DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

30

Sep

Miley Cyrus Picture of the Day

As Miley Cyrus’ biggest fan, my day is not complete without looking at at least one picture of her, because I understand that every move she makes is calculated, designed to get press, and to make her money, and I appreciate that her hustle works so fucking efficiently, and involves the perfect level of slutty, to get her point across and to influence young girls into understanding what’s important in life…and that is getting hits to make hits all thanks to the twerk…she’s so dreamy…love her or love her…those are your only options.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

30

Sep

Rihanna Kills it on Instagram in her New Video Outfit of the Day

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Rihanna always fucking wins. I mean this girl just puts herself out there when she really doesn’t have to and she looks good doing it…and that to me is the single most important thing a person could be doing with their celebrity. Fuck make a wish foundation or charity causes…

It’s like she didn’t get famous for being the half naked attention seeker who feels like it’s cool or artistic or high concept or even hot to get half naked…but she’s become that and it’s great for all the young girls watching to grow up thinking this is ok…because it is ok…in fact it is better than ok…it’s how you get fans, noticed, money and my approval…which we all know everyone seeks…

She may have been a hooker as a teen to get here, she may be an exhibitionist now, but she’s killing the instagram game, making it masturbation worthy, and for that we should celebrate her…

This is from her new video and this is the best thing that happened today so far…even though I’d prefer this without the black bars…

Posted in:Rihanna

2013

30

Sep

More Sophie Simmons Thickness of the Day

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THere are some things in life that can’t be explained and one of them is that I am oddly attracted to Sophie Simmons in her bikini…and my body is giving me awkward boners to these pics…boners that should never happen to a girl of her stature…especially since unlike every dude she’s ever had sex with, I am not a KISS fan, but I guess this is just a testament to hot good of a marketers Gene Simmons is, I mean I’ll buy into all he produces and puts out there…at least when it’s thick like this…

Trust me, this is against everything I stand for…which I guess is ok, since I am sitting…

But seriously, where’s her eating disorder, why are the high Fructose Corn Syrup manufacturers winning…why is it that at the club all the young girls are fat and I like them…is this the end of me? I guess only time will tell…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Sophie Simmons

2013

30

Sep

Hispanic Girls at the ALMA’s of the Day

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If you like your Hispanic women being celebrated for their work in the latin community, given loyal latin fans something to look up to, and hope that they can one day be the token latin person in some shitty show or movie or even record label trying to speak to the Latin American market’s roster…than you’ll be glad to know that the ALMA awards happened and a whole lot of curvy bitches with shitty tits attended and we’ve got the PICS
pics…

If you’re like me, you prefer your Hispanic women cleaning the house, or hotel room for less than minimum wage, because they are more accessible and easier to have sex with, especially when you have a business card of a middle manager at immigration, you’ll still appreciate these pics of the top tier hispanics, who tell the lower tier how to dress and more importantly, that sucking dick to get ahead can pay off…I’m talking to you Eva Longria….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alexa Vega|ALMA AWARDS

2013

30

Sep

Barbara Palvin’s Hot Selfie of the Day

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Barbara Palvin is doing some good fucking work…taking selfies like an 18 year old who isn’t in war torn eastern Europe, but rather reaping the benefits of being a million dollar earner in modelling, who can afford a smart phone…

I like that she’s letting us all know that despite possibly having sex with Bieber like she was Miranda Kerr…even though she was just the exit strategy or the PR spin on that Miranda Kerr story to divert people from knowing that Miranda Kerr sleeps around…with adult 12 year old pop stars….because putting the new Hungarian 18 year old at the scene of the crime just makes more sense for the public to accept while keeping Victoria’s Secret clean image, as clean as it can be…so the Christians don’t start protesting these smut peddlers and just accept them as underwear producers, since we all need fucking underwear….she’s still kinda hot…

Posted in:Barbara Palvin

2013

30

Sep

Candice Swanepoel Hot Body for Agua Bendita of the Day

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Looks like Victoria’s Secret either has a majority stack in Agua Bendita, or Candice Swanepoel has been traded to the competition, something they’d never do, at least not now, after investing millions in making her a star and she’s still got so more use out of her hot little model body, that is probably very big and sturdy, and was handy on the South African farm she was raised on, but in pictures shit’s just taint and proportional and fucking lovely…they are going to wait until she’s old and retired, broken down with stretch marks so thick and deep they can’t be photoshopped out, and a vagina so broken from all the kids, that it looks like she’s got huge balls…I mean they are milking this pony until she’s barely able to walk from all the arthritis her bikini modelling has given her, since we all know it’s such hard work to sit around half naked for a few hours as photographers take pics and handlers serve you drinks and food and anything you fucking want…what a joke…

I’ve actually lost interest in Candice, I was all about her last year, but I guess like anything that involves not have sex with her, it gets old faster than she gets old…I am sure she’s sad that I’ve broken up with her in my crazy little mind…a pain all the girls who I break up with that I’ve met must feel..

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

30

Sep

Jungle Music Scam and Other Videos of the Day

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Some Australian sounding back-packers, because if you’ve ever traveled you’ll know they are all fucking Australians, were traveling deep in the jungles of Guadalcanal….wherever the fuck that is…and they came across a man with a UKULELE who wasn’t a hipster girl on her way to the park….which is so strange in and of itself…since that’s what I thought UKULELE’s were invented for…

These Australians asked him to play them a song, in a Dance Monkey Dance kinda way, and he did his on the shoulder stunt that all the tourists freak out for, thinking they just met a man untouched by society with natural talent, when really dude learned how to play this shit on Youtube…

They ended up throwing 50 dollars at him, reminding the jungle man why he and his UKULELE do this scam in the first place….and the whole story makes me laugh…that’s why I am posting it…

Stupid Australians…

If you don’t like that…here’s a kid fucking with a cat…until the cat attacks him and it is the best LOLCat video of ever

Posted in:Videos

2013

30

Sep

Some Glamour Models and their 2014 Calendar Pics of the Day

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Show NSFW Content

I’ve never heard of Melissa Debling, Stacey Poole or Chanelle Hayes, at least not that I know of, but I have probably seen their tits, which would explain why they remain nameless, or why I don’t waste any space in my brain remember who the fuck these nobody whores are…

I hate Glamour models and the whole Glamour model movement. I think they are a waste of fucking space and just misguided strippers who are over exposed, over celebrated and who have egos and think they are important, when they aren’t….

No, I haven’t been broken hearted by a Galmour model, and a Glamour model hasn’t turned me down for sex…that’s not where this comes from…you see I just don’t beleve these average at best girls deserve the attention even if they have big titties and take a decent cheesy as fuck picture…I think that they should be giving lap dances instead…

But I guess on the flip side of strippers turned famous twats, there’s Walmart worker inspired for a better life, but not into stripping cuz that’s for whores, turned Glamour model, cuz it’s ok to be naked in a photo studio and it always leads to soccer playing rich Boyfriends…

But they are still nearly hot enough to call themselves a model…or get any of the perks of being a model…but instead they do…and here they are modelling for their 2014 Calendars because their white trash fans still buy Calendars for their blue collar jobs and trailer park homes, since smart phone and computers require knowing how to read to operate…

Enjoy.

Posted in:NSFW

2013

30

Sep

Ashley Smith is My Cheerleader in NYLON of the Day

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Ashley Smith is an up and coming model who makes me interested in getting up in it and getting it cumming provided she answered me on instagram, where I’ve been sending her love letters and messages of how we are soul mates for at least a year…only to be ignored…because as you know sometimes words just get in the way of feelings…you know don’t speak, just keep doing photoshoots with your gap tooth and big titties to show me that you care…unless she’s more of a if I ignore the creep he doesn’t exist and will go away…but that can’t be the case..I mean how could anyone…not want to love me back….

Either way, she’s dressed like a Cheerleader in hipster turned pop magazine, and I like it even if it isn’t edgy enough, but in my defines, I like everything Ashley Smith does…especially when it involves showing her nips..

She’ll be famous soon, I am sure of it.

Posted in:Ashley Smith

2013

30

Sep

Porn Star Mom Kim Kardashian Brings Out Her Boobs of the Day

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Unlike her sister KOURTNEY , Kim Kardashian, Porn Mom, decided to be a little be more shameless in her self promotion for this season of the Kardashains, and instead of covering up her Porn Mom tits, she decided to put them on blast, in a see through dress, so that everyone focuses on her tits, instead of the work she’s had done to her face….

Now everyone can question why her nipple is aiming so far to the left, is it trying to escape her body because it is so fucking horrible to be associated with Kim Kardashian, kinda her kid while it tried to hang itself with the umbilical cord in the womb, or is it just trying to escape her body because it has seen so many horrible things done to it on this quest to make 100,000,000 dollars a year with no real marketable skill, and it is ready to turn in the towel… or maybe is it just trying to starve out the kid, assuming Kim breast feeds it, because that would end the next generation of this shit…but we all know she doesn’t breast feed anything, she’s probably only seen the kid once, it gets in the way of her porn mom-ing, self promotion…

Either way, she’s horrible, this is expected, she is the one who gave her vagina to the world to get a reality show…I mean titties in a dress with a window ain’t much a thing…

Here’s what Kanye has to say about it…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kim Kardashian