DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

02

Jul

Doutzen Kroes for Samsung of the Day

Samsung should be paying me for promoting this campaign staring the mother of a half black baby or two that she made in the VIP room at a rave or super-club in Vegas with the DJ, because everyone knows the EDM DJ is the most important, overpaid, specimen of man, who has been clever enough to fuck the system on little to no talent because that’s just the world we live in…brain wash the retard college kids with Ecstasy and Robotic sounds that penetrate their brains..

But Samsung isn’t paying me, so I get to rip into this shitty campaign staring a pregnant with her second interracial in a bikini in the pool, strategically cropping out her body, because she’s pregnant, even though she is only around because of her body…

It’s fucking Samsung, they have money, they could have booked any non-pregnant model and at least shown some ass cheek…

If she’s in a fucking pool, in a bikini, you gotta deliver that bikini, otherwise put her in a fucking snowsuit. You fools.

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes

2014

02

Jul

A Day in the Life of Candice Swanepoel of the Day

No Comments »

Here is a video proving that just because she’s a model, does not mean she’s interesting, has anything important to say, or that she leads a fun life…

But in Candice Swanepoel’s defence, I stopped watching in the first 10 seconds, I have better shit to do with my time…but luckily you don’t….

She’s got a hot accent, her dairy farm that expiated black workers for generations bit was a little heavy, and the fact she’s not half naked a total misuse of her talent…

But I support her body…in spirt not financially like her Victoria’s Secret bra…so here is a horrible day in the life with her…

Here are the pics from this failed campaign:

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2014

02

Jul

Izabel Goulart Pose of the Day

No Comments »

I never get bored of this bitch….

She does her fitness thing half naked for instagram, and it’s perfectly nice to stare at…

I mean I am sure if I dated her, had to fuck her and only her til the end up time, even with these creative poses and positions, I’d get bored of her, that’s the whole basis of love…to see how long it takes before you cheat..because you like what they are offering better…

But I’m just looking at her posing in a bikini and that’s perfectly ok by me…keep up the good work.

Posted in:Izabel Goulart

2014

02

Jul

Lily Aldridge in a Bathing Suit for Glamour France of the DAy

No Comments »

Lily Aldridge did this shoot for Glamour France, where she wore a variety of bathing suits in public, under a coat, like she was some kind of flasher, or streaker, or exhibitionist cam girl just trying to get tips, and not the fame whore, entitled rich kid who maneuvered her way to what I guess is the top for average self proclaimed instagram models before instagram models…right time, right place, knew the right people, strike for the gold…which in her case is a Victoria’s Secret contract for ego, and rockstar husband for status, and money…well she always had that so it doesn’t matter.

These pictures could be better if she was getting fucked up the ass in them.

Posted in:Lily Aldridge

2014

02

Jul

Leann Rimes in a Bikini Christmas Photoshoot of the DAy

No Comments »

I guess it’s already that time of you, when country singers start planning or shooting the final touches on all their Christmas content they produce, because hicks who listen to this girls smutty music, masked as wholesome music, despite her being a home wrecking, divorcee, with fake tits and the appeal of truck stop stripper…they are committed…because Jesus doesn’t want you to turn your back on anyone…even when they do such anti-christian things…like monetize and make a mockery out of what theoretically should be their most sacred day of the year…the birth of their lord who dictates whether gays can marry, girls can get the pill, and all kinds of other uneducated, there are more ignorant retards in the world than not…and that is why LeAnn Rimes exists…

But at least she was in a bikini.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Leann Rimes

2014

02

Jul

Sofia Vergara Instagram Cleavage of the Day

No Comments »

Sofia Vergara posted some cleavage pics to the internet…cleavage pics that would be more exciting if she wasn’t 100 years old. I mean sure, ever since noticing my grandmother’s old ladies tits, I thought old lady tits were fascinating…so big and juicy….but not in an erotic way, more like scientific researcher researching the slow death of sex appeal…

I figure the only good Sofia Vergara has done in the world is proved that you can exploit your ethnicity, if your coke smuggling drug lord family are working with hollywood people…who love coke…you don’t need talent, just tits to get work…

From immigrant to famous at 40….lots of dicks were sucked in the making of this ,but who has the last laugh….

Life lesson, always suck the right dick girls.

Posted in:Sofia Vergara

2014

02

Jul

Kendall Jones Kills African Animals and Posts it on Facebook of the Day

No Comments »

I was just doing the internet rounds and say that my good friend over at WWTDD posted THESE PICTURES OF CHEERLEADER KENDALL JONES ON AN AFRICAN ANIMAL KILLING SPREE ..and I had no choice but to post it.

Not because I find hunting hot, or girls who hunt hot, or girls who post with dead animals, especially not the cast of the Lion King type animals..

I find it disgusting and hope this helps the world hate her, even if you are hunting enthusiasts, this is straight murdering nature and that’s fucking twisted, whatever level of “class” it represented in 1910…we’ve moved past that and done enough damage to the world for nature, we night as well let it die off with the rest of us, instead of actively seeking it out and killing it.

I am an animal love, but I still eat meat, but that doesn’t mean I think killing a fucking lion is cool..

I just hope this helps put her head on a stake and bitch ends up taking one of her riffles to herself thanks to the fury that this should cause the internet…

Instead, it’s probably going to get her a reality show….

Posted in:Kendall Jones

2014

02

Jul

David Cronenberg’s New Movie of the Day

No Comments »

I would say that CRASH is one of the more influential movie makers of my life…

He is Canadian…and I guess so am I, which never really factored into why I liked his movies. In the early 80s he did Videodrome which was awesome, The Fly, which was awesome, Naked Lunch, which was awesome…but the most life changing movies he got made, at least for a pervert like me, who is fascinated by sex and all the weird facets of sex…Crash…the movie about a girl who can only cum when being involved in a car crash…It came out in the 90s, which was pretty revolutionary..and full of sex…

Nowadays, no one cares because of the internet and growing up on porn

This is his video for some art exhibit – it’s intense:

His short The Nest was commissioned for the exhibition and is now available online for the first time. Through the point of view of a doctor (voiced by Cronenberg himself), a woman (Evelyne Brochu) who has made the request for a very unorthodox breast operation is interviewed. Could the rough-looking operating room actually be Cronenberg’s garage?

Here is another version if youtube shuts her down…

Posted in:David Cronenberg

2014

02

Jul

Naked Man on Drugs at a Rave and Other Videos of the Day

No Comments »

Naked Man in Traffic

Man Sucker Punched a 77 Year Old

Racist Cop VS NFL Linebacker Sam Montgomery

Road Rage of the Day

Annoying flamboyant rich kid….

Posted in:Videos

2014

02

Jul

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

No Comments »

My favorite thing about prescription pills…is doing them…lots of them…like a teenager in America who can’t get a bottle of booze because he’s not 21, but he can get downers and uppers and mix them all together and snort them up his nose…

Because prescription pills are doctor approved…so they can’t be bad for you…

Here are some morning links motherfuckers…

The Things You Miss When you Pass Out Drunk
GO

It’s Bikini Season!
GO

Beyonce Admitted Jay Z Cheated On Her in Concert.
GO

Curb Your Enthusiasm Fashion Moments are Pretty Funny
GO

Lindsay Lohan Made it to 28
GO

The Cat Who Flushes the Toilet
GO

Aida Yespica in a Bikini..
GO

This is where all the Cougars Who Want to Fuck Play…
GO

Hockey Player Arrested for some Homo Shit
GO

So Many Girls Getting Their Fuck On…
GO

Shia LaBeouf is Awesome
GO

Hot Asses!!
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS