DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

31

Mar

Miranda Kerr for May’s GQ UK of the Day

Miranda Kerr decided to show off what may be new tits in GQ…because she’s on her own and doing all she can to get work, noticed and really have a last hurrah now that Victoria’s Secret doesn’t give a fuck about her…

And the highlight for me wasn’t the pretty hot pics, but rather the bullshit she spewed about one night stands, when the entire world knows she fucked Justin Bieber like a perverted freak and that is why she’s no longer married and fired from Victoria’s Secret..

On being more confident about sex:
“The older I get, the more confident I am about asking for things I enjoy,” she says. “One thing I’ve noticed is now that I’m having less sex my body isn’t as toned. The more sex I have, the more defined my arms and stomach get. Orlando and I always had great chemistry. One-night stands aren’t my thing. I made Orlando wait for six months until I even kissed him… I always ask for a critique on my performance. I always want to better myself in every way.”

Here are the pics.

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2014

31

Mar

Top 100 Pics on Instagram from ULTRA of the Day

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EDM is a joke. I feel like it takes these DJ producers 10 minutes to make a song that these 30 year old chicks on MDMA eat up like they were 18 and half retarded, because the EDM scene seems to be just as much Quarter Life crisis of mainstream 9-5ers holding onto the dream, as it is 18 year olds learning how to party….its some Rave comeback from the 90s, that for someone who went to raves, seems really weird…But Bikinis and drugged out girls partying…aren’t all that bad…even if all these fucking drone peasant 9-5ers are all the same….

It was ULTRA this weekend, A huge Miami event for these people and here are the best pics I could find.

The Plur Candy Kid Handshake:

Here’s some chick in New York proving you don’t need to be at ULTRA in Miami to twerk

Posted in:stepLIST

2014

31

Mar

Emily Ratajkowski is Boring in a Bikini of the Day

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The nice thing about Emily Ratajkowski and her freakishly weird belly button, is that she will fade into obscurity. You see she was a busty topless model who tried so fucking hard to make it. She shot with every photographer she could, yet no one fucking cared about her, or noticed her, except for me…and then all of a sudden, she’s cast in a massive massive music video as the key tits…and boom…over…booking jobs, booking movie roles, booking Sports Illustrated, all while being average at best, a little bird-faced and despite being in her early 20s, like she got her face rebuilt by botox and other fillers…

I don’t hate her, I just laugh at how the internet works, one thing goes viral, and it brings all the pieces that are part of it up with it, but like all things with no talent to back up what she does, and when another smoke-and-mirror Kanye West groupie comes along, the world will forget that Emily Ratajkowski ever existed…except maybe for me, because I think she’s lovely, even if she’s stopped communicating with me now that she’s famous, despite communicating with me before she was famous on a regular basis…I’m not mad, it’s expected from fake-ness…it’s just the internet.

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2014

31

Mar

Mental Illness Makes All Things Better and Other Videos of the Day

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Crazy people, whether they are born that way, or have developed into a lunatic thanks to the way society works, or even if it’s all due to drugs…make everything better, even shitty things like your commute to work.

Here’s a bull calf getting revenge:

Here’s a girl being assaulted by the police in a Tuscon Riot…

An old video of a circus bear attacking handler then fucking off on his scooter….

Fat Russian Girl Shows her Athleticism

Posted in:Videos

2014

31

Mar

Kimberly Garner Tit Slip of the Day

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Kimberly Garner is a UK Reality Star, who is actually pretty hot and has managed to leverage her hotness into a brand of bikinis and some other bullshit that makes her more money that you, since the UK love these trashy hooker bitches, and buy into their nonsense…

Well it turns out she took a very important page out of the attention seeking low level celebrity book, and that’s pull your tit out for the paparazzi in a subtle way, because tits may just be tits, so no big deal, but websites love talking about them…even me…because…TITS>

Posted in:Kimberly Garner

2014

31

Mar

Joanna Krupa Pretends She Didn’t Know Her Dress Was See Through of the Day

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“It’s unfortunate that the flashes ruined the look of this gorgeous Michael Costello gown and made it look sheer”

” This is what I mean ruined by flash!”

It is funny to think that Joana Krupa, attention seeking clown who has spent her life dedicated to getting to this level of low level fame, would actually pretend on instagram that her see through dress every site is posting to talk about her nipples, was not strategic but in fact a real shame because it didn’t allow the dress to look as beautiful as it was meant to be. Damn flashes.

What an obvious, egotistical cunt.

Posted in:Joanna Krupa

2014

31

Mar

Adrianne Curry Ripped for Old Times of the DAy

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You probably don’t remember Adrianne Curry because she doesn’t really matter and never really mattered. She was more of a chronic reality TV illness when reality TV infected the world. From bullshit top model shows, to living with other celebrities, to marrying one of those celebrities and having a show built around them…leading to a great career as a twitter personality who goes to comicon conventions in cosplay…

I mean she single handedly proved that people will watch pretty much anything, and pay attention to even the worst human, as long as it is on TV…

I like to think her claim to fame is when she told me off on Social Medai…

Well if you’ve been wondering about where she’s been, and you haven’t been, she’s been working out and here are her muscles. She’s the worst. Even when she’s SHOWING HER NIPPLES

Remember – she doesn’t matter.

Posted in:Adrianne Curry

2014

31

Mar

Natalia Vodianova for ETAM of the Day

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Back in February, I posted THESE ETAM CATALOG PICS WITH NATALIA VODIANOVA …saying how I hate catalog bikini pics, since they lack creativity….and are generally boring on all fronts, but sometimes when you dust off an old top model, who is in her 30s and who has been married and had three kids with at least one billionaire, as Russian girls do…because let’s face it, modelling is a great front from being an international escort who can find a rich husband in the most politically correct of ways…all glamour all the time…

So here she is in more catalog shots, that may suck, but that I think are lovely enough to post.

Posted in:Natalia Vodianova

2014

31

Mar

Lady Gaga in her Bra Selfie in Bed of the Day

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If Lady Gaga was to do pretty much any publicity stunt, from spreading her asshole and shitting on historical objects, to raping herself with religious artifacts, to being fisted by an amputee reading poetry….no one would fucking care…

The only stunt she really could pull off that would get noticed, is public suicide. Unfortunately, she loves herself too much to do that, but we can hope with a little convincing that it’s her only option, and I guess we will have to wait until she gets real fucking desperate to make that happen…you know when fame really dries up and she’s got no where to turn as all her stunts will have been done and forgotten. So there is hope that we all out life her…

But for some reason, I am compelled to post her bra selfie, because this is the selfie generation and the most normal behavior I’ve seen out of her…and if that’s not relevant news that should beat out all the fucked up things in the world, I don’t know what is.

TO SEE PICS OF GAGA SHOWING UP AT AN EVENT IN A SEE THROUGH OUTFIT – FIRST ASK YOURSELF WHY YOU’D WANT TO SEE THAT…THEN
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lady Gaga

2014

31

Mar

McKayla Maroney in a Bikini OMG of the Day

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Who gives a fuck…so some 18 year old gymnast was in her bikini on vine to cater to her creepy fans who don’t even care about her anymore because she’s turned 18. You see, there’s something about jailbait that makes jailbait not matter the day they turn 18, unless of course they use that day for good and not evil, by filming a porno movie so you get a piece of them as close to the cusp of legal as you can…otherwise they just fade into obscurity, especially when the sport the chose before taking on acting, was Gymnastics, where you fade out the day you turn 18 also, this shit is for nimble 12 year old Russian and Chinese girls. But the good news is…there’s always getting half naked to keep people talking and to get you that taste of fame you once had…cute. Even though bikinis are hardly fucking scandalous and if anything are boring. Give me spread labia. Seriously.

But if you really care about what’s going on in the world of teens, and the adults who play teens in teen targeted TV….Here’s Everything You Need to See at the Kid’s Choice Awards That Happened Last Night
CLICK HERE

Posted in:McKayla Maroney