DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

29

May

Izabel Goulart Fitness Tip of the Day

As far as I’m concerned, the mot relevant person in fitness erotica is Izabel Goulart…here she is teaching a move that girls can copy at home to try to get her ass and stomach and that guys can masturabte to instead of trying to masturbate to it at the gym where they will get in trouble and more importantly be masturbating to girls who don’t look like Iza Goulart, but who look more like the walmart cashier trying to get into her summer at the trailer park vacation bikini body…because girls like Izabel Goulart produce videos for you to join in on the fun, but don’t work out in public places for you to actually get in on the fun…and I’m just glad she’s doing it.

Posted in:Izabel Goulart

2014

29

May

Marcie Kieskiewicz in a Hot Fashion Video for Nowness of the Day

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The people at NOWNESS produced this interesting artsy fartsy video of some model getting syrup poured onto her naked body…which sold me on whatever they were doing..

Normally, I would have taken a shit on these kinds of things because they remind me of bullshit student films that attempt to be high concept but that miss the fucking mark…you know shot beautifully with irony or whatever…but the fact is when you present a script, a concept and pretend it’s for fashion or art, the quality girl getting naked in it – goes up substantially…It’s just a mind fuck…

So I don’t really find “fashion films” to be good, I like what they do to women, and I am not about to jerk off to this, but it’s nice to look at…but then again I don’t watch porn, or jerk off to porn, but I know I hate it. Not in a “I think it’s the fall of society kind of way”…but in a it bores the fuck out of me, the girls don’t impress me, the quality of the production is shady at best, and the fact is that it’s free on the internet so what the fuck do you expect..

I’m less a guy who jerks off to video and more the kind of guy who masturbates to memories of a better time…

Posted in:Marcie Kieskiewicz

2014

29

May

Emily Osment Does Big Cleavage of the Day

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I like to think that Emily Osment is actually Haley Joel Osment with a set of fake tits and some female hormone therapy, either before or after the chop…

Not because I am into transgendered girls who still have their penis because I am all about tits and figure if they have a girly enough face it’s not gay when I take them from behind…in a lot of ways a man trying to be a girl is more feminine than an actual girl since she’s got something to prove, especially when that man trying to be a girl is an Oscar nominated actor…

The fact is that I generally don’t really find tranny’s all that hot…I just like to think that the Haley Joel Osment storyline was a little more twisted, with a lot more depth than just him fading into obscurity, and introducing his sister to his agents to get work, while he sits around and smokes weed all day remembering the good old days of stardom…

Either way, whether she is Haley Joel or not…she’s got some tits she likes showing off. Some may say overcompensating for having a penis, I say…keep up the good work.

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Posted in:Emily Osment

2014

29

May

Eliza Doolittle Ass Crack of the Day

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Eliza Doolittle has a ridiculous stage name…but that’s not the tragedy in these pictures of her ass crack looking pretty fucking cute on the beach…the tragedy is that these pictures happened in Miami, and I’ve migrated to Florida accidentally, due to a love of leathery white trash women on meth with fake tits living in trailer park communities with a pool I get to sit by all day…meaning I was physically 45 minutes away from this British spoiled brat who made a career out of her parents connections, something I tease but don’t really hate on, because so many rich and connected kids before her just crashed their BMW into a Deli in Santa Barbara after killing off a bunch of people or developed a drug addiction…making shit happen, even when shitty, is still better than doing nothing…and as far as I’m concerned…her ass crack is her best work to date…I mean that booty is serious from this angle…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Eliza Doolittle

2014

29

May

Ashley Wagner Figure Skater in a Bikini of the Day

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Ashley Wagner won an Olympic Bronze and Now she’s in a white bottom bikini – the kind that gets see through when wet on Vacation…showing off her fit, figure skating body…

She is really not cute, I mean her face is pretty fucking mangled, which I guess doesn’t really have anything to do with her success as a figure skater….

Her body is athletic, ripped, flat chested and the kind of thing her closet case figure skating partner could likely have sex with with ease…because if he closes his eyes he can pretend the broad fit shoulders are that of a dainty man…

I am not a hater, I mean she’s your nation hero, even though I think a nation hero is less about a bronze medal and more about a gold..

I also have a soft spot for figure skaters because I am from Canada and it’s something people do that is televised on the one socialist channel we get, that on more than one occasion I’ve jerked off to, thanks to panty flashes all day everyday…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ashley Wagner

2014

29

May

Kelly Hall is the Page 3 Girl of the Day

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Kelly Hall is a UK Glamour Model, that is code for girl with tits who always liked the idea of being a model, even if it meant capitalizing on her tits, because it’s better than working at the strip club or as an escort. If anything, even if it doesn’t pay, it increases her audience and gives her that stamp of approval that allows her to write “Published Model” on her instagram, differentiating her from “instagram models”…which amazingly enough makes athletes and other rich people want to marry their trashy asses, or knock up their trashy asses, and the whole thing is better than being a stripper they were destined to be in…

YOu see Glamour Model, is anything but Glamourous, if anything it is the trashiest kind of modelling, but if you white wash it by labelling it Glamour…it makes the whole experience almost as luxurious as fashion models…who also show their tits…

I guess what I am getting at is that every girl should show her tits to get ahead and that’s probably the one life lesson we can pull from the UK’s Page 3 tabloid, that’s been celebrating these topless tarts everyday for decades…good work.

TO SEE THE ARCHIVE OF PAGE 3 TITTIES CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kelly Hall

2014

29

May

Brad Pitt Punched at Angelina’s Movie Premiere of the Day

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Brad Pitt made Angelina Jolie’s comeback tour about him, maybe in protest of her abuse, or maybe because he had nothing to do with it, when some Ukrainian prankster you allowed in your country, jumped the barricade at her premiere and punched Brad Pitt in the face…but being the tough guy that Brad Pitt is, he didn’t let that affect or take away from the woman who own’s his testicle and who made him a little bitch’s day…and here are the pictures of ANgelina’s Big tits to prove that the show must go on…

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Posted in:Brad Pitt

2014

29

May

Lena Dunham’s Shit Stoned Underwear of the Day

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Lena Dunham posted a pictures of her disgusting ass, that has no business really existing, but that does exist thanks to idiot execs who don’t know what’s up, or who think they know what’s up, and figure that they might as well use some connected pig because they are friends with her parents, and figure that it would be an interesting angle, or social commentary, by saying “we don’t need pretty people on TV, ugly people fuck too”…to make a show more relatable, even though none of us want to see ugly people talk about sex, since we fuck ugly people everyday, and that kind of reality doesn’t belong on TV…even though it ended up working…

Well now she’s showing the world her gross underwear with shit stains on them, because, she’s already made at least one person vomit, she might as well embrace that shit and go deeper and deeper into new realms of disgusting….

Thanks for being so innovative pig.

Posted in:Lena Dunham

2014

29

May

Dude Picks Fight with the Wrong Guy and Other Videos of the Day

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Father Paddles His Kids for Shop Lifting – In Public…

Customer Disarmed Robber

Dude plays Slayer on Banjo

Goat Riding a Man in Ethiopia

Drunk FIght Turns Nasty

Suicide Jumper Hits Train…

Posted in:Videos

2014

29

May

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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Girls don’t like when you tell them you masturbated to a pair of their panties…especially when they live in your building, you’ve never talked to them before, and they walk in on you in the laundry room, on their way to fold their clothes, only to find you’ve beat them to it…if anything they get their big boyfriend to come own and talk to you…

Here are some stepLINKS…

Reading Rainbow Made 1 Million in 1 Day
GO

Scout Willis is Pretty Perfect
GO

Mariah Carey Big Tits
GO

FIND COUGAR PUSSY TO FUCK…..
GO

Eliza Doolittle Bikini
GO

The Baby Who Loves Cake
GO

Gisele Naked
GO

CAM GIRLS ARE AMAZING
GO

Crossfit Fails
GO

Forever Alone Prom
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS