DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

04

Feb

Ashley Graham’s Plus Sized Bikini Model for Sports Illustrated Ad of the Day

This isn’t a Sports Illustrated produced video. It is an ad placed on Sports Illustrated, that I am sure Sports Illustrated was responsible for due to the press it will get…without it going against everything they stand for…

Look at Sports Illustrated getting paid to be inclusive, even though they’ve been featuring plus sized models for a very long time, from Kate Upton to other awkwardly shaped girls, but I guess this one takes the prize, for being the most plus sized, as America gets fatter and fatter, this becomes the norm, and politically, they have to play this shit up like they are endorsing full figures, even though I’m sure they are mocking it for a viral video to generate buzz, in fact their creative directors are probably the first people to call a model fat…before using them for their marketing play..

So…it goes like this…pay SI 100k to be in their mag…get a video produced…let Sports Illustrated get all the press….Genius.

Posted in:Ashley Graham

2015

04

Feb

Doutzen Kroes for WSJ of the Day

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This just goes to show you, that if you take a picture of a professional model, she can make it look good, especially if you’re a good photographer, who gets hired to take pictures of celebrities and models, and gets paid a lot of fucking money…

I mean the reality of the whole thing is that this is her job, so if she looked shitty, like babies she has made with her celeb DJ, she probably wpuldn’t be a model married to a celeb DJ….but more of a regular girl who does regular things…like not pose like an asshole for pictures…of nonsense that mean nothing and serve no purpose…other than to sell product, or maybe to make give ugly girls something to make them feel shitty about themselves…who fucking cares…

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes

2015

04

Feb

Emily Ratakowski in Some Lingerie Video of the Day

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Emily Ratakowski made a Valentines Day video, she probably got paid a lot, and her 5 minutes of fame have being a solid year and a half of fame, and in that year and a half of fame, she’s made a ton of fucking money….and may even be in a position to retire a much richer person than she would have been if she continued doing the free shoots….and the lesson here is that you don’t need to be tall, you don’t need to be a model, you don’t even need to be hot…to be famous for your tits…you just need a little marketing and a Pharell viral video and song to really solidify you exist…but like anything it fades out…what’s the expression “this too shall pass”…something I like to say in reference of my herpes outbreaks…but that I guess that can be applied to the herpes outbreak that is EMRATATATATA……

Posted in:Emily Ratakowski

2015

04

Feb

Selena Gomez Erotica of the Day

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A video posted by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) on Feb 4, 2015 at 12:35pm PST

I didn’t listen to this shit, because it looks awful, miserable, annoying as fuck…but I did see the part where she basically looks like she’s swallowing a Justin Bieber load….with disgust, while trying to be sexy, as most load swallowing goes…you see it takes a very amazing girl to actually love cum…they all say they do…but they don’t mean it…it’s like how they all say they give good blowjobs…when really they can’t all give good blowjobs…they just take dudes who they are sucking off saying “that’s amazing, because my dick is in a mouth” to fucking heart…instead of working on their craft…

Not that that has anything to do with this Selena Gomez instagram porn….or maybe it has everything to do with this Selena Gomez porn…

Another 'guess this song'… And I promise I'm done because now I'm actually working. Not making videos.

A video posted by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) on Feb 4, 2015 at 12:52pm PST

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2015

04

Feb

Gigi Hadid’s Seafolly Campaign of the DAy

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Gigi Hadid is America’s favorite Arab…who the Muslim world probably frowns upon….because she poses half naked…instead of practices the rules of their religion. You know one who got away, making you think that maybe under the sheets live some serious fucking babes, but your racist ass probably attributes to her white mom…

All this to say, rich girl who can do anything she wants…anytime she wants decides to do this..

Posted in:Gigi Hadid

2015

04

Feb

Katherine Heigl in her Bra and Panties of the Day

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Katherine Heigl is a bit of a monster, who I would expect to see in underwear bottoms like this, even if it is for a movie…the idea of her in something sexy, would just be confusing…because despite her big tits…she’s a bit of a man, or at least has the sex appeal of a man..and the fact that she had her kid out of wedlock, to be a single mom, makes me think..she may like being the man….and I guess woman..because she doesn’t need no man…to get in the way of her life…the whole thing is so slutty!!

I’ve always found her pretty sloppy…but sloppy girls get love all the time…so here are the screenshots from whtaever the fuck this is…either a movie, or tv show…because you know at home, she only wears the strap on…

Posted in:Katherine Heigl

2015

04

Feb

Alicia Silverstone Hard Nipples of the Day

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Alicia Silverstone is pretty old now, but when she was “relevant”, she was one of those actresses that I didn’t understand all the hype around. She had a bit of a wonky face and I just couldn’t get down with it…if anything the only thing I liked that she’s ever done was a few years ago, when she fed her baby like a bird feeds its babies…pre-chewed…that shit was up on some porno fetish shit…

Well, apparently she’s got hard nipples, which in case you didn’t know, is all a girl really needs to be doing to seem like she’s keeping busy…to a pervert like me who doesn’t watch TV or really bother using google, I’m too busy sexting for that.

Posted in:Alicia Silverstone

2015

04

Feb

Emma Watson Sex Scene in Regression of the Day

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Emma Watson was in a movie called Regression that I assume all of the Emma Watson fans, who are some of the creepiest of creepy dudes, very into the whole Harry Potter thing, watching her grow up before their eyes, while falling in absolute love with her, despite her being 14…

Well this is apparently her sex scene in the movie where she’s fucking her dad…not her real dad…but I could be wrong, I don’t care about these things..

Posted in:Emma Watson|SFW

2015

04

Feb

Miceala Schaefer Naked With Bears of the DAy

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So apparently, Micaela Schaefer, doesn’t miss any opportunity to have a German based publicity stunt, because I guess she’s a brand ambassador for Germany, and a lot better than their brand ambassador in the 40s..

I don’t know what this Bear event is, but it seems to have less HIV than Bear events I am used to…..

I like that she’s a naked, stripper looking girl with big dreams, big tits, and is taking it upon herself to make those dreams happen, even if I have no idea what those dreams are, other than being naked in public…it looks like she made it….

I just wonder how she made a business out of this, I assume hooking…because that’s how I function….and what it comes down to is that at least she does this…it may not take much…but at least it happened…she’s sent from heaven..a very basic, willing to get naked for attention heaven….that all girls should come from…

Posted in:Micaela Schaefer

2015

04

Feb

Luci Ford in a White Bikini of the Day

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Luci Ford , is as far as I’m concerned, the next big thing….

She’s been doing all kinds of shoots, she’s awesome on snapchat, and she’s hot as fuck…or at least hot enough for me to post any pics I see of her, in hopes that she sees them and finds my love poems in the form of slanderous posts on people, is endearing and that she just can’t get enough of it, ending in a double wedding, a bunch of babies…and forever happiness…after we meet in Canada for a shoot, and end up getting stranded in a snowstorm ,forced to kill off my wife and use her fat as fuel for the fire…you know a traumatic experience that you can only fall in forever love with the person you experience it with…kind like cast members on Survivor, since no one else knows their struggle…

Either way, Luci Ford…

Posted in:Luci Ford