DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2023

16

May

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

I like to think that the only reason Zuckerberg owns half of Hawaii with his data mining platform that people don’t mind having their data mined from, is all because of the bikini…

There’s the idiotic rationale that people have about data mining, which goes a little something like “I have nothing to hide” or “they are watching me anyway through my phone, so why not just let them make billions off our backs”….not realizing that the DATA mining is not only invasive but the same data that has trained the AI to be smarter than you….

But that’s just the power of the bikini….

I remember an ongoing bar conversation I’d have when the SMART PHONE first happened, or when I first got mine, which was probably 5 years after the first smart phone happened, where I would say “imagine I told you that I’ll give you a device that listens to everything you say, reads everything you write, knows everything you search, every site you visit, every porn you’ve jerked off to, every woman you’ve said inappropriate things to while drunk, ever picture you’ve taken, every location you’ve been, including your current location” you’d think I was crazy, now people are buying this shit for 1000 dollars…..but hey, it will allow women to take and post more bikinis, which means you can view more bikinis, so it’s worth it…

Basically, we’ve given up our freedoms and live in tyranny all thanks to swimwear and I’m almost OK with it, cuz swimwear is HOT..

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Posted in:swimsuit

2023

16

May

Video of the Day

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I am sure this is a pretty old edit, in part because fat is now normalized and calling an under water fat bitch a whale is frowned upon in our modern and horrible society…

I am well aware of the trending memes, stories, videos, news clips, brawl videos, twerking videos that people post and maybe I’ll post more of those, I’ve posted that shit for decades at this point….people don’t come here for that, they go elsewhere for that, but since they don’t come here for anything, I can focus on things I like like the timelessness of making fun of a fatty underwater…it’s great…

Posted in:Videos

2023

16

May

Tiny Tits Tuesday of the Day

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Tiny Tits Tuesday is the day we celebrate the Tiny Tits, in a way to hopefully not get any tits slaughted and implanted with cancer and inflammation causing tit sacks, even if it makes it more visually exciting for the perverts out there, who don’t know how to appreciate smaller packages that have just as much bite, with less bark than the bigger tit counterparts….

As it turns out, some tiny tits can also be breast implants, which is something I generally pretend doesn’t happen, because why would a girl waste her time going from an a-cup to a barely b-cup…..because the world doesn’t make sense, that’s why….

But as a general rule, the tiny tit celebration, because tiny tits are hot, perky, lovely, and still have nipples to suck on, needs to happen to save the tiny tits that think they are unworthy being tiny tits, unless of course the tiny tits feeling unworthy give people like me a chance to play with them because they feel inadequate….

MAYBE I am looking at this all wrong and instead of being a hero to the tiny tit community by endorsing them, I should be hating on them, making them feel insecure so they have something to prove to me about their tiny titty worth….

Something to think about…right…

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Posted in:TINY TITS

2023

16

May

Irina Shayk’s Nipple Show of the Day

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I am pretty behind the curve on this series of pics posted by the hottest of the models, even in her old age, living life as a single mother, who potentially wallet fucked some A-Lister until it made her a baby, for that guaranteed good life, or it was just a needed tool in her espionage training to get that access to all the right decision makers who are excited and won over by both A-Listers and hot models….

But Irina Shayk, the soulless, cold, pragmatic Russian who gets shit done, from BEARDING for RONALDO to making it into SI SWIM for the world to realize that Russia has some hot chicks, which is probably why people should stop bitching about them over this war that no one really seems to care about no matter how hard they push it on us like it was COVID….nothing a NUCLEAR ATTACK won’t fix as we scramble into our bunkers…OH WAIT…we don’t have BUNKERS…but we have all these nice things we’ve bought on CREDIT…check out my designer BAGS Kim Kardashian told me to go into debt to buy….DUMB FUCKS….not prepared for anything….

But yeah….IRINA SHAYK, hot model, mom model, Brad Coopers cum dumpster that generated new life, posted her nips in a wife-beater like she’s at 1996 VANS WARPED TOUR in the middle of summer, when that was the trend, and I’m into any nip pics I can get of Irina Shayk and really of ANYONE….

These were posted MAY 3rd, I was probably TOO JAZZED about May the Fourth, you know since I’m really into Star Wars so hard I haven’t seen it since it came out in the 70s…or maybe I am just bad at blogging, which my bank account that was de-banked is telling me…

The other pics are from MIAMI F1, also weeks ago…..BUT IT IS NEW TO ME…

Posted in:Irina Shayk

2023

15

May

Leni Klum’s Near Sheer Top of the Day

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I don’t know what these Leni Klum pics are from but I know they are worthy of a post, let’s call it a Mother’s Day post, in part because she’s got daddy issues from her mommy having illegitimate babies during her ample sex partner years, but also because her mom is Heidi Klum who we’ve all wanted to play German sex dungeon with since she surfaced as what we could only assume as a Nazi eugenics program gone right, so the whole wanting to fuck the mom made better by wanting to fuck the daughter at the same time, bother literally and figuratively, while totally settling for just latching on the daughter’s tits whilst saying “momma” since they are bigger than your head and on such a tiny frame.

This has been a very long sentence.

Posted in:Leni Klum

2023

15

May

Denise Richards Still Brings the Cake of the Day

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It is Mother’s Day so this goes out to all the mom’s out there, including but not limited to Denise Richards…a MOM of three who is seemingly too rich to be doing this kind of exclusive content hustle, yet she’s doing the exclusive content hustle.

Like I always say about OnlyFans, I always thought the world worked in a specific way, that things went in one direction, yet it turns out that I was wrong, so there are old, rich, nasty, fat, ugly, has-beens, attention seekers, pretty much ANY and all women are able to recruit subscribers for a cheap monthly fee…people pay even for those I’d think wouldn’t get anyone to pay.

Now someone like Denise Richards, even in menopause, living a horny life she probably already lived, could obviously score enough dudes to justify humiliating herself, and really she’s not as gross as she could be at her age, it’s just more weird and creepy than anything.

I wonder if it has to do with her husband or ex-husband porn addiction, the normalizing of porn, that whole thing, where she’s always wanted to basically be a “sex worker” because she probably was one, but didn’t get the recognition for it….

Or maybe this is how you spice up your life as an exhibitionist at any age, but knowing it’s not getting any better, this is the BEST she will be for the rest of her life, as she slowly decays, if not now then when this shit….

I am all for Denise Richards doing softcore porn, I’m a massive fan, I am just shocked we are HERE today even having this conversation alone, to a screen, via a blog post, THE way conversations are meant to be.

Now show us more SKIN WALLET! It’s Mother’s Day!

Posted in:Denise Richards

2023

15

May

Milf Monday of the Day

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MOTHER’s Day Continues, we actually celebrate it here every Monday with MILFS and lactating tits….because motherhood is the WHOLE point of life therefore, we should sexualize it.

MILFs who produce erotica on the internet are either married and miserable, or married and looking for excitement, which their husbands support because they’d rather have other dudes pay to jerk off to their tired pussy than being the only one, plus the idea of men lusting over your tired pussy may be inspiring to make you want to jerk off to your tired pussy by seeing her in new light…..

Or they are single moms looking for extra money to support their existence, ideally in a professional job or working at schools, so that their story goes viral and they get more subscribers, it happens often enough…which means that single moms are still desperate to show their kids how to fail at life, but also for men to validate them knowing that they have failed in the traditional sense of the whole family planning and are now forced to raise fucked up kids from single homes….which they apparently say come out better, but I’d argue that’s just propaganda to get more hopeless people posting nudes online for the dream!

Either way, I’m into watching as it unfolds….this modern LEAVE IT TO BEAVER suburban family life is WILD….

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY….to all the single mothers who used to be desperate enough to let me play with their tits, but who now probably monetize said tits to a ridiculous level of financial gains….

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Posted in:Milf

2023

15

May

Kate Bosworth Posts Butt Covered in Sand Picture of the Day

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There was a viral story that came out last week, which I didn’t bother posting because I have written Kate Bosworth off since realizing she was fucking Justin Long….they’re now married and expecting three babies via surrogate I imagine….

Basically, ROXY put together a BLUE CRUSH inspired revival collection of the early 2000s and they cast BLUE CRUSE star Kate Bosworth who I don’t even remember finding hot in that movie, because I don’t even know whether I’ve seen the movie or not, which is so weird since I’m a surf girl pervert….right….

She’s just been a tall, skinny blonde chick who deserved a better career and now who deserves a better cock, that may actually be a magical cock, not that I want to think about Justin Long’s cock, but the fact that he exists must be due to something, like being gay for pay or fucking old rich lady decision makers who inherited their husband’s film studios, I don’t get it….

The good news is that Kate Bosworth posted a close up picture of her now middle-aged but still hot ass…

The bad news is that Justin Long was quick to hop in the comments and make it about him, reminding us that he fucks her, and ruining Kate Bosworth for any sensible man out there…

For the record, I am not a nerd weirdo who gets mad at these women when they get boyfriends or get mad at the boyfriends for getting the girls, there are just a few things a woman can insert in themselves that make me question them on the whole….HOLE…and JUSTIN LONG is one of those things.

His comment read (note pic #2 is the ass shot).

I wish you’d given me credit for painstakingly applying each grain of sand to pic #2

My initial thoughts were…I wish he died on set of the first Mac Guy / Windows Guy commercial so that we didn’t have to experience what has become of him.

Then I realized that we just want happiness for Kate Bosworth and her great middle aged ass and if Justin Long brings it, maybe he could stay off her comments, her feed and act like he doesn’t exist so that we can block out the trauma it has caused…..

No….I still wish he died on set of the first Mac Guy / Windows guy commercial….

Here are her tits in a movie to make this better…

Posted in:Uncategorized

2023

15

May

Medical Worker Monday of the Day

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With all the SCRUBS erotica, you have to wonder just how right you were when you assumed that nurses went into the 3 year nursing school in order to be the hottest scrub wearing bitch on the hospital floor, so that at least one 60 year old doctor who was unhappy in his boring marriage to his wife who helped him through medical school so he’s felt compelled to stick with her, before realizing his own mortality coupled with his pile money, in a “maybe it’s time to start living” and the first step to living is fucking the hot stripper looking nurse in scrubs on that late shift…

It makes you wonder just how many of these doctors and nurses are actually fucking in their downtime at the Hospital…between their high stress surgeries, and how badly the girl wants to get knocked up from the experience to solidify her nursing school investment….

There’s just a lot of NURSES doing SCRUB erotica that makes me wonder how many more porn scenes go down on the job without being documented or uploaded to social media, porn sites, or ONLYFANS…

IT almost makes you want to go to Med School to be that 60 year old these bitches want to fuck out of their existing marriages…..

Here’s some medical workers while I look up pre-requisites to becoming a doctor….or at least ways to pretend I am a doctor to scam the pussy looking for doctor cock because it comes with doctor WALLET…

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Posted in:NURSES

2023

15

May

Irina Shayk Bikini Models of the Day

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Irina Shayk’s in this bikini photoshoot that I am going to assume is recent because why the fuck wouldn’t it be. In an era of constant stream of smut there’s no going back in time to reflect on smut that once was. This is not a Dickens novel on SMUT where the GHOST of SMUT past comes to haunt us and show us what our life was, to ground us….

That’s for old pics of nudes from various women who have sent us nudes over the decades, or if we’re lucky, that we’ve taken during the years we had sex, because it’s nostalgia we can relive, it was OUR life experience..

Not for the people of the internet who we don’t know, who we never fucked and who make lucrative livings being hot and half naked, at least not while they are still marketable as hot chicks, for the now old, rotten or dead, you can jerk off to the archive…

Irina’s still go it and is categorized as one of the ones who need to keep the steady stream coming like a diabetic who drank a big gulp and forgot his meds…and this is it that she’s got..

It’s good enough for rich guy’s to knock-up, because it’s top tier, so it’s good enough for us to stare at for a minute or two, you know for Mother’s Day and a reminder that NOT all mother’s rot, especially when they are Russian spies who rely on their looks for intel….

Posted in:Irina Shayk