to put the effort into getting naked with a variety of fake magazines with big instagram accounts…and fake photographers with big instagram accounts…on trips to LA from their war torn communist countries on some kind of tourist VISA hoping to break through…an EM RATA…seeing as EM RATA put in less effort than these girls, she already lived in Southern California and just had to drive an hour and half to make her dreams come true getting naked in photoshoots…

But I will say that a lot of these instagram girls you’ve never heard of, with big tits, showing their tits for nonsense photoshoots, because they are hot and being naked is what gets them a head is great, but still boring, but only because it’s been done, everyone is doing it, and I am more interested in the next thing, even if that next thing is girls getting dressed and no showing tits, so that when you get to see their tits, they seem special and exciting…not just typical, desperate, boring, and thirsty for fame…which takes away the excitement and boner of tits even if they’re tits and we love tits…

I do think Paula Bulczynska and her ethnic sounding name, who is probably from Arizona or some shit is lovely…but she reminds me that people need to be less lazy in this absolutely lazy, entitled, vain, narcissistic selfie generation. So boring which is saying a lot for someone who fucking love tits and sluts and has made a life out of watching them…and obsessing over them…while they just try to get ahead through their prostitution….maybe I’m old…blame low testosterone…or maybe I’m gay or A sexual and if I am…the media made me this way by exposing me to so much naked hot bitches…but I don’t think I am, I just prefer sluts who don’t get naked on the internet I guess.

Posted in:Paula Bulczynska

2016

Apr

Willa Holland Eats Pizza of the Day

No Comments »

Willa Holland eating pizza is a bit of a fetish…

Not because I am a drunkenstepfather and she was raised as Brian De Palma’s stepdaughter, thanks to having some gold digging whore mother…that has raised her to have her own career and celebrity so that they don’t have to keep sucking dick for the 20 million dollar mansion.

I used to jerk off to a De Palma movie called Dressed to Kill because there’s a scene with a blonde bush, in an era where I didn’t have access to porn, but I did and still do have a bush fetish…I’d pause that VHS so fucking hard…sure it wasn’t Scarface or the Untouchables…or even Nic Cage’s Snake Eyes…but that bush scene was De Palma’s legacy…I mean…unless he was a good stepfather to Willa Holland and brought her us…

The interesting thing with Willa Holland is that she’s become a hipster, self producing content creator, building her own personal brand like an instagram model, when she’s not on TV making money as an actor…since everyone needs hobbies, even people with mainstream success, maybe especially people with mainstream success, because mainstream usually means trading in your soul, integrity, art to make producers happy.

The reality is, I know very little about Willa Holland or her motivations in PIZZA porn…I just know she was the hotter girl in the OC, when watching the OC got me laid by college girls…it was a simpler time…but I guess I’m still pretty simple, since girl in sports bra eating pizza is all I need to feel complete in my soul.

Posted in:SFW|Willa Holland

2016

Apr

Hailee Steinfeld in a Bikini in Barbados of the Day

No Comments »

Hailee Steinfeld is some Hollywood actress who realizes that there’s more money in shitty music, you know with tours and merch and everything, plus it’s so much fun to play a popstar all dancing on stage, despite being big and awkward…rather than filming one or two movies a year that take around two to three months a year to make…leaving 9 more months to leverage that fame to make the family as much money as possible…thanks to guilt you can assume her parents make her feel when she doesn’t work, despite being 18, due to the sacrifices the family has made to give her this fucking career in the first place…even though the family has always been LA based JEWS and not really a story of struggle, packing up the van with nothing to break into the industry…a mom sucking every dick she can to get a head…and a daughter forced to watch because they live in said van and there’s not much privacy in a fucking van….

So we can assume, her acting and singing is the equivalent of working at Disney for the summer or on Weekends, it requires about as much talent and is probably less demanding than working as a waitress through college…it just pays a lot more and takes her to great places like BARBADOS…in a bikini top…where she doesn’t have that “fresh 18 year old in a bikini pussy I want to taste” pervert vibes…she’s more like the weird 18 year old you didn’t fuck in high school, but should of, because no one talked to her and she’d be easy to get up inside…

All this to say, at least she’s not at Coachella.

Posted in:Hailee Steinfeld|SFW

2016

Apr

Bo Derek Now of the Day

No Comments »

CLICK THIS PICTURE TO SEE WHAT THE AGING PROCESS DOES TO WOMEN….

LOOK I JUST PRODUCED CLICKBAIT

I FEEL LIKE A REVOLUTIONARY ONLINE MARKETING GENIUS USING OLD TRICKS TO GET HITS ON SOCIAL MEDIA BECAUSE HITS FOR MOST SITES MEANS REVENUE BUT IN MY CASE JUST MEANS HIGHER SERVER COSTS – FUCKERS

EITHER WAY, WOMEN GETTING OLD IS PRETTY TERRIFYING, LOOK AT BO DEREK PULLING A “LOOKING GOOD SWEETHEART”…ALMOST GIVING GIRLS A REASON TO BE SUCH WHORES IN THEIR MID TO LATE 20s, THEY HAVE A SMALL WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY TO ESTABLISH THEIR LIVES….

Posted in:Bo Derek|SFW

2016

Apr

Maitland Ward Nipples for Snapchat Famewhoring of the DAy

No Comments »

Maitland Ward is the best kind of famewhore, one who gets mad when you call her a high class escort because someone has sent me transcripts from snapchat conversations where she offered him anal for 100 dollars…something she denies…because she’s married and married girls never prostitute themselves…You know an honest married woman who in the 90s was the love interest on a massive fucking show…Boy Meets World…only to NEVER achieve ANYTHING every again…but her fans still want to fuck her…

Which is forcing her to try her best to use social media to leverage those weird in their 40s by now fans…with bikini pics and topless pics to show you what you missed out 20 years ago when she was hot, tight and not in her 40s…

I consider Maitland Ward a homie, she is a friend of the site, so I make fun of her with love and affection, because I think she’s great and I mean how can you hate on someone with such big old tits, pulling out those big old tits, because she was on TV once….for FREE…

It’s almost brilliant, not that they’re worth money, not that they are revolutionary, but they are worth enjoying since she’s giving them out for you to look at..

It confuses me, but when you spend time in Hollywood, you know this is just what happens with the type of person who was a lot of hype at one point in time in her life..

I am a fan of everything she does…

Posted in:Maitland Ward

2016

Apr

Shay Mitchell Weird Pantyline of the Day

No Comments »

If you live in Canada, you have to have a certain percentage of your media content Canadian, in efforts to keep us Socialist and not bombarded by the EVIL AMERICANS and their shitty TV shows, because if they didn’t enforce that law, you can assume that Canada content, and Canada as a whole would be would be 100 percent American, like we were the same country, which we pretty much are, despite how the people at the border make you feel while crossing…and Healthcare…

So Canada produces it’s own shitty Cable Access looking content, up on some RUSSIAN content level, which is where our own star, that we’ve give to you fair American Bredran, Shay Mitchell got her start before calling up her costar on his Hotline Bling to say “fuck this shit, let’s bounce”…taking over the music and entertainment industry…Drake being Drake…and Shay Mitchell being some spoiled brat ego on some hit show that will come to an end and that we can hope makes her come to an end too..

Here’s her PANTYLINE for LOLZ.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Shay Mitchell

2016

Apr

Leven Rambin Parrack Tit Grab of the Day

No Comments »

I am going to assume that you don’t know who Leven Rambin Parrack, but then again, I also assume you are a socially awkward, unemployed loser, who has a lot of time looking up girls on TV, or movies, using the IMDB list of relevant actors to find jerk off material…it’s not your fault it’s a fetish..

I should have probably started this post off saying “I don’t know who Leven Rambin Parrack is”…but that’s how I start 90 percent of my posts, because I genuinely have no idea who all these people are, I just like obsessively posting on them because it seems to be what the media wants us to do…

That said, she’s been on TV since she was 13, whored out properly, and the reason you probably know her, being unemployed and weird, is that she was on All My Children, as a child, you liked that…

Well, like all broken women who feel they need to a man to validate themselves, she’s married a dude name Jim Parrack, also of TEXAS, who you know as some dude on TRUE BLOOD…

He’s gone onto great things like grabbing her tit for social media…we like this behavior. Good young married famous couple.

Posted in:Leven Rambin Parrack

2016

Apr

Crackhead Walk and Other Videos of the Day

No Comments »

Crackhead Freaked Out at Popeyes

Your Dog Bit My Nuts

Woman VS Thief with Gun…

Woman Jumps in Underwear or Naked From Fire…

French Rugby Brawl

Gymnastic Coach Does Weird Save

Dude Escapes a Crazy Crash

Street Brawl

Two Old Men Whacking Each Other With Brooms

Posted in:stepNEWS|Videos

2016

Apr

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard Make an Apology Video of the Day

No Comments »

This is the funniest, least gangster, billionaire actor with his pretentious accent, his super fame…and his gold digging, fame whoring, home wrecking wife Amber Heard….

Australia, like Elementary school, decided to punish the actor couple in the most hilarious way, we call “free product plug”…so they were ordered to issue an apology to make everyone declare EVERYTHING, thanks to their dogs being “smuggled” in…the government got Celeb spokespeople in a video, the world goes on another day…

Johnny Depp, rolling his eyes knowing he is worth more to the world than Australia, but going along with it, because his cunt wife forced them to bring the dogs on the trip, breaking the rules, because why wouldn’t they…they are super fucking famous…

Long gone are the days of Crybaby doing cock off Madonna’s clit..but instead, he’s doing the time for the crime, with the silliest slap on the wrist ever…

I appreciate this video and Australia figuring out how to get endorsements without paying, something all great marketers do…from Ellen getting Shaq to play basketball on her show for some sponsor, or me locking an instagram model in my basement until she tells her fans to follow me…we’re all just trying to use people who are ahead…to get ahead…while sometimes getting head…

They look so sleepy…

Posted in:Johnny Depp|SFW

2016

Apr

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

No Comments »

I wasn’t at Coachella for the weekend, because I am not an asshole…but I did have the most amazing model do a Sunday morning takeover on my snapchat “drunkstepfather” and it was brilliant…Phoebe Price (yes that Pheobe Price) craziness and my favorite Irish dream ROSALIND LIPSETT

I was at a dive bar with a group of fat married chicks in their 40s who had one too many drinks due to excitement for being allowed out of the house for a night while the Husbands took advantage of the opportunity to jerk off to porn….leading to a bunch of screaming ladies, and not in a good way…awkwardness…but I did get one to show me her vagina when she discussed how her vagina wasn’t damaged from pregnancy…

Needless to say…amazing…but disgusting…still better than Coachella and the models…

Here are some stepLINKS…in the morning…

Thigh Gaps
CLICK HERE

NAZI PUG!
CLICK HERE

Just a Woman and a Tiger Cage in Toronto
CLICK HERE

Ecuador Earthquake – the Video – RIP 250 People
CLICK HERE

Hot Bitch in a Bra Top
CLICK HERE

Chrissy Teigen Shat Out a Baby
CLICK HERE

Bloody Courtney Stodden
CLICK HERE

Beyonce Sucking Lemons
CLICK HERE

Parallel Park of the Day
CLICK HERE

KFC Handjob Ad for Twitter was Brilliant – Haters Gonna Hate
CLICK HERE

TV Interview Interrupted by Exploding Manhole Cover…
CLICK HERE

Lindsay Pelas Huge Tits
CLICK HERE

Turn Your Bike into a Bike Car
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepLINKS