DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

23

Jan

Cara Delevingne for Tag Heurer of the Day

I know that Tag isn’t really the highest end watch. They do some midrange mall level watch, so seeing Cara Delevingne attached to it, isn’t as offensive as if this was a Rolex Ad, because it would clearly be Rolex trying to rich some rich socialite who hangs with celebrities crowd, instead of using someone aspirational, that would make me want to work hard so that I could afford a Rolex….or maybe Cara Delevingne is an “It” girl now because she is apsirpational…maybe the younger audience thing having a trust fund and celebrity friends is what life is about…you know vapid whores everywhere…going to modeling shoots and fancy parties….and having the media love everything you do because you have a bit of a different look since you’re not a natural born model…and the right friends……and I guess…that’s probably what this is all about…attach to something popular, pay it well, and maybe become popular too…it’s basically her whole marketing campaign she used on herself…and it worked…applied to watches…too bad she doesn’t look hot in it…

TO SEE HER AT THE CAMPAIGN LAUNCH WITH A BABY WILD ANIMAL CLICK HERE

Posted in:Cara Delevingne

2015

23

Jan

Fergie for Allure of the Day

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Fergie defied all odds when she had kids….because we all throught she was born with man parts. That’s what her muscle tone and hard face told us….a hard face she claims was from meth after being a forgotten one hit wonder….before Black Eyed Peas created the new version of her…

Well now she’s in Allure, where she’s probably not talking about sex changes, or sucking dick for a hit, but rather being a mom with so much money her kids and their kids and their kids after than don’t have to worry…all thanks to a bunch of shitty, insincere popsongs…because that’s just how the entertainment industry works…and you can’t hate her for being better at monetizing her life than all the hotter more talented girls out there…

Posted in:Fergie

2015

23

Jan

Julia Lescova by Kesler Tran of the Day

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Every once in a while, it is important to stop looking at shitty twitter and instagram pics, and shitty magazine photoshoot pics, of shitty low level models, or girls who think they are models, to focus on actual models, like JULIA LESCOVA show by an actual photographer who takes amazing fucking pics, I mean look at these KESLER TRAN ….for what I assume is TREATS …..

Seriously, this is HOT….

Posted in:Julia Lescova

2015

23

Jan

Rita Ora for L’Officiel Paris of the Day

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Rita Ora is in this issue of L’Officiel and the pictures are so fucking boring. It’s like they don’t realize that up until this year, she was this UK starlet trying to make it in America as the next Rihanna, before finally finding a hit and getting where she wanted to go…you know someone who was desperate and willing to do anything to get where she needed to be….who is now where she needed to be…and not willing to do anything worth looking at…..because L’Officiel generally have good photoshoots, sometimes the kind of fashion shoot you can masturbate to…and instead of going down that road with the ratchet…they come up with this…and it’s a fail….but then again…I guess it is fitting…because most of Rita Ora’s life has involved her failing…look at her now…or don’t bother..it’s not very exciting.

Posted in:Rita Ora

2015

23

Jan

Sarah Hyland Freaks me Out of the Day

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Sarah Hyland freaks me the fuck out…

She’s like some weird genetically modified troll who stopped growing at 12 because her stage mom took stage mom-ing very seriously, and knew the younger she looked, the easier it would be to get her cast on some show that doesn’t have a timeline, you know where no one ages, and she just stays this weird pre-pubescent freak…a weird pre-pubescent freak who wears push-up bras and shows off her tits like Sofia Vergara told her to…

The whole thing…weird…but what’s weirder are the die hard fans of hers who you know jerk off to her because she looks 12…yes, I’m talking to you.

TO SEE THE REST OF SARAH HYLAND
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Sarah Hyland

2015

23

Jan

Josephine Skriver in a Bikini of the Day

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Josephine Skriver is a model…who works for the people at Victoria’s Secret, which to mainstream men everywhere is the making it to the top…it’s up there with Sports Illustrated, who are rumored to be using Kim Kardashian like Paper did, and putting her on the cover, which makes sense because she’s fat, and thanks to Kate Upton, the Sports Illustrated reader is used to fat chicks, and while giving Kim press, it also makes her deslusional fake mom ass ego that she’s a bikini model now….reminding us that the world is fucked….

But Josephine Skriver isn’t fucked, I just wish she was, by me, my mouth, maybe my fingers…because she’s fucking amazing…so amazing I almost feel bad I am tainting her post with Kim Kardashian in a bikini that may be from her Sports Illustrated shoot…

Posted in:Josephine Skriver

2015

23

Jan

Lauren Pope in a See Through Dress of the Day

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View image | gettyimages.com

Her name is Lauren Pope. She’s some UK reality star nobody…but she went to an event in a see through dress, which as far as I’m concerned makes her a somebody…I just don’t understand when a girl like this goes this far to get noticed, you know she knows her dress is see through, why the hell would she throw on a pair of nipple pasties…it’s like own your publicity stunt…give your 100 percent with it…pasties are not as fun as nipples…even if those nipples are scarred up messes from all the surgeries…

Maybe this was from the day Page 3 didn’t post a topless girl for a publicity stunt…you know the darkest day in UK history…the day the nipple was covered….

Maybe it wasn’t….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE BRITISH TRASHY WOMEN AT SOME EVENT
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lauren Pope

2015

23

Jan

Alyssa Miller for Free People Lingerie of the Day

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Here’s old, washed up, dumpy, never really quite made it, model named Alyssa Miller, who you may remember from Sports Illustrated Swimsuit a bunch of years ago, that she secured by fucking one of the photographers….before cheating on him with Jake Gyllenhaal, because when you are a whore, you do self serving whore things, that lead to a better whore life, and when an A-Lister, despite being a cunt like Gyllenhaal comes a knocking, you got to throw in any morals or values you may pretend you have a go for it…

Now if you read this site, you’ll know I hate Gyllenhaal, I’ve had a fight with him and I’ve seen him first hand, face to face, and know one thing…and that is any girl who is with him, is with him because he’s Jake Gyllenhaal famous guy, and you put up with his shit, because it’s worth the press….

Either way, here’s her nonsense.

Posted in:Alyssa Miller

2015

23

Jan

Carmen Electra’s Beach Shoot of the Day

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Carmen Electra defies gravity…space and time…age….and dignity…by being shameless and still willing to get on the beach, all BOTOXED, because I guess she needs to make money, but more importantly, she needs to be made to feel like she’s still pretty, because that validation is all she’s ever known…and the fact is, I kind of like the real housewife, porn looking old lady still holding on vibe…because despite the weathered vagina, the broken soul under the leathery skin, brings me happiness…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Carmen Electra

2015

23

Jan

stepGIRLS in the Hot Tub with Billie Jane of the Day

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You may or may not know what stepGIRLS is….but it’s a movement…that celebrates confident and amazing women who don’t mind having a good time while photographers we link up with take pics of them…

It’s a lifestyle…an amazing lifestyle…and it’s all part of the DrunkenStepfather.com family, which makes the whole thing even better…because I like girls who like to have fun, and who look good when having fun, and who aren’t being exploited by evil pornographers, or other people promising their vulnerable, want to be famous, down on their luck asses fame…it’s something so many girls who want to make it deal with…because people are full of shit, but we’re against that…we just like having fun with pretty girls…

So today’s pretty girl that stepGIRLS got into the hot tub with is named BILLIE JANE and she’s shot by our friend Karel Chladek ….and she’s pretty amazing….in this romantic, flower pedal in the hot tub, shoot…

Posted in:Karel Chladek|stepGIRLS