DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

21

Aug

Lindsay Lohan is a Stepmother of the Day

Lindsay Lohan posted this video of her playing with a bunch of kids, looking like she’s in her late 40s, all medicated after downing a bottle of booze and a pack of smokes, only to play with the kids that didn’t crawl out of her uterus, like the little dolls they look like in her distorted world…puppets she can groom and whore to the industry…

It turns out that her “family time”…involves an investment banker who she lives with, and his two kids, because she’s allowed to find happiness, everyone deserves happiness as long as it’s rich enough to support her habits…

I don’t find a girl being a mom, whether insane or capable or not, very hot…but it is sure as hell better that she fucks with other kids than have her own, not that her dried up uterus can have kids, it is probably hasn’t had a period since Herbie Fully loaded…

I just like celebrating other stepPARENTS…me an Lohan we are so the same…twinsies….motherfuckers…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2014

21

Aug

Genevieve Morton Wearing a Kate Upton Bra of the Day

No Comments »

Shots have been fired.

She’s throwing shade at Kate Upton by wearing Kate Upton’s picture on her tits like Kate Upton was her bra.

This is the fat bikini model rivalry, it’s the “you’re the below me, I wear your pig ass on me because I own you”…equivalent of shitting on a pic of the model she so wants to be, but a little more classy, because her shit, at least based on her dumpy body due to eating, would be very very very large…all that eating….

Or maybe Genevieve Morton just likes bacon…I mean she looks like she likes bacon..lots and lots and lots of bacon…or maybe she’s jumping on that whole bacon thing that was big two years ago is only happening in South Africa now, they are behind on things because they are too busy trying to hide slavery…

You know she’s studied everything Kate Upton did to be famous, and feels like it should be her, so you know…this is her attempt and winning as the big girl model in Sports Illustrated…It’s a little bit sad and a little bit entertaining…even if everything about her, even her tits, are uneventful…fat and boring…according to me and I am a professional at these things..

Posted in:Genevieve Morton

2014

21

Aug

Maria by Sergey Korolkov for Treats of the Day

No Comments »

The model’s name is Maria, you’ve never heard of her, but now you’ve seen her totally naked for TREATS MAGAZINE …in black and white, because black and white pictures make it art and not soft core porn – duh.

It’s the best scam to get any girls who would never get naked – naked. It’s like “no baby, it’s black and white, if it was porn, it’d be full color…obvs”…

No girl wants to turn down art, for fear of being seen as an ignorant asshole, even when we all know anyone who pretends to be an artist, or is an artist and acknowledges is the real asshole…

But the kind of asshole I like, because of one very important reason…hot babes mixed with a bit of nakedness….

Posted in:Treats

2014

21

Aug

Iggy Azalea is Feeding Her Ass at Mr Chow’s of the Day

No Comments »

There are debates that Iggy’s ass is fake, because her waist is so well trained. Giving her an abnormal waist to hip ratio, but I assume that she’s just into feeding it, like it is a creature of it’s own, probably because it is one, that is responsible for her career.

I just know that there is such thing as too big, too dumpy, and not so interesting…because I am not black and into that…but I guess when a fat girls figures out how to make it work for her, we should encourage her, even though I think it’s bad for the youth to have big girl idols…it makes them think it is okay to be fat and science tells us another story…one we should listen to, since it’s better to jerk off to.

To See the Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Iggy Azalea

2014

21

Aug

Vanessa Hudgen’s Lookin’ Hot in Flaunt of the Day

No Comments »

Here’s a preview of Vanessa Hudgens for Flaunt Magazine…that doesn’t look anything like Vanessa Hudgens. Maybe I just view her as this chubby, hairy, little monkey…who despite being cute, has no real sex appeal. Like she leaked nude pics from when she was 17, and no one really cared, except her legal team, because she has no sex appeal. They were the kind of nudes you were like “oh that’s just a hairy naked girl, whatever”….you know the kind of pic that made you understand how a doctor doesn’t get hard when girls get naked in his office…you know…non-sexual nudity…which sucks…but looks like she’s turning that around, at least in this one pic.

Posted in:Vanessa Hudgens

2014

21

Aug

Raquel Zimmermann Topless for Vogue Paris of the Day

No Comments »

Raquel Zimmermann is a model who I generally think looks like a monster…but when she’s topless for Vogue…she’s pretty lovely…which means that if you take a big, broad woman who is proportionate, make her up, light her, hire the best photogs and get her naked…she’s good.

Maybe I just like that Vogue are softcore Pornographers, like Penthouse or Hustler in the 70s, only their Editor’s not getting shot like Larry Flynt did for Hustler…

I just think it’s funny that porn influenced fashion….paved the fucking way…reminding us all that it’s ok to be sleazy…someone will rip you off and monetize it better than you eventually.

Posted in:Raquel Zimmermann

2014

21

Aug

How Did I Miss The Nicki Minaj Anaconda Video of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t like Nicki Minaj, because she’s the most irritating Lil Kim impersonator there is. I don’t really buy into her bullshit, because she came out as a black lady gaga to talk to a specific market…and now she’s a gutter hip hop slut? I mean really…she doesn’t even hide the fact that she was in acting school and went to a casting…

Not that it matters that the whitest black girl, is playing a black girl, to speak to white girls…

What matters is that her hyped Anaconda video dropped 2 days ago, and 19 million people have seen it…and I totally didn’t…even though I posted behind the scenes, and build up to it, because I guess build up and hype didn’t work on me, I’m too busy not caring about garbage like this…but I do like celebrating ass as much as she does…and I guess how the whole world likes celebrating ass..

I mean this is the most ass filled video ever…and worth watching….on mute…

Because legit or not…the ass game is real.

Posted in:Videos

2014

21

Aug

Models Do the Ice Bucket Challenge of the Day

No Comments »

This celebrity cool kid, you know them letting you know who they know and who they are friends with, you know because the whole world is like a giant horrible high school and they are the cool kids, and you’re all the fucking virgin losers in the corner not invited to any of the parties…

I am all for creating awareness for a disease, but I don’t think ice buckets are representative of the disease….

Jourdan Dunn

Suki Waterhouse

Alessandra Ambrosio

Sara Sampaio

Gigi Hadid

Behati Prinsloo

Lily Aldridge

Kate Upton

Brett Palvin

Posted in:Videos

2014

21

Aug

W Magazine’s How To Take a Selfie Like a Supermodel of the Day

No Comments »

W Magazine put together this video of models doing selfies, I don’t know what models are in the mix, because I had to turn the fucking thing off in the first 10 seconds because let’s face it, it fucking sucks. The idea was poorly executed, especially when we all know model selfies involve way more vag that they are sending their producer boyfriends when their producer boyfriends are off with other models…

It’s like this made me hate models, even though I normally think they are amazing – the top tier of escorts – who let you do whatever you want to them as long as you can afford their day rate….

The funny thing in all this is that this video probably cost 20,000 dollars to make and was probably paid for by a phone company to generate 1000 views…garbage…

The world is a scam, and this video lacks anything good, so that’s why I posted it…for you because you deserve the worst.

Posted in:Videos

2014

21

Aug

Kate Moss Directs Lara Stone for Vogue of the Day

No Comments »

Kate Moss directed what may be her first video, and as far as I’m concerned it is a bunch of high concept bullshit that isn’t high concept at all, but that is just phoney artistic attempt.

I never understand why people with budget and access ruin things by trying to be interesting or unique, it’s like everyone owns a camera on their phone now, we don’t need your pretentious ass making bullshit to distract us….especially in an era where we prefer sexts to experimental videos staring Lara Stone…and a wolf….

She should stick to topless beach pics.

Posted in:Kate Moss