DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

10

Dec

Shay Mitchell Wins at Instagram of the Day

Shay Mitchell is hugely famous in the circle she runs in…which happens to be a circle the mainstream doesn’t really give a fuck about or notice…

So she’s doing what she’s supposed to do to get noticed…and that is take advantage of her hot body and all the access her lifestyle offers…thanks to being on some hit show…and put that shit out there…so that motherfuckers like me can discover her…amongst all the noise…and fall in love with her – because we don’t know her and haven’t heard the stupidity shat out of her mouth….and I figure 98 percent of actresses aren’t hot…so we should embrace and celebrate the ones who are…but only when they are posting self produced half naked erotica – like this…

Posted in:Shay Mitchell

2014

10

Dec

Kim Kardashian’s Fat Ass in Elle Magazine of the Day

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The one thing that blows my mind about interracial pornstar Kim Kardashian….is that we haven’t taken her out back and shot her…in what no one would get arrested for…since it would be up there on a humanitarian level next to curing cancer…

She’s the fucking worst, yet we keep her and her plastic face, ass, everything….alive…well into its 30s.

It’s all our fucking fault…and here she is winning at life, shitting on Society…for Elle Magazine…

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2014

10

Dec

Toni Garrn Does GQ Magazine of the Day

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Toni Garrn is probably best known as being one of Leonardo DiCaprio’s hookers, who aren’t hookers, but who might as well be hookers, since modeling and hooking are essentially the same fucking job, not to mention, when involved with Leonardo like so many models before her, you know she’s just on a job, part of the program…but I’m sure on her end of the story, they had a connection, they were in love, and she was not going to discriminate him for being Leo, she wanted to give him a shot while knowing his sorted past…that’s how sugar babies rationalize what they do…I mean that and “I would have fucked him for free, but I might as well get paid”…hooker.

That said, she was at the same parties as me in Miami, I didn’t notice her, or see her, but I am sure she’s lovely, and amazing…I mean she’s a tall German model who looks like this, how could she not be amazing…just a little misguided…and forced into this life…filled with broken dreams and the sads as Leo leaves club with 20 girls…who weren’t Toni Garrn….

Either way, all these people are fucking excessive and disgusting overpaid idiots in the dumbest circle ever…fuck them all…and let me watch.

Posted in:Toni Garrn

2014

10

Dec

Dioni Tabbers for Andrew Kuykendall Polaroids of the Day

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Dioni Tabbers is a fucking babe…

She has DIONI SOME MODELING ….

Some may call her low hanging fruit, or insignificant…but I call her perfect, even an up-and-coming star…because she produces or participates in shoots, like this one for my friend Andrew…showing of her hot tits…like some kind of pornstar, who is not a pornstar at all, but rather, a fashion star on the fucking rise…

She deserves it as much as any of these girls…I wish she deserved me and my love all 3.5 inches inside her, but no one deserves that garbage…not even my worst enemy…

ALl this to say, I’m in love, and all I want for Christmas…is this Christmas Miracle…happening before our very eyes….right here, right now..

Posted in:Dioni Tabbers

2014

10

Dec

Suki Waterhouse Christmas Twerk of the Day

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Suki Waterhouse is Brad Cooper’s sugar baby, who I assume might have been a mdoel for a minute or less, you know at least long enough or positioned strongly enough to lure in what I assume is an A-Lister actor in high demand…like Brad Cooper…and lock him into her pussy…with all her fun, model ways…that probably involve threesomes, an understanding that guys cheat, just don’t leave her she needs to press, money and association to stay relevant…

Luckily, The Love Magazine let’s anyone into their Advent Calendar Christmas feature that I love…

So here she is dancing for Jesus’ birth…like a good half naked Christian…

Posted in:Suki Waterhouse

2014

10

Dec

Nadja Bender for Twin Magazine of the Day

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Nadja Bender is some Danish model, I think, I mean I don’t fucking know, I just googled her and got bored…

She’s already modelled nude, which is probably why she’s in this magazine modelling nude to being with…not that modelling nude is really that impressive, everyone is doing it…but just because everyone is doing it, doesn’t change the fact that I’d like to go on a bender eating her pussy like it was a drug…stuffing my face with it til she squirted so hard there was nothing left, still unwilling to stop…swollen dehydrated tongue…sore throat …just self destructing on her pussy…until no longer healthy, even though I don’t think any model pussy is healthy, they’ve done some shit with photographers to get to this point, but I still want eating her pussy to be considered a problem I needed to go to rehab for…because she’s just that good…

Posted in:Nadja Bender

2014

10

Dec

Anna Ewers for Alexander Wang of the Day

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Anna Ewers Rhymes with Sewers is the star of what I think is the best fashion campaign ever shot – for Alexander Wang.

This is like what Calvin Klein did for jeans in the 90s, with Kate Moss, looking like she was on heroin after getting fucked…only modern, updated and pornographic…

I mean she’s a fashion model, who I love, grabbing her naked pussy for jeans…amazing…

Sure it doesn’t make me want to buy a pair, but it does make me want to sniff a pair, and sometimes, sniffing is all we need.

Posted in:Anna Ewers

2014

10

Dec

Barbara Palvin by Terry Richardson for Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

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These are the most boring pictures ever shot by Terry Richardson…proving that when you get accused of rape enough times, eventually you lose your sleazy edge, because you want to stay as corporate friendly as possible, since the stupid 10 million dollar a year salary you now have, is addictive as fuck…

The model is Barbara Palvin. She may or may not have had sex with Bieber…but I think that was a front, and that she actually has sex with black dudes, like she was a Kardashian…just not in these pics.

Posted in:Barbara Palvin

2014

10

Dec

Amanda Seyfried in the Most Boring Music Video Ever of the Day

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I have always thought that Amanda Seyfried is one of the hottest actresses in the business. She’s skinny, blonde, and has big tits…that she’s willing to show off in some of the movies she does…

But she’s so fucking boring…it’s like a waste of a potentially hot pussy…

But what’s a bigger waste of a potentially hot pussy is Justin Long…inside said pussy…because they are dating…

I assume he took Apple stocks when he did their ad campaign and is now a billionaire from it…or maybe he has a massive penis girls get addicted to…or maybe, just maybe, Amanda Seyfried sucks, has no idea what’s up…despite the potential her exterior has…because it’s the insides that count…especially when they are dripping down her leg..

That said, here she is in a Music video I didn’t watch.

Posted in:Amanda Seyfried

2014

10

Dec

Pregnant and Naked Nicole Trunfio for Fashion of the Day

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Her name is Nicole Trunfio is kind of amazing.

She’s some Australian trash, because everyone from Australia is trash, who moved to America to model and who never really made much more than a few topless photoshoots…taht were great because her tits are great…

She was a Sports Illustrated of Victoria’s Secret model who never was….but she positioned herself to get noticed enough to get work back home…

And now she’s knocked up with an American Black baby…with some rockstar…and the whole thing is tolerable because she still poses naked…even when ready to drop…a look I only get down with if I just meet the girl and know it is not mine, because I know if I fuck her, there’s little risk of AIDS, or another pregnancy…which works for me..

Posted in:Nicole Trunfio