DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

16

Sep

Kelly Brook’s Bikini at 16 for Instagram of the Day

Kelly Brook posted the above picture to her instagram saying something along the lines of “My first shoot at 16″….to either prove to the haters that she’s got tits…or to cater to the pervert creeper fans..by given them something semi-illegal to jerk off to…or to let us all know she’s been a half naked, using her body to get ahead since she was a kid….you know when other kids were getting an education, her and her parents, if she even has parents, cuz I am going to assume by the bikini modelling at 16, she didn’t….were whoring her out…I mean usually girls only learn how to whore in their early 20s when all else fails…but this Kelly Brook has a solid 3 decades invested in this…

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2013

16

Sep

Kelly Rowland for Shape Magazine of the Day

No Comments »

While Beyonce was getting ripped off stage by some crazed fan who was trying to bring her home to meet his mom, or maybe his gay friends who couldn’t make it to the concert, but who he wanted to bring the concert to, because the gay who brings Beyonce to the party, is that Gay who is probably walking away HIV Positive thanks to all the unprotected appreciation…they’re given…

Kelly Rowaland was in Shape Magazine, showing the world that when you buy yourself tits, and do sit-ups, you can come across as a lean bitch, who doesn’t look all that much like a dude….because of the cleavage…

Shape is notorious for photoshopping the shit out of everything, so it’s safe to say, the shit has been photoshopped out of this…and no, that wasn’t a racist joke…because unlike you redneck trash, I like black girls, they are so exotic and remind me of masturbation in the 80s…thanks to National Geographic…we’ve gone over this before, stop making me repeat myself.

Posted in:Kelly Rowland

2013

16

Sep

Jessie J in a Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t know if anyone cares about Jessie J, a UK popstar who may be popular here, but I can’t be too sure, because I avoid pop music as hard as I can, not because I am some obscure hipster who only likes the sounds of pots and pans being beat against pavement rhythmically, but because I am convinced these corporate run puppets are trying to brain wash me through the radio and that shit scares me…I mean I know lyrics to Lady Gaga songs, and I don’t even know lyrics to songs I like, and more importantly, I have never put on a Lady Gaga song…proving to me that this illuminati music shit is real fucking life…

What I do know is that Jessie J used to rock the leotard on stage, and now she’s rocking a bikini in some twitter pics I can’t jerk off to, because she’s not naked, but I’ll post anyway, because you probably can…

Posted in:Jessie J

2013

16

Sep

Guy on Drugs of the Day

No Comments »

Thanks to drugs, the world is a more interesting place.

The other night some dude was kicking random store windows screaming that he wanted to kill everyone….before the cops jumped him and shoved his face into the ground….

Earlier today, some hipster kid was walking down the street and dropped his pants and took a shit in the middle of the street…

Then there is this guy, who is seemingly pretty fucking normal, freaking the fuck out, because he took a molly, but the problem with Molly is that it is never Molly, but rather fucking meth and other garbage thrown together for idiots to rave on…

Real Molly…doesn’t do any of this shit to anyone, which is too bad because it would make all those EDM parties a little more tolerable…

It’s just never ending good times…and the commentator needs his own TV show. “He’s got to drink some milk”…what?

Posted in:Videos|Zuzanna Stankiewicz

2013

16

Sep

Anastasia Ashley Rockin’ her stepSHIRT of the Day

1 Comment »

Anastasia Ashley may not be your conventional babe. She’s athletic not anorexic. She’s got real tits not implants, and the only eating shit that we know of is on the wave when she’s surfing professionally, and not in the bathroom of some Beverly Hills Mansion for some rich dude who is paying for her, like all these other hookers I talk about.

She is perfection, maybe even a dream girl sent from heaven to win my heart…like a trip to Disneyworld brings joy to a kid dying of cancer….she is the make a wish foundation for my cold dead heart…and I am not just saying that because she’s wearing a Drunkenstefather stepSHIRT …I am saying that because it is true.

She’s goin’ places, unfortunately none of those places are into my anal sex dungeon in may basement, where I’d feed her twice a day in the cage she’s held captive in, if you know what I mean, because you can’t spell true love or real passion without forced imprisonment…I am just a romantic like that…cages in basements are no different than actual marriage…other than less cheating on each other with the neighbors…because there are no neighbors in cages in the basement…and sometimes cages in basements are the only way to get your point across and or anal sex….

I don’t know what I’m saying, but I do know I would love to get this girl pregnant…and never leave her side…even if this is as good as it gets…her wearing one of my shirts…never to be heard from again…at least we’ve had this moment…which is okay cuz I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life…

I’ve peaked.

Get your own stepSHIRT to slaughter at Drunkensweatshop.com

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|drunkensweatshop|stepEXCLUSIVE|stepSHIRTS

2013

16

Sep

The Emmys Happned of the Day

No Comments »

Wow…I had no idea the Emmys were happening…or happened…because I am the worst celebrity blogger in the history of celebrity bloggers…but more importantly…I generally don’t give a fuck about any of this shit…and I am just more into mocking these assholes….because they aren’t as good as they think they are…and they aren’t as hot as they think they are…and they are paid a lot of fucking money and sucked up to by so many people who shouldn’t suck up to them…because they don’t deserve to be sucked up to…in this weird eco-system or micro society of fucking insanity…that makes no sense…but that the public eats up because the public are fucking retards…overworked, in debt and too tired to realize the lie…

I mean they even have their own fucking award shows celebrating their lives and their work…even though their bank accounts and easy living should celebrate that shit enough for them…it’s so arrogant, pretentious, pompous and I hate everything about it..

The money that went into this…is money that could be applied to so many useful things…things that aren’t random awards for idiots who already won…

They celebrated Heidi Klum, I mean really? What kind of award show is this shit…

The highlight, as far as I’m concerned is this pic of Sarah Highland…

CLICK HERE TO SEE ALL THE WINNERS AND ALL THE BITCHES IN DRESSES

Posted in:Emmy's

2013

16

Sep

Vanessa Hudgens is Still Pudgens of the Day

No Comments »

I have seen Vanessa Hudgens grow up from a 17 year old hairy pussy in some nude pics I am convinced she leaked in efforts to break free from the mouse ear empire that made her and pave the way as a legit actress who gets naked but more importantly…that doesn’t shave her pussy…into a chubby threesome rocking bikini clad bitch in Springbreakers, who I may have hated the entire time, and who I may have been disgusted by her pudge or her comfort level in being in a bikini despite her pudge, even if she is and forever will be Vanessa Pudgens,..a portly body we’ve come to accept…

She’s’ out in shorts showing belly and I’m posting it…because that is what she’s all about…embracing the fat…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Vanessa Hudgens

2013

16

Sep

Creeper of the Day

No Comments »

This guy seems to have it all figured out…he’s pulling my favorite move that I usually save for the dance floor, only I have way more style, rhythm and grace, or at least I think I do because I am drunk and when drunk we are all good dancers….because my creeper brushing up against random girls happens on the dance floor…

This guy who is awkwardly standing behind chicks with a hand in my pocket bumping’ into their asses like this freak…is kinda funny, even if he deserves to get beat the fuck up…and really the only question I have, is who the camera man is….

Posted in:Videos

2013

16

Sep

Beyonce Gets Pulled Off Stage by a Fan of the Day

No Comments »

This is funny to me, mainly because celebrities are robots and not human to me, you see if this was a girl on a bus, or in a park at the playground, I would probably be like “someone should call the police”…but when it comes to Beyonce, I kinda want him to win, you know and drag her out back to his van where he takes her to some camp in the woods where she is never found again…

Unfortunately, Beyonce forgives her crazy fan who can’t get enough Beyonce, after getting manhandled by his super gay powers, because you’d think she’d need farm equipment to handle moving her from pasture to pasture….

The whole thing could have ended so much better to the world…since she’s evil..but again, Beyonce wins.

Posted in:Beyonce

2013

16

Sep

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

No Comments »

Canadian Comiccon wasn’t necessarily the highlight of my weekend, because I hate all that nerd shit, and the stale smell of semen and desperation that comes with it. I find it boring, depressing, even sad seeing what should only happen alone in a basement at your moms house, because you have no friends, but you have your imagination and a whole world you created, and who really needs friends anyway, come out and interact with other people…not to mention the girls in Cosplay are lazy and just wearing Halloween costumes a month before Halloween, not to mention they are all the weird wool sock wearing lesbian looking girls who eat too many french fries…if you know what I mean….

I think the highlight of the weekend was watching Bieber walk out with Mayweather or spending some alone time in the stripclub with a stripper named Alex…who charged me out of the ass for every fucking second of it.

Here are some stepLINKS…follow me on INSTAGRAM

Anchor Woman Drops the C-BOMB
GO

Bieber is the Next Robin…
GO

15 Selfies
GO

Scarlett Johansson’s at a Movie Premiere!
GO

Big Stupid Tits
GO

We Like Miss AMerica Contestants Tats
GO

Hot To Get a Lazy Dog Out of Bed
GO

Penguin Pees on Bride
GO

Hot To Survive a Lightning Stike
GO

Failed Bike Robbery
GO

Parkour Fail
GO

So many Girls Getting Dirty As Fuck for Free ….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS