DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

23

Jan

Emily Osment Does Bondage of the Day

I have always assumed that Emily Osment was a sexual deviant…you know totally dysfunctional and fucked up thanks to being born Haley Joel Osment, academy award nominee, who no one cared about after he hit puberty, until he got breast implants and put on a dress…

You know the kind of tranny, who like so many other trannies, is just a fucking dirt, broken down person, who has weird sex with married men and themselves…from inserting big objects to sucking their own dicks..just google tranny porn, and it’ll give you a whole new perspective of that chick down the street who was born a dude…because to cut off your own dick, your sex organ, you gotta have some serious fucking issues..

Issues, that make being cuffed to a bed, pretty vanilla, but at least she’s giving us a taste of how freaky she gets…you know as a Disney chick, her career only allows so much.

Posted in:Emily Osment

2014

23

Jan

Keri Russell Slutting Out for GQ like it was the 90s of the Day

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Felicity is making a comeback and she’s doing it pretty naughty…making her fans that loved her when she was in her late 20s…who probably still have the DVD box set wrapped in their DVD collection next to their star wars toys pretty fucking exciting…because they never gave up on her when the rest of us forgot about her and they knew that when they staged that fake wedding in their mom’s basement with a model they made of her…their commitment and love for her was eternal…through thickness and thinness, sickness and health…

While the rest of us just see a 40 year old trying to hard, post pregnancy, to be hot…but in our defence we didn’t find her hot in her 20s and don’t find her hot now.

Posted in:Keri Russell

2014

23

Jan

Drunken Cycling of the Day

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I learned at a young age, that everything is better when drunk. I am talking all aspects of life. From school, to work, to sports, to hobbies, to sex, to church, to whatever the fuck you like doing…when you’re drunk…it’s actually enjoyable…and if done right…it makes people laugh…and spreading job, up on some Patch Adams shit, makes the world a better place, even if it involves sacrificing your safety, well being or health…you are martyr…like this guy riding his bike drunk…awesome.

Posted in:Videos

2014

23

Jan

Jasmin Walia Hot Leotard pic of the Day

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TOWIE is some big UK show that I have never seen because I don’t live in the UK…but that is apparently a big deal…and I guess one of the reality show’s stars if that even makes sense, because as far as I am concerned any star in a reality show is a fucking loser, even this one, named Jasmin Walia….I mean if you don’t factor in that she posts pics of her ass with some leotard shit jacked up her ass…the kind of girl using Reality TV to leverage her into a sex tape deal…much more enterprising than the whores I deal with…

Posted in:Jasmin Walia

2014

23

Jan

Kelly Hall Tits for Page 3 of the Day

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Show NSFW Content

Kelly Hall is a Page 3 Idol winner, which I guess is a big deal in the UK for a girl who aspires to be a titty model, because it means getting on the map and into the daily paper as the tits of the year, at least I assume that’s the case, because these tits has that as her twitter bio….

I don’t find her all that hot, at least not in these shitty, generic pics, but she does have tits that she thinks are good enough to use to get ahead and she is willing to use them…and more girls should follow her lead because I want to see her tits..

Posted in:Kelly Hall|NSFW

2014

23

Jan

Kate Upton Does the Superbowl for Vogue of the Day

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The Super Bowl is a big deal for Kate Upton…

Not necessarily because she’s into Football…

Not necessarily because her fan base is all about that shit…and I don’t mean to shit on every football fan, because I know that football is a huge deal to dudes of all socio-economic backgrounds…I just mean to say that trailer dwelling mass market blue collar Joe the Plumber motherfucker with the 400 pound wife is all about this Kate Upton shit, her awkward body is like some angelic shape from heaven…

But because of all the party snacks…so much food for her to eat her way through…because that’s what pigs do.

Posted in:Kate Upton

2014

23

Jan

Weather Channel Fail of the Day

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I think the biggest fail in recent years is that the Weather Channel and their league of Meteorologists have tried to sensationalize their jobs by like they were working for Hard Copy or some other tabloid show…by naming winter storms like they were hurricanes that needed to be tracked, I guess because when you’re a weather man…all you have going for you, besides fucking the weather woman behind the green screen map, is tracking the storm from your shitty office at your shitty low level local news channel studio…dreaming of the day you become Al Roker…

I mean that was the biggest fail, until they named a winter storm Janus, and had a dude stand in front of the “J”…

Funnies.

Posted in:LOLZ

2014

23

Jan

Anastasia Ashley’s Doing the Rihanna Paddleboard Pic of the DAy

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Anastasia Ashley keeps instagram fun. Whether it’s with her surfer ass or her doing parodies of celebrity bikini pics….I always get a good laugh…then a good cry….because I always cry when I want to masturbate but can’t because all my hard living broke my clit sized buried in fat penis…now to be clear, that wasn’t a crying when masturbating joke, I hate those….but rather just a sad glimpse into my horrible life…a life that Anastasia Ashley’s instagram consistently reminds me is flawed, failed…

Here she is doing the RIHANNA Paddle Board Erotica…which is the only kind of erotica anyone should know!

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2014

23

Jan

Justin Bieber’s Awesome Mug Shot of the Day

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So everyone is laughing about Justin Bieber…even though it is pretty much expected that some tween worth 200 million dollars doesn’t really have a clue what’s up and that he is going to rebel…and he’s gonna get himself in trouble along the way…paving the way for a premature death thanks to being whored out by his mom when he was 8….

But the dude does take an awesome mug shot…it’s like he was born for this shit…it looks like it is professionally shot, either this cop needs to get into the fashion world, or this was all for a publicity stunt to justify his rehab, to diffuse focus from his drugs and scandal going on back home, and to help spin his story to the public while he is so angelic…sent here to save the tweens…

Next stop premature death.

Posted in:Justin Bieber

2014

23

Jan

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I spend my polar vortex nights trying to get vagina pics…I am addicted to vagina pics…I don’t care if the vagina is nice, old, disgusting or shrivelled…I don’t care if it is alive or dead…I just care that it is a vagina…I am a vagina gynecologist…

Here are some morning links…

Girls With No Bras
GO

Funny Taco Bell Craigslist Ad
GO

Old Folks Home Dressed Residents Up as Classic Movie Characters Now
GO

Pizza Selfies creep me out…
GO

The Captain and Tennille are Divorcing!
GO

The Water Bottle Monster
GO

Jay Z’s Net Worth
GO

Laura Cremaschi’s Big Tits
GO

Creepy Muffin Looks Like a Dog
GO

1000s of Girls Naked…and Touching Themselves..
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS