DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

09

Apr

Tara Reid Bikini Fashion Show of the Day

Every time I see Tara Reid doing a self produced bikini fashion show despite being in her mid 40s…I feel great joy.

These pictures she posted on twitter are the highlight of my day…which may not be saying much about my day….

I don’t know if it is because she represents a better time, or if I find it funny that she threw away her career to become a perpetual spring breaker, and is still at it well into her 40s….Maybe I just find it funny to look at her leathery body and shitty fake tits…because she’s not fat….like some kind of novelty act…or maybe this is porn to me…

She’s like a corpse…but not dead…even if her soul is..

Whatever the reason is, I just know I love it….

TO SEE THE PAPARAZZI VERSION OF THESE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Tara Reid

2014

09

Apr

Naya Rivera’s Product Placement of the Day

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Reebok payed Glee star and Rapper Wife – Naya Rivera – to show the world her ass on instagram…

Reebok and Glee star and Rapper Wife – Naya Rivera – are smut pedlars and the good news is that so am I, so as long as someone is getting rich showing off her ghetto booty that black men love, giving me something to stare at and post, since I am not getting paid to post pics of ghetto booty black men love, it’s better than not having pics of ghetto booty black men love…

You see if Reebok finances instagram porn, I’m ok with it, as long I get to look at it…even if it’s actually pretty boring and not spread eagle or naked enough…

I mean I don’t think a successful sext happens until there’s spread ass and labia…no meat, no pink, no party…but I’ll settle for slutty workout gear…because I got nothing else going on.

Posted in:Naya Rivera

2014

09

Apr

Melissa Joan Hart Bikini Product Placement of the Day

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Here’s a big reveal no one fucking cares about….

Nothing like a mom no one has cared about the last decade, and even a decade ago, I’m not sure anyone cared about her, except maybe when she was partying with Britney Spears for that week.

You know, the young starlet who couldn’t be any less interesting in the public eye. I don even know if she had bikini pics, vagina flashes, nip slips and all the other good stuff that has come from the early 2000s internet.

Finally doing a big reveal to promote some million dollar endorsement she got to lose her baby weight, in a bikini…

When the bikini hustle for attention should have happened back when she was on fucking TV..

I hate how bitches lose sight of the simple “I don’t get naked that’s for sluts”…when they should be getting naked…and then when they shouldn’t be getting naked…like when they are 100 fucking years old…they get naked…because they remember the past when people cared about them…

It’s called striking when the iron is hot, maybe if this Sabrina Witch worked harder in her youth, there’d be no need to whore herself now…

Either way, it happened…

Posted in:Melissa Joan Hart

2014

09

Apr

Sarah Hyland at the Renaissance Faire for the Real Virgins of the Day

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I generally assume that I write this site for a bunch of virgin losers who can’t get laid or even really interact with girls because they are so fucking awkward. I am talking the kind of guy who can’t even hire a hooker or get a lap dance because he’s too fucking shy and awkward…I am talking full on autistic, socially inept shit that unfortunately manifested as a porn addiction and not an actual addiction to building software…you know the lonely, welfare, obsessive compulsive who spends hours making models of their favorite stars out of their own semen…while tweeting them love letters all night…

Well…this one’s for you…the real virgin loser…because you love that Renaissance LARPING shit…and you love Sarah Hyland…because that’s just the kind of world we live in..

I hope this doesn’t make you cum yourself, but the fact is it’s from the weekend, so you’ve probably already printed these up onto a ripe melon you plan on fucking the shit of, cuz with virgin loser comes innovative masturbation practices.

Posted in:Sarah Hyland

2014

09

Apr

Behati Prinsloo vs Amber Heard in DT of the Day

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I like when these magazines put these girls up against each other, making them hate each other, and compare themselves to each other, buy giving them equal play in a magazine, and waiting to see who gets the most coverage for it…because friendly competition, coupled with egotistical cunts who think they are the best thing ever, feeling insecure is erotic to me…

So one of them is engaged to the worst human ever, the kind of guy who you probably want to kill, because he is Adam Levine and annoying in his Bar Mitzvah DJ hustle…tainted…

The other is a home wrecker, who lured Johnny Depp, a relatively cool person in Hollywood, because he takes his Disney roles seriously…

Both of them are trying to be fun, sexy in DT Spain…and it’s safe to say Amber Heard won this one…and I guess won on all fronts…based on the fact that she isn’t engaged to Adam Levine.

Posted in:Amber Heard|Behati Prinsloo

2014

09

Apr

Bregje Heinen For SuperTrash of the Day

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Bregje Heinen, the model with a name that sounds like she’s having one of her binging and purging episodes in the bathroom because she has been rejected on three major campaigns in a row and in her mind it must be because she’s fat…you know how models think…or maybe you don’t but let me tell you…it’s like they get put on castings daily and rejected 90 percent of the time…breaking them at their core because whether they make a million dollars a year doing it, and not many of them do, they are still losing out on jobs, and that fucks with their heads…luckily there’s always billionaires willing to marry them as they are approved by the fashion world as hot enough for a billionaire…

That said, Bregje Heinen, got this job, modelling whatever this is and here are the pics…

Posted in:Bregje Heinen

2014

09

Apr

Aubrey O’Day Hot in a Bikini of the Day

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Here’s Aubrey O’Day reminding all you fat chicks, that if you get fit, people will like you better and more opportunity will come your way, because no one likes fat chicks…not even fat chicks…even if I like watching them eat…a lot….it’s a fetish…

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day

2014

09

Apr

Bar Refaeli Promoting her Lingerie of the Day

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Bar Refaeli is relentless, these pics from her lingerie company were re-released the other day and blogs are writing about them like they are news, but I am pretty sure I’ve seen them and posted them before, but I guess they believe in why the fuck bother doing more shoots, that’s too much work, when we can just trick the public with half nakedness, and they don’t really care when they were shot, because she’s Bar Refaeli, ex swimsuit and lingerie model, turned business woman with swimsuit and lingerie companies, because why pose for someone else for millions, when you can build your own empire, it’s what happens when a bitch gets an ego and doesn’t really realize she’s replaceable with 10 other bitches built better…

All this to say, I don’t think she’s that hot, but I fear saying that, because people are going to blast me for being anti-Semitic…even though I do think she’s hot for a Jewish girl.

Posted in:Bar Refaeli

2014

09

Apr

TV Reporter Falls in the Water and Other Videos of the Day

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You’ve probably already seen this video of a reporter falling in the water, but it is too good, especially when dude gives her the wired boom mic to save her, which has to be up on some throwing the hairdryer in the bath kick…

If you don’t like that – here’s a Drunk Fight Knockout

and here’s Roided-up Owner Beats up his Store Employee at some Nutrition Supplement Store

Posted in:Videos

2014

09

Apr

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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Did you know that my snap chat is DRUNKSTEPFATHER

And that more importantly – I get many magical pictures everyday…that I would never save using an app designed to save snapchat pics…so send me your squirt videos.

Here are some morning Links….

Gwyneth Paltrow is Showing Off Her Son Before He Blames Himself for the Divorce and Turns to Drugs Financed By his Allowance
GO

Freakish Emma Watson GIF
GO

Drake is a Basketball Life
GO

Star Trek Captain is a Geocentrist – or Just Desperate for Money…
GO

Cosplay Done Right
GO

You’ll Never Believe How Hard This Will Make you Cum
GO

North Korean Teletubbies
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Naked Models in on the Beach
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Vivid is Scared of Being Exposed BY Farrah Abraham
GO

Reporter’s Puddle Jump Fail is Jokes
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS