DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

12

Nov

Alyssa Barbara by Kingston Photo of the Day

Her name is ALYSSA BARBARA. She is from Canada. I am from Canada. That’s enough of a reason to want to get her pregnant, you know to keep the passports consistent, because only Canadians really understand the importance of the Queen, Maple Syrup and Tim Hortons….and igloos…other cultures just wouldn’t get it.

That said, she has some of the most outrageous breasts I’ve ever seen, on an amazing body, making me wonder, why I haven’t hidden in a tree outside her apartment to watch her live…you know like I do with all the girls I follow home from the bar that I LIKE…right.

Photos by KINGSTON PHOTO

Posted in:Alyssa Barbara

2014

12

Nov

Kylie Monogue in her Underwear BTS of the Day

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Kylie Minogue was in her underwear despite being 100 years old, and the crazy thing in all this is that she looks better than most 20 year olds, I guess cancer surviving makes you some kind of hot as fuck superhero…and the real weird thing in all this is that as an Australian, she’s not quite leathery or white trash enough, I guess that’s what fame and fortune does to you…it preserves you enough for me to want to masturbate to you…if only my penis still worked…

Posted in:Kylie Minogue

2014

12

Nov

Victoria’s Secret Holiday Campaign of the Day

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Christmas is the only time of year that really matters for Victoria’s Secret. 90 percent of their revenue happens now and that’s why they hustle the media, infomercials they present as a media event, when it is all just a scam, or noise, that doesn’t matter and most importantly, isn’t even a nice gift, no matter what trailer park Victoria’s Secret is deemed a considerate gift…and I guess I’m just bored of half naked girls getting paid millions. I prefer half naked girls getting naked for free…

Alessandra Ambrosio’s VS Fashion Show Fitting of the Day

Posted in:Victoria's Secret

2014

12

Nov

January Jones Possible Naked When Pregnant Nudes of the Day

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I am not going to go through any January Jones archives, because I really don’t care about January Jones, I don’t even know what she has been in or what she has done, I just know she’s like a Bootleg Katherine Heigl, which is a pretty depressing place to be, and that she’s got some billionaire producer’s kid, but no one will ever know that, except maybe his accountant, when they cut the 20,000 dollar a month checks to her….and I guess this was her pre single mom – of a hollywood brat – back when her uterus screamed “I fuck people I don’t date without condoms”…and if that’s not hot to you – I don’t know what is.

Posted in:January Jones

2014

12

Nov

Nina Agdal’s Modeling Lingerie of the Day

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Nina Agdal is wearing lingerie for some catalog pics that are boring as fuck, but at least they photoshopped out her nipples, I mean we’d hate for a lingerie company to be inappropriate by showing off the true products they are selling, it’s like erase her nipples, even though the bra shows nipples, because this is America, we are Christian, our money talks about GOD we TRUST and GOD doesn’t like nipples, even though according the Christians, he fucking made them…

It’s all very fucking stupid, which is convenient – since Nina Agdal looks like she is half retard.

Posted in:Nina Agdal

2014

12

Nov

Lily Aldridge is Spread Legged for S Moda of the Day

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Lily Aldridge is part of the Victoria’s Secret Mafia, who are out there promoting the whole Victoria’s Secret Fashion show, where they probably make something like 90 percent of their yearly revenue, so they take it very fucking seriously, and we are currently in the period of the build up, where they PR teams get mainstream press, trying to push their angels, I get it. America is dumb, infomercials on network television work if they feature half naked girls…getting everyone excited about janky shit quality sweatshop clothes…available in every mall in America…

She’s also spreading her legs in a pantsuit, like she was Hillary Clinton if Hilary Clinton wasn’t a lesbian, and if this was Hustler magazine in the 70s, it’d be porn, but today, it’s just boring…because Lily is boring….

Posted in:Lily Aldridge

2014

12

Nov

Ellie-Jean Coffey Surfer Tits of the Day

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Ellie-Jean Coffey is surfer, but unlike all the skinny round ass surfers with fit bodies, she’s packing heat in her heat, up on some Kate Upton shit, all busty and shapely, and sweet as the sugar she probably likes to eat, and I’m not complaining, because with big tits, comes big tit selfie pics, whether in seat belt or not, and tits are always exciting, especially when you know those tits can rip on the waves…and spend their life in a bikini

I guess what I am saying is that, she’s a pro athlete – reminding us why her sport is the only sport worth masturbating to…

Posted in:Ellie-Jean Coffey

2014

12

Nov

Topless Hipster of the Day

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Her name is GWEN. His name is Stefan Kolesnikowicz. Together – they took topless photos on film, because that is what people are doing these days to try to differentiate themselves from digital photographers – because camera technology allows everyone to be a photographer now – and instagram proves daily that it doesn’t take much to get likes – no skill or really anything…

So try to be different, try to learn film, try to take good pics, try to get them developed, try to scan them and try to distrubute them, and have them look exactly like a digital print – because the second you scan them – they become a digital print…making for a lot of trying – hard trying – try hard…

But at least it gets girls topless..

Posted in:Photos

2014

12

Nov

Girl Who Needed to Go Bad and Other Videos of the Day

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Singer Gone Wild

Chainsaw Thief

Waitress Who Gets her Head Stuck

Weirdos of San Francisco

Aerosol VS Fire

Man Saves Kitten from Traffic

Drunk Crashes into Police Station

Telephone Pole Saves the Lives of 3

Twerk Girl Hustle…

Posted in:Videos

2014

12

Nov

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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When asking a girl if she’s a prostitute – or how much she charges for sex – you should make sure it isn’t at a day spa your wife bought you a groupon for, because not all hot tubs, saunas and steam rooms are designed for rub and tugs, and they will ask you to leave, even if you didn’t take full advantage of your 2 for 1 90% off deal…

I guess they aren’t aware that we are all prostitutes…

Here are some stepLINKS…in the Morning…

Jenny McCarthy’s Got Herself a Reality Show
GO

Drunk Girl – Gets Propositioned – when Asking for Help – Because Drunk Girls are Easy
GO

Britney Spears – New Love
GO

Princess Leia Street Harassment
GO

Jennifer Akerman Topless
GO

Animals Rockin’ Beards
GO

Bon Jovi is Old as Fuck
GO

Girls in Tight Dresses
GO

Kim Kardashian’s Kid is Trying to Escape
GO

Conan’s Attempt to Be Sons of Anarchy
GO

15 Dumb People
GO

Beyonce Woke Up and Used Photoshop Like This.
GO

Robert Pattison’s Mohawk
GO

17 Signs it is Time To Turn Around
GO

Stephen Colbert Breaks Character
GO

The Bill Cosby Meme Generator Went Well
GO

Candice Swanepoel in Lingerie
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS